Story of My Life II
Chapter 2
The Talk

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter...


Today we had four classes with the Gryffindors, it was awful. I couldn't stop stealing glances of Sirius and he didn't even look at me, but it isn't more than what I deserve. I crushed his hearth! He'll never forgive me for that, I know he won't, but I hope he'll understand someday that it was for the best, that we couldn't keep on doing what we did because it wouldn't have ended well.

I looked at him again; he was sitting by the Gryffindor table now eating his dinner. I sighed in sadness.

"Lyrae?" Missy nudged my arm to get my attention.

"What?" I asked simply, not even looking at her. I felt her eyes on me; she was looking at me with pity. Merlin I hated that! I didn't need her pity!

"You did the right thing." She said in a low, caring voice.

I nodded. "I know." I turned my stare somewhere else; I couldn't look at him, it hurt too much.

Zandra rose from her seat. "Want to go for a walk?" She asked like everything was normal.

I love Zandra, she knew what I needed and that wasn't to talk about my feelings like Missy wanted me to do. With a nod I left my seat and walked out the doors with Zandra in my heals.

"Thanks." I said in gratitude to her.

She didn't answer, just what I wanted. "Wan't to go to the Quidditch pitch?" She asked to change the subject.

"Yeah." I smiled.

We walked in silence to the pitch, not one of us wanting to talk about all the crapy things in life and how unfair it is.

We reached the pitch and Zandra pulled out her wand and summoned her broom. I did the same and as I got a hold of my broom Zandra eyed it. "When did you get a broom?" She asked. "And a WindStorm!" She exclaimed as she saw the silver writing on the handle.

"Oh, it's new." I grinned.

"I didn't know you even liked to fly."

"It's something I've found a fondness of as I was dating Sirius." I explained.

Zandra eyed the broom. "It's beautiful. Perfect length, the tail isn't too big and it's perfectly tied, the handle's straight except the little turn in the front."

"Yeah, it was the fastes broom in the store so I just had to get it." I said and mounted my broom. As I took off and was far up in the sky I looked down. "Are you coming?" I shouted so she could hear.

I saw her lips form the word, "Amazing." She climed her own broom and sped to where I was. "It's amazing." She said with such love in her voice.

"Oh snap out of it!" I scolded her. "We're here to have some fun."

She nodded. "Yeah, you're right." She agreed. She smirked and pulled something gold out of her pocket. "And we will."

"Is that a snitch?" I asked, frowning.

"Yeah, I... borrowed it from the school." She said with a sly smile.

I decided to not persue the issue of not stealing from school, so I just nodded. "How do we do this?" I asked, eager to start flying.

"We try to catch the snitch, what else." She said like it was obvius and rolled her eyes. She released the golden ball. "Wait five minutes and then try to catch it." She said with that sly smile again.

My eyes followed the snitch from where I was, but soon it was gone and I couldn't see it anymore. I looked at my watch; the five minutes was up. I looked at Zandra; she knew it too. She flew fast in the direction she had last seen the tiny golden ball, I flew after and chought up with her in just a matter of seconds. She was pressed against her broom and tried to get it to fly faster, pushing it's limits. I did the same and soon I was far ahead of her, but I couldn't see the snitch. I decided to take a risk and took a turn to the left. Maybe, just maybe, the little winged ball had changed direction. I decided to search the stands, but it seemed hopeless. I looked for minutes, but I couldn't find it. Done searching the stands I saw Zandra. She was grinning and I knew she had found it. We met on the pitch and landed in the center of it.

"You shouldn't have turned left." She said with a victorious grin.

I shrugged. "I had to take a chance."

"Yeah, and it wasn't a bad decision. It was just unlucky." She replied, smiling. "Want to go inside."

"No, but you go." I answered with a smile of my own.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I just want to go a few laps." I assured her.

"Ok. See you later." She said as she left the pitch with her broom over her shoulder.

I mounted my broom once more and sped to the castle roof-tops. I felt the wind press against me and it felt so good. I felt free. I found a top that suited me perfectly and sat down. I could see everything; it was amazing. The sky was beautiful with its red horizon and puffy clouds. It looked like a painting, a master piece. And the wind blowing gently over my face felt so soft and caring, like it was caresing my cheek. I can't believe I hadn't found this place before. This place, this roof top, was my very own. A place where I could escape reality, a place of peace.

I looked at my watch and it was over 11.00 pm. I had been sitting here for over three hours and now it was over curfew. With a sigh I flew back to the castle and walked straight to my dormitory. I was surprised to find everyone asleep. I tipp-toed to my bed and placed my broom under it. In a flash I changed to my pink and grey pyjama pants and a pink T-shirt, brushed my teeth and was ready for bed. As I laid down I felt my stomach growl. Afraid my stomach would wake everyone up, I decided to take a stroll to the kitchens and get some food.

I hate to walk about the castle at night, it's not like I hadn't done it before, but it's just eerie. It's so dark and dismal, but in some wierd way I had come to like it, but at the same time it was creepy. Maybe it's because of Sirius? We used to walk the halls at night on our way to the kitchens. I just hope I don't run in to him now, it would be too awkward.

But it seemed like faith had different plans for us. Just as I was about to open the portrait to the kitchens, Sirius was about to exit it. He got a weird look in his eyes as he realised who I was. I could tell that he didn't want to see or talk to me at the moment. He just nodded politely and walked past me. I stared at his retreading back.

"Hey!" I shouted after him.

He turned to face me. "What?" He asked with no emotion.

"I..." I didn't know what to say, I just wanted to hear his voice. "How've you been?" I asked, staring at him to see just a glimpse of what he felt.

"Good." He simply answered without any emotion.

"Oh, good." I began to fiddle with my hands, not wanting to see his cold eyes who used to be so filled with passion and love.

"Well, I got to go. Good night." He said as he left me and headed up to his dormitory.

I sighed, my heart ached like hell. I was tormenting myself, but I had to do this. If I didn't he would end up heartbroken, it was better that I hurt than him. He may look tough, but he's soft inside. I know it.

I didn't feel that hungry anymore and decided to go back to the dormitorys.

Once I was in my bed again I couldn't sleep. I just lay awake thinking of him. I couldn't get him out of my mind! Even if I did drift off to sleep I would only dream about him.

As I lay there, I thought about what I had to do now. I had to do something to fix my relationship with Sirius, we should at least be friends and able to be in the same room and talk to each other. I couldn't stand to not be his friend, we were so good together. I want it to be the way it had been between us, not a couple but friends. It would have been so great, us two laughing and talking about things without it being awkward.

Planing a way to get Sirius to be friends with me took almost all night, but I had a plan. Tomorrow I'll find Sirius and get him to talk to me, if he won't I'll find a way to get him to. I won't give up! We can be friends, I know it. It will help us both. It will be good for us. Right? Of course it will, why wouldn't it? I mean, friendship wouldn't hurt in anyway? Of course not! Right? Right? Well, I've decided to do this and it will succeed. Right? Even though I was possitivly sure my plan would work, the little voice inside my head argued. It will never work, he hates you. Just give up! OH SCREW IT! WHY AM I TALKING TO MYSELF? AND OF COURSE IT WILL SUCCEED! Ok, Lyrae, stop talking to yourself now. Merlin.

The night went by and I finally went to sleep, and as I had predicted I dreamt of Sirius. As I woke up I took a quick shower and got dressed fast. When I was done the others hadn't even gotten out off bed. But I had something to do so I had been up bright and early. I was ready to talk, realy talk, to him. I went down to the Great Hall and waited by the doors. The students began to come down and seated themselves at the tables. Finally Sirius showed up; he was laughing with his friends. He seemed happy. Would I ruin him if I got involved in his life again? Was I selfish for wanting to be friends with him, to be in his life again? Is he happy with the way things are now? I'm only thinking of myself. It's I who can't live without him in my life, not the other way around. Should I talk to him or just let him be?

He walked past me without as much as noticing me. I turned around. "Sirius!" I almost shouthed with desperation.

He stopped and turned. As he saw me he got a stone cold look. "Yeah?" He asked casually.

"I was wondering..." It seemed like the words were stuck in my throat.

"Yeah?" He asked when I didn't say anything.

"Can we talk?" I said slowly and almost silently.

He looked at James and Remus who urged him on. "Sure." He replied.

When he didn't move I said, "Privately?"

He followed me to the girls bathroom and closed the door after us. "So what did you need to talk to me about?" He asked.

I looked him right in the eye and answered, "About us." I watched his reaction to find any sign of emotion that I couldn't find earlier.

He almost flinched. He got a weird look, like he wanted to run or shout at me or something. He looked angry, but his eyes gave him away. He still had some kind of feelings for me. Inside of me I wanted to scream in happiness, but at the same time back off. He couldn't have feelings for me, even though I wanted him to, because we couldn't be together anyway.

"What about us?" He asked with coldness, but yet, hope.

It was now or never. Should I tell him that I wanted to be his friend or would it only break him? Or maybe I should tell him that I still love him? "I..." I knew what I had to do.

AN:
Hi!
Long time no see, right?

Well, now I'm back! You can thank an ananymous reviewer who wanted me to finish this story. But you can't expect an update every week or so, I have writer's block at the moment. But I won't give up this story, just so you know. I intend to finish it, even if it takes a little more time than planed.

Anyway, I just wanted to thank my readers and reviewers. Love you guys!

Thanks to:

muzical: Yeah, I'm finally back! I was beginning to think I wouldn't get up another chapter, but luckily I did. It was quite a dramatic beginning, but I couldn't write it differently, hope you liked it anyway.

Sirius-Baby: She follows her family because that's what she's been doing all her life, she doesn't know what else to do and she wants to help them. Sorry for the very long wait, but I just wasn't inspired to write more. Sorry.

Scubadiver101: Well, I finally updated, but it took a while. So sorry :S

PseudonymismyPseudonym: It was a cruel chapter, wasn't it? But it had to have happened eventually anyway. Glad you loved it, but sorry for the long wait you had to endure.

WritingisLove: I think you'll be happy to hear that I've decided to continue this story :)

kelsi hermione: Many people have said that they've been waiting for this sequel, and honestly I had no idea that it was so many. But it's realy nice to hear that you guys like my writing, it realy inspires me.

Neverending Shades of Grey: First of all I just have to say that I loved your review, it was realy good and it inspired me to write the next chapter. I always love to hear what people think of it and what they thought was good about it. And I totally agree about Sirius ;) I too tend to fall for the wrong guys, but what can you do?

AnimeOtakuBara: I will continue with this story :)

InLuvWidVan: As I've said to the others, I will continue this story :) And thank you, it's always good to hear that people like my story. Yes, sadly I have just experianced what Lyrae and Sirius have been going through.. but we're not together, we just fooled around for a while until he found another girl to snog.. But luckily I'm over him now.. I hope. I realy don't know since I haven't met him in a while. Who knows what I might feel when I see him again.. For now I'm good :) Thank you :)

Love your reviews!