Thank you so much for your interest in this story! I'm so thankful that you're reading, and I hope you enjoy. Several people have asked, so I will go ahead and assure everyone that this story, like all of my others, will be an eventual HEA. Trust me!
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I'm on a roll tonight- at the tail end of a 16 hour shift so I'm obviously running on nothing at caffeine at this point and that is resulting in lots of typing!
… …
Violet was a deep sleeper. She always had been, even when she was a baby. It was almost midnight by the time I crawled into my old bed with her, but I stayed awake a little while longer. I watched her sleep for what had to be the millionth time and it never got old.
There was a pang in my chest when I realized that all the things I had experienced with her would never be replicated for her father, and that was because of me. I hadn't found out that I was pregnant until after I left this town, but after I did find out, I had been faced with a decision. And even though I wasn't really proud of the choice I had made now, it had been a very scary thing back then and I'd had no idea what I was doing.
I had called him once, twice, three times. I left one message. He never answered, or called me back. I took that as a sign, and from there, I never really looked back.
But now, as I looked down at my sleeping daughter, all I really saw was him. She had my dark brown curls, but everything else…his green eyes, full lips, crooked smile. She was like his little clone, and anyone who knew him would know immediately that she was his daughter. And because everybody knew everybody in this tiny town, I had to tell him sooner rather than later.
… …
"Mom, do you happen to have his address?" I asked, trying to keep my tone light and conversational as we did the dishes the following morning- her washing while I dried.
"I don't think I have the actual address, but I'm sure your dad knows," she replied, casting a glance towards the living room, where my dad and Violet were parked in front of the television.
"Vi, scoot back!" I called, waiting until she complied before turning back to my mother. "I have to go talk to him," I sighed. "I need to get it over with…it's been too long already."
"Five years too long," she said with a sharp look.
I knew she was right, but I didn't want to hear it right now. I had made some horrible decisions in the past, but now I was willing to face the consequences, no matter how hard it was going to be. Because I knew that this was what was best for not only him, but also for our daughter.
She was only five, and although she'd had some questions before, the issue with her father not being in the picture hadn't become too serious. It helped that one of her friends from play group was also raised by a single mother, and she hadn't started asking where her father was yet. The more I thought about it, the more I felt sick to my stomach. What if my selfish choice hurt her in some way?
And what if I had managed to damage her non-existent relationship with her father beyond repair?
… …
"He lives with his girlfriend," my dad warned, holding the slip of paper with his address written on it in his hand. "Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?"
"I'm sure," I said, but I heard my own voice shake. "Seriously, dad. I can do this. I made this choice, and now it's time to face the consequences of that choice. I have to do this."
My dad nodded, and handed me the slip of paper without another word.
I stared at it for a long time, but I couldn't put this off any longer.
I peeked in the mirror on my way out the door, satisfied with my appearance but also realizing that I looked completely different than I had the last time we had seen each other. I was an adult now, and so was he. We were different people. But now, we were linked together for the rest of our lives through the life of the daughter I had kept from him.
… …
The front door was red.
I took a deep breath as I stared at the door, gripping the steering wheel of my mom's car tightly. The door to the garage of the house open, and the only car parked there was the same one that he had driven while we were in high school. It was another reminder of how familiar we used to be. There was a time where we had known everything there was to know about each other.
But that time was long gone. We barely knew each other anymore.
I clutched my bag tightly as I walked up to the house, my heart pounding in my chest. I felt like I was going to faint as I reached for the doorbell, but I did it anyway.
A few moments passed, but then the door swung open and I was face to face with Edward Cullen for the first time since in six years.
… …
Edward Cullen
That day started the same as any other Monday.
I worked three twelve hour shifts a week, and since today was an off day, I woke up at seven instead of six. I had my usual breakfast, and kissed Lauren goodbye at the door when she left for her job teaching third graders at Forks Elementary.
I tried to take advantage of the peace and quiet in order to clear my mind, but I was struggling.
Time seemed to pass faster the older I got. I wasn't getting any younger, and as Lauren loved to remind me, it was time to start settling down.
We had been together for the last two years, and although I did love Lauren, lately I had been feeling a lot more hesitant about moving forward. I wanted marriage, and I wanted kids, but…maybe things weren't right. But at the same time, maybe they were, and I just couldn't recognize it because I was hung up on a girl that had run out of my life and this town six years ago.
… …
The doorbell rang, which surprised me. I wasn't expecting anyone, or any packages, and my family members would never have the decency to actually ring the doorbell before coming into my house.
But then I opened the door, and I was no longer surprised. I was shocked.
I hadn't seen Bella Swan since the day we broke up, back when we were practically kids. She broke my heart, and I think I broke hers, too.
"Bella?" I asked incredulously, staring at her. It was Bella, alright, but not the Bella I knew before. She was older, obviously- I was, too. But there was something so different that seemed like more than just age. She had never been quite so put together before, and although she had always been beautiful, that beauty had grown as she aged.
"Hey, Edward," she said, smiling nervously. I saw her fidgeting with the zipper of her jacket, a nervous habit from when we were teenagers that she obviously hadn't been able to kick. "It's nice to see you."
"Yeah…" I replied, running my hand through my hair. "Um, do you want to come in?"
She nodded, and I stepped aside and held the door open for her. "How have you been?" I asked awkwardly as she entered the house.
"Good, good," she said, looking around curiously. "It's been a long time, huh?" She asked, cracking a smile to show me that she was uncomfortable, too.
"Definitely," I agreed. "I think the last time that we saw each other, you threw a promise ring at my head and told me that you never wanted to see me again."
"I have the same recollection," she said, shaking her head. "Sorry about that."
"Nah, don't worry about it," I said with a shrug. "You always did have horrible aim."
She smiled again at that. "Can't argue with that, I guess."
"Also, I think I might have done something to elicit that reaction," I added. "I just…didn't expect you to skip town before we could make up."
"I didn't really come here to rehash all that," Bella said quickly, scrunching up her nose. "I was hoping that we could, um, talk. About some important stuff."
"Of course," I said, and gestured for her to have a seat at the kitchen table while sitting down at the spot across from it. "What's going on?"
"Edward…God, I don't even know how to say this," she began, and I found myself getting worried. "When I left, I planned on never coming back, ever. I wanted to get away from this tiny town, and find out who I really was," she started to explain, but she looked like panic was setting in. "I…well, I don't know if you remember, but a couple of weeks after I left, I tried to call you a few times? And, um, I think I left a message or two?"
"Yeah…sorry I didn't call you back, but, uh…I was kind of upset," I explained sheepishly, and she nodded.
"I understand. It's just that…I called you for a reason. And it was important. I should have tried to call again, or come back to see you, but I lost my nerve. I'm so sorry, Edward."
I stared at her, confused and a little scared. What could she possibly have to say that was so difficult? And what could it have to do with me?
"When I left Forks, I planned on never coming back," she repeated. "But I should have. Edward, I…I found out I was pregnant. That's when I tried to call you."
She was crying now, and I was still confused, but also shocked. Pregnant? Bella had been pregnant. With my baby. And that meant… "What…what the hell do you mean?" I asked, standing up from the table abruptly. "Bella, what is going on?"
"I was pregnant, and I had a baby," she confessed. "I had your baby. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"You…you had my baby." I stared at her, my hands in my hair and my eyes wide. "Bella…"
Bella had my baby. Five, almost six years ago. I had a baby. No- not a baby. A child.
"I'm sorry," she repeated. "I messed up. God, I messed up so bad. I thought that I made the right choice, but now…I know that I didn't. I had to come back to Forks, but I knew I couldn't come back without telling you. I'm so sorry."
"What…I don't even know what to say…" I said, trailing off in disbelief. "Bella, what the fuck!"
"I know. I know." She stared at me with tears in her eyes, and a whole storm of emotions came crashing down on me. I didn't understand how I was feeling, and I couldn't put it into words. Nothing made since.
Not only did I have a child, but I had missed out on….on everything. Pregnancy. Birth. Sleepless nights with an infant. Teaching them to walk, talk…everything. Preschool, and then elementary school. There were almost six years that I had been completely absent for. And it wasn't even through my own choice. That's what hurt the most.
I was furious. And I was hurt. But there was a bigger feeling coming through. I knew that what was most important was that I had a child- and Bella was the way to him…or her.
"Is it…is it a boy or a girl?" I asked, surprised at the sudden calmness of my voice.
She looked stunned, too, as I slowly sunk back down into my chair.
"Um…um, girl," Bella finally said. "She's a girl. Violet. Violet Lane."
"Tell me. Tell me everything," I said, almost as a plea. "Everything."
… …
Well? Let me know what you think! Hope to see you guys again next week for the next chapter of Free!
