Misspellings are intentional (and from the episode, so I don't own that either).

Disclaimer: I own nothing.


Bags were packed and waiting to be loaded as Jonathan pulled up in the RV. The babies were in the arms of their parents – Princess included and Jake being carried by his Grandpa Phil – as they boarded the vehicle. As Phil came in last, the bag Jake was carrying came open and his stuffed white tiger fell out, landing on the front lawn.

As the RV was driving away, Jake pressed his face against the window at the back of the RV and stared at his left-behind toy.


It was night by the time Jonathan drove into Las Vegas. The babies, dressed in their pajamas, were sitting on a top platform of the RV, staring in awe at the colorful lights and signs.

"Las Vegas!" Jonathan exclaimed from the driver's seat, keeping one hand on the steering wheel as he made a sweeping gesture with his other arm.

"Mmm – it's lovely at night," Susan commented in a dreamy tone, clasping her hands under her chin.

"Haven't been here since the fifties," Phil said as he stood between the driver's and passenger's seats, one hand on the top of Jonathan's seat. He peered down at Jonathan as his son and daughter-in-law glanced up at him. "Took the town by storm, too. I won fifteen jackpots in a row!" He leaned down as Jonathan and Susan returned their attention to the road, both smiling. "They flew me home first class just to get rid of me."

Eli, Jonathan's brother and Phil's son, turned his head to his dad. "Mom said you lost everything but your underwear and came back on a bus."

"Ah, what did she know?" Phil countered, waving his hand in a dismissing manner.


"Look at all the lights, you guys," Jake exclaimed, hands on the glass of the window as he turned his head to look back at his friends.

"It's like being inside a Christmas tree," Dani said, head propped up by her hands as she lay on her stomach.

"Nah," Danny said. "That's just sticky."

"Do you think we're gonna' live here now, Jake?" Spud asked, pointing toward the window.

"I don't know, Spud," Jake shrugged with his shoulders, elbows, and hands.

"You dumb babies," Princess exclaimed, coming up the stairs. "We're not gonna' live here. We're on vacation." She placed her hands on her hips then spotted her Sassy Cat doll near the stair railing. "Oh, there you are, Sassy."

"What's a bacation, Princess?" Jake asked.

Princess began to brush Sassy Cat's purple tuft of hair as she explained. "A vacation is when you get to do exactly what you want all the time." She threw her arms out in a showy gesture.

Spud and Jake leaned toward each other. "I guess that means Princess is always on vacation," Spud whispered.

They giggled and then pulled away as Princess interrupted. "My daddy says Slots Vegas is the bestest place in the whole world to go for vacation."

"What's Slots-Vegas?" Dani asked, giving a small shrug and throwing her hands up.

"That," Princess pointed toward the window where there was a line of buildings on either side of the street, all having bright signs that lit up the night. "And I'm gonna' be the star of Slots-Vegas, 'cause I'm gonna' sing on a real stage in front of a bazillion people." She gazed down at her doll. "Come on, Sassy. Let's go practice our scales."

As the redhead ventured down the stairs, she sung in a high, off-key voice. "Go-make-me-a-donut-real-slow!"

"Does this mean we can do exactecly what we want?" Dani asked.

"Sure," Jake replied. With one small hand closed and the index finger of the other pointed skyward, he declared, "It's our bacation, too."

"I want to ride T-Rex to the moon," Danny said, raising his hands in the air, one of them holding a T-Rex toy.

"T-Rex can't fly," Dani argued, hands on hips as she sat on her knees.

"He can on my bacation, Danielle," Danny retorted, narrowing his eyes.

She glared and snatched the toy away from him. "Not if he's being my little baby, Daniel!" she snapped, cuddling the toy.

As the two began fighting over the toy, with Jake and Spud joining in, the adults were right under them, at the front of the RV, peering out the windshield.

"I'm gonna' try that thing where you parachute off the Eiffel Tower," Maddie, Danny and Dani's mom, said, waving her arms to mimic flying.

"I hear they have a replica of the Pacific Ocean in the lobby of the Atlantis hotel," Jonathan informed them. He smirked. "Maybe I'll check out the surfing."

Eli narrowed his eyes at him, sneering. "You can't surf."

"Can too," he argued, frowning slightly as his now-narrowed eyes glanced at his brother briefly before eyeing the road ahead.


"There's what I wanna' do," Jake said, hands against the window. The babies were back to staring out of it.

"Oh, look, guys," Hans said, looking at a building with big glowing letters that spelt out RAINFOREST. Above the letters was a jumbo screen with an image of two men and two white tigers. "It's those famous magicians, Eugene and Sheldon."

"Nice tigers," Jack, Danny and Dani's dad, complimented.

"You wanna' watch telebision?" Spud asked, looking at Jake.

"No, Spud," he turned his head to him. "I wanna' pet those kitties. They're just like the one that got lefted at my house."

"Look at the little whispers," Dani cooed, hands clasping.

"I don't know, Jake. They look kind of big to me," Spud said nervously.

"It's just 'cause the TV is so big," Jake reassured him, placing a hand on his shoulder. He then stood. "Let's go see 'em. It'll be fun."

As he began to head down the stairs, Spud shook his head, worried. "Somebody doesn't understand the word fun."


With Jake in one arm, Jonathan hit a gong with a small mallet. Both were unprepared when a big man wearing a Viking costume and adorning a long red wig grabbed the gong to keep it from shaking. They screamed, startled.

"Welcome to Viking hotel. Will this be a charge or will you be paying with pigs?"

In the lobby, Jonathan placed Jake down with the others as they stared around, amazed.

Spud gasped, pointing. "Look at that."

There was an inside river and on that river was a boat shaped like a dragon.

"I think I'm gonna' like Slots-Vegas!" Jake exclaimed as the boat rowed passed, throwing his arms open.


"Where'd you think the kitties are, Jake?" Spud asked as the four tykes, wearing bathing suits and furry water-wings, stood at the top of a small water slide.

"I don't know, Spud," he answered. "But they gotta' be around here somewhere. There's pictures of them all over the place."

"Maybe they're lost," Danny suggested as he stood on the bridge behind Spud.

"Or maybe their kitty mommy puts their pictures all over, so's everybody can see her little babies," Dani added.

"I'm gonna' go look for 'em in the pool," Jake said. Turning around, he jumped and went sliding down with a cheerful cry. Landing in the water, a drop splashed Susan who had been lounging by the pool. She gasped, eyes opening with a start. Seeing a giggling Jake, she smiled and waved.

Smiling, Dani poked Danny. "Okie-dokie, now who's next?" she asked slyly, looking passed Danny and toward an unsuspecting Spud.

Spud screamed in alarm as he was suddenly pushed by Danny and went sliding down the slide on his stomach.

"Oh," Dani said as the twins gripped the rope of the bridge and stared over the edge.

"I told him to hang on to his bathing suit," Danny told her.


Jack poked his head through the surface of the water just to be splashed by Jonathan. He rose up, shaking water from his hair before splashing Jonathan back. Said man returned the splash until the two were interrupted.

"Get this guys," Maddie was standing at the edge of the pool, grasping Danny's hand while carrying Dani in her other arm. On her right was Penelope, Princess's mom, and Princess wearing her bathing suit and an inner tube. On her left was Susan carrying Jake, and Spud right beside her. "Today's gonna' be a celebration of the glory and wonder of fatherhood."

The two men, now also joined by Eli, stared. Jonathan turned to Jack, raising a hand. "What does that mean?"

"They want us to watch the kids," Jack replied dryly.

"Maddie has suggested that we do a girls day out at Circus Giganticus," Susan explained.

"Yeah, they got some killer rollercoasters over there," Maddie said, directing a thumb over her shoulder. "The one that goes through the lobby pulls six G's." She elbowed Penelope. "Save ya a facelift there, Penelope. Ha!"

She brought her attention back to the guys, who were now joined by Hans. "Now don't get too crazy ya party animals."

Susan set Jake down at her feet and waved when he looked up. "Bye, honey."

"Well, there goes our fun," Jonathan said, turning his head to Eli.

"Nonsense," Eli replied. "We just do shifts. I'll take tomorrow."

"I'll take the next day," Hans said, following after him.

Jonathan turned to Jack who gave a nervous laugh and shrug before following after the two. Suddenly, Phil broke through the water's surface, goggles over his eyes and a snorkel in his mouth. He spat the end of the snorkel out. "Where'd everybody go?"

"They bailed on us, pop," Jonathan replied, gesturing in their direction with his thumb. "Looks like you and me and the kids."

"Well, that's okay. We'll just take 'em over to the casino with us," his dad said, gesturing with his thumb in the direction of the casino.

"Pop, they don't allow kids in the casino," Jonathan said. "Why don't we just head over to the all-you-can-eat buffet and grab some lunch."

Phil looked over his shoulder where the babies stood at the side of the pool, tugging on Princess's dinosaur inner tube. Then he glanced toward the casino. "Well, alright. The games are probably rigged nowadays anyway."

A bell went off and the two looked as an old man came running out of the casino, hands grasping wads of cash and even a line of bills poking out of the waistband of his pants. "I'm rich! I'm rich! I hit the jackpot!"

As he ran off, a dollar landed in the water. Phil hummed in thought. "On the other hand . . . see ya," he stuck the snorkel back in his mouth and plunged underwater.

Jonathan sighed, grabbing the dollar.


Fully clothed and wearing small Viking helmets, the babies and Princess stared in awe at the wide range of food on the buffet tables, gasping happily.

Jake grinned. "I think I just got really hungry."


Danny chased after Dani who glanced over her shoulder, smiling. Some kind of red sauce was on the corner of her chin, as well as a spot of it on her forehead, and she was holding a chicken leg – a bite already taken out of it.

Spud ran passed them, sauce covering his entire mouth. Jonthan arrived, turning his head, and gasped upon seeing the two-year-old with his mouth under a drink dispenser. He was pulling the lever down and a white liquid – presumably milk – poured into his mouth. "Spud, you're supposed to use a glass!"

Sitting on a table, Danny was feasting on a pineapple. "Danny, pineapples have to be peeled."

Jake was inside a giant bowl of noodles, placing some in his mouth and slurping it up. "Jake, get out of the pasta salad."

With Danny in his arms, Jonathan turned and wrinkled his nose. "Ew-hoo, Danielle, you're supposed to eat the raisins."

Princess sat on the dessert table, casually glancing around. She had a brownie in one hand and a pink muffin in the other. "Boy, sure a lot of people in here," she chewed on the brownie. Right as she was about to take another bite, she stopped and stared down in realization. "Hey! What am I doin' sittin' here eating?" Throwing her arms out, the desserts flew from her hands. "This could be my big break."

Standing up on the table, she grabbed a chocolate-topped banana and placed it to her mouth, mimicking a microphone. "Good evening, lazies and dinnermen, and welcome to the Princess show, starring Princess!"

As Jonathan was unraveling the noodles from Jake, he heard the singing. "Oh, beautiful, for spaceship eyes . . ."

He looked over and groaned. "Oh, great." He walked off as Jake stuck some more noodles into his mouth. Then quickly came back. "You kids stay here," he said as an afterthought before once again heading off.

Jake slurped a noodle up. "Wow, that was nummy!" he exclaimed, patting his stomach. Holding up a big bone, he gestured to it. "And look, I gotta' snack for the kitties."

"I don't know, Jake," Spud said, shaking his head. He opened his arms. "Maybe they're not here. Maybe we should do something else, like . . . sit on the floor and be really quiet."

"You're right, Spud," Jake admitted, standing up.

"I am?" he asked, surprised.

"I don't think they are here. I think they're in a different house."


Jonathan crawled across the dessert table, squashing a cream-filled pastry under his hand as he made his way toward the singing Princess. He moved two glasses out of his way. Princess was unaware of him as she raised a hand, mouth still to the banana as she sung. "Priiin-cess, Priiin-cess . . ."


As Jake crawled across the floor, making his way under a window, Spud's voice stopped him. "But, Jake, your dad said we're sposed to stay here."

He raised up on his knees. "That's true, Spud," he said, standing up. "E'cept this is a bacation and on a bacation . . ."

"We can do exactly what we want," Dani and Danny chorused, both raising their arms in excitement. They ran to join Jake who was staring out the window. Spud followed after.

"Look," Jake pointed to the jumbo screen where the tigers were shown. "There they are."

"Yeah, but what's that they're in?" Danny asked.

"It looks like a playpen," Dani commented.

"More like a prism," Jake said, expression saddening and hands clenching.

"You mean . . . they're prismers?" Danny asked, hands on his cheeks.

"We gots to let them out, Jake," Dani ran up, placing her hands on the front of Jake's shirt.

Spud gasped. "You guys, people end up in prism, 'cause they've done bad stuff," he held his hands up, fingers curling into claws.

Jake walked up to him. "They're kitties, Spud. Kitties can't do bad stuff," he said, expression one of worry.

"Kitties are tiny," Dani clasped her hands.

"And fluffy," Danny added.

Spud looked up at the jumbo screen. "Well . . . they do look kinda sad, huh?"

Jake turned away from the window, excitement renewed. "Dani's right, you guys. We gotta' let 'em out. Those kitties came all the way to Slots-Vegas and they asserve a bacation as much as we do. Come on!"


"Meeeeeee . . ." Princess finished as Jonathan carried her off. "Thank you, thank you . . ."

"When your parents get back, I am goi . . . oh no," Jonathan's eyes widened when he saw the empty table. "The kids."


The babies crawled through the crowd of moving feet. "Which way, Jake?" Spud asked.

"I'm not sure, Spud," he replied, crawling behind him. "There must be some way to get there."

They gasped, shooting up to their knees as the ground shook beneath them. The dragon boat had docked and the ramp had descended.

"Come on, Vikings! To the buffet!" a redheaded guy with braids yelled as the crowd on the boat ran down the ramp.

"The boat," Jake said. He stood and began walking toward it. "This'll take us to the kitties. Let's go."

"Why couldn't the bikings ride trikes?" Spud asked, eyes casting skywards.

Making his way up the ramp, Jake grabbed onto a rope that brought him up into the air and made him land on a large bongo drum. The sound made the rowers think it was time to get going, so they began working the oars. He climbed off and Dani and Danny came landing on top of the drum.

Jake gasped, grinning. "We're movin'! Do that again, you guys."

Dani and Danny complied, grabbing hands, they began jumping – Dani jumping up when Danny came down and vice versa.

Jake followed the movement with his eyes as the boat picked up speed. "We're on our way!" Hand cupping over his eyes, he peered over the side of the boat. "This is the bestest adventure we've ever had. Don't 'cha think so, Spud?" he asked, backs of his hands on his hips. Not getting a response, he frowned. "Uh . . . Spud?" he looked around. Hearing the sound of screaming, he looked up and gasped.

Spud was swinging around by the rope that Jake had grabbed earlier, screaming for his life.


Jonathan set Princess down. Hearing the screaming, he looked up. "Oh no . . ." spying the boat, he gasped. Turning just in time to see Princess trying to sneak away, he grabbed her wrist. "Let's go."

"But, Uncle Jonathan," she whined, pulling on his arm. "I gotta' go back for my encore."

"Come on, Princess," he picked her up and rushed off. "Hold on, Spud! I'm coming!"


Spud finally hit the pillar and landed on Jake. Both fell to the floor. Spud sat up, hand against his head. "Duh, that's not the bestest thing to do right after lunch." He placed his hands against his mouth, feeling sick.


Jonathan ran after the boat, but stopped. "We'll never catch 'em this way." Spotting a canoe, he pointed in excitement. "A boat!" He ran toward it. "Hurry!"

"Wait a minute," Princess exclaimed. "I'm not gettin' in that little thing."

"Pretend it's a game," Jonathan told her. He set her into the canoe and got in, just to have the small boat sink under his weight.

"Uncle Jonathan," his niece said, gripping the edges of her side of the canoe as it rose up into the air. "You gotta' learn some new games."


"Look, Spud," Jake pointed up at a screen on the wall as the boat sailed by. "It's the kitties. Hey, what's goin' on?"

"The boat!" Spud exclaimed. "It's goin' the wrong way!"

Jake turned to the twins. "Dani, Danny – stop jumpin'. We gotta' get off."

They did, landing back-to-back on the drum, both tired. "That's okay with us," Danny said as the rowers ceased to row, all of them just as tired.


Back in the water, Jonathan was swimming after the boat with Princess riding on his back. She appeared bored until her eyes widened. "Um, Uncle Jonathan . . ."

"Not now, Princess," he turned his head toward her just to have it hit the boat. "Ow!" he looked up, dazed.

"Tried to warn ya!" Princess exclaimed, clinging on to the back of his shirt.


A guy rolled the ramp down and the babies slid off on their stomachs. They stood and peered around. They had ended up at the casino

"Wow," Jake said.

"What is it?" Dani asked.

"I think it's a movement park," he answered.

"That's the way I wanna' go," Danny pointed and began walking with the others following after.

A pair of dice was rolled onto a table. They rolled snake eyes before Danny grabbed them and stuck them into his mouth. Turning his head, he spat them onto the floor. "They're a little stale," he informed his sister.


Spud ran on a roulette as it spun around. Falling on his butt, he ended up being carried along. "Whoa!"

"Hang on, Spud. I'm comin'!" Jake called to him as he pushed a pile of chips over to where he was. Getting up on the chips, he wobbled and then jumped. Plowing into Spud, both babies were thrown off of the spinning wheel and onto the floor.

They rolled as the wheel stopped, the ball landing on double 0 – which brought cheering.

"Thanks, Jake," Spud said, sitting up, dizzy.

"This way," Jake was standing, pointing to his right.


Jonathan walked through the casino, grasping Princess's hand. Both were dripping water. Hearing singing, Princess looked over and her expression brightened. "Hmm . . ." she glanced over her shoulder with a sly grin.

"I'm sure they came this way. Come on, Princess," Jonathan failed to notice that as he headed into one direction, Princess made a beeline for the stage.


Spud was on all fours as Dani and Danny stood on his back and Jake climbed up on them to get to the top of the slot machine, where he looked out.

Two slot machines away was his grandpa. "Well, this is my last nickel," Phil said, placing it in the machine, but before he could pull down on the lever, he spotted something on the floor and got down on his hands and knees. "Oh, what's this?" he picked up a penny. "Will you look at that? A lucky penny."

He was unaware of his grandson making his way across the tops of the slot machines and then deciding to use his to climb down. He stepped on the round end of the lever and rode it down to the floor.

The pictures spun and Phil stood. "Hey, who pulled the confounded . . ." he trailed off as all three pictures said BAR and the red light went off. Coins spilled out and over the tray. "Whoo-hoo!" he threw handfuls of coins into the air. "Jackpot!"

On the floor, Jake smiled. "Over here, Jake," Dani called to him and he turned to join his friends.

Jonathan suddenly ran passed and turned his head just time to see Jake disappear around the corner of a slot machine. "Jake!" he called, unknowingly running passed Phil who was gathering the coins. "Sto – whoa!" he slipped on some of the scattered coins and landed on his back.

Phil peered down at him. "Oh, good. You're just in time to help me carry my nickels."

Jonathan rose to his feet. "Forget the nickels, pop. The kids are gettin' away."

"You parents today are such nervous nellies," Phil said as his son ran off.


The floor ended in snow as the kids walked on. A sign nearby said: Polar Route to the Circus Giganticus Hotel.

The babies boarded a dogsled.

"How're we gonna' make the dogs go, Jake?" Spud asked, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Well, I know what works with Cujo," he said, holding a hand out. "Anybody got a ball?"

"Well . . ." Danny reached into his pocket. "I was savin' this for later." He handed Jake a big orange.

Jake tossed the orange in front of the dogs and they took off. The babies leaned back, gripping the rails of the sled, screaming.


"Darn it, kid," the singing guy said as he and Princess fought over the microphone, with her yanking on the cord. "Let go."

She didn't release her grip until Jonathan came up behind her and grabbed her under the arms. "Come on."

The cord slipped from her fingers and the singing guy fell. "Ooh!"


Hans and Jack were on the slopes, both having a pair of skis and poles. "Hey, watch it!" Jack exclaimed as Hans made it in front of him. "Ooh, look out! Look out!"

The kids were suddenly racing passed them, still screaming.


Back at the opening of the polar dog route, Phil was loading his bags of nickels into a sled as Princess sat in it and Jonathan stared at the dogs, hands on his hips. "How do you start one of these things anyway?"

"Reminds me of the fifteen years I spent prospecting up in the UConn," he told Princess who was looking up at him with a toothy grin. "One night, it got so cold, I had to sleep under a grizzly bear."

"That's nice, grandpa," she said as he loaded another bag onto the sled. "Can I have some nickels?"


The babies finally made it to the circus and stared around in awe as the dogs came to a stop upon spotting the circus poodles.


"How do you steer this thing?" Jonathan asked as he gripped the reigns.

"Pull the strap!" Phil called up to him.

"Which one?"

Neither notice Hans and Jack coming up beside them. "Um, Uncle Jonathan . . ."

"Not now, Princess."

Suddenly, the two crashed into the sled, falling in while it kept going.


Spud screamed as he was surrounded by clowns. He quickly crawled out of the clown huddle. "Clowns," he groaned, joining his friends. "It had to be clowns." He shuddered.

Jake placed a hand on his shoulder. "It's alright, Spud. We're almost there. Look." They had a view of a jumbo screen from the opening of the tent.


Back at the polar route exit, the three dads, one grandpa, and one girl finally made it out. Princess gasped. "A circus!" she giggled, jumping over the rail and running off.

"Oh no," Jonathan said, pointing. "They're in the center ring!" He jumped over the rail. "I'm coming, kids!"

Running into the center ring, he waved his arms. "Nobody move! Watch out for the babies!"

Suddenly he was whisked away by an acrobat. "What are you doing?!"

"Aren't you part of the act?" the blonde who had grabbed him asked.

"Whoooaaaa!"


"I'm sure he can carry us," Jake said, staring up at the elephant. "Alls we gotta' do is find the stairs."


"Come on, you clowns!" the same group of clowns that had ganged up on Spud got out of their small clown car just as Princess was walking by.

She stared at the car and rubbed her hands together, a teeth-baring grin on her face.


The elephant's tail swung as the babies held on. They screamed as they were thrown into a pile of hay.

"What are we gonna' do, Jake?" Danny asked.

"Yeah, we'll never get to the kitties now," Dani said.

The four turned as Princess came driving up. "Hellooo, babies. Like my new car?" she honked the horn.

Jake smiled. "Hey, Princess, will you give us a ride over to the kitties' house?"

"Nah," she said. "I'm gonna' go find the place where I can sing and be famous."

"If you come with us, you can have something even better," her cousin promised.

"Better?" she asked with a scoff. "What could be better?"

"If you come with us, you can be on TV," Jake offered, pointing up at the jumbo screen.

Princess glanced up and smirked. "Hmm . . ."

She and the babies were driving by as Jonathan fell, screaming, into the safety net.

"See ya latter, Uncle Jonathan," she waved. "We're gonna' go see the kitties."


Meanwhile, the moms were riding the rollercoaster. As it came up then plummeted down, they screamed, oblivious to their kids as they came by in the clown car.

Princess drove through a pair of double doors. "And as we leave the big circus place, to our right, we see some grass and stuff . . ."

Eli was just coming out of store, bags in his arms.

"And up ahead," Princess continued. "We see . . ." she gasped. "My daddy?!"

Said daddy screamed in alarm as the car headed right for him. The kids echoed his scream. As Princess managed to drive passed, he fell to the floor, the bags flying and stuff scattering.

Princess drove up a staircase and over the bridge that led to the RAINFOREST. As she drove into the lobby, Jake exclaimed, "We made it!"

"Where are the kitties?" Dani asked.

"Look over there," Danny said as Princess came to a stop in front of a door that had a picture of the tigers on it.

"That way, Princess," Jake directed, pointing.

"Everybody hang on!" she yelled as she drove on through.


The dads and grandpa ran into the building. "I don't know," Jonathan said. "She said something about the kitties."

They spotted the poster of the magicians and their tigers. "You don't think she meant . . ." Eli trailed off.

"The tigers!" Jonathan exclaimed. "They're trying to get to the tigers in the Eugene and Sheldon show! Come on!"

They ran for the door, but a big guy in a blazer, tie, and skirt blocked them, arms crossed and scowl in place. "Where do ya think you're goin', snow bunny?"

The gruff question was directed at the ski-clothed Hans who gave a nervous smile. "Uh . . . in there?"

"Not without a ticket," the guy countered, tapping him on the nose.

He gulped.

Phil, who had heard the confrontation, stared down at the bags of nickels and glanced into the casino that was a part of the building. Narrowing his eyes, he went up to the front desk and placed the bags down, causing the blonde lady to gasp. "Five tickets please – and make it snappy!"


Inside, the show was starting. "Good evening, and welcome to the Eugene and Sheldon show!" announced Eugene. "Tonight, we will be dazzling you beyond your wildest imagination. Isn't that right, Sheldon?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," his partner muttered.

"You will see wonders never before seen on this, or any planet, ending with our famous disappearing act when we will be lowered into the cage of tigers. Then, disappear into total invisibility when we appear in this vat of low-fat milk."

Above, the babies watched. "Jake," Spud began, shaking his head. "Those kitties aren't little. They're giantic!"

Jake frowned, anxious. "They are pretty big . . ."

"What should we do, Jake?" Dani asked him.

"Well . . . um . . . maybe we should just go home," he began walking down the balcony, but suddenly stopped and peered down at the caged tigers. "Bye, kitties. I'm sorry we couldn't help you." One of the tigers looked up. He waved. "Hi."

The tiger purred, placing a paw against the top of the cage. Jake stared into the tiger's yellow eyes and he was suddenly filled with fresh determination. "No!" he exclaimed. "No. I don't care how big they are. It's still not fair for them to be stuck in that prism and it's up to us to get 'em out."

"But how we gonna' get out there without nobody seein' us?" Danny asked.

"Hey, babies," Princess called, waving when they turned to her. "Over here." She stared down at where some backstage guys were placing small animals in big rolling closets meant for the show. When the babies joined her, she turned to them. "Say goodbye to the old Princess, babies. 'Cause I'm about to become a star!" she threw her arms out wide. She looked back over the rail.

A guy placed a rabbit into the small box and as he bent to pick up another, he didn't notice the small redheaded girl that landed inside.

The babies gasped, shrinking back in fear of Princess getting caught, but the man didn't even look into the box as he placed the other rabbit inside then closed the top and wheeled it out.

"This is it, you guys," Jake said, placing his hand out, palm down. "For the kitties!"

"For the kitties!" Dani and Danny parroted placing their hands on top of his.

They stared at Spud expectantly. He hesitate, but then groaned and slowly placed his hand on top of Dani's. "For the kitties, ugh . . ."

A man placed a puppy inside the closet then bent to pick up a bone, not noticing the one-year-old boy in red and blue who was also in the box.

A dark-skinned man didn't notice the little ebony-haired boy who fell into the small box where a weasel was placed. The same went for a redheaded man when a little ebony-haired girl fell into the box where he was placing doves.

One of the doves, however, got away and pooped on a guy wearing glasses. As he turned to wipe the corner of his glasses, a two-year-old boy dropped into the box and the glasses-wearing guy closed it, unaware of the addition.

All of the boxes were wheeled onto the stage. A woman wheeled one of the boxes to the center. "As you can see," Eugene said into the mic. "This box is completely empty." He and Sheldon each opened a door, revealing the nothingness inside. "Devoid of physical matter. Nothing in it. But, now we close the box . . ."

The two closed the doors. "We tap on it three times with our special Eugene and Sheldon hands . . ." standing on either side of the box, both men tapped three times on their ends. They both grabbed a knob, getting ready to open the doors. "Und behold . . .

"The fabulous Princess!" Princess exclaimed, causing the two men as well as the audience to gasp in surprise.


Maddie, Penelope, and Susan came through the doors of Circus Giganticus, laughing. Susan was the first to come to an abrupt halt, hands on her face and mouth wide open, but Maddie and Penelope were quick to mimic the expression of shock when they saw Princess on the jumbo screen.

The redheaded three-year-old grabbed the mic from Eugene and began singing. "My days were just a chore to get through, oh yeah . . ."

The moms shared a look before running toward the RAINFOREST.

"Back there at home with nothing to do. PU . . .

Sheldon moved the box, causing Eugene to trip over it. "Now that I'm away . . ." Princess continued as she went between the legs of the showgirls who gasped. "Gonna' play all day – whoo!"

Eugene and Sheldon made an attempt to go on with the show and tapped on another box. "I'm gonna' stay until they come and get me . . ."

The crowd gasped in shock and Eugene and Sheldon stared down at the little boy who was holding the puppy and smiling up at them.

The next box revealed the black-haired boy holding the weasel in his arms. More gasps came from the audience. "I wanna' dance and jump and run . . ."

When the fourth box was opened, a flock of birds came flying out, revealing the black-haired girl who was holding two birds and had one on her head.

The last box showed the two-year-old who was holding a skunk. Eugene and Sheldon recoiled from the stench. "Wanna' go out and have some fun, yeah . . ."

The little boy let go of the skunk and collapsed from the smell, falling out of the box and causing the two magicians to knock knees as they tried to reach for the kid.

The stage was complete chaos as babies and animals ran around, the boxes upturned and Princess continuing to sing, oblivious to the mess. "You can come along . . ."

Eugene was about to go after her, but a showgirl was passing by at that exact moment and he tripped, hitting one of the boxes and causing it to fall on him. "We can sing this song . . . you know we can't go wrong when we're together . . ."

A showgirl ran passed Princess with Jake and Dani hanging on to the backend feathers of her costume. "One week around here . . ."


Outside in the lobby, the blonde lady was still counting Phil's nickels, appearing annoyed, and Phil and Jonathan were waiting. "Just not enough . . ."

Hans then went up to Jonathan and pointed to the moms who ran in. The guy guarding the door was quick to get out of the way. "Two weeks around here, yeah, now we're starting to do the really great stuff."

The guard peered in as Grandpa Phil and the dads hustled passed. "Humph!" Hans grunted.

"Vacation, all I ever wanted . . ." Jake pulled his screwdriver from the pocket of his pants and began heading toward the tiger cage.

"Vacation, had to get away," Princess turned and ran away to avoid the magicians and their showgirls who were trying to catch her. "Vacation, wish it would never end, oh yeah . . . vacation, all I ever wanted. Vacation, had to get away . . ."

The trio of moms made it to the stage. "Vacation, wish it would never end . . ."

Spotting Jake almost to the tiger cage, Susan let out a Tarzan yell and ran for the stage. Jumping up, she grabbed onto a vine and rode it into the air. Susan's eyes widened as Jake got closer. Right as he was about to place the screwdriver into the keyhole, Susan swooped in and grabbed him. She landed on the indoor balcony. Mother and son smiled at each other before casting worried looks down at the chaos below them.

Princess was still running from Eugene. Until a bag of nickels came out of nowhere and hit him in the head, knocking off the red wig he was wearing. Princess laughed along with Phil who was standing on top of a table and getting ready to throw another bag. "One week around here . . ."

"Just not enough . . ." Grandpa Phil threw the last bag and began dancing on the tabletop.

Maddie, Hans, and Jack ran up to the stage as their kids made their way toward them. "Two weeks around here . . ." Hans took Spud in his arms and then Jack and Maddie grabbed Dani and Danny respectively. "Now we're starting to do the really great stuff . . ."

The angry magicians got up and advanced on the parents. "Vacation, all I ever wanted . . ." a growl, however, stopped them. They turned their heads to see the tigers out of the cage and stalking toward them. "Vacation, had to get away . . . vacation, wish it would never end . . ."

The two ran and slid on the coins. Both rammed into a fallen box, went flying, and landed in the vat of low-fat milk, causing the liquid to splash over the side and onto the floor.

"Vacation, all I ever wanted. Vacation, had to get away . . ." the tigers sniffed at the milk and began lapping it up. "Vacation, wish it could never end . . ."

The parents approached, children in hand, and leaned down, allowing the tykes to pet the tigers who purred under their touch.

"You know, guys," Jake smiled, petting the tiger with both of his hands. "This is the bestest bacation any baby ever had."

"Yeah," Dani giggled.

"Yeah," Spud said, giggling as well. He then shuddered. "Ecept for the clowns, ooh-eh . . ."

"Vacation, all I ever wanted. Vacation, had to get away. Vacation, my, my, my, wish it would never end. Oh, yeah!"