The day's last one-way ticket train pulls in
We smile for the casual closure capturing
There goes the downpour
There goes my fare thee well
There's really no way to reach me
'Cause I'm already gone
There's so many words that we can say
Spoken upon long-distance melody
This is my hello
This is my goodness
There's really no way to reach me
'Cause I'm already gone
Maybe in five or ten yours and mine will meet again
Straighten this whole thing out
Maybe then honesty need not be feared as a friend or an enemy
But this is the distance
And this is my gameface

Vienna – The Fray

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight

I looked everywhere for Emmett. I looked in the hallway, I looked in his room, I even searched the backyard but I couldn't find him anywhere. Something like ice wrapped itself around my heart. We lived in a really big house, and I understood that there was a lot of space between each room. That meant that I was alone most of the time. But where could Emmett go? He had promised he would never leave me alone in this big house. I would go crazy if I was left alone in the house. Although, I think that Emmett wouldn't be outside, it was raining, as it does in London 363 days out of the year and Emmett hated the rain. At least when he wasn't in his car or in the house where he was safe from the rain.

I decided to go into the living room because that was the last place to check before I officially accepted that Emmett left me alone in the house. When I was right around the corner, I heard a noise in the living room and I rushed in to see a guy in a black hoodie, standing in the middle of the room.

"Emmett!" I yelled in frustration. I looked everywhere for him and here he was dressed like a cat burglar for some reason.

He turned around to look at me.

"Oh, hey Bells," he said, giving me his dimpled smile.

"Don't you 'Hey, Bells' me."

"What happened? What did I do now?" Emmett asked. He hung his head. He was upset, like I had accused him of not being a good brother. That could never happen. Emmett was the best brother any girl could ever ask for.

"It's nothing, I just thought that you left to go somewhere and left me alone in the house," I said. I sighed and sat down on the couch. The fire was burning in the fireplace and I could smell the burning wood. I didn't remember if we had a fireplace in our house back home. I didn't remember anything about our house back home. It was all blurry.

"Isabella Marie Swan, you know I would never leave you alone," Emmett said.

"Yeah, I know. So what were you doing before I came in here and yelled at you for no apparent reason?" I asked. I lay down on the couch and looked up at the ceiling, which was also made of glass. I could see the rain beating against it.

"Oh, nothing, I was just cleaning."

I blinked a couple of time and turned to stare at him. After a while he looked uncomfortable.

"What?" Emmett asked.

"You were doing what?" I asked with a laugh.

"Cleaning," Emmett said like it was most natural thing in the world. Well, I guess it was but not for him. So I did what felt natural to me. I laughed out loud and after a while Emmett joined in. He sat down on the floor with his back against the couch.

"No, seriously," Emmett said.

"What bought on this unusual happening? Is the world coming to an end?" I asked, turning my head to look at the falling rain again.

"Um…Mom and Dad told me to clean up everything if I want to take it back with me," Emmett said.

"Oh," I said. What else was there to say? I didn't want to talk about this anymore. It was all I could think about despite the fact that I didn't want to think about it. I had no control over my life and I hated that more than anything. Anyone could make me do anything and I would just follow like the fool I was.

"Bella, you need to forget about it. Nothing is going to happen to you, not while I am around, I promise," Emmett said in his serious brother voice. I hated that voice. It meant that I couldn't take care myself. Worse, it reminded me of the things I didn't want to think about. I know that if I was left alone, I would be swallowed up by memories.

So I sighed and turned to look at Emmett, who was now looking at me. I gave him my best smile.

"Let's just order a pizza and enjoy our last night in London," I said.

"Uh…"

"What now?" I asked. I tried not to sound frustrated. I didn't like being angry with him.

"I was actually hoping that we could go and get the pizza," Emmett said in a small voice.

"Sure," I said. I was happy to be getting a chance to get out of the house. I was tired of being locked up inside anyway. I felt like the walls were moving in on me and I couldn't do anything to stop them but stand there and wait for my imminent death.

"Great, we'll take my car," Emmett said jumping up. He walked out of the room and I sat up on the couch. I looked around the living room. I had spent seven years in this house; that's half my life and tomorrow, it would be all gone. I will have to start anew again. Make new friends; live in a new—sort of—house. Yes, London didn't have good memories but neither did Beverly Hills.

"Bells, are you coming?" Emmett asked, bringing me out of my thoughts. I looked at him and nodded. I turned off the lights as I walked out of the living room.

I drove a Mini Copper and Emmett drove a jeep. The only reason we took his car whenever we went somewhere together was because he thought he would get stuck in my car. I mean, seriously it wasn't that small but my brother was that big. I was afraid that he would break my car if he got stuck in it.

I slammed the front door shut behind me and followed Emmett to his car. The rain had stopped but mist was still falling out of the sky. I hadn't bothered to lock the house because even if someone decided to rob us, I didn't care. I didn't have anything to lose. I got in the car with Emmett and we drove off. As I looked out the window and watched London pass by, I wasn't sure if I was going to miss it or not. I didn't have any friends at school; everyone thought that I was a freak; something that I might have helped them realize.

But I wasn't a freak; it's just that I couldn't find it in myself the power to get close to people, period. Of course, that entitled me 'as the freak who never talked to anyone'. I was okay with it. I mean, I didn't care.

Emmett shook my arm and I turned my head to look at him, a little befuddled. But happy for the intrusion, I didn't want my thoughts to lead me anywhere I didn't feel safe or protected.

"What do you want to listen to?" Emmett asked, playing with the radio.

"Are you asking me this because you care or because I am your little sister?" I asked.

"The second one but if you want to listen to something, go ahead," Emmett said. I smiled.

"I'm good, just don't choose anything too loud," I said. But before he could choose a radio station I put on my favourite one. Emmett raised his eyebrows at me but I shrugged and gave him a cheeky smile. My favourite song started playing and I started singing along with it.

When we finally got to the pizza place, I looked around the parking lot for any familiar car from school. There were none, so I got out. I followed Emmett to the store and stopped at the door. We came here often so we had a usual table where we liked to sit but there was already someone sitting there. A girl with long blonde hair falling down her back in gentle waves, looking like she had walked off a movie set and an equally hot blonde guy sat next to her. He had a medium build, unlike my brother who looked like a wrestler. But he was a total softy at heart and that's what I loved about him. Unfortunately, right now he was in big trouble.

"Emmett, you know what, I don't feel like going in there and eating. Let's just get it to go," I said. I feigned tiredness and it wasn't that hard. With all the emotional baggage I carried, I was always tired.

"Aw, Bellie, it's good to eat out once in a while but I guess, if you really want to go home than we can get it to go," Emmett said.

"Great and anyways, our table is already taken," I said, pointing through the window. Emmett looked like I had caught him red-handed, which I had. He should have told me that he had invited them. I was so not prepared to do this right now.

"Yeah, about that, since it's our last night I thought I'll call Rose and Jazz to spend it with us," Emmett explained. I could tell that he didn't want to leave Rose or even tell her about the move.

"I know, I just…it's just that…I don't know, I don't think I can tell Jazz about this. He is my only best friend besides you and Mom," I said. I was sad; I wasn't going to hide it. I wasn't completely sure whether Jasper would be glad that I was leaving. I'm sure even he must be tired of all the emotional baggage I carried around. But then again, he was my best friend and I had never told him about anything. I didn't tell him why we moved to London or why I never talked to anyone but him. I could never let him in and that got to him. Yet, I think he understood to some extent but who knew. I still called him my best friend and whenever I needed to talk to someone in the middle of the night, he was the first person I called.

Jasper was in college, just like Rosalie and Emmett, so he didn't go to school with me and even though I was happy about that, sometimes I wished that he did, just so I would have someone to talk to. I got really lonely sometimes.

"If you want, I can do all the talking," Emmett said pulling me out of my train of thought. I seemed to get lost in it so often.

I nodded and sighed.

The doorbell jingled when Emmett pushed open the door, announcing our arrival. Jasper and Rosalie looked up from their table and came over to us. Rosalie walked straight towards Emmett and they started making out. Those two were shameless; they didn't care where they were or who was around them. They just went at it like horny teenagers. Plus, I think they were violating the health code or something. Usually, I stopped them but tonight, I just let them go at it. It was their last night together.

"Hey, Bella, how you doin'? Jasper asked. I stifled a laugh. Whenever he said that, he sounded like Joey from Friends because that was Joey's catchphrase.

Even though Jasper was my best friend, I hated that whenever I was upset he tried to cheer me up by using lame pick-up lines. Like the ones he used on the girls he dated for about a week and then dumped them. I don't exactly blame him; he didn't have a very good experience with the girl he thought he loved.

In my life, ignorance is bliss. As long as I don't pay too much attention to anything or anyone, I am fine.

"Jasper, stop, I am not in the mood for your fake flirting," I said. I walked over to our table and sat down. Jasper followed after me.

"Why do always think it is fake flirting? Can't I flirt with you because I like you?" Jasper asked. I opened my mouth to tell Jasper to not even go there. I had loved my old best friend and he hated me now. I couldn't lose Jasper for the same reason. And even if Jasper loved me, I didn't think that I could return that feeling. But before I could get that out, Rosalie spoke up.

"Stay away from her, you're lucky she wants to be you friend and you should be happy with what you're getting."

"Welcome back. I think you two violated a health code there," I said. Rose and Emmett sat down across from Jasper and I.

"There are no health codes when you're in love," Emmett said giving Rose a kiss on the cheek. I rolled my eyes.

"I hope you have the same attitude when we are kicked out of here," Jazz said. I threw him a smile. Rose ignored that comment and instead turned to me. She asked me why I was looking so sad and I turned to look at Emmett unsure if we were going to tell them before or after we ate. I thought that we should just get it over with; you know do it quickly like a Band-Aid.

"Um…listen, we have something to tell you guys. It's going to be hard, believe me I know but you have to listen and remember that we don't have any choice," Emmett said but he was only looking at Rose. It must be so hard for him. He really truly loved Rosalie.

"Just do it quickly, the longer you take to say it the more it's going to hurt," I said, frustrated. I didn't like this whole 'we don't have a choice' talk. I know that we don't have a choice; I don't want to parade it in front of everyone. If I had a choice I would rather stay here with Rosalie and Jasper than move next in next to him.

Emmett turned to look at me with anger. He wanted to do it slowly but I was having none of that. I wasn't going to sit here and listen to him beat around the bush. I'd already gone over it once and I wasn't about to go over it again. It was happening.

"Jazz, Rose, we're moving back to Beverly Hills," I said looking at both of them. They just stared at me with wide eyes.

"See what've done? They've gone into shock," Emmett said. He patted Rose's cheek to bring her back to life. I saw realization slowly dawn on Jasper's face.

"What?" Jasper yelled. Everyone in the restaurant turned to look at our table and I blushed under all the attention.

"Would you calm down? Yelling is not going to get us anywhere. The decision's been made and apparently there is nothing we can do now except move back. We leave tomorrow morning, our things are already packed," Emmett said. Rose—who always held perfect composure—looked like she was about to burst out crying. I reached across the table and placed my hand over hers. I knew how she felt. I also had to leave behind the love of my life once.

"How come you didn't say anything before?" Jasper asked.

"We didn't know anything before. Our mother packed up everything and she told us this tonight," I said. It was so unfair of our parents to just spring this on us out of the blue. I thought that we were finally moving past everything that had happened. Didn't they realize what it meant for Emmett and me to leave behind Rosalie and Jasper? I tear rolled down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away before any one of them saw.

I guess until now I had thought that it was just a bad dream and it would go away but it wouldn't. I will have to live next to live him and pretend that everything was okay when everything was not okay. This isn't right. Rosalie came and sat down next to me and Jasper took Rose's vacated seat beside Emmett. Rose put her hand on my arm.

"Let's just order and try to enjoy our last night together," Jasper said, being the voice of reason as always.

So we ordered and waited for our pizza. We talked about everything except the elephant in the room. No one wanted to think about what would happen after we left. What would happen to Rose's and Emmett's relationsip? I looked out the window and saw a girl waiting for the bus across the street. The streets were dark and cold and wet and from what I could tell the girl looked scared. She was huddled in the corner, pulling her coat around herself. I was immediately transported to that night a year ago.

Flashback

It was cold outside and I was waiting for the bus to come. My car was in the shop and my parents were busy at work and Emmett was at school. I looked up and down the street. There was no soul to be seen. I decided to just walk home rather than to wait for the bus in the cold. Home wasn't that far anyway.

So I started walking and as I was walking I looked around. The street was completely deserted, not even a car drove by. I told myself to relax and that was when I heard it.

Someone was calling my name. I started walking faster but the voice grew louder; it was coming closer. I turned the corner and just as I was about to pull out the pepper spray someone pushed me against the wall. I turned around, ready to kick my assailant.

It turned out to be my boyfriend, Leo. I sighed in relief.

"Leo, you scared me. I thought you were busy. What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Oh, you know I thought you would be alone coming home from school and my friends and I thought to give you some company," Leo said. He was standing close enough to me that I could smell the alcohol on him. He was drunk yet again.

"You and your friends?" I questioned.

He smiled and pointed down an alley where four guys stood, hidden from the street. I didn't know what this was but I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. I started to push him away but he grabbed my arm and dragged me roughly into the alley.

I was yelling hysterically but it was all to no avail. There was no one on the streets to hear me.

Leo and his friends were the only ones there and they…

End of flashback

"Bella? Bella?" Jasper yelled in my ear. He was sitting beside me again.

"What happened? Who died?" I asked, coming out of my reverie.

"No one died. Why do you always think someone died?" Jasper asked. The pizza had arrived and Jasper took out a slice and put it in his mouth. I shook my head and looked out the window. The bus had arrived and the girl had gotten on it. No one should have a fate like mine.

I turned back to the happy chatter of the group. After we were done eating, we left for our respective homes. Emmett made Rose and Jasper promise that they will come and see us off to Beverly Hills.


My phone rang early the next morning and I groaned. There was a crick in my neck and I had not slept very well the previous night. I had nightmares. I put a pillow over my head, hoping that if I ignored it the phone would shut up. Why would someone be calling me so early in the morning?

I sat up in bed.

Oh, god, we were moving back today. I reached across my bed and picked up my phone, looking at the caller id.

"Hello?"

"I've decided," Jasper said. He sounded distracted like he was doing something else while he was talking to me. I looked at the clock. It was fifteen minutes to nine. He usually wasn't even up this early. Oh, this was a bad sign.

"Jasper, if this is about Shelby, then I would like to say that you can do so much better than her," I said.

"What? No, this isn't about Shelby. I've decided to move back with you guys. Well, you know me and Rose," Jasper said, like he was not talking about moving to another country.

"Jasper, don't be absurd. I don't want you to uproot your life," I said.

"Rose and I decided that we wouldn't have a very good life without you and Emmett, so we are coming along," Jasper said. I couldn't believe that I was talking to Jasper the voice of reason. What was wrong with him?

"But this is your home," I said.

"This is your home too. If you can move back than so can we. I'll see you later, I still have to pack," Jasper said. Before I could protest, he had already hung up. I shook my head and threw my phone down on my bed. There wasn't anything I could do to convince Rose and Jasper when they had made up their minds.

I threw away the blanket and got out of bed. Since I was up, might as well get ready for my journey to the center of hell.