DEATH IS PAINFUL WHEN IT'S NOT YOU
Charlie sounded urgent on the phone and yet at the same time distraught. I hung up the phone immediately. Edward wrapped his arms around me.
He spoke softly. "Let's go see Charlie."
"You know what's wrong, don't you?"
He didn't speak, just grasped my hand tightly and led me towards his car.
"What about Nessie? Should she come along, to see Charlie, I mean. She might cheer him up."
"Love, I don't think she should hear this quite yet. Besides, she's in La Push with Jacob and the pack. Let her have her fun."
I didn't like the way Edward was behaving. Something terrible has happened. But for the life of me, I couldn't think of anything that could be wrong.
Our drive to my dad's house was silent. My composure has become impeccable since my new life has begun, but I could not resist fidgeting slightly. It's as if there's still this human part of me; a part that can't be forgotten.
We pulled into the drive and I took in a shallow breath. What was coming was horrendous.
I didn't bother knocking. I just busted through the door.
"DAD? I screamed.
Charlie's house had an interesting smell. Mostly, the smell was of human blood, but there was also a hint of pine, denim, and fish.
"Bells….come sit with me."
"Dad, you're scaring me. What's going on?"
I went and sat by my father and took his hand in mine. He cringed at first, but was overall used to my new temperature.
Edward stayed by the kitchen opening, leaning against the wall.
"Bella, your mother was in an accident." I said nothing. I just continued to stare at my father, not even blinking. I had to remember to breathe, or at least pretend to.
"Phil and your mother were headed to Atlanta for one of Phil's games. It was storming and they lost control."
I knew what was coming. I didn't want him to go on. If my heart was beating, it would have stopped at this very moment.
"Dad, please don't saying anything else…." He stared at me with sunken eyes. "They're gone…mom's gone."
I felt little pressure, but could tell Charlie was trying to squeeze my hand.
I glared at Edward much too quickly for Charlie to notice.
Edward came and knelt by me. "I'm so sorry Bella."
He kissed my hair and then walked out the front door; to let me have some time with Charlie. We would definitely talk later.
I stayed with Charlie until the sun began to set. We seemed to talk for hours about Renee. When Charlie first met her, how I was the greatest product of their marriage, and how he would always love her. To lighten the mood, he would bring up every good memory.
I barely listened to dad's story of how mom bought me my first ice cream cone. He'd told this story almost every year on my birthday anyway….all I could do was sit and stare at the picture of us as a family on the end table next to dad. I was 10 or 11. It was Christmas and my mother decided she could stand 2 days in Forks long enough to give me a traditional family Christmas. It was the most uncomfortable experience of my life. Mom would leave to call Phil on her cell almost every hour. Dad trying to reconnect with me…..let's just say there was no joy in my world then. I remembered getting a miniature fishing pole while my mother bought me a designer blouse…..neither of which was really my style.
"Bella?...Bella?"
"What? Sorry dad, I'm just a little out of it."
"I know sweety. This is a lot to handle. Maybe you could bring Nessie over tomorrow and we'll tell her…..or would you prefer to tell her yourself…with Edward?"
"No dad. I'll bring her over tomorrow and we'll tell her together." There was no way I was letting Edward help me in telling my daughter, when he couldn't even tell ME himself.
"The funeral is Saturday. I thought we could fly down there together?"
"Of course dad. We'll talk tomorrow."
I kissed dad on the forehead and without looking at him, I walked out the door. Edward was leaning against the car and came to put his arms around me. I hugged him in return, but a little hesistant…he noticed.
"Bella? I'm so very sorry about your mother. Is there anything I can do to help you through this?"
I grabbed my cell phone from my pocket and called my mother's cell. It went straight to voicemail.
"Hey! This is Renee! Sorry I missed you, but leave a message and I'll get right back to ya! Bye!"
I closed my eyes, as if to sleep. Edward put both hands at my face.
"Bella, love? Please tell me what you are thinking?"
I don't think he wanted the answer to that.
