Chapter 2! :D ... reviews would really help me! I wanna know how im doing!
Peeta gives me a genuine smile and backs away from the couch. "Katniss come on out, I'm not going to hurt you." He's treating me like a child now. So I do come out from underneath the blankets. I get up, go right over to him and reply, "Get away from me," I tried to say it in what I thought was a scary voice. After I just casually walk up the stairs, into the bathroom, and I slam the door to add the effect. Wait. What did I just do? I put my head in my hands and slide down the wall into a sitting position. The guy comes over after years of not seeing me and I just turn him away. I don't know what comes over me. I'm a terrible person that's what's wrong. I don't deserve the life I have. I don't deserve to be alive, I don't deserve him, I don't deserve anything.
I figured I might as well shower while I lock myself in here. I turn on the water and step in. After washing my hair, I realize how much water actually does calm me. It reminds me of my father, and how he taught me to swim in the little lake found in the forest. I choose to scrub my body next. I hate looking at my scars though. It reminds me of what the capitol put me through. It reminds me how they killed my sister, my father, Rue, Cinna, and the list could go on and on. They forgot to kill one person though. Me. Why would they leave me of all people? What did I do to get the privilege to live while everyone else died?
I've thought about doing it before. No one would miss me or honestly care. I stare at the razor that could easily end everything. The next thing I know a drop of red finds its way to the water filling at the bottom of the tub. More and more red is taking over the water. I'm in pain but I can't remember why. "KATNISS, ARE YOU OKAY?" A voice yells to me from downstairs. More blood splatters the water as the voice comes closer, "Are you alright? You've been in there a long time. Please just come out. I want to talk to you. To explain myself. Just please co-" That's the last thing I remember hearing as I looked down to find the red as the black took over my sight.
" 'Are you, are you, Coming to the tree? Where they strung up a man they say murdered three. Strange things did happen here, No stranger would it be, if we met up at midnight in the hanging tree. Are you, are you Coming to the tree? Where the dead man called out for his love to flee. Strange things did happen here, No stranger would it be. If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree.'
'You like that song don't you?'
'Yes, daddy… I do. I like when you sing to me'
'Yeah, I too baby girl... Oh! Shhh! You see that deer over there Katniss?'
'Yes'
'Pull back your bow, and shoot'
'Are you sure?'
'I know you can do it'
*SWOOSH*
'DADDY! I did it!'
'I know you could darlin, I know you could.'"
"Daddy?"
"Katniss?" My eyes shoot open. I finally realize my father is not with me anymore. It was just a good dream about my father. Good. That's not a word I've used in a while. The only problem with the dream was the fact it was a dream full of different emotions trying to all come out at once.
The first things I notice are the bandages on my arms. Next I feel my head and find out that has been wrapped too. The next thing I realize is the absence of my father. Now I get to the conclusion it was a dream. I try to turn my head to the side but my body aches. There's movement in the bed beside me and suddenly blue eyes focus on mine. "I'm sorry, I'll leave now. I just, I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Haymitch is going to stay over and make sure nothing bad happens through the night. Before I leave though, I just want you to know I'm different now. Even more different from before. I'm more normal now. I'm the old me again, and I want you to know, I'm still always going to have the need to protect you, because we protect each other and that's what I want to do for you, cause you did it for me an-"
"Peeta, you're rambling."
"I know. It's just. I want to talk to you and I need you to hear me out."
"I'm not busy now"
"Katniss, it's one in the morning."
"By the looks of it, it doesn't look like you will be falling asleep anytime soon, and I don't sleep. So I think we both have the time. Now begin all this 'explaining' you keep talking about."
"Okay… So first, I want you to know I never wanted to leave you. I wanted to make things work between us. I really did, but the night you told me all of those awful things, I knew you meant them, and I knew you didn't want me. What I didn't realize was that you were still broken. I didn't remember that you had been in pain too. I was being selfish and I knew I should have never left. Second, I want you to know that while I was gone I traveled to the capitol. The new government is much better than the old one, and the leaders ensure the districts will never be how bad they were before. I got more treatment there, and the new programs they had developed are much more advanced now. They reversed the hijacking and I'm good as new. I have all of my memories, and feelings, and thoughts back. The only thing missing from the old me is you. And I know this sounds really sappy, and kind of like a love sick puppy, but I still love you. I will do anything for you. I will always protect you and care for you. Just like I was sick, you're sick, and I'm going to help you get better again. Even if you turn me down, time after, time after, time, I'm going to be there. Always." The last word is what broke me. I started to cry, and he just held me. It seemed like we sat there for hours. After my violent sobs stopped, he still sat there cradling me, whispering the occasional, "shhhh."
"Peeta?"
"Yes, Katniss?"
"You didn't leave because I was a monster?"
"No." He laughs at me using the word monster. "I was going to tell you I had to go away for a couple months for treatment anyway but, when we fought that night, I was convinced you would be happy if I just never came back."
"Oh, well please just don't ever leave again. Okay?"
"Okay."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
"Good." That's the final word said before I cuddle into his shoulder and close my eyes. He starts to shift, thinking I have fallen asleep, and tries to get out of the room.
"Peeta?" I whispered loudly.
"What's wrong Katniss? Are you alright?"
"You said you would never leave"
"I know. I'm just going to my house; I'll still be in district twelve in the morning."
"I mean, you can stay here… if you want to"
"Are you sure you're ready for that?"
"Believe it or not, I did miss you."
"I know you did."
"You did?"
"Oh yeah. Haymitch missed me, so I was sure you did too." He gives me the cutest grin I've ever seen. Wait. I just used the word cute. Involving Peeta. I haven't said a good word about anyone, really, since Peeta left. Maybe me becoming better, is just me being with him. He makes me feel better. About life and about myself.
"Can you just please stay the night." Now I sound like I'm begging.
"Okay," He whispers, "I'll stay."
