Sorry for not updating yesterday! Here's the next chapter and I'm sorry it's a little shorter than normal! All errors are my own! English is not my first language and I've been trying to catch all the errors but some slip by. Hopefully not this time though! Sorry!

P4TH


Part One: Hurt

"…I would hold you in my arms, I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done, forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wouldn't do to hear your voice again
Sometimes I wanna call you but I know you won't be there

Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you

Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I miss
And it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this, ooh

Would you tell me I was wrong? Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me? Are you proud of who I am?
There's nothing I wouldn't do to have just one more chance
To look into your eyes and see you looking back…"

~ "Hurt" –Christina Aguilera

Six Months Later…

"You look old," Derek said hugging Mark Sloan in the cafeteria at Seattle Grace. He'd been surprised when Mark had called saying he'd be in town for a conference and wanted to meet up. They hadn't said goodbye on the best of terms when Derek had left New York. He'd left the hospital and had only called once to see if Lexie was alright and even then he'd only talked to a nurse who had told him about the miscarriage Lexie had suffered as a result of the trauma. Even after that he'd never called Mark or Lexie to give his condolences or ask how they were. He'd been too afraid of seeing or talking to Addison.

Mark gave a firm hug back and chuckled, "I'm still hot though."

"Is that what Lexie tells you so you sleep better night?" Derek joked.

"She tells me that after passionate sex," Sloan grinned as they sat down at a cafeteria table.

Derek winced but smirked, "Not the image I needed. Especially when I have surgery after this."

"How do you like it here?" Sloan asked before taking his coffee and gulping the burning, hot liquid down.

Derek shrugged, "It's a good hospital. I like my co-workers."

"You have the hot intern as your mistress too. Liked the email. I had to deleted so Lexie wouldn't see it," Mark grinned, "Now correct me if I'm wrong but she doesn't know you're married, right?"

"Way to just kill the moment."

Sloan leaned back in his chair and looked at Derek amused, "You know, if I was dating Lexie and she found out that I was married to another woman, she'd probably have the biggest freak out to date. Worse than that freak out she had in med school when she thought she failed her psych classes. You remember that? She gave herself an asthma attack because she was having a panic attack and couldn't breathe. Then when I got her calmed down you told her that she'd get kicked out of medical school and she freak out all over again."

Derek smiled, "I did not do anything wrong. Anyways, you married her so I guess that hypothetical crisis you started off with was averted. You actually married Lexie and settled down. I'm impressed with you."

"Yeah well, I'm not exactly impressed with you. What are you going to do about your hot intern? What if Addison shows up looking for you to sign divorce papers?"

"Addison won't. She's more preoccupied with Lexie," Derek defended.

"Right…because she's spending time with Lexie," Mark said sarcastically and the air between them became frosty. There was a long pause and Derek shifted uncomfortably. Using what had happened to Lexie as an excuse had been unfair and inappropriate.

"How is she?" Derek asked after a few minutes, "I'm sorry I left you when you both needed me the most. Just hearing that Addison was…I'm sorry."

"She's been having more good days then bad. She lost our baby when Ezitka shot her. For the most part she's been recovering but she refuses to go downstairs to the basement. If she needs something she just tells me where it's at and I go get it," Mark sighed, "In regards to what happened with Addison, if anything it was my fault. I shouldn't have blurted out what was happening. But I just saw Lexie laying there and somehow I thought that if I revealed what was happening with Addison...it would be just one less thing Lexie had to worry about. You found out, ran away. Addison has been a mess and Lexie has been slowly recovering."

"It's been nearly six months," Derek said, "It's good that she's recovering."

"Do you honestly think that either of us will recover from what happened in six months? It will take years for Lexie to recover. I doubt she'll ever go in any basement again. I hired a maid to come in and run the washing machine and dryer because Lexie is petrified of going down stairs and I don't have time to do laundry."

"I'm sorry," Derek told Sloan while shaking his head, "I saw that Ezitka was sentenced to life without any chance of getting out."

"He should have gotten the death penalty," Mark said quietly, "He killed two people. My mother-in-law and my unborn child but instead he gets a cushy cell in upstate New York. My child's birthday would have been around this time of the year. I could have been a father right now to some little boy or girl. Every time I pass a park or look out at my backyard all I can think of is that little kid I'm never going to get to hold or play with. I'm never gonna get to cheer that kid on at a soccer game or clap at a piano recital. I keep thinking if this is how I feel, Lexie has to feel a thousand times worse. She keeps blaming herself for going to Jenny's aid. It's been hard to convince her she's not to responsible for any of this. I keep telling her but I doubt the message has sunken in yet."

Derek nodded but didn't say anything. There wasn't much he could say to Mark. Nothing was going to take away his pain and Lexie's suffering.

"Did you ever think about coming out here? Moving to Seattle? I think Lexie would like the change. It would help her," Derek finally suggested, "Both of you actually. Richard Webber has been looking for a new head for plastics and we're one of the best teaching hospitals in the country. I'm sure I can convince Webber to let Lexie into the program."

Mark nodded, "I'll think about it and talk to Lexie. She's the decision maker."

Derek grinned, "You're so whipped."

"Don't tell anyone," Mark grinned back, "To be honest; I'm okay with her being in charge. It's kinda hot."


"Who were you having coffee with?" Meredith asked as she walked with him down the hall towards surgery. They were doing a craniotomy later after lunch and Derek wanted to pick up some papers before they went out to lunch and returned for the operation.

"Huh?" he asked distractedly as he thought about everything that Sloan and Lexie had gone through. They had lost a child because of a drunken man and a gun. He could feel their pain in away and understood the blame that Lexie could feel. He felt the same way about his own father sometimes. If only things had gone differently. If only he'd done something differently, maybe his father would still be alive. Mark was right. It would take many years to get over what had happened.

"Derek? Your coffee date? Who was he?" Meredith asked again bring him out of his thoughts.

"What?"

"Who was he?" Meredith pressed again with a small smile, "The guy you were having coffee with?"

Derek pushed the door open to his office and walked in. Meredith followed looking at him questioningly as Derek flipped through his desk looking for papers.

"So?"

"So? What?" Derek said sounding distracted again as he shuffled papers on his desk. He uncomfortable and nervous as he hoped that she'd drop the subject. He didn't want the whole Addison issue to blow up in his face especially now when things were beginning to look up for him and Meredith.

"Who was he?" Meredith asked again sounding irritated that he was ignoring her on purpose.

"A friend from New York, his name is Mark Sloan."

"As in plastics god Mark Sloan? The Sloan they fly all over the country to do face transplants?"

"Yeah, he's a friend of mine from New York. When I was living there I was best friends with him and his wife. He was here for that ENT conference and stopped to say hello," Derek replied looking up at her, "Do you want his social security number too? Home address? I can give you his wife's number and you can call her and ask what it's like being married to a plastics god. I'm sure she'd love to chat about his inflated ego."

Meredith smiled and rolled her eyes at his teasing, "The nurses think he's hot. The minute he walked in her they started talking."

"The nurses should know he's taken," Derek said looking up at Meredith as he rambled on hoping that could talk her into changing the subject, "She's a wonderful woman and don't think Mark Sloan would ever willingly cheat on her. She did a one eighty on him and his life. I can't even remember the old Mark Sloan now that there's this new one. She's a gem and I think you'd like her. Better tell the nurses that he's taken before they get their panties in a twist."

"I'm not surprised," Meredith grinned as she walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck, "The cute ones always are taken. But you are the gem that I found and I plan on keeping for a very long time. Ready for lunch?"

Derek tried not to wince at her words. He was married and he could here Mark laughing in his head about the irony of Meredith's words.


"You want to do what?" Lexie asked as she stood in the master bedroom of their brownstone home near central park staring at Mark like he'd just sprouted a second head.

"Let's move to Seattle," Mark said again as he laid in the center of their bed with his arm over his eyes, "It would be good for both of us. Richard Webber is looking for a new head of plastics and they have one of the best surgical programs in the country. Plus they have ferryboats. You'd love ferryboats. Derek loves ferryboats."

Lexie raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms over her chest, "How long have we been together?"

"Eight years," Mark replied automatically as he leaned back on his elbows.

"Have I ever once said that I like Ferryboats?" Lexie questioned, "I'm trying to remember the last time I even saw a ferryboat. I don't like them."

"No but you never know," Sloan said quickly, "You could like them. You know...grow to like them...in Seattle."

"Mark, do you have any idea how much we would have to do in order to move to Seattle?" Lexie sighed, "We'd have to pack, find somewhere to live, sell this place. The list goes on. I'm not sure I'm ready to do that. I just got through with physical therapy and it just seems so overwhelming right now to even think about ."

"Lexie we can easily hire people to do that," Mark told her as he patted the bed next to him, "Come here."

She sighed again and came to lay down next to him on the bed. Wrapping an arm around his waist, Lexie rested her forehead against his neck as snuggled close to him.

"I'm not going to make you do anything that is too vigorous or exhausting. If you don't feel up to it, that's fine. I will completely forget the idea. I just thought that it would be a change and change can be good," he told her quietly as he wrapped his arms around her. Lexie laid with her eyes closed for a few minutes as she just let herself relax in Mark's arms. It was the safest place in the world to her. When she was in Mark Sloan's arms it was like all her problems went away. The world slipped away from her and she could just breathe. He didn't push her or anything. She'd never realized how big of a hugger Mark Sloan was until she'd moved in with him. He was the biggest cuddler that she knew. Not that Lexie ever complained but she knew that Mark was a physical person and every hug, kiss and cuddle was his way of telling her that he loved her so much. The more she laid in his arms and thought about Seattle, the more the idea grew on her.

"Ferryboats aren't that bad are they?" Lexie said after a near half hour of silence, "They also have Starbucks, right?"

Mark chuckled and pulled her close, "See? Seattle is not bad at all."


"Derek is seeing an intern?!"

Sloan looked quickly up from the medical journal he'd been reading on the couch a few weeks later in their nearly empty living room. Lexie stood in the walkway between the living room and kitchen holding his phone and looking at him with a raised eyebrow. Mark was instantly up from the couch and walking over to her.

"Give me that," he said yanking the phone out of her hand, "That's private! Why are you reading my messages?"

"Are we moving to Seattle because of a job or because you want to be closer to Derek and whoever the hell M is?" Lexie snapped as she ignored his question.

"A job obviously and your internship," Sloan insisted, "Jesus. You think I'd move across the country to just listen to Derek bitch about his sex life? No, this move is for a job."

Lexie raised eyebrow, "A job? Really? I have a hard time believing that now. Especially after the fact you didn't even mention this new girlfriend of his or whatever. What will Addison say when she finds out?"

"I didn't think it was relevant," Mark said and quickly regretted his words as Lexie's eyebrow went even higher and her hands went to her hips, "Besides, Addison won't find out."

She stared at him for a few minutes before shaking her head and muttering the word 'unbelievable' under her breath. She walked to the hallway and grabbed her coat. Mark heard the front door close and looked up at the high ceiling.

"You just had to do that to me didn't you?" he said out loud to no one in particular. Grabbing a card board box, Mark made his way upstairs to pack his office. Almost everything had been packed accept the closets. Tossing the box down on the cleared desk top and going to the door, Mark opened the door and he stopped. A black Elle Saab sequenced dress hung on the back of the door. Memories came racing back of the night that had changed every. Mark sat down to just stare at it as memories passed over his mind.

A fundraiser was being held at a fancy hotel in the upper east side of Manhattan. Mark rested his arm on the back of Addison's chair as she engaged in an animated conversation with Mrs. Shepard about some new procedure she'd done earlier. Her dark red hair was piled on top of her head in curls and she wore a tight purple dress that showed off her curves. Mark turned and looked at his own date. An interior designer, Jenna Bentley was a blond bombshell with no personality and wore an expression that he interpreted as being bored. He'd been introduced to her by a friend and he was secretly regretting her being his date. The night was turning out to be horrible.

"I'm sure Lexie would be just fascinated by it."

Mark jerked his head and looked at Mrs. Shepard who smiled, "She's so interested in everything."

He resisted the urge to say anything. They'd broken up a month ago. He'd gotten scared and had used the excuse of age. She was too young for him and wasn't ready for what he wanted. It had been a complete lie and the heartbreaking look on her face almost made him fess up then and there that he was scared. He was scared of ruining the one good thing he'd ever had. He always seemed to ruin his own happiness. He was his own biggest sabotage to his happiness at the end of the day and he didn't want to break her like he broke every other good thing in his life. So he'd told her that he was too old for her. He was now an attending physician and she was in her final semester of her junior year of college. They were too different.

"Who's Lexie?" Jenna asked picking up her wine glass. Her question brought him out of his thoughts as he looked around the table.

"An old friend of mine," Addison said quickly with a smile, "She's like the little sister I've always wanted."

"What does she look like?" Jenna pressed with an arched brow, "Her name sounds familiar."

Mrs. Shepard quickly took out a picture of Lexie and gave it to Jenna, "She's a darling! I think of her as one of my own girls. She my littlest baby!"

Jenna looked at the picture before she turned to look at him with a raised eyebrow, "Her picture is in your apartment. She's your ex I'm assuming."

Mark nodded before turning and glaring at Addison, "It's been over for a while."

"Don't look at my wife like that," Derek said kicking him under the table with a grin, "It's not their fault you still have a picture of your ex-girlfriend laying around."

"So...is that Lexie over there?" Jenna asked and all their heads jerked over to where she was pointing. They could only see her back but Mark knew it was her. He'd kissed her body enough times to be familiar with the mole on her shoulder blade as she walked towards a table. The back of the dress was open in a 'u' shape and a small amount of fabric pooled at the bottom and dragged behind on the floor. A tall man with dark blond hair stood up and leaned down to kiss her cheek when she'd reached the table. She was beautiful in the dress. Her hair was in an elegant bun at the base of her neck and he could see her dress glimmered in the low lighting.

He clenched his fist when the man pulled a chair out and helped her to sit down. The man pressed his lips to the shell of her ear as he whispered something. Lexie turned to look at the man but instead she turned to over her shoulder and looked directly at him. For a moment everything stopped. Her smoky eyes connected with his and he felt like she was looking inside him for a moment. He hadn't forgotten her in a month and all the old feelings he'd had for her came rushing to the surface. He wanted her on his arm in that dress. He wanted the men who were looking at her to look at them and know that she was the girlfriend of expert plastic surgeon Mark Sloan. He wanted to be the one man she looked at all night. He just wanted to be the man who loved her. It was all he wanted. The ache in his chest worsened as the blond man touched her hand on the table and brought it to his lips. Lexie quickly turned back to him and Mark could in the mirrored wall her smile light up. The man whispered something in her ear again as his hand touched her back intimately.

"I'm going to the bar," Mark announced quickly, "Does anyone want anything?"

Everyone at the table but Derek answered with a no.

"I'll join you. Refill Addie?" Derek asked as he reached for her nearly empty glass. Derek didn't even let her reply as he grabbed her gin and tonic. He followed Mark to the bar. Mark didn't even care that his friend was following him. Seeing Lexie with another man was killing him inside. He didn't think it would hurt as much as it did. The dull ache that had been inside him since Lexie had walked out of his apartment door flared to life even more than usual.

"Scotch," Mark demanded before turning back to watch Lexie, "Who the hell is the dick she's with?"

Derek smiled and set Addison's drink down, "Alexander Johan, he's a Swedish crime writer. Very famous over in Scandinavia. Gin and tonic."

"Swedish crime writer? She's going out with a crime writer?"

"My mother set them up," Derek said with a grin, "Apparently she insisted that Lexie get out. I guess this was her idea."

"Don't look so damn happy about it," Mark snapped as the bartender set his scotch down, "What's there to be happy about?"

"Is jealousy I detect?" Derek grinned even more.

"No."

"You're regretting you're decision to leave her."

"No," Sloan insisted, "I'm not."

"Yes you are. You've been miserable since you left her and it sucks because she's not mourning you like you're mourning her. Go after her Mark. Girls like Lexie don't come around very often and you want her. Screw the age thing. It's just a number. You said that yourself. She loves you and if you can honestly stand here and tell me that you don't love her and came walk away from everything then I'll drop the subject. I promise but if you love her...go after her. Don't let the love of your life slip away. Don't let Lexie be the one that got away Mark because no one will ever make you as happy as she can."

Mark looked over to see Lexie smiling halfheartedly at something the man had said and he knew at that moment that he could never let her go…

"I never really liked that dress. Addison and I went shopping with Derek's mother. They picked it out but I always thought it was too low cut in the back."

Mark looked up from where he'd lost himself in the memory and smiled. Lexie walked over to the comfy chair that he'd sat down in and sat on his lap. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and he pulled her tightly against him.

"I like that dress," Mark said in a serious tone, "I like that dress for what it means. It always reminds me of Derek's words. He told me that if I live without you and push all the feelings I have aside then he would drop bugging me about you. He made me think about a life without you and how letting the woman who is the love of my life slip away would be a mistake."

Lexie rested her forehead against the side of his neck, "I love you."

Mark pressed his lips to hers briefly and they were both silent for a few minutes before Lexie spoke up.

"I'm sorry for what I said earlier," she told him softly, "I'm just…"

"Just what?" Mark said looking down at her with concern, "Tell me."

"It's just been overwhelming lately and I snapped and I'm sorry," Lexie told him as she played with one of the buttons on his shirt.

"You're not feeling any pains or discomforts?" Mark asked quickly ready in the back of his mind to give her whatever she needed.

Lexie had had a rough recovery and he was still worried that she'd suffer a relapse. One of the bullets had nearly paralyzed her and it had taken her three months to learn how to walk again. He didn't want her to see her in pain or frustrated because she couldn't things.

"Not really."

"Not really?" he questioned, "Talk to me Lexie. What's wrong?"

"You're gonna think this is so childish."

"No I'm not. Tell me," he said softly as he brushed a piece of hair behind her ears.

"I'm afraid of leaving all our friends behind. I don't want to be the new kid, I guess."

Mark couldn't help himself and he laughed, "Sweetheart you'll be fine. Trust me."


March 28...

Lexie looked around the intern locker room nervously. Mark had come back to New York with the insane idea of moving to Seattle with Derek. At first she'd just laughed it off but soon realized that he was serious. He'd tendered his resignation to the hospital, put their house up on the market and had begun packing things and sorting what they were going to take and what they'd leave behind. There had been a brief argument about her own internship but somehow both he and Derek had pulled some strings and had gotten her into Seattle Grace's program. Everything she'd completed in New York was transferring to Seattle Grace and miraculously it went off without a hitch. Braiding her hair back quickly, she turned to look at the guy next to her and smiled feeling like that new kid in high school again. Most everyone here already had had friends and their own little groups.

"I'm Lexie," she said offering her hand out. He was tall with dark hair and looked cocky.

"Alex," he said not taking her hand or looking at her. He slammed the locker shut and walked away.

"Don't mind him," a soft voice said from behind her.

Lexie turned to see a shorter man standing next to her. He had dark hair and seemed so sweet that she couldn't help but smile.

"George O'Malley," he said offering his hand, "You are?"

"Lexie Grey," she smiled and shook his offered hand, "I'm new here. So…today's my first day."

"Another Grey, that's cool. Both you and Meredith have the same last name. Are you guys related?"

"I've never met Meredith," Lexie said uncomfortably but continued on, "I'm hoping you could help me. I'm supposed to be an intern for Doctor Miranda Bailey. I was hoping you knew where I could find her."

George grinned, "You're with me. She's my resident too. Come on. You can meet Meredith, Izzy and the gang."


"How's the first day going?" Derek asked setting his tray down across from Mark in the cafeteria.

"I hate interns," Mark said bluntly, "Bunch of kiss asses."

Derek grinned as he picked up his apple, "I like mine."

"You're happy because you get to boss my wife around all day knowing that when she comes home she'll be in a mood and I'm bound to get yelled at for something. You're enjoying this way too much Shepard."

"Does she always use her maiden name?" Derek asked amused.

Mark nodded as he picked at his salad, "Something about not being called Doctor Sloan…I don't know. Personally I think she's a sexy Sloan. I think being called Doctor Sloan suits her well. She's Sloan on everything else. Her credit card says Sloan, checks, bills...everything but the lab coat. Hell, even her diploma says Lexie C. Sloan. I'm a little offended she isn't using my last name. I mean, we introduce ourselves as the Sloan's all the time. We even sign cards Mark and Lexie Sloan."

Derek shook his head and chuckled, "You have been married for years and yet you act like a newlywed. Why are you so desperate for her to be known as a Sloan?"

"What can I say? I've got no kids, a hot wife and I'm one of the best plastic surgeons in the country," Mark shrugged, "Sue me for being happy and wanting the world to know who the hell I married. Besides, I told you. Lexie is a sexy Sloan. She should own it."

"Tell me that this evening when you're getting yelled at for something," Derek grinned, "Besides, there's a bet between me and Webber about how fast it takes the whole hospital to figure out that Lexie is your wife. Maybe once everyone knows Lexie will become a Sloan again."


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