Letters: Part II


Last night we got into out first fight. We've been living together for six months now and last night was the first. After she had returned from the party with the other ex-hime, Natsuki seemed rather aggravated. As she opened the door, all I could hear were low grumbles and faint curses. Something must have gone wrong. I had arranged everything just perfectly as a good friend should do. On the coffee table before the couch in the living room I had a sandwich laid out for her, a small bowl of mayonnaise resting beside it. Next to that I had placed a glass of milk; Natsuki was never really picky about what she drank so much as it wasn't anything too bitter.

I remember it clearly. The front door to the small apartment we shared was slammed shut – I could have sworn it cracked on its hinges. Natsuki stormed across the small space, plopped down in front of the television, turned it on, and then absent mindedly reached back for the food she knew would be waiting. My routines in the apartment had become like clockwork. Anything to keep my Natsuki happy. In an attempt to pacify the raging wolf, I went like a lamb to the slaughter, offering myself as redemption for whatever wrongs had been caused.

At first all I received were angry shouts. By then I was sure all our neighbours had been awoken from their once peaceful slumber. It was Nao. Causing a ruckus again, she had explained when she was finally able to use words. Yuuki-san had apparently said something, though Natsuki would not say what, that was simply unforgivable. It had been when they were all parting ways, Yuuki-san perhaps having had a tad too much to drink. I tried to explain to Natsuki that the young girl was simply troubled. Not having a mother to raise her, and heavy bills to pay, Yuuki-san simply needed time.

I'm sure you're enjoying this. I, Fujino Shizuru, siding with Yuuki Nao; of all the possible people. Yes, as strange as it may seem it is true. I had sided with Yuuki-san. During the Carnival I had despised the young girl for I thought she held an interest in my Natsuki. I couldn't fathom such an idea! So, like any, or rather some, jealous women, I fought back, willing to disgrace myself for the one I loved.

Though this was not even what had sparked our fight. No, what had initiated our first true argument was the current swollen state of my left hand. Now bandaged up, and considerably better then last night, this hand had been the cause of our battle. A hand. My hand.

I suppose I should tell you how my hand became swollen in the first place. You see last night, after Natsuki's departure, my state of mind was not fairing all too well. Caught between love and friendship, I was a wreck. Furniture tossed about, floor littered with knick-knacks, I laid at the focal point of the disaster. Upon the floor, make-up smeared and sobbing, I didn't know what to think of my relationship with her. I loved her yet I knew she did not love me in return. Even so, she tempted me so – taking me on shopping outings, movies, doing homework together, and even offering a hug on her own accord a few odd times. Her behaviour confused me, puzzled me to my core and in fact still does. As best friends it is normal to care for the other, but could it be more? I always hoped.

Last night, my calm, proper composure had snapped. Unable to contain it any more I feel apart, yet again. In the midst of all that I had lashed out at the wall, hoping to release some of my pent up emotion. However no such luck. Instead I hit a support beam in the wall, the drywall cracking but not giving way. Searing pain shot through my fist, then my arm. I deserved it.

However, Natsuki did not seem to agree. Cradling my hand in hers, another action that confused me, ripping me apart, she belittled be for being so foolish. As she spoke, pulling me off to the bathroom to tend to my hand, I cracked. My mask, for the second time, broke. Tears slide down my face, my puffy red eyes returning. Enraged I tore my hand from hers, eliciting a gasp from her. Never before had I ever spoken back. Never before had I spoken to her unkindly. The rest was a blur. I remember yelling at her for the first time ever. I confessed to my heart raked in turmoil. To never knowing what to do when she showed me any displays of affection. And most of all, how I had never stopped loving her. Then, turning fast on my heels not waiting for her response, I ran out of the apartment, taking nothing with me.

I spent most of the night wandering aimlessly, having no place to go. You had been the closest thing, aside from Natsuki, that I had as a friend and even then we were still more or less acquaintances who had worked together for a time.

By the time I had cooled my head, letting the events of the night sink in, it was well past six in the morning, the sun was already beginning to peak up over the horizon. Feeling a wave of tiredness wash over me, my legs brought me back to the apartment, as if with a mind of their own. When I entered I noticed a passed out Natsuki on the couch, beer bottles littering the once clean surface. As usual she was being reckless. I had grabbed a blanket from the closet, ensuring she would not get cold, cleaned up the twenty-seven cans with a heavy sigh before retreating to my room.

By the time I had awoken, Natsuki was long gone. A note on the table indicated she would be staying with Mai-san for a few days and not to worry.

How can I not worry when I am losing my Natsuki for the second time? Ara, I am thinking too much again. I simply need to get out of this apartment and get away from it all. Perhaps I should take up that nice girl's offer, what was her name…. Nami? … yes that was her name. Perhaps I will take Nami-san up on her offer and join her at the club tonight. It would sure be a good way to get my mind off these things.

Sincerely,

Shizuru


Into the name bar she typed: Reito Kanzaki before clicking that finalizing button.

Message Sent

Closing the laptop and returning it to its place under the bed, the young woman let out a sigh, "I love you Natsuki…" She whispered to the open air of her room. The room itself was simple, a traditional Western double size bed, desk, dresser, bookshelf, and a few odd pictures. Nothing glamorous. Going to her dresser Shizuru pulled out a cute black dress she had bought with Natsuki on one of their shopping trips, "But sometimes loving you hurts too much."

Slipping on the black dress, tying her hair back and applying a few daps of make-up, Shizuru flipped open her phone, punching at unfamiliar numbers.

Ring

Ring

Ring

"Hello?"

"Ara, hello Nami-san, I was wondering if it was too late to take you up on your offer?"