Inuyasha found himself struck with a pang of undesired nostalgia as he made the upward trek toward a mountain peak. Bribed by food and a nice place to stay the night in the nearby village, Inuyasha had agreed to slay the terror that lurked somewhere in the heights that overlooked the village. After he had rescued one of their idiot little boys from a hungry tengu, the villagers had practically begged him to help them. This time, Inuyasha had been lucky enough to take down a real man-eating monster in plain sight before the villagers had the chance to shove that same title right up his ass. With no humans following him around to vouch for him, Inuyasha had to be prepared for anything.
The journey was like old times. Except for the being entirely alone part. To make his way on his own for a while had been no one's choice but his own, he had to remind himself sometimes. But, the thing is, Inuyasha had never actually specified how long his journey of solitude would last. He tried not to think about it, but it had lasted longer than he had meant for it to. And he had no one but himself to tell him he was an asshole for leaving everything behind for so long. He was also pretty great at telling himself he was not ready to go back. And even better at ignoring that fact that he did not know how to go back.
Ten years had passed since Kagome had returned to her own time. Naraku had been defeated, the Shikon no Tama had been destroyed, and Kagome had needed to make a choice. And well, she chose. Kagome had chosen her world over a life with him. Inuyasha hadn't understood why Kagome had left him. She loved him with all her heart, she had said. As her window to choose between worlds was fading, that was what she said, before telling him and all of their friends that she had to go. She had wrapped her arms around him and kissed him once. And before they all knew it, she was gone. Forever.
Inuyasha had not understood. If Kagome had loved him, if she had loved them all, why had she not chosen to be with him? His grief had made it nearly impossible to look beyond the single reality that she had loved him.
Kagome was full of love, even for things that did not exactly deserve her love, though it was beyond Inuyasha how she managed that. After ages of sitting by that old accursed well, even when he knew she would never again come through it, he realized he had been a complete idiot. Kagome's life wasn't like his. Unlike him, Kagome had a real family. A family who loved her, who needed her. Inuyasha would have given his sword hand to have his own family. And Inuyasha had expected Kagome to—to what? Leave her family and everything she knew to live in a world that was violent and cruel because, for some reason, she had it in her to love him back?
Inuyasha would have left. In that second before she disappeared, he would have left his world to be with her even though her world had no place for him in it. In her world, he wouldn't even be a hanyou. At least, not to anyone outside Kagome's home. He would have left his world because he thought he had nothing to lose. And he was an idiot. Because he had everything to lose, except her, and Kagome knew that. Inuyasha simply wasn't alone anymore, like he had been the day Kagome found him and destroyed the sacred arrow pinning him to that godforsaken tree. Inuyasha had people who accepted him and depended on him.
So naturally, Inuyasha had decided to leave them anyway. Two years after Kagome left, Inuyasha said his goodbyes to Sango, Miroku, and Shippou. He had no intention of being away forever, he just needed to figure some things out. And it wasn't as if he didn't secretly sneak around and keep tabs on the village from time to time to make sure no one was in mortal danger, though he would never admit to doing that ever. He just needed to figure out who he was and what he was doing without the influence of stupid Sacred Jewels, insane evil, and nosy, obnoxiously concerned friends. He had told them as much. Might have yelled it a little bit. And they told him they understood, 'cause of course they did, they wanted him to do what was best for him. They were so damned supportive. But Inuyasha knew they hadn't expected him to stay away for eight years. He also just...didn't want them to see him again until he was better. And he wasn't better. He couldn't be. Shit, he was an asshole.
Beating the piss out of rowdy youkai seemed to help a little.
At first, that was all Inuyasha did. He lived in the woods alone and he welcomed the challenge of any youkai. Living in the woods now was not like it was in his younger years when all he had were his claws and teeth to fight with, always on the defense. He was stronger now, older, with Tetsusaiga at his side. He was no one's prey.
Inuyasha could take care of himself better than ever before, but he hadn't been able to stay away from the humans. Humans just...always managed to get themselves into so much shit. And it wasn't alltheir fault. Most villages were not equipped to handle youkai attacks. But if more of the humans would just focus on learning how to fight youkai rather than wasting their energies praying to the gods to save them, then maybe Inuyasha would not be all over the countryside constantly being their only saving grace who gave a damn. It just wasn't in him to ignore them anymore.
Inuyasha realized he was doing exactly what he used to do with his friends. He wasn't a complete moron. But he was doing it on his own, and he did not need anyone's help. Hewas choosing to live this life. No beads encircled his neck any longer.
Inuyasha was content to climb up this mountain to find a damn reclusive youkai or whatever it was that the humans were too afraid to take out themselves.
He did not have to go far into the creature's supposed domain before he concluded that there was something undeniably wrong with the place. He shuddered, suddenly feeling as though he had just passed through a giant spider's web. His hand shot up to wipe at his face, but there was nothing to wipe away. Everything had grown far too quiet. And his skin felt...wrong somehow. Off to a great start, then.
Inuyasha wandered, not entirely sure what he was looking for. He had been assured he would know the creature when he saw it. So far, there was nothing but rocks and trees. A few bushes. Higher rocks and higher trees.
When Inuyasha was about to start shouting, 'Heeeeere, big scary sonofabitch,' his search was met with a promising sight. Disguised from a distant view by tall, full pines was a sizeable mountain cave.
"Real original," muttered Inuyasha as he leapt up onto a rocky ledge to peer into the cave's gaping mouth. He leaned forward towards the dark interior, ears twitching, but no sound came from within. As it was still light outside, it was likely that whatever lived here was sleeping inside. Only one way to find out.
Inuyasha waltzed inside and was soon forced to veer to the right and then curve to the left down a narrow pathway. This passage already ruled out the youkai being much larger than him, if it even lived there. Either that or the thing could change its shape.
The depth of the cave was a surprise. And so was the more spacious cave belly when he finally reached it, dimly lit as it was by a low fire. Frowning, Inuyasha glanced around the clearly lived-in cave. Whoever did live here was almost certainly not home.
Assuming this place really did belong to the creature Inuyasha had been sent up there to find, it was a lot less menacing than he would have expected. Inuyasha had seen his fair share of lairs, and this one was just sad. No presentation or clear pride in being the evilest in the land. No innards smeared and ground into the rock wall. Not even a single skeleton. The place even smelled...not terrible.
The fire burned in the center of the space, partially lighting the otherwise completely dark cave. A bed of grass topped with furs was the nearest thing to the fire, and it was not an especially large bed. Against the wall were two small, neatly stacked piles of wood, the two piles serving to separate sizeable logs from sticks and bark. Seriously, organized wood. Shoved towards the back were various shabby-looking baskets of different sizes. Inuyasha crept closer to peer at some of their contents. A couple of them contained herds, some of which Inuyasha recognized as medicinal. A larger basket contained stone daggers, and it sat beside three wooden spears leaned against the wall. One basket contained dried meats, and others contained bone, flint, and wooden arrow heads. A final basket shoved furthest to the back contained only one thing: folded gray fabric. Not fur, but woven fabric. If Inuyasha's sense of smell was not confirming the demonic nature of the cave's owner, he would say he had just hunted down a human.
A stream of water trickling down through the rocks on the opposite wall of the cave brought his attention to a small pool of water on the floor. Drawn by the sweet temptation of a cool drink, Inuyasha took a couple of steps forward until something crunched beneath him, and his foot shot up, flailing a little and flinging about pieces of the shit that clung to the bottom of his foot. When he looked down at the culprits, he was met with the sinister sight of...a pile of nuts and seeds. What the hell? Inuyasha took it upon himself to kick the pile so more nuts and seeds went flying in different directions. Everything else in there was weirdly organized, and then there was just this pile of nuts on the floor?
A series of frantic squeaks were Inuyasha's only warning before something with tiny teeth and claws launched itself into his back.
"Nngeh, fuck!" Inuyasha yelled, whirling around and swiping at the air. Realizing quickly that the thing was not going to let go, he reached behind himself and grabbed the furry, squirming thing, dislodging it from his haori and hair. Huffing and squeezing hard, Inuyasha held the thing out in front of him long enough to peer into crazed little rodent eyes, and then the bastard clamped its teeth down onto the meat of his hand. Cursing bloody murder onto it and its entire family, Inuyasha flung the squirrel off before chasing it back towards the opening of the cave. "What the hell did I ever do to you?" Stopping then, Inuyasha remembered the pile of nuts and seeds he had just kicked everywhere. It was he who had started a fight with a squirrel. A squirrel. What kind of goddamn squirrel had the balls to attack a man for disturbing its nuts anyway? "Whatever, you—acorn crammer!" And now he was insulting a squirrel that had already run away. Insulting it badly.
Obviously the squirrel came here often if it had its own pile of nuts. Greedy little hoarding bastard. Inuyasha rubbed his sore, now bleeding hand. This day was steadily removing Inuyasha's ability to have rational thoughts and raising his desire to go out and smash trees until he inevitably killed something bad. Scowling, Inuyasha resolved to stick around. If the youkai lived here, it would come back and save Inuyasha the time of scenting the mountainside for it. If the squirrel was somehow the youkai in disguise, Inuyasha was going to lose his shit.
Both of Sesshomaru's arms were full of fallen branches and thin logs, which he held to his chest as he neared his dismal shelter. Very few beasts challenged him for the use of the cave; he was meant to remain alive in here, after all. So here he was, returning once again to its depths. His lower back complained a little with the time he had spent carrying the load, but it was hardly more than an annoyance. He had elected to bring as much wood with him as he could carry so he would not be forced to go out again and be drenched by the approaching rain.
At the mossy mouth of his cave a strange scent struck Sesshomaru, prickling his spine. The scent was familiar, but Sesshomaru's dulled senses did not allow him to place it. Hackles risen, Sesshomaru slowly and silently lowered his armload and crept into the darkness. He reached behind himself and pulled free the ties securing his bow to the deer hide quiver strapped to his back. When he could see the dim glow of his fire licking the tunnel walls, he slipped an arrow from his quiver and nocked it, drawing in a steady breath. No sound betrayed the presence of an intruder. It was possible the intruder had already left. If not...it lay in wait for him.
Sesshomaru darted into the spacious depths of his cave, immediately detecting movement. He raised his nocked arrow to point between the eyes of the standing figure who had dared to invade his home, his own eyes readjusting to the darkness untouched by firelight. The face he saw then, fierce and flashing gold, shocked him into stillness. And in that moment of pause, a fist connected with his jaw, throwing him backwards and into the wall, his bow and arrow clattering to the floor with him.
Stars swam in Sesshomaru's vision and his mouth tasted of blood. He could do little more than collect himself and stare disbelievingly as the last person he would have expected to see stepped further into the light and drew his sword.
Inuyasha.
An odd sense of relief threatened to bloom in his chest at the sight of a familiar face, the only evidence of his former existence he had seen in years, but it was quickly extinguished by the stark reality of the situation. For the first time in the presence of the hanyou, Sesshomaru was in an infuriatingly vulnerable state. And he was not Inuyasha's ally. Perhaps they were not the enemies they once were, he mused distantly, but there was no telling what Inuyasha would do.
What truly kept Sesshomaru silent was the knowledge that Inuyasha would not be able to free him. Not in the way that would leave Sesshomaru alive. He refused to allow the hanyou to look upon him and know what he was, who he was, when Inuyasha would be able to do nothing about it.
"Get up," commanded the hanyou with Tetsusaiga outstretched. "Even if you are a killer, I can't fight you if you don't fight back."
A humorless smile tugged at Sesshomaru's pale lips, revealing multiple long fangs. Although Inuyasha had absolutely no idea who he was, the remaining shreds of his pride forced him to stand. Though he did not advance as Inuyasha wanted him to.
"They sent you to dispose of me," answered Sesshomaru in a detached, unseeing way. This was not a question. Inuyasha was to be his executioner. Who better than his half-breed, bastard brother? There was no other being alive with more of a claim on his life.
"They did." The tip of Inuyasha's sword neared Sesshomaru's throat. "Said you were a danger to the children. Said you already ate one of 'em."
"Is that what they said?"
"You're not denying it."
"And would you believe me if I did? Mighty demon slayer?"
Inuyasha must have noticed he was being mocked because the edge of Tetsusaiga was suddenly drawing blood across his throat. Sesshomaru only tipped his head up, daring him. The pain of a fresh wound was strangely unfamiliar of late. Ever since he had been bespelled, his blood was something only an accident or another being could draw. Though he'd tried, he could not take his own life. Nor could he even administer the smallest of cuts if he intended to do so. And yet, with every scarce, idiot creature that wandered into his prison with the intent to kill, in the end, he had been unable to keep from fighting back. Perhaps, this time, he would be able to give in. And let the nightmare be finished.
"Well?" demanded Sesshomaru when all Inuyasha did was intimidate him with pressure from the blade and with a strange, intense stare. This silence and lack of bloody pummeling was very uncharacteristic of the hanyou.
"Who are you?"
Sesshomaru blinked and furrowed his naked, clammy brow. "I have no reason to reveal my identity to you."
"I think you being on the wrong end of my sword gives you a pretty damn good reason," growled Inuyasha. The hanyou's patience was wearing thin. That was more like it. "Something's felt off ever since I got here. And I'm willing to bet it's got something to do with you. There's dark energy that feels like it's coming from the ground itself. And here you are, directly in the middle of it. Are you causing it? Is it dangerous to the people down there? Tell me. Now!"
"What you are…experiencing," answered Sesshomaru with narrowed eyes and a tight jaw, "the unease, the constant suspicion that something is amiss, is what I experience each day. This wretched speck of land is cursed. I do not control it." Inuyasha let up on the pressure of the blade. One could practically see the wheels in Inuyasha's head smoking as he tried to read whether or not Sesshomaru was telling him the truth, the wretched fool. It was a wonder his tendency to delay the slaying of his enemies had not yet been the death of him.
"Why stay here, then?" asked Inuyasha with the twitch of an ear. "If it's so damned horrible." Sesshomaru could not understand why Inuyasha was continuing to press him. Did the hanyou not believe him to be a fearsome devourer of children? "There's a huge village full of humans just down the mountain. And when something looks the way you do…" Sesshomaru closed his eyes and braced himself for what his brother would say about the monstrosity before him. "Living close to humans will give every single one of them a reason to make up stories if it'll somehow make you disappear."
Sesshomaru's eyes snapped open and regarded Inuyasha with genuine surprise.
Looking entirely smug, Inuyasha withdrew and sheathed his sword before crossing his arms over his chest. "It was almost entertaining," continued Inuyasha, "listening to them go on and on about how evil a thing you are. And then it just got annoying. Bad liars talk too much and try way too hard when they want you to believe them. But soon, even bad liars get lots of idiots around them believing their tales. Funny how that always seems to happen," he said with little real humor in his voice.
With his head slightly cocked, Sesshomaru wondered just how much Inuyasha had grown up in the years he had lived under this curse. Inuyasha had, perhaps, matured. If only a little. "You believe I do not eat children, then."
"I don't remember saying that. All I'm saying is…I know what it's like for everyone to want you dead before they even know you."
Sesshomaru frowned at that before moving away from the wall he had previously been shoved into. Inuyasha's words struck him somehow and he did not like it. "You have wasted your time here, it seems. Either kill me or get out."
"I asked you why you're here."
"And I believe my business is my own."
Inuyasha sighed loudly and scratched around a flicking ear. "I really would get out of here if I were you. It'll be better for everyone." The hanyou took a few slow steps backwards before reaching the opening of the tunnel that would lead him outside. "I might just kill you if I see you around again. You might not have attacked this village. But there's still something about you that I really don't like."
And as quickly as Inuyasha had come to shatter his quiet, wretched existence, the hanyou disappeared into the shadows.
With hesitant fingertips, Sesshomaru brushed his stinging throat. They came away slick with the blood his brother had drawn. He was entirely numb as his eyes took in the contrast between his gnarled, ashy skin and the dark red fluid.
Inuyasha would not return to this place. The solitude would stretch on. Once, Sesshomaru would have found solace and relief in solitude. That simple mentality seemed a lifetime ago already.
Desperately, Sesshomaru tried not to despair. Inuyasha hadn't even possessed the decency to cut out his heart.
Eager to be rid of the ominous mountain, Inuyasha trudged back down towards the village, fully preparing to spin himself a fantastic tale of triumph in order to get that hot meal and bed he had been promised upon the completion of his task.
The beast had not been destroyed, but it had not seemed to express any interest whatsoever in the village below. Judging by the lack of evidence and any scent, humans had been nowhere near that area for quite some time. Most likely, the village was safe from, at the very least, this one measly threat out of a world full of dangers.
Inuyasha wondered if the strange youkai would heed his words and leave this place. Oddly, though it was clearly lacking in brute strength, the creature did not express fear in the face of death. If it stayed where it was, something was bound to venture up there and kill it. But that was not Inuyasha's problem. He had already spared the youkai. And he was no damn saint.
Inuyasha could feel himself moving away from the strange power that gripped the mountain, drawing closer to clean air and to where the daylight seemed almost brighter. He leapt, clearing a fallen tree.
Before his feet could reconnect with the ground, Inuyasha's vision blackened, his only warning before something wrenched his body backwards and into a boulder, cracking the stone. Slumping to the ground, Inuyasha choked, stunned as the power of the throw had sucked the wind from his lungs.
What. The ever-loving fuck.
AN:
Hello my darlings! It is I, Icy Doodles. I love you all, thank you for your interest in my new story. I hope this chapter has answered a few of your questions. Some things will be rather vague for a while, but please tell me if anything is super confusing. I love to hear your thoughts. Thank you!
