A/N: Twilight and all of it's characters are not my creation.
Chapter 2
I had to resort to my mini-map when inelegantly stumbling around campus looking for the little coffee shop where Jake wanted to meet me. He said it was called Coffee Bean, and should be located somewhere between somewhere and somewhere. Needless to say, I had never been awarded any medal for my orienteering skills. A few years earlier dad and I had gone hiking he'd insisted tying me to him with a rope just to be safe.
I finally felt like I was getting closer, hope raised and my eyes desperately searching for anything remotely related to a coffee place, then wind grabbed my precious mini-map. I felt like my lifeline was ruthlessly taken away from me, and I can only imagine the fierceness gleaming in my eyes as I threw myself after the piece of paper. I, used to the lack of people wandering the streets in Forks, didn't even think to calculate moving people or other dangerous objects in range of my spring towards the map. So. Yes, I banged into a guy, head first.
People hardly paused to view the spectacle, thankfully they probably were used to seeing crazy people throwing themselves at others now and then. I stumbled onto my feet in an instance after knocking the guy over, blurted a sorry and started walking quickly away, blushing madly while feeling the adrenaline and need to get away from the situation taking me over.
"Hey, your map?" He shouted after me. I halted. I really didn't want to turn, shaking slightly. I bit my lip, I needed that map dearly. I cursed. Then turned and walked back over to him again. I whimpered when I looked at him. Of course, he had to be the prettiest person I'd ever seen. No, I couldn't just toss myself into an ugly person, breaking their glasses while at it, unable to recognize me when blinded, while I gracefully sneaked away, mini-map in hand.
"I must say I am a little hurt, not only physically, but by you pounding into me like that for something not even important enough to remember two seconds later." He had the most perfectly shaped face, I had never seen anything like it before. His insanely good looks had me breathless, and the following oxygen deprivation kept me silent while I shamelessly took him in. He had dark eyebrows contrasting his pale face, a beautiful soft mouth resting above a perfectly formed chin. His jaw line, his nose, even his ears, goddamnit – beautiful. Someone carved out of stone would be set to shame by him.
He chuckled lightly and stretched a bruised hand holding my map towards me. I winced at the sight, grabbed the map and clenched my teeth together in mortification. I could see he was older then me, probably around 25. He had a maturity in his eyes. The eyes, oh, the eyes. I was overthrown by just looking at them, knowing he was looking into mine the same second, carrying a searching drive. I regained control by breaking away from his gaze, keeping a firm stare at my shoelaces.
"I am so sorry," I whispered and concentrated on the ground.
"No problem, I.." He started, I could hear him smiling while saying it, but I turned around before he could say anything more. I just turned and started walking away again, probably leaving him a bit baffled by my hasty exit.
I felt my body on autopilot, I just had to extract myself from the uncomfortable situation. The anxiety that had been fuming in my body was my cue to just pull away, and I did. As I had got used to doing, I faithfully listened to the cues my body served me.
My phone rang after a minute of me walking in random direction, a direction which was mainly just away from the scene.
"Bella, I can see you, you're walking in the wrong direction. Stop! Don't move, I'm coming to get you," Jake said, and I turned towards the shouting of my name. He reached me and snorted knowingly. "I knew I should know better then to count on your navigation."
I couldn't help turning my head towards where I'd come from. They should lock up people genetically disposed for extraordinary beauty like that. He had to have a few car accidents on his conscience.
Jake and I sat down in the coffee bar; he'd already ordered me a black coffee. He knew I didn't care for any other caffeinated beverage then pure, strong and black coffee. We chatted awhile to catch up, about Charlie and his dad, about being free at college and such. We nicely avoided any mention of what had happened the last time we'd been together, and why should we talk of it? It had happened frequently over the years we'd known each other, and I presumed we'd gotten enough used to it then to analyze it whenever I had a… scene.
But then, as there were ten minutes left before we had to go to our respective dorms and get ready for the party, he turned quiet and looked at me strangely.
"College is great. There are a lot of free scientific experiments you can join as well; sometimes you get paid as well." I saw it coming, but if he was doing this, I would let him squirm as much as possible while saying it. He took a deep breath, already seeing my disapproving expression. "I saw a flyer for a psychological trial to cure…"
I was wrong, I couldn't hear more. I cut him off, scoffing angrily and emptying the rest of my second coffee. "This is not something I need to fix, Jake, I manage it fine. I haven't had an episode since that day in June, and I am not planning on either."
"I hope so, Bella, but you know just as well as I do it has only gotten more and more generalized, and it's the last thing you need now at a new place and a new beginning." He said it with consideration in his voice; I blew him off with a sneer.
"See you later, Jake." I said angrily and walked off.
I walked quickly towards my dorm feeling the annoyance stir inside of me. Jake usually didn't ever mention my anxiety; we'd usually just share a bottle of wine and ignore it. Having him sneak attack me like that, and him of all people, made me squirm inside. I had my anxiety closely locked up inside of me, controlled and separate – until it unleashed itself and I suffered an attack. Talking about it or touching it felt so bad and instinctively wrong I never did, and had gotten used to not having to deal with it when Jake was around.
He was my safe harbor, my carefree and safe home. He was the only person I was sure would ignore the bad sides and therefore I could share my good sides with.
I spotted what I imagined, even with my limited navigational skills, could be a short cut to my dorm. Turning the corner I realized I would have to pass through a narrow alleyway on the way, and I could see shady-looking people standing idly there. I felt fear surge inside of me, and turned around, taking the normal route home. I reached my room ten minutes later, finding Rosalie in the midst of her shiny clothes. She smiled widely when I entered.
"Hi! I was just thinking this green top would suit you superwell!" She threw it gracefully towards me, I tried my best to catch it.
After picking it up from the floor, I grabbed a pair of dark pants and went into the bathroom to change. I sighed at the reflection in the mirror and decided I would have to talk to Jake and ask him to make sure he'd never bring it up again. I felt like I was handling it the only way I could possibly endure.
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Sorry about the short chapters, they get lenghtier further out into the story.
Reviews are happily accepted!
