If It Means A Lot To You by A Day To Remember
Listening to my iPod had become my only escape lately. The music spoke to my soul and made me feel things deeper that I ever had before. As the opening notes began I was drawn to a not so distant memory.
And hey darling, I hope you're good tonight. And I know you don't feel right when I'm leaving.
"Edward, you haven't changed at all have you? You're still the controlling prude little asshole aren't you?!" I yelled at him. I never yelled at Edward, but something inside of m had snapped. I was fed up with his brooding. I wanted to be changed and after our visit to Italy, I was more certain of it than ever. He yelled and pitched a fit when I brought it up with the family. Everyone agreed except for him and Rosalie. Carlisle agreed to change me after graduation causing Edward to stalk out of the house. Edward and I fought that night. I believed that he didn't want me for forever, and he believed that he was damning my soul. I finally told him that I would be changed with or without him, and if he wanted to be the one to do it, he needed a serious attitude check. It's been four months since that night and he was still angry with my choice. He tried very hard to be better, but as the moths turned into weeks and the weeks into days before graduation he gradually let his true feelings show. "Edward, I'm done. I can't do this anymore. You told me that you would change, but I believe now more than ever before that you don't want me. Please don't be there when Carlisle changes me, and don't wait for me to wake up. I can't do this anymore."
I came back into the present with a shudder. Edward left that night and I have only seen him once since my change. I wanted to be his friend and work from there to try to rediscover the love we shared, but he said that it hurt too much to be only my friend and he left. The last I heard of him, he was in South America tracking Victoria.
You know you can't give me what I need, and even though you mean so much to me, I can't wait through everything. Is this really happening? I swear I'll never be happy again, and don't you dare say we can just be friends. I'm not some boy that you can sway. We knew it'd happen eventually.
