Chapter 2 - All Over You - The Spill Canvas

Lily lay in bed alone again.

She was avoiding Caleb, who was looking for answers. She really needed so sort out her mind before she could give them to him.

Caleb was nice, and sweet, and smart, and…

And for some reason she didn't feel it anymore.

It wasn't working for her.

The distraction wasn't a distraction anymore. He felt more like an annoyance that she needed to deal with.

If she was completely honest with herself, he left much to be desired in the bedroom, often leaving her considerably unsatisfied.

She whined to the empty room.

The bedroom was the place she seemed to need the most distraction. Those times when she was alone with her thoughts and with the memories of him.

She sighed as she looked at the ceiling, knowing that she didn't really have that much experience in that department; what with James being the only other person she had ever slept with.

But she doubted Caleb would ever be able to make her feel those same primal feelings.

They hadn't been intimate that many times, but she knew the difference between the two.

While Caleb tried his best to please her, it seemed he fell short; touching the wrong spot at the wrong time, moaning loudly in her ear when she was trying to concentrate on the sensations.

He had known exactly what to do, where to touch and when.

She'd found it hard to believe that he had never done that before. It was as if he could read her mind and her movements.

Her skin was starting to catch fire while ripples of lust began making their way between her legs. Slowly, her breath coming out shallow, she started moving her hand in the same direction.

"I need to snap out of this," she told herself, stopping herself.

Deciding to splash her face with cold water instead, she got out of bed and made her way to the bathroom.

Distractedly she had forgotten it was a shared bathroom. A shared Head's bathroom. A bathroom she shared with the Head Boy; James Potter.

A very, very, very wet James Potter.

In her defense, she hadn't seen him in days. Not since the Halloween Ball, three nights ago.

And now he was standing in front of her, so very very wet, with only a small towel wrapped around his waist.

For unending moments all she could do was watch the water glide down him, glistening when it caught the light.

"Evans my eyes are up her," he clicked his fingers at her, snapping her back to a very dry reality.

He was grinning at her arrogantly knowing exactly what she was looking at so hungrily.

Lily swallowed hard, trying not to lose her cool, glancing enviously one last time at the water droplets making their way down to his towel, before rounding to the sink.

"Don't flatter yourself," she threw at him, hoping it was enough to cover her arousal.

She grabbed her toothbrush and toothpaste, proceeding to brush her teeth vigorously, her eyes never leaving the reflection of his retreating back from the mirror.

As he walked out, closing the door behind him, she let herself crumble ever so slightly.

She pulled her toothbrush from her mouth, bowing her head and sighing. It came out deep and shaky.

Vainly she tried to calm the rapidness of her heart as well as the lightness of her head.

She was dizzy.

How could someone have so much control over her very being? How could someone affect her so much?

How could he look at her with so much anger and turn her on in a way that defied every single one of her senses?

James Potter.

His power over her scared her. He could make her behave in ways she would never do consciously.

She sighed deeply one more time, regaining some sense of control.

Raising her head she let out a surprised squeak, when his reflection stared back at her from the mirror.

When did he come back in?

How long had he been there for?

"Don't do that!" she scowled at him, clutching the sink tighter.

After she rinsed her mouth from toothpaste, she did the mistake of turning to face him.

He noticed that his chest was still bare, although, she noted with some disappointment, he now wore long black pyjama bottoms. He held his arms behind his back, feigning innocence.

Willing herself not to stare at anything below his neck, she tried to focus on his eyes.

"Why not?" he smirked down at her.

He knew he was making her uncomfortable.

He loved it.

He knew he was playing with fire.

He didn't care. He wanted to break her.

He stepped closer, his smirk widening at her desperation for escape.

"Because you scared me to death!" she stammered.

Her breathing was coming out in short forced breaths, her eyes unfocused and dilated.

Clearly Caleb isn't doing his job properly, he mocked in his mind.

"I'd be ok with that," wanting to sound harsh.

He couldn't explain why his own breath was coming out just as laboured.

She frowned, looking slighted.

Without any intention to do so, he ducked his head, capturing her lips with his.

She gasped against him in surprise, but took no steps to escape.

He moved his lips slowly and with purpose over hers, his hands moving ever so softly down her arms, sending bolts of electricity down her spine.

He moved closer to her, pressing his body against hers.

She could feel that his chest was still a bit damp from his shower.

Merlin, she wanted more.

Her eyes closed as he felt him slide his tongue across her bottom lip.

Just as she was about to open her mouth to his, he tightened his grip on her arms.

In one swift move, he picked her up and moved her to the side, away from the sink where he broke the kiss.

With a smile on his face, he left her gaping at him as he went ahead to brush his own teeth.

"You could have just asked me to move you know," she snapped at him, still staring at him aghast.

Instead of answering her right away, he continued brushing his teeth as she watched. Her mouth couldn't be convinced to shut itself.

Finished, he turned to her with a devilish grin and fire in his eyes.

"I know," he winked at her as he turned and walked out on her, once more leaving her at loss for words.

She stared at the spot he once stood wanting to scream.

OoOoOoOoO

"What the flying fuck was that?" he told himself off.

How was that a good idea you fucking idiot?

Safely behind his bedroom door he let out a trail of obscenities. Obscenities that only got worse after he kicked his bed; something that sent pain shooting up his leg.

He had been sure that he was over her!

He was damn it!

It's that she was gorgeous.

Yes!

That's it!

It wasn't love!

It was lust.

He knew the feeling well.

It's what drove him to her in the first place.

He just needed to be careful.

Knowing this feeling well didn't change anything. It could cost him dearly if he didn't watch his step.

He'd come along way.

He couldn't afford to go backwards.

He couldn't do it all again. He might not be as lucky as he had been the first time.

He had been fine with hating her. With how she treated him last year, he had the reasons to back up that hatred.

He was easier to hate her than…

Whatever he used to feel for her.

He just had to be sure to stay away from her that's all.

He sighed deeply, lying on his bed, willing sleep to come over him.

"Fucking idiot," he whispered to no one.

OoOoOoOoO

"Fucking idiot," she whispered into the dark.

Images of a very wet James kept creeping into her mind, driving away sleep.

She tried to focus on the ceiling, urging herself to forget how close they had gotten, how he had smelled faintly of vanilla, how he tasted vaguely of cocoa.

Her memories flashed to their dance a few nights ago.

She felt his arms around her, his breath against her ear.

His taste returned back to her mouth.

She huffed in the darkness, slamming her clenched fist against her bed beside her.

How could someone make her feel all this? She thought to herself, getting hotter and hotter by the second.

She moved her hand between her legs, feeling her wetness, cursing James once more.

This time she didn't move her hand, allowing herself to imagine him on top of her; his scent his touch, his lips, his bite.

Hopefully with this dealt with, she might be able get some sleep.

OoOoOoOoO

"Lily!" Emma snapped at her once more. She was beginning to find it incredibly annoying, that her best friend kept spacing out every few seconds.

Especially when she was trying to talk to her about something.

"What?" Lily mumbled in a distracted response, as she glanced towards the Great Hall entrance.

She had made her decision the night before.

Today was the day.

She just hoped she'd be able to go through with it.

"Are you even paying attention to me?" Emma went on, her temper beginning to get the better of her.

"Of course," Lily muttered back, still staring at the door.

Emma grunted loudly and turned to stare at her food.

Lily glanced at her best friend, guilt taking hold of her. She wanted to tell her everything. About James, about Caleb, about last night, about the ball, about last year.

She thought about it.

Breakfast, in the Great Hall before Transfiguration, was probably not the best idea.

Sighing, she swore to tell Emma soon.

She sensed him staring at her and she looked back toward the Ravenclaw table.

She would have to deal with that was well. Sooner rather than later.

She sighed again deeply and made her way toward Caleb, smiling meekly as a sense of dread filled her stomach.

James growled, as he watched her approach the Ravenclaw table. Shaking his head, he drove his hand through his hair, trying his damndest to focus on his breakfast.

He wasn't hungry.

Sirius watched him closely, before turning his gaze to the direction James was staring in.

Evans?

He raised an inquisitive eyebrow, watching him closer.

OoOoOoOoO

Lily made her way back to Emma, unable to stop herself from looking over at James, who seemed angry at his breakfast.

Why was he glaring at his toast?

Was he ok?

She shook her head.

She didn't care, she reminded herself.

You just need to stay away from him, that's all, she told told herself. For your own sanity, if not for anything else.

She sat next to Emma and her eyes wandered back to James, who seemed to be smirking now for some reason.

OoOoOoOoO

Must be shitty company, he smirked to himself, as he watched her walk back to Emma.

He felt peckish suddenly.

Sirius, never one to skip a beat, missed nothing.

"Hey, Prongs, since when does Evans stare at you?" he asked nonchalantly, stuffing some pancakes in his mouth.

He almost spat out his food trying not to laugh with how quickly James's head had snapped in her direction.

"Since last night," he grinned broadly as he winked at her, causing her to blush and look away.

What the fuck? Was the joint thought that came from Sirius, Remus and Peter, surprise making them mute.

"Want to expand on that mate?" Remus quipped, recovering the fastest and unable to keep his curiosity at bay.

"Not presently," his eyes glinted. He knew he would tell them, he just wanted to enjoy this a bit more.

It had been a long time since he had felt this mischievous.

"Oh, come on Prongs," Peter hissed, " you can't say something like that and then just drop the subject."

James rolled his eyes at him. Peter, ever the drama queen.

"Ok, ok, fine," he surrendered, " she walked in on me while I was coming out of the shower last night," he refused to look at them.

He was feeling hot.

"What? Speak up James. I thought you said that Lily Evans walked in you coming out of the shower," Remus repeated mockingly.

James threw him a glare.

"Well that would explain it." Sirius exclaimed. "Anyone would be traumatised if they saw that."

James threw him a glare too.

She of all people should be used to it, he thought with a smug grin.

"And for what reason pray tell, do you have that ridiculous smirk on your face?" Remus whispered out of earshot, unnoticed by Sirius and Peter who discussing the upcoming Quidditch match.

James grinned at him further.

"Not today Moony. Maybe another time, but not today," he promised him sincerely, as he glanced at the end of the table, where Lily had been sitting.

She was gone.

He could still feel her.

He was unnerved by the realisation.

I just need to stay away.

Piece of cake.

OoOoOoOoO

Lily found herself in Transfiguration, unable to concentrate on what her professor was saying.

She knew she was going to get in trouble.

She shook her head for the hundredth time since she had entered the class, trying to focus on the words Professor McGonagall was uttering.

Something about Human Transfiguration.

A wet James appeared in her mind again in a flash. Despite her want for him to disappear, her desire to be one of those drops of water racing down his body towards his towel, was much, much greater.

She sighed at the thought, knowing he wouldn't really mind. He loved everything to do with water.

Biting her lip for a moment, she allowed herself a glance at him.

He sat across the room with Peter, Remus and Sirius.

He looked down at his parchment intently, concentrating on something she couldn't see. There seemed to be something on his mind.

She wondered what he was thinking about, before shaking her head vigorously, reminding herself that she really didn't care.

Resigning herself, she was just going to have to accept that today's lesson was not one that could capture her attention as well as the naked and wet body of a James Potter.

She sighed, rolling her head back to face the ceiling.

This time, her thoughts drifted to Caleb, guilt welling up in the pit of her stomach.

She gave a sideways glance in his general direction, without moving her head, mildly surprised to notice that he had not come to class.

She felt the guilt within her, even though she knew she had to do it. It was not fair on him to be stuck in a relationship when she no longer felt anything for him.

Not to mention how rattled James made her, she sighed again, deeper.

She had no one now. No Caleb. No James.

She could now wallow in self pity.

Part of her was regretting the decision already.

It had nothing to do with her feelings with Caleb.

She wasn't very good at being alone.

It had to do with the way James made her feel.

Mostly.

Despite it all, Caleb had been the perfect distraction for quite some time.

With that gone, she had to resign herself to flashes of naked flesh at all inconvenient hours of the day. If she was being completely frank, it was driving her fucking crazy!

Sweet misery, her mind mocked her.

How was it even possible for him to effect her that much? Still! After all this time? She closed her eyes facing the ceiling once more, her breath coming out harder.

Because he was your first, her mind stated matter-of-factly. You never get over your first.

Shut up, she whispered under her breath, trying to quiet the voices in her head.

And you know you love the fact that you were his first, her mind giggled at her.

Shut up, she breathed silently.

You know he was right at the Ball, he mind told her, flashing a reminder.

"I'm the one you look for when you're alone at night" his voice breathed in her head, "I'm the only one that can ever make you fucking whole."

"Shut up!" she snapped, opening her eyes at the realisation that the words had actually escaped her mouth.

Out loud.

In Class.

Transfiguration Class.

Professor McGonagall's Transfiguration Class.

Silence followed as everyone stared at her. Professor McGonagall raised a very controlled eyebrow, excruciatingly slowly.

"Excuse me, Miss Evans?" she asked cautiously.

Eyes darted between the two expectantly.

Only one set of eyes was transfixed on her without moving.

She could feel them boring into her.

She begged her own not to travel to his. She knew that if she looked in his direction, it would be the end of her.

Instead, she focused her gaze on the professor, willing herself to look as embarrassed as she felt.

"Miss Evans," Professor McGonagall's voice came out in a drawl, "did you or did you not ask me to shut up?" she asked pointedly.

Lily remained silent, wishing the ground would hurry up and swallow her.

Suffocating silence remained instead, as the professor sighed disappointedly.

"Detention, Miss Evans," she informed her casually, "for impudence and not paying attention in my lesson," she ended.

Lily was about to apologise, but Professor McGonagall had already turned away from her to write their assignment on the blackboard.

She wondered why the professor might have shot a meaningful glance at James before doing so, even though something inside her convinced her, that she probably didn't want to know.

Without realising it, she did what she had struggled against doing. She glanced at him.

The impact was instantaneous.

It felt like being hit by lightning.

His eyes sank into hers and she could feel heat rising up inside her. She could hear herself trying to convince herself to look away from the dark hazel eyes staring back at her.

She could see the smirk playing on his lips but she couldn't pull herself away from his eyes. There was something in them, something that made her forget what or how to think.

Something that filled her with dread and excitement at the same time.

"Lily!" she heard Emma hiss at her.

She saw Sirius had hissed at James as well, at the same time and she smiled smugly at his his annoyance.

She effected him.

She saw Emma watch her expectantly.

"What?" she asked finally, when the questions never came.

"What the fuck was that?" came the strangled whisper from Emma.

"What was what?" she replied stupidly.

She knew what Emma meant, she just didn't actually know how to answer.

"Not paying attention in class? Staring at James? That, Evans. What was that!?" Emma threw her head in his direction for emphasis.

Lily almost rolled her eyes at her friend's irritability. It was to be expected of course, but did she have to be so obvious about it?

"Nothing. I just didn't sleep very well last night," she half lied weakly.

In her defense, it wasn't entirely a lie; no matter what she had tried, images of James never eased away, pushing sleep further and further away.

"And the staring?" Emma demanded.

"I wasn't staring," the lie came out before she could stop it, "I swear!"

"Whatever Lily. When you decide that you want to tell me what's really going on, you know where to find me," Emma's words hit her hard, cold and detached, just as class had been dismissed.

Emma gathered her things quickly and went out the door, without another word.

Just as Lily was doing the same, she heard the words she hadn't heard in almost a year, making her blood run cold.

"Miss Evans, Mr. Potter, please stay behind to discuss your detentions," professor McGonagall's voice came out strictly.

James, almost out the door, cursed under his breath, before turning to her with a smile plastered on her face.

"Of course, Professor," the words came through his clenched teeth.

Lily had to make a double take in his direction.

When had he managed to get into detention?

Professor McGonagall must have noticed her perplexed look.

"Yes, Miss Evans, you will be having detention with Mr. Potter. Apparently my lesson isn't as important as whatever is going on in your own little world, for both my Head Students to be daydreaming in my class," she huffed.

"I must say, that I am so very disappointed in the two of you. Not only are you in your final year here, not only are you both Gryffindors, but you are also the Head Students of this school. This makes you the primary role models of the school and the first two our younger students look to for guidance."

She looked at them sternly.

"Actions have consequences."

Lily needed to get away.

She was drowning next to him.

"And what would our consequences be professor?" she asked tentatively.

Her proximity to James was making her come undone. It seemed like her senses were seeking him out, making it harder for her to breath.

The professor looked at her carefully, as if to measure her intentions.

"You will be at the Trophy Room," she stated, "8pm sharp."

They waited for any further information.

She continued to clean up her desk for a few more moments before she realised they were still there.

She waved her hand exasperatedly.

"Dismissed," was all she said, before she continued about her business.

They turned their respective heels, without a single glance at each other, and made their way out the door.

Having separate classes, they went different directions, relieved to be rid of each others presence.