It had been so long since Yuuri had last set foot in Hasetsu. There were many reasons why he hadn't come back before that moment. He tried to keep skating after what he could only describe as 'the incident' that was Sochi. He had tried to train, to keep motivated. There was only so much he could do when he had humiliated himself not only in front of the world, but in front of his idol. His idol who would no longer be competing. That thought haunted him, the thought that he had completely blown his one chance to show Viktor how important he was to the skating community. With each failure, Yuuri's resolve crumbled, until finally he had cut ties with Celestino. Now he'd finished college, heading back home just seemed like the obvious choice to make.
It had been a year since that fateful day in Sochi, that day where everything just seemed to fall apart around him. Yuuri was determined to leave it behind. Of course, that was easier said than done when everyone in his hometown knew who he was. He could hear the murmurs as he stepped off the plane. The people surrounding him were all wondering why Yuuri Katsuki was back home so soon. It took all his self-control not to respond. Because I failed. Because I don't belong on the ice. Because I'm not good enough.
The thoughts were promptly cut off as an all too familiar voice rang through the airport, "Yuuri! Welcome home!" And just as quickly as the voice began speaking, Yuuri was swept into a tight hug. He had to admit, it had caught him off guard. There were so many terrible thoughts running through his head over the months, he had convinced himself that no one would be pleased to see him return home. He should've known that his dance instructor wouldn't just give up on him.
Hesitantly, he wrapped his arms around Minako, allowing himself to smile, "Good to be back."
She pulled away from the hug, taking Yuuri by the wrist and beginning to drag him from the airport. There was this feeling of familiarity that came with the gesture. He could recall so many times when the older woman had grabbed his arm and dragged him out of his room, encouraging him to stop wallowing in self-pity and show the world his talents. He never really believed he had any to show, but he would always indulge her. Minako wasn't one to take no for an answer, and Yuuri was never up for the fight. He had to admit that her determination had taken him far, though. Yuuri couldn't possibly have learned to move the way he did on the ice without her help. If only he had been able to show that in Sochi. If only he hadn't let her down.
"Come on, everyone's been dying to see you." With those words hanging in the air, Yuuri stopped in his tracks, causing the woman still holding his arm to stop and turn back to him, "What?" She sighed softly, seeming to understand his silent apprehension, "You made it to the finals. We're all proud of you. No one thinks any less of you after what happened, Yuuri."
I do. Yuuri's eyes were fixed on the ground. It had been so long since Sochi, and every time he thought maybe he had finally gotten over the humiliation, he remembered it all over again. Sometimes he wondered if this would follow him to the grave, if he'd still remember this horrible feeling when he's old and grey. But of course, he would. He knew he would. This wasn't the kind of feeling you could just forget, no matter how much he might want to. The thought of being in a room of people who knew he'd messed up was just too painful. Yuuri kept his eyes on the ground, biting his lip, "I just want to go home."
"But everyone wants to see you." Minako's voice wasn't quite so demanding anymore. Her grip on his arm had loosened. She knew that no matter how much she wanted to, this wasn't something she could force on him.
"Please, Minako." Reluctantly, Yuuri finally met her eyes, "It was a long flight. I want to get some rest." He wasn't lying. Not completely. The flight from Detroit to Japan had two stops, and lasted twenty-two hours. He was exhausted just thinking about it. Of course, the thought of seeing people and trying to act like he wasn't completely humiliated wasn't something he wanted to have to deal with either. Maybe once he'd had more than a few hours of sleep.
Luckily for Yuuri, Minako seemed to accept this and finally conceded, heading instead towards Yu-topia. The last hot springs remaining in the town of Hasetsu. The place he'd called home for most of his life. It had been so long since he last set foot in Yu-topia, it felt almost surreal as they stepped inside. It felt like nothing had changed, though. The walls all decorated the same way, the familiar scent of his mother's cooking. It was at this moment he could understand what people meant when they said there's no place like home. In all his time spent traveling and attempting to achieve his dream, no where had felt as comforting as this did. He was starting to wonder why he'd left in the first place.
"Hiroko, guess who's home!" Minako called out from behind him in a sing-song voice and Yuuri couldn't help but smile. Things felt so… normal. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so welcome. And just as that thought entered his mind, his mother was rushing into the room, pulling him into her arms.
"It's so good to have you back." Her voice was so sincere as she held Yuuri tightly against her, and he really didn't know how to feel. There was guilt, certainly. His mother had watched that performance live. She saw his failure. After all the faith she had put in him, he had let her down. There was nothing he could do to take that back, and it hurt. Yet still, he was just so happy to see her, and she was so welcoming.
Yuuri wrapped his arms around his mother, holding her close and letting himself indulge in that feeling he'd missed so much.
"You must be starving, let me get you something to eat." Hiroko reluctantly let go of her son, her smile beaming. Normally, Yuuri would've taken her up on the offer. No one could cook quite like his mother did, and he hadn't tasted her food in years. Still, he was just so exhausted after his flights, and he knew that if he didn't go rest, it'd be enough for Minako to drag him back out that door to greet whoever she'd planned for him to see.
"Thanks mom, but I think I'm just going to lay down for a while. It was a long flight." He smiled reassuringly, knowing that if he didn't, she'd probably worry.
"Oh, alright dear. Your room's just the way you left it. If you need anything, just let us know, okay?"
Yuuri nodded, "Thanks, mom." And with that, he made his way up to the room he'd grown up in. It felt strange, walking down the hall towards his bedroom. It'd been such a long time, but everything was just the same. It was as though Hasetsu had been frozen in time while he was gone. Nothing had changed, that's how it felt. Nothing, but him. Yuuri had changed a lot, though not exactly for the better. He was just as anxious and self-conscious. He was just as afraid to open up to those around him. He was just as afraid in general, really. Maybe he hadn't changed so much after all…
Opening his bedroom door, Yuuri froze. It really was just the way he'd left it. It took him a moment to get himself to move again, stepping into the small room he'd called his for so long. Dragging his bag in with him, Yuuri closed the door behind him and sat on the edge of his bed, just taking in his room. Everything was familiar. Including the myriad of posters plastered all over his walls, Viktor Nikiforov's flawless features staring back at him. A reminder that he had failed. He wasn't good enough to skate on the same ice as Viktor. He never would be. Yuuri sighed softly, getting to his feet and slowly beginning the process of taking each poster from his walls. He didn't need them anymore. It wasn't as though they inspired him anymore, they just reminded him that Viktor Nikiforov was there, he'd watched Yuuri fail. Sighing softly, Yuuri tossed the posters into the corner of the room, laying back on his bed and staring at the ceiling. It had been so long, and nothing had changed. He was still as weak as ever. With thoughts of failure, retirement, ice, and a Russian god in his mind, Yuuri drifted to sleep.
OoOoO
Yuuri couldn't be sure of just how long he'd slept for. It was dark out by the time he'd finally woken up and he had to admit it was nice to be able to sleep so soundly for so long. Reaching for the phone beside him on the bed, he held it up, the light blinding him for a moment as he checked the time. Seven o'clock. He still had time. Sitting up in the bed, he grabbed his glasses, slipping them on and tugged on his shoes. He didn't know why, but the ice still had a way of calling him. He still felt that need to skate, even if he did just want to give it up. It wasn't where he belonged, but it was where he wanted to be.
Yuuri rushed down the stairs, calling out that he was leaving, and before anyone had a chance to say anything he was out the door and running down the street. Yuuri had run along this path so many times, always heading to Ice Castle. It was strange for him to consider any ice rink a sanctuary after the last year, but he found himself drawn to Ice Castle, knowing that it would be the one place he'd feel safe to indulge in a past time he should've given up long ago.
Making his way inside, he noticed how empty the place was. It wasn't all that surprising, really. Technically, they were closed. The only reason those doors were still open was because the staff were still inside, packing away skates and preparing for the next day. Sure enough, as Yuuri slowly walked inside, looking around the familiar space, he heard a voice he'd long since grown accustom to, even if it had been a long time, "Sorry, we're closed!"
Yuuri nodded to himself, knowing the woman wasn't looking his way. His hands were in his pockets, his eyes on the ground. Once he had finally reached the front desk, he worked up the courage to speak, "I don't suppose you could make an exception just this once…?"
"Yuuri…?" The girl's voice was barely a whisper as she finally turned to see the dark-haired man standing at the front desk, his eyes fixed to the ground, "Is that really you…?"
Yuuri took a shaky breath as he looked up at her, offering a smile as he nodded. That was apparently all she needed to get excited. She practically leapt over the counter to hug him. Yuuko Nishigori. The girl who had introduced him to the ice. The girl who had introduced him to figure skating, and Viktor Nikiforov. Her chestnut brown eyes always so filled with love, and care, and hope. Yuuko had been the one to push him to pursue his dreams. She had always believed that he would skate on the same ice as Viktor one day, and she had never stopped believing in Yuuri's abilities. He was lucky to have a friend like her.
Reluctantly pulling away, her smile was so bright and warm as she looked up at him, "I can't believe you're here! How have you been!?" The excitement was so clear in her voice and Yuuri couldn't help but smile. It was nice to know that despite the mistakes of the past, people weren't holding it against him. Maybe it wasn't quite as bad as he had made it out to be.
"Oh, you know. Same old." Yuuri shrugged, offering her a small smile. He didn't want to get into the details. He gave up on skating, but stayed in Detroit for college. Now he was home and had no idea what he was supposed to do with his life. It wasn't the most inspiring of stories. Yuuko had surely seen the mess that was Sochi, though. And sure enough, she didn't ask any questions, simply handing Yuuri a pair of skates.
"The rink's all yours."
"Are you sure?" Of course, this was what Yuuri had hoped for when he made his way to Ice Castle; an evening free of people, to simply skate on his own without worrying about anything else. Still, he didn't want that to make Yuuko's job more difficult.
Yuuko simply flashed him another one of her smiles, "Of course it is, you know you're always welcome here."
"Thanks, Yuuko." Yuuri looked down at the skates in his hands for a moment. He was lucky to have a friend like her, someone who hadn't given up on him despite his countless number of failures. He was starting to realise that most of his friends and family seemed to feel similarly. If only the rest of the world could grant him that kindness. If only his own mind could let Sochi go.
OoOoO
Viktor Nikiforov had spent the last year since his retirement helping Yakov to train Mila and Yuri. Occasionally Georgi would ask Viktor to teach him something, but mostly it was Mila and Yuri who fought for his attention. It wasn't so bad, really. They both had so much potential, Viktor was sure they could both go far. It only helped that they were so determined to prove themselves. Though Viktor was no longer skating competitively, he was still able to skate if he was helping them. He was sure that alone was the only reason Yakov had stopped nagging him to reconsider his retirement. Perhaps the older man thought that the longer Viktor stayed on the ice, the sooner he'd give in to temptation. Maybe that would've worked, too. If only Yuuri Katsuki had held up his end of the bargain.
Viktor had kept tabs on Yuuri ever since the night of the banquet a year ago. He was determined to see Yuuri reach the podium, though part of him didn't want him to get gold just so that he could get that dance. Still, Viktor knew he was more than capable of it. So why did the Japanese man who had his full attention since that day seem to disappear from existence? From Viktor's searches, he could see that Yuuri wasn't exactly the kind of person to take to social media. He had an Instagram account that he never used, and Viktor was sure he only had it to keep up with his friends. He had no twitter account, no other social media accounts at all. Yuuri was a mystery. Viktor really didn't mind. From Sochi, he could see that Yuuri Katsuki was not the kind of person who handled media well, so of course it made sense for him to avoid it at all costs. Still, the final straw was when he didn't appear at the Fukuoka Grand Prix Final. They had made a deal, and Viktor had never been more serious about anything as he was about this deal.
And that was how Viktor Nikiforov found himself walking down the streets of Hasetsu with his loyal poodle, Makkachin at his side. He needed answers, and if Yuuri had given up, he needed that dance. Still, even in Hasetsu, Yuuri had made himself difficult to find. Viktor had asked many people where he could find him and though a lot of them knew who he was, few knew if he was even in Hasetsu. Viktor couldn't think of anywhere else he'd be, though. Finally, he'd been guided by a kind stranger to the doors of Yu-topia Katsuki. Surely if he was going to find Yuuri anywhere, it would be here.
As he walked into the hot springs, the first thing he noticed was how homely it felt. It was clearly a place filled with love and he couldn't help but be glad Yuuri had been brought up in such a warm environment. Those thoughts were interrupted as a woman came to welcome him, bowing politely and he was reminded that this was Japan and definitely not Russia. As the woman stood up straight once more, he caught a glimpse of her eyes and he was sure his heart stopped for a moment. Those eyes. The only difference from those eyes that had entranced him back in Sochi was the wisdom of years that had replaced the innocence.
"I… uh…" Viktor had once again been caught off guard, but was saved by Makkachin as his faithful poodle jumped up at the woman, barking playfully.
"Oh, what a precious thing, he looks just like our Yuuri's Vicchan." She wasted no time, kneeling to rub behind the poodle's ears, a gesture which was greedily accepted.
Viktor was grateful for the moment to think, as well as that little tidbit of information. She'd more or less confirmed that Yuuri has at least been here. Viktor made a mental note to get Makkachin some more of his favorite treats. "He'll do anything for a bit of attention." Viktor chuckled, brushing his bangs from his eyes, "You said Yuuri, yes? You wouldn't by any chance mean Yuuri Katsuki?"
"Oh yes, of course." The woman stood up straight once more, a caring smile proudly on display as she spoke, "Are you a friend of Yuuri's?"
"Ty mog skazat' eto." Viktor spoke softly, offering the woman one of his famous smiles, "Is he staying here?"
"Yuuri lives here." She kept that kind smile as she spoke, "But if you're looking for him, I'm afraid he isn't here right now."
Viktor nodded hesitantly as he listened to her, "Do you happen to know where he is at the moment? I really need to speak with him."
"When he isn't here, you'll usually find him at Ice Castle. It's a skating rink not too far from here. I can give you directions if you'd like."
The woman was just so kind and helpful and Viktor silently hoped that Yuuri had inherited that kindness, because it was incredibly endearing. After getting directions from the woman he had found out was Yuuri's mother, he asked for a room, unsure of exactly how long he was going to be staying in Hasetsu. With that encounter out of the way, Viktor once again was walking along the streets with his poodle in tow, this time with much more purpose to his strides. Yuuri was still spending time at the local rink. That was a good sign, it meant he hadn't completely given up on the sport. That just left him with more questions, though. If he hadn't given up on the sport, why wasn't he at the Grand Prix Final? Why wasn't he skating in competitions?
It didn't take long to get to the ice rink, it really was close to Yu-topia. He pushed open the door, walking over to the front desk just in time to hear a woman call out, "Sorry, we're closed!"
Viktor couldn't help but smile as Makkachin jumped up, resting his front paws on the desk in front of them, "That's a shame, I was told I could find Yuuri Katsuki here."
The sound of his voice seemed to startle the woman who was in the middle of shelving a pair of skates. She whipped her head so fast in Viktor's direction, he was sure she had to have given herself whiplash. He simply watched in amusement as she looked between Viktor and Makkachin. A moment of silence passed between them before she finally squealed, holding her hands to her mouth to muffle the sound. "V-Viktor Nikiforov!" Her voice was still stifled by her hand, trying to calm herself down.
"Nice to meet you." Viktor smiled brightly, but that just seemed to cause the woman's hysterics to begin anew. He tilted his head to the side, waiting for her to calm down before he finally continued, "I heard Yuuri Katsuki would be here." He reiterated, hoping he'd get some answers. Of course, he was willing to go somewhere else if he had to in order to find him, but Viktor would really prefer to find him in a place like this.
With her breathing and excitement finally under control, the woman smiled, nodding emphatically, "Yes, o-of course. Yuuri's skating right now, would you like to join him?"
"That would be wonderful." He rested a hand on Makkachin's head, and suddenly Viktor was the one trying to hold back his excitement. He was finally going to see Yuuri on the ice again. Not only that, there seemed to be no one else here. Everyone had told him that Yuuri was like a different person when he had the room to himself. Viktor knew he would be forever grateful to this excited woman in front of him, "Prosti, I didn't catch your name."
"Oh, right. I'm Yuuko Nishigori, it's an honor to meet you!" And Viktor could see just how genuinely she felt those words. Were all the skaters in Hasetsu this fanatic? He wasn't sure. He certainly remembered how star struck Yuuri had been when they met. "Please, right this way."
Before he knew what was happening, Viktor was being offered some skates and ushered into the rink. The room was silent, aside from the soft sound of Yuuri's skates gliding across the ice. Viktor stayed quiet. He didn't want to disturb the other man. Not yet. Leaning against the barrier, he watched closely as Yuuri moved. The first thing he noticed was that step sequence. That all too familiar sequence that he'd seen a year before. Yuuri was skating the program from Sochi, but this time, as far as he was concerned, no one was watching. He had no one to judge him, and with that notion in mind, Yuuri was able to land every jump, moving with such perfectly calculated movements. Viktor knew Yuuri Katsuki had potential, but he never expected to see him moving like this. There was no music playing, but there didn't need to be. It was as though you could hear the music just by watching him. His body told the story all on its own.
As the program finally came to a close, Yuuko began to clap excitedly, bouncing up and down beside Viktor. It was so pleasing to know that Yuuri had such supportive people in his life. He had wanted to let the moment last a little bit longer, to enjoy how serene Yuuri seemed to be, but with Yuuko's clapping, he supposed now was as good a time as any to announce his presence. "It's a shame you didn't skate like that back in Sochi. You could've made it onto the podium." Viktor's voice was gentle and sincere as he spoke.
The Russian accent penetrated through Yuuri's defences. He shifted his gaze from the ice to see that Viktor Nikiforov was standing on the sidelines. Watching him. Taken off guard, Yuuri lost his balance, falling hard on the ice with a low grunt. This was a sight Viktor had become very familiar with. He was silently glad Yuuko had insisted he put on a pair of skates of his own, slipping off the guards and making his way onto the ice to help his fellow skater to his feet. Viktor held out a hand as he looked down at the dark-haired man, seeing that innocence and shock still in those eyes.
Yuuri didn't take his hand at first, sitting upright on the ice but never taking his eyes off Viktor. He was here. Why was he here? What business would he have in Hasetsu of all places? "V-Viktor. What… what are you doing here?" His voice was barely a whisper and if Viktor hadn't been standing right in front of him, he probably wouldn't have heard it.
"We have some business." It sounded so ominous, but Viktor's voice remained light.
"W-We do?" Yuuri was genuinely confused by the statement. What business could he possibly have with the Russian God of figure skating?
Viktor finally gave up on waiting for Yuuri to take his offered hand, instead reaching down and taking him by the arm, pulling him to his feet. The action seemed to immediately cause a blush to rise on his cheeks and Viktor couldn't help but think it was kind of adorable.
"We had a deal. Why weren't you at Fukuoka?"
Yuuri paused, trying to figure out what on Earth Viktor was talking about. And he really did wish he could figure it out because it was bad enough having his idol see him fail the way he had a year ago, but to let him down again just wouldn't fly. Still, Yuuri had no idea what Viktor meant. He had never spoken to Viktor before, why how could they possibly have a deal of any kind? "I… uh… wh-what deal?"
Viktor crossed his arms over his chest, "You're kidding, right? How could you forget?"
"I-I'm sorry, I really d-don't know what you're talking about." Yuuri had to repress the urge to get on his knees and beg for Viktor to forgive him.
It was at that moment that it finally clicked for Viktor. He rested his hand on his chin, his finger pressing against his lips as he thought about the situation, "Konechno… you had a lot to drink that night. I don't know why I didn't realise sooner."
Yuuri's eyes widened at the statement. He'd had a lot to drink? In front of Viktor? Oh god, what had he done? How much apologising was he going to need to do? He thought Sochi had been bad enough already, but for him to have gotten drunk in front of his idol, too? "I-I'm so sorry. When I'm drunk I don't r-really act rationally. If I did anything wrong, I-"
Before Yuuri could continue his thought, Viktor was skating closer, closing the gap between them. A hand rested on Yuuri's waist, the other resting on his chin, ensuring Yuuri was looking into his eyes. Now, Yuuri had had a lot of panic attacks in his life. He had felt his heart pounding in his chest plenty of times, but it had never felt quite like this. The blush was back to his cheeks, and even if Viktor's hand wasn't on his chin, he knew he couldn't possibly look away from those heavenly azure blue eyes. "You did nothing wrong, Yuuri. Nothing at all." Viktor's voice was so soft, Yuuri could feel the hot breath against his skin, and was the room getting warmer? He was sure the ice beneath them would melt at any moment.
"Then… w-why are you here?" When Yuuri finally found his voice, it came out just as soft as Viktor's had.
Just as quickly as Viktor had closed the gap between them, he'd stepped away again, crossing his arms over his chest. Yuuri's breath was still caught in his throat, his heart beating so hard in his chest he was sure Viktor could hear it.
"We made a deal at the banquet. If you won Gold at the Grand Prix Final, I would return to competitive skating." Viktor said it so simply. How could he have made a deal like that? He didn't believe in himself enough to make a deal like that. Though he supposed, at that time he had been so desperate not only to prove himself to Viktor, but to share the ice with him. He would've done just about anything to see Viktor skating again.
"Is… is that all the deal was?"
"No, actually." Viktor smiled and Yuuri could see him inch just a little bit closer, "If you lost, you would have to dance with me, with all the passion you'd shown at the banquet." Yuuri's eyes widened at that statement. All the passion he'd shown at the banquet? What the hell had he done with all the alcohol in his system? Why couldn't he remember? How much had he downed? He knew he was hurting that night, but to completely repress that entire evening? Viktor seemed to sense the confusion and uncertainty in Yuuri. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, holding it up with a bright, heart shaped smile, "I have pictures! Do you want to see?"
"No! No, no, no! Absolutely not!" Yuuri didn't want to know how much he'd humiliated himself. Just the failure of the skate was enough for a lifetime. At any other time, that smile would've had him swooning, but he was just so confused and nervous, and how the hell was this happening!? "I… um. Well, you see… I gave up skating after Sochi."
"And yet here you are." Viktor pointed out, his eyes never leaving Yuuri's. He had a point. Despite quitting the sport, Yuuri was still skating all the time. He couldn't help himself. He wanted to be on the ice. He wanted to belong there, even if he wasn't so sure he did.
Yuuri didn't acknowledge the statement, knowing that he couldn't really defend himself, "So I uh… I guess I owe you a dance…" He trailed off, staring at the ground. He really didn't want to do it. He knew he'd step all over Viktor's feet, but if it was what he owed him, he would just have to suck it up. He'd caused his idol enough disappointment already. That's what he had thought, at least. When he looked back up at Viktor, he saw that winning his dance didn't seem to make him happy, "…What?"
Viktor shook his head, "No, that's all wrong. You cannot simply give in. If it were that simple, I would have danced with you at the banquet. This needs to be a challenge." He paused, "Unless of course, you don't want to see me on the ice again."
The words cut deep into Yuuri. All he had wanted since the moment Viktor's retirement had been announced was to see him back on the ice. He kept telling himself that Viktor couldn't stay away forever, that he would come back one more time. He had to. Yuuri sighed sadly, looking at the ground, "It's not that I don't want to…"
"So, what is the problem?"
"I have no coach." Yuuri pointed out. He knew full well that Celestino wasn't going to take him back.
"Who says you need one? You have a dance instructor, yes?"
"She's not a skater, though."
"What about Yuuko?" Viktor questioned, gesturing to the girl who apparently had been watching them this whole time.
"Sh-She's never skated competitively."
"Alright," Viktor smirked, tilting his head to the side as he watched Yuuri, "You have me, then."
"What?" The statement had once again taken him off guard. Viktor liked to surprise people, but Yuuri was sure this was far more surprises in one night than he'd ever been dealt in his life.
"I helped Coach Yakov train his students back home. I can help you, too." Viktor held out his hand to Yuuri, "I want you to try. If you succeed, I'll return to the ice. If you fail, I get my dance."
Yuuri stared at the older man's hand for a long moment before hesitantly reaching out to take it, "Okay…"
After all, Yuuri really couldn't deny his idol anything.
Author Note: I don't speak Russian, so if I got these translations wrong, I'm sorry!
Ty mog skazat' eto - You could say that
Prosti - I'm sorry
Konechno - Of course
