A/N: This chapter was supposed to explain their current relationship and history as well as cover the entire night… But somehow it ended up being nearly 8k words, so here's the first half and chapter 3 will be up in a few days.
2.
Andrea's kitchen smelled like sugar and cinnamon, the sweet aroma wafting out into the rest of the house as Andrea pulled out a pan of homemade cinnamon rolls from the oven. She quickly placed them on the island, where they could cool some before she added the icing to them. She peeled off her black oven mitts and stacked them beside her baked goods, smiling proudly to herself as she gave her desserts another look. She shut the oven gently and crossed over to the fridge to take out the ingredients for the pizzas, a jazz playlist playing in the background.
She was so wonderfully lost in the peaceful environment she had created in her kitchen that she nearly jumped out of her skin when her eyes landed on an amused brunette watching her from just outside the kitchen. Thankfully her hands were empty, the bowl of diced chicken just making it to the countertop before she noticed Sharon. A warm flush rushed up her neck, her breath catching in her chest.
"I used my key," Sharon said as she held up the key ring on one of her curved fingers. "I rang the bell first, but," she said with a smile as she glanced over to the opened laptop, In the Mood by Glenn Miller happily spilling out of its speakers, "you must not have been able to hear it."
"So you stood there watching me instead," Andrea said as she shook her head. She played over the last minute or two. She'd been dancing with the music as she often did while in the kitchen, humming along, and she could only imagine how ridiculous she looked while doing it with her hands full of ceramic bowls.
Sharon smiled lightly, but even though it looked genuine, there was a dimness to her eyes that made Andrea instantly worry. "What can I say? I enjoy a free show," Sharon said with a soft laugh as she entered the kitchen.
Andrea smiled back at her, but she moved to turn down the music some as she leaned against the counter. Sharon took a seat on one of the stools, her feet bare with rose polish on her toes. She was still wearing her pantsuit sans jacket, but her hair was clipped back like she sometimes put it when she got home after a long day. Sharon only raised one of her perfectly-plucked eyebrows as Andrea slowly took in her friend's demeanor, allowing Andrea to look at Sharon without the brunette questioning her.
When she was finished, moments later, she frowned and moved over to the island where the cinnamon rolls were. Andrea could tell something was wrong with Sharon, but she didn't ask her about it. A lot of the time Sharon preferred a distraction until she was ready to discuss what was bothering her. So Andrea reached for the bowl of icing she'd made and asked, "Want one?"
Sharon spun around to face her, a tender smile on her lips as she cradled her head in her hand and looked at Andrea. "No, thank you. Not right now."
Andrea nodded, spooning out the gooey icing and letting it drip down onto the rolls. Andrea glanced up once or twice to see Sharon silently watching her, as she normally would, and smiled at her friend. Soon they would get started on their pizzas, but for a few minutes Andrea wanted to give Sharon a chance to relax and clear her mind of whatever had upset her.
"Wine's in the fridge," she said after a few moments, sucking icing off her thumb and bringing the emptied bowl over to the sink.
Sharon hummed and got up from the stool. "Would you like me to pour you a glass as well?"
"Do you even need to ask?"
Sharon hummed again and retrieved two glasses before searching the fridge for the wine, a soft sound leaving her throat once she located it. "Ooh. Excellent choice."
"Don't tell me you seriously expect anything less from me." A low rumble formed in Andrea's chest, her eyes flicking over to Sharon as she grinned at the brunette. "You know I know what you like, Sharon."
A smirk played on her lips as she glanced over her shoulder quickly, a little more brightness in her eyes than there had been in them before. "Yes, you most definitely do. And for that, I am eternally grateful."
. . .
Sharon knew it was only a matter of time before Andrea asked her what was wrong with her. She'd seen the worried looks Andrea kept throwing her way while they were in the kitchen, had felt the lingering hands on the small of her back and arms every now and then as they cooked. Andrea had waited patiently for her to bring it up herself, but Sharon had purposely been avoiding talking about what was bothering her because she wanted to enjoy the night with Andrea. They didn't have enough time alone anymore, and she didn't want to ruin the night with a conversation that might not end pleasantly.
"You know, this usually works better if I know what's wrong so I can figure out what you need to make you feel better," Andrea said lightly, laughing into her wine glass to make it sound as if she wasn't as worried as Sharon knew she was.
Casablanca had been white noise for a long while now, her attention clearly not on the flat screen in front of them. Her head had been resting on Andrea's shoulder, her legs curled underneath her, but her eyes were focused on where her knee touched Andrea's thigh and Andrea's hand rested. She'd been thinking – she'd been doing a lot of that since her drive to Andrea's house.
She covered Andrea's hand and rolled small circles over delicate skin. The side of her hand, from the tip of her thumb to the curve where it turned into a slender wrist, was remarkably sensitive. Sharon watched a long finger twitch and smiled, spirals like tight coils on creamy flesh. Andrea put her wine down on the side table with a soft click and then draped her arm over Sharon's shoulder, slowly stroking a blouse-covered upper arm before letting the weight of her limb settle atop Sharon. She pulled her in deeper to the warmth that grew hotter between their bodies, and Sharon sighed contently and let her lashes flutter, her eyes closing.
In moments like this she could understand why Andy felt the way he did about her relationship with Andrea. She and Andrea were tremendously comfortable around one another. They fell into step with each other, leaned into touches as if knowing when they were coming. Sharon's guard was always down with her, no walls or fences for protection. Andrea had been let in long ago and not even once had Sharon wanted her to leave. She had given Andrea access to parts of herself that she normally kept hidden away. Andrea was so often an exception to many rules Sharon put in place, and Sharon knew Andy was aware of that. Andy knew Sharon had not let anyone in far enough to find out what could mend her soul when she felt beyond repair, only Andrea.
She understood how Andy could be intimidated by what she shared with Andrea. Sharon liked what she had with Andy; he made her happy, obviously cared for her, and sometimes he was challenging in a way that made her blood boil in her veins but didn't anger her. But there was no use comparing any of that with what Andrea did for her – it would always come up short. She and Andrea communicated on a different level, quite often without needing to say anything at all. She'd witness his reaction to the way Andrea calmed her by only holding her gaze from across the room, noticed after she had nodded to Andrea and let out a long breath and gave her a soft smile the way Andy tensed, jaw tight. He couldn't do that. Nobody could, only Andrea.
What Sharon didn't understand, however, was why Andy couldn't understand that her relationship with Andrea did not need to have any impact on the one she had with Andy.
Andrea had been a major part of her life for a little more than ten years, her best friend, her support, her confidant, the one person she could always count on to be there when she needed someone. She and Andy had only been seeing each other romantically for a few months, friendly enough to consider themselves real friends for less than two years. It was unreasonable of him to expect that they could have the same connection that Andrea and she had built over the course of a decade. The complete, unwavering trust they had didn't come easily, and Sharon already found it difficult enough to trust people when her heart was involved. She'd been hurt too badly in the past, her trust taken advantage of too many times by Jack for her to freely hand it out to just anyone.
The hand on her arm started to gently rub, fingers stroking restlessly. Sharon turned her head into the side of Andrea's neck and let her nose brush warm skin, a familiar desire to get closer, so much closer, zipping through her the way fire did when meeting gasoline.
"Are we going to talk?" Andrea asked quietly, her voice cracking slightly. Sharon had moved in closer, tempted by the mixture of intoxicating scents that clung to Andrea's skin. She nuzzled and made a noise in her throat.
Sharon didn't want to talk. Sharon didn't even want to think anymore. She'd been doing a lot of that the last 24 hours, and honestly, Sharon was feeling exhausted from it. She wanted to bury herself in the warmth that Andrea always carried with her, fill her lungs with the scent of her skin, of her hair, revel in the sound Andrea made when Sharon breathed in and hummed. Sharon wanted to forget about the day she had and the thoughts that had taken over her brain. She just wanted to be with Andrea.
"Not right now."
"Okay," Andrea said carefully, her fingers pausing on Sharon's arm.
Sharon could practically hear her mentally counting down from five. After that, Andrea would try again. It was a routine Sharon was rather familiar with. She smiled against Andrea's neck, counting along with her.
Five.
Four.
Three.
Two.
One.
"How about we move somewhere more comfortable first? Hmm? Then will you talk to me about whatever it is that's upsetting you so badly that you didn't even finish your second glass of wine? Must be pretty serious for that to happen," Andrea said, her teasing smile audible at the end, but her concern still heavy.
"More comfortable," Sharon repeated, her voice low as she moved so she could look at Andrea in the dark room. Casablanca was still playing, and the light from the television casted shadows on the blonde's makeup-less face. "Is this how you plan on getting me into bed tonight, Andrea?" she said with a small, playful smirk. "Under the guise of moving somewhere more comfortable?"
Andrea rolled her eyes and poked Sharon's side with her fingers. "I'm planning on having a heart to heart with you, nothing else." Sharon hummed and laughed in her throat. Andrea licked her lips, biting back a grin as she glanced at Sharon out of the corner of her eye. "And of course I wouldn't say no to more of this," she said, squeezing Sharon's hip and holding her tight to make it clear what she meant.
Sharon hummed and laid her head back down on Andrea's shoulder, exhaling quietly. "You don't play fair, Andrea Hobbs. You know that's an offer I wouldn't turn down."
Andrea leaned her head against the top of Sharon's head as she said: "That's why I offered it. I want to make sure you're okay, and if giving up half of my huge bed and suffering through holding you is the way to do it..." Andrea shrugged, her body shaking a little with the laughter Sharon could tell she was holding in.
Sharon swatted Andrea's thigh and rolled her eyes, a smile twitching at her lips. "It may have been a while, but don't think I don't remember how much you enjoy having me in your bed."
Andrea hummed and sneaked her hand beneath Sharon's shirt. Sharon shivered instantly, a pulse of familiar warmth accompanying Andrea's touch. It was just for a few seconds, Andrea's fingers dancing across her stomach, up towards her ribs, and then back down as Sharon bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself from releasing the low moan that she could feel trying to escape. Then, slowly, so very slowly that it felt like Andrea was considering sliding her hand back up instead of down, those smooth, warm fingers slipped away and Andrea brushed her shirt back into place.
Sharon had meant to stay quiet, unsure if Andrea wanted her to comment on the touch or not, but she heard the words escaping her mouth in a raspy whisper before she could stop them.
"I've missed the way that feels - the way you feel."
(Sharon wasn't sure she would have stopped them, anyway. It was the truth, and honesty was one of the things both she and Andrea thought were important in their friendship.)
. . .
Andrea closed her eyes and breathed in through her nose, feeling a rush of heat shoot up her neck and to her face. Sharon's voice took on that same raspy quality when she was aroused, and it was times like this that she wished she didn't know that. Andrea's heart beat at an abnormal pace, harsh thumps that she could feel against her chest.
Sharon stilled, and then after a second, she shifted, her legs untucking and stretching out in front of her. "I shouldn't have said that," she said with a frown, pulling away completely.
Andrea reached out and took Sharon's hand into her own, keeping her from standing when she was about to get up, wrapping around Sharon's flexing fingers. "No, please don't go."
Sharon didn't meet her eyes. She looked straight ahead to the television that played the movie they were supposed to be watching but hadn't paid much attention to. Andrea slowly let go off her arm and turned around, back now to the arm of the sofa so she was facing Sharon. Sharon still wouldn't look at her, but she did relax back into the seat.
"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."
Andrea smiled sadly. "Oh, honey, you didn't. You didn't, I swear. It was just... Unexpected." It shouldn't have been, not after everything they'd shared.
Sharon's brow lifted, her hands flexing in her lap. Andrea watched the movement of the other woman's fingers until they relaxed. "Unexpected," Sharon repeated in that careful tone of hers.
Andrea worked her hand through her hair and contemplated finishing off her wine, the glass right behind her, but quickly decided against it. It wouldn't settle the nerves in her stomach, not when they were mixed with the subtle tingling of arousal.
They were both quiet for a few minutes, motionless. Andrea was mentally chiding herself for giving into the urge she had to feel Sharon's skin. It had been her friend's comment about Andrea enjoying having Sharon in her bed that turned what was usually a controllable desire into one she felt unable to resist. Andrea regretted giving in almost as soon as she had done so. With that touch, she had broken a rule she'd given herself a few months back: no touching beneath clothes.
Regret had never been the reaction she received when touching Sharon in the past. She had never needed to worry about whether or not it was all right to do so, if it was wrong. It was another one of the things that had changed since Sharon started seeing Andy romantically. There was now someone else to think about, a third person in the equation who complicated what had been rather simple before. Now, Andrea worried about boundaries that had never existed before; she worried that she'd cross a line by doing something that Sharon had once been more than comfortable with.
Andrea respected the relationship Sharon had with Andy. Respecting that relationship meant not doing anything to jeopardize it.
Andrea had dated two women in the beginning of her friendship with Sharon, one for five months when she and Sharon were just starting to get close, and the other a year later for a shorter period of time. Neither relationship had ended well, and she had gone years without dating until she met a woman who she'd thought it could have worked out with. It didn't. After a while it became very clear to Andrea that she couldn't have both a serious relationship with another woman and have the kind that was developing between her and Sharon. She had committed herself to Sharon in a way not many people understood, and if she ever found herself needing to pick between Sharon and someone else, the choice would always be Sharon.
It was simpler when Sharon hadn't dated, when she hadn't wanted to. Morales said she didn't need to date anyone because she was already dating Andrea - they'd both laughed about it at the time, but later there had been a long discussion about their feelings for each other. Andrea admitted to both her love for the woman and her attraction that had most likely been obvious - she'd never thought to hide it - and while Sharon shared those same feelings for her, there had been the understanding that acknowledging what they felt did not change anything. And Andrea hadn't seen why anything needed to change, had been happy with the way things were between them.
The problem was everybody else's need to throw a label on what she and Sharon were. Neither of them had needed it. They were more than friends; they were also less than lovers, but somehow something more. Andrea had joked about them being in a sexless marriage, chuckling over drinks one night after finishing dinner. She hadn't meant anything by it, but it had hit a nerve. That was the night Andrea first got a real look at what the end of Sharon's marriage with Jack was like before the separation, and also when they first slept in the same bed together. The words 'sexless' and 'marriage' were never spoken in the same sentence again when referring to the two of them, but it was still as close to adequately describing their relationship as Andrea had ever gotten.
They didn't have sex, but they held each other, cuddled, and from time to time they indulged in intimate caresses that never went anywhere. Andrea had gotten the feeling that it had been a long time since Sharon had simply been held by someone, and Andrea had missed the feeling of a warm body pressed against her. It didn't surprise her how easily Sharon had sank into her embrace that first night. However, she hadn't expected how often they would find themselves in each other's beds after that. Andrea learned a lot about Sharon when they were alone in bed. They talked for hours until they fell asleep. It wasn't uncommon for a hand to absently caress underneath a shirt, or fingers to play along the curve of a spine, the dip of a waist, sometimes more, touches that got their blood rushing. It was always natural - they were comfortable with each other, and it showed most when they were alone at night.
They also didn't kiss. Well, they didn't kiss often. In the beginning they had never done it. The first time Andrea kissed Sharon it was the same year she'd taken Rusty in, a tender stroke of lips that only lasted a handful of seconds and was meant to calm her when she was full of worry. The first time Sharon had initiated a kiss between them had been the night Jack left the envelope inside her apartment and disappeared after worming his way into Rusty's life. Andrea had spent the night with her, listening to Sharon's frustrations, her anger, and then sadness that had morphed into more frustration. The kiss was a thank you, soft and hesitant, her lips barely brushing Andrea's own while she intertwined their fingers.
Kisses on the mouth were rare and usually chaste.
But, Sharon kissed Andrea on the neck when they cuddled, and sometimes when they hugged.
Andrea had kissed Sharon's back many times while giving her massages.
They both kissed the other more often at night - it was their private time together, where it was just them, and Andrea thought it felt right that way.
They never kissed in front of other people.
Until Sharon started dating Andy, Andrea never questioned what she was allowed to do and what was off-limits. As complex as their relationship might have seemed to people on the outside, it was rather simple. If they enjoyed doing something together, they did it. If it made them happy, they did it. But now that Sharon was no longer single, Andrea knew it wasn't that uncomplicated. She had to consider if Sharon was okay with her doing certain things while she was seeing someone. She had to consider that maybe, while Sharon had been comfortable with her displaying her love for the other woman however she saw fit in the past, she no longer felt that it was appropriate.
. . .
Sharon broke the silence after a few minutes, clearing her throat. "Should I go?" She sounded uncertain, despite her effort to keep her voice steady as she spoke.
Andrea looked up from the spot on Sharon's lap that she had been focused on. "I would like it if you stayed," Andrea said with a small smile. "I meant what I said. You didn't make me uncomfortable, Sharon. Unless I've made this too awkward for you, I really do want you here tonight."
Sharon nodded. "Not at all." She dropped her hand down on Andrea's knee and squeezed, thumb brushing over a bone, smiling at her. "I meant what I said as well," she whispered. She wouldn't elaborate on what she meant, but she didn't think it was necessary that she did.
Andrea covered her hand and let her small smile blossom into a brighter, bigger one that made Sharon's breath catch in her throat. "How about we stop pretending like we're watching this movie now and move to the bedroom, then?"
Sharon laughed, the tension that had formed in her body loosening as she nodded. "Good idea."
to be continued...
