Part 2 - Radiance

Jessamine Lee Tam was a simple girl. She loved her family--the whole quirky, violent, loud-mouthed lot of 'em--and she loved spaceships--Serenity especially, the only place in the 'verse that ever really felt like home. She loved meeting new folks, loved making friends and hearing stories--she had quite a few of her own to share with anyone who'd listen. Mostly, though, Jessie just loved being happy and seeing everyone around her be happy as well. She hadn't had an indulgent childhood, but there had always love and that was plenty for the vibrant redhead. She felt richer and more privileged than the most spoiled core brat.

She'd been told over and over again throughout her entire life that she had her mama's smile, bright and beautiful and handed out like candy. Louie joked that Jessie could probably light all of the Black with it; Jay always insisted her grin was big and dopey but he did it with a smirk and playful hair ruffle so she knew her ge-ge was just teasing. Mac, Louie's husband, liked to call her Sunshine.

She hadn't smiled in months, not for real. It just wasn't in her anymore, and especially not just then, when she found herself in Serenity's infirmary, screaming and crying loud enough to be heard all throughout the entire ship as her body was seized by a type of pain she had never before experienced. It was so intense, so overwhelming and she just couldn't handle it anymore.

She wasn't strong like Louisa, her courageous, war-hero jie-jie standing beside her, holding her hand and mopping the sweat off her pale forehead and whispering that it was gonna be alright, that she'd get through just fine. Jessie didn't believe Lou, continuing to cry out in pain and fear and heartbreak. "I-I can't do it, Louie!" The woman sobbed, barely twenty-two and not ready for what she knew was coming, "I can't! This ain't fair! I'm too young! I can't do it by myself!"

"And you ain't gonna have to," Louisa scolded firmly, stoically squeezing back on the death-grip Jessie had on her hand, pressing their foreheads together and gazing down at her with those soft blue eyes that made her look not quite as harsh as she seemed on first glance. "You're strong," Lou proclaimed, like the retired Air Force First Lieutenant was ordering it into being fact and just daring a single soul to argue with her, "You got us, mei-mei. We're here and we ain't goin' nowhere. No matter what, you always got us."

Jessie sniffled dizzily, trying to ignore Sam and Jay arguing with Ginny over the cortex screen as her dark-haired baby sister tried to give the Reynolds twins the directions they hadn't been able to reach her daddy for. He was a doctor, retired on Haven with their mama. Ginny was in MedAcad on Osiris though. At just seventeen, she was the youngest student to pass through since Simon Tam himself attended; she was more than capable of taking care of this but she was also worlds and worlds away, had been for nearly a year. Jessie started crying anew when she thought about how much she missed her two youngest sisters.

Rosie was at school, too, at the most prestigious university on Sihnon. The dreamiest Tam was nineteen and a genius. She was studying literature, latin, physics, philosophy, political science, and mathematics all at once. She was expected to graduate in less than a year and was already in the process of getting her first novel published.

Angie was the only one there on the boat with her, but the twenty-one-year-old wasn't much help. The strawberry blonde was standing near Jessie's feet, looking rather pale and dazed; her fellow mechanic couldn't stand the sight of blood or other person's pain, 'specially not the pain of someone as close as one of her sisters. Jessie didn't fault Angie for it; weren't much she could do or say to make the situation any better anyhow. Everything was goin' to shit.

It all started about two years ago.

Gabriel and Regan Tam died within a month of each other; they left the entirety of their vast fortune to be split equally between their seven grandchildren, even though they had never met a single one of 'em. J.J. and Alleyne were only eight at the time so Aunt River had their shares put away with the instruction that the money would be used only for education or in a dire emergency; Uncle Jayne wasn't so happy about that but she gave him one of those "kill you with my brain" looks and the old man shut up right quick.

Jessie's daddy set up similar trusts for his daughters; Rosie and Ginny were using theirs to pay for school so their parents didn't have to. Jessie and Angie were content to merely live off what they'd been given; the security of not having to live hand-to-mouth like they did in the days before the war when they were still doing crime just to get by was real nice; it gave her the freedom to do what she loved: being a mechanic, being with her family, being on Serenity. She didn't want much more out of life.

That was until one of her daddy's cousins approached him while he was on his trip to the core to settle the paperwork and invited their family to a ball. Daddy had always spoken fondly of Tetsu, now a fabulously wealthy, childless widow in her early fifties, and had been delighted at the thought of reconnecting with the family he'd left behind when he chose Aunt River over all the rest of 'em. He was still having a bit of trouble with the fact that his parents had died without him ever getting answers, apologies, or reconciliation.

He told his daughters that it was up to them if they wanted to attend the ball, that he wouldn't force them to go if they felt uncomfortable in any way. 'Course, they all jumped at the chance, even no-nonsense Ginny; she'd been eager to get introduced to some core ways and possibly meet some of the students she'd be attending MedAcad with in a few months when she turned sixteen.

They left Louisa, Mac, and baby Washburne on Hera with their newly acquired Seraph fighter. They were calling her Rapture and had quite a bit of work to do before she'd be space-worthy again. Without the mechanical expertise of Jessie, Angie, and their mama, Lou said she was just gonna be doing body work until they all returned to help her rebuild the engine.

Mac pouted, the blonde merc grumbling about having been looking forward to seeing his gorgeous wife in something slinky. Louie smiled in that adoringly bemused way she did only around him, patting his hip as she soothed, "Get my boat fixed, husband, and you might just earn yourself a private slink-fest." He brightened up real quick and Jessie snickered pretty hard into her hand.

She loved watching them together, just like she loved watching her mama and her daddy, Aunt River and Uncle Jayne, Aunt Inara and Uncle Mal. She loved watching couples she knew were truly in love and hoped to one day have that kind of love all for her ownself. Jessie had always believed in true love, in romance and its power to make the whole world brighter.

Soon, Serenity was touching down on Osiris, her daddy's home world. He and Mama and Aunt Inara met them at the docks with Cousin Tetsu. The woman seemed friendly, if a bit closed off, especially in comparison to bubbly Kaylee, who bounced all over her daughters and adoptive nephews and favorite captain in the 'verse.

Tetsu Charlemagne was very well-dressed in rich silks and satins; she had a build like Aunt River's--small and delicate and waiflike--and long, perfectly-groomed hair that was a sleek cascade of deep gray iron falling down her thin back. Her face was pale and, after a life of expensive facials and mostly forced smiles, only sparingly lined with crow's feet at the corners of her cool gray eyes. After seeing a picture of her that Daddy sent back to Haven--since Aunt River had opted not to attend--Uncle Jayne commented that, based on the woman's color pallet, she looked to be carved entirely out of gunmetal.

Still, it was real nice to meet family; Jessie had her aunts and uncles and brothers and sisters from Serenity, as well as a few more distant relatives from her mama's side scattered out on a few rim worlds. She loved all of her family and had always been of the mind that it could never get big enough--despite what Captain Tight-Pants had to say about overpopulatin' the gorram boat. It was real nice to have at least one more person she could add to the ranks and had been excited about the prospect of meeting even more members of the Tam clan, if they'd ever quit sulking over the hand her aunt and daddy'd played in Miranda and the fall of the Alliance.

But they had a whole flurry of work to do to get ready for the ball that night. Jessie and her sisters had barely been on Osiris for ten minutes before they were whisked off to a real fancy dressmaker's studio and draped in some of the most heavenly, expensive fabrics they'd ever seen. Mama insisted that they all have their own dresses made special for 'em 'cuz the bubbly fifty-two-year-old mechanic had learned that, when attending core parties, what you wear ain't supposed to look like you bought it in a store. She wasn't gonna let her daughters make the same mistakes she had. No, sir.

Jessie giggled with Angie over the core boys trying to peek in the window as they watched fifteen-year-old Ginny getting fitted, their slim sister absolutely gorgeous in dark blue. She watched seventeen-year-old Rosie wandering through the shop with a speculative, far-off look in her sparkly brown eyes as she lightly ran her fingertips over the soft fabrics; she was especially fond of the purple silks. She watched Uncle Mal and the twins sulking off in a corner, moaning to her daddy about how gorram ridiculous the whole thing was, how they didn't take kindly to bein' dressed up like show dogs; Uncle Mal even grumbled something about how he better not get ruttin' stabbed this time. Mama and Aunt Inara were sipping tea and rolling their eyes at the men.

It was all worth it though. Every one of the Tam girls was breathtakingly beautiful by the time the dress lady, hair lady, and make-up lady was through with 'em. Jay's jaw literally hit the ground when they finally managed to talk Angie out of the dressing room in a curve-hugging little black number. Angie was a bit shyer than her big sister but no less gorgeous; she turned the younger Reynolds twin into an incoherent pile a' goo. Jessie filed that bit away for future matchmaking 'cuz wouldn't it be shiny if they got together?

Jessie's own dress was a deep green, clingy and low-cut enough to make her daddy blush and bluster; that was just how she liked it; she was a flirt and a charmer and certainly enjoyed all the pleasures life had to offer.

Sam teasingly complimented that she looked voluptuous, winking and offering out his arm; he was looking sharp in a neat black tux and was to be her escort for the evening. Angie got Jay, when he finally got around to pickin' his eyes up past her chest and mumblin' some nonsense about where the hell she'd been hidin' those...

The ball was the grandest party she ever attended; it was so rich and cultured and she probably would've felt out of place if she hadn't been blessed with her mama's outgoing, infectious personality. As it stood, they all blended in reasonably well. Thanks to Aunt River and Aunt Inara, all the Serenity children could dance beautifully and had excellent manners.

Ginny, brave and confident almost to a fault, easily found friends in a group of people at her own intellect level. They happened to all be about three years older than her, but she'd always been way to smart for her own age group anyways.

Rosie wandered again, wide-eyed and off in her own world before eventually finding companionship with a trio of rowdy old women drinking and telling bawdy jokes off in a corner. They were new money, she'd heard whispers, and were looked at with general distaste. Rosie laughed so hard at their stories that she damn near ripped the seams of her long gown, the violet silk she'd insisted on clashing terribly with her flushed face and deep red hair but looking so... fitting on the dreamiest Tam.

Angie danced with Jay and she was even starting to relax before he went and put his foot in his big ole mouth. Instead of telling her she looked beautiful, which she did, the curly-haired youth commented that she was actually pretty when she bothered to clean herself up. The girl had been close to tears before a good-looking core boy swooped in and asked her for a dance. She accepted, happy to throw a scathing glare over her shoulder at Jay as she'd been led away from the far more clueless half of the infamous Double-Trouble.

Jessie herself was having the time of her life. Sam only danced for a bit, but that was fine because he wanted to join his mama and daddy in talking to some potential business connections. And it's not like she had any shortage of company. No, sir.

She danced with nearly every bachelor in the place; when she got tired, they followed her to the buffet table and stood around laughing happily as she piled herself a plate full of real meat and the freshest fruits she'd ever seen. Jessamine Lee Tam was the belle of the ball, the gorgeous, radiant newcomer every man wanted for his own.

It just so happened she caught the attention of Casimir Hastin. He was twenty-five, with dark hair and skin and piercing, irresistible golden eyes. She'd heard Uncle Mal scathingly referred to him as a war profiteer when his name had come up earlier in the evening--he'd knowingly supplied faulty body armor to both sides during the Second Unification War, making himself even richer than he'd been to begin with and causing innumerable casualties by doing so--but Casimir had looked at her from across the room and suddenly nothing else mattered; suddenly, she knew what true love felt like.

Jessie fell, hard and fast.

Casimir romanced her; it probably wouldn't have turned out so bad if he hadn't, but he did. They danced and talked, he charmed her with poetic words of adoration that night and for every one during the month that followed. They made love in a way that sent Jessie's very soul to shaking and she thought she'd found it, that pure, true, never-ending love she'd been searching for her whole life, that would make her whole world right.

When it was time to return Serenity to the skies, she didn't want to go. So she didn't.

"You... want to stay... with that... ape?" Her daddy gaped, salt-and-pepper hair in complete disarray from all the times he'd run his fingers through it since she'd made her announcement.

"Ya, Daddy," Jessie responded eagerly, a bit of a dreamy, naïve edge to her voice, "Cas and I are in love... I got somethin' real special and I don't wanna lose it. You understand, right?"

"NO!" He shouted, hinging on desperation, "NO! I don't understand at all! Jessie, honey, you're smarter than this! You're blinded by some fantasy version of him you've constructed in your own head! He's horrible! Why can't you see that?"

She got all misty-eyed, having heard from Louie that a misty-eyed Tam girl is more effective than a gun to the head when you're trying to get someone to do what you want. "I'm happy," Jessie whispered tearfully, "Don't you want me to be happy?"

Mouth open and gaping like a fish out of water, her daddy was knocked speechless.

He probably would've still been frozen in that same pose if it hadn't been for her mama gently laying a hand on his arm, giving him a watery smile before pushing him out of the room. She turned back to Jessie, fixing her with a very motherly glance before pulling her into a hug. "If this is really want you want, bao bei," Kaylee Tam murmured sadly, "Then we can't stop you. Just... be careful."

"I will, Mama!" Jessie answered excitedly, squeezing her mother tight around her neck, "But everything's shiny! I think Cas is the one!" She missed the sorrowful gleam in the old woman's eyes as she pulled away, bouncing off to pack her room.

She stayed in Cousin Tetsu's big house, spending her nights out with Casimir and having the time of her life. She missed her family a great deal, but they still waved often and when Ginny finally went to MedAcad the age of sixteen, Jessie was looking forward to having her sister nearby again.

Casimir took them both to lunch one day. Jessie thought it was going fine but Ginny stormed out halfway through.

"Gin!" Jessie yelled after her baby sister, struggling to keep up as she ran in a pair of expensive designer heels Casimir had insisted she buy for the occasion, "Gin! Hold up! What's wrong?"

The dark-haired girl turned, usually calm face flushed red with anger as her blue eyes flashed dangerously. "YOU!!" Ginny shouted at the top of her lungs, making a huge scene in the middle of the street just because she couldn't be bothered not to, "You're what's wrong!! You and that- that... wo-nang fei!!"

Jessie mouth dropped open, not believing her sister was insulting the man she loved.

"How could you just sit there and let him say those things?" Ginny demanded hotly, having fully lost her legendarily cool, "He insulted our entire family and everything we believe in before the first course even arrived and you just sat there and let him do it!! What is wrong with you? Are you really that blinded by a handsome smile and a few shiny baubles that you're willing to turn your back on your own morals?"

"You're just jealous!" Jessie yelled back, near tears at all the mean, hurtful, completely unfounded accusations, "You don't want me to be happy! No one in this family does! You all wanted me to stay on Serenity forever! You wanted me all for yourselves and you can't handle the fact that I'm goin' out into the world to make my own life!"

Ginny just stared at her for a few moments before shaking her head in disbelief. She turned on her heel and left, muttering a shocking string of obscenities under her breath.

When Jessie made it back into the restaurant, she had a fake smile pasted on her face. She made excuses for Ginny, saying that she just had a lot of homework to be doing back at MedAcad. Casimir shrugged it off, not even seeming to care as he went back to devouring his meal and Ginny's uneaten one. Jessie spent the rest of lunch trying to figure out what Casimir had done that would've made Ginny say those things. She tried to listen a little closer to his talk about politics and business but, like always, got distracted by his eyes. He was so handsome and had such a nice, deep voice...

Before she knew it, Jessie'd been on Osiris for over a year and, during that time, she'd had confrontations with just about every member of her family involving Casimir. They all hated him; Jay called her an idiot right to her face for ever having anything to do with Casimir; Louisa refused to even talk to her, considering Jessie's relationship with the man responsible for killing so many of her fellow soldiers a deep betrayal.

She was convinced they were all just putting lies about him into her head so she'd come home; he really didn't say the mean things they claimed he did, that the Independents and Republic were inbred morons who deserved what the Alliance had done to them, that the rim worlds and everyone in them existed only to support the superior people in the core, that being born and living aboard a spaceship was unnatural and barbaric.

Even Cousin Tetsu got in on it. After a dinner with Casimir, she'd been practically shaking as she proclaimed, "Either you stop seeing that goushi dui or you get out of my house."

So she left, certain that Casimir would take her in.

Only he didn't.

He thought that living together would make them grow apart and she didn't want that, right? 'Course not. Jessie checked herself into a motel.

Two days later, she missed her period.

She was pregnant. She was only twenty-one and didn't know how she could've let it happen. Still though, she was certain Casimir would do the right thing, that he would marry her and take care of her and their child.

Only he didn't.

He said he didn't want to see her anymore, that she was getting too serious when all he'd wanted was a casual thing. She hadn't really thought he'd ever marry her, had she? Space trash like her? Of course not. And she hadn't really thought that baby was his, had she? Of course it wasn't. Everyone knew Jessie was a huli jing and her brat could be anyone's.

Jessie cried. She thought he loved her, begged and pleaded for him not to end it like that, for him not to leave her. Casimir Hastin had her removed from his building by security, giving instructions that she was never again to be allowed on the premises.

Standing out on the street corner in the rain, drenched and pregnant and alone, everything came crashing down. She'd given up her whole life for Cas and he'd just tossed her away like garbage... just like she'd tossed away her family just 'cuz they could see the things about him she didn't want to, the things she'd made herself blind to all in the name of love.

She felt so... stupid and embarrassed. She wanted nothing more than to run home but, after what she'd done, she didn't think anyone would be waiting with open arms. She chose Casimir over them. Why would they ever want to see her again?

So she left Osiris without telling a soul. Grounded in cold, hard reality once again, Jessie suddenly realized just how much of her money she'd spent during her time on the planet--on expensive clothes and ridiculous fineries she didn't need--that she had very little left and that little wouldn't get her far. She felt stupid all over again.

She got herself to Lilac and took a job as a mechanic fixing machinery in a small factory. That only lasted a few months; soon, she was too big to do any real work and, besides, she missed too many shifts on account of not being able to get out of bed for crying so hard. She was scared, so scared, and so alone.

The only other job she could find was serving ale in the local pub. The pay wasn't so great--nobody really wanted to tip a pregnant, tear-stained waitress--but it got her by. More months passed in a surreal blur of raw pain. The heartbreak was sharp and constant; she missed her family like hell but was too ashamed to even send them a wave.

And then, probably in her seventh month of pregnancy, probably in the middle of the day though it was hard to tell since the inside of the pub was always the same dim half-light and Jessie had long ago stopped paying attention to things like the passage of time, the heavy redhead picked up a tray full of ale from the bar counter and suddenly heard, "Run-tse duh fwotzoo!! Jessie!!"

She dropped the tray, splashing her bare legs with the bitter alcohol and cringing as she heard footsteps pounding right for her. She knew who it was; she didn't want to turn around because then what she'd done would be revealed.

But, like a blink, Louie was suddenly grabbing her by the shoulder and whirling her around. Her big sister looked different; it had been two years since they'd seen each other face to face and Lou was older, thirty-years-old, but she looked... happy. Jessie was jealous of her happiness.

"Jessie, what in the gorram hell..." The tall former soldier gasped, her blue eyes going wide at the sight of the redhead's huge stomach. A look of understanding passed across her pretty face and, despite the belly in the way, Louie pulled Jessie into a tight hug. Jessie couldn't help it; she hugged her jie-jie right back, immediately sobbing into her strong shoulder as she whimpered, "I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry..."

"Shh, mei-mei," Lou answered quietly, rubbing the young woman's shaking back and somehow managing to force her voice to remain soft even as she glared at the audience of gawking drunks, "Shh. It's alright. Everything's gonna be alright."

"You're a lot dumber than I thought you were if you thought me thinkin' you're dumb was any reason not to come home," Jay stated with a teasing smile after Jessie was all through telling her brothers and sisters what happened. Louie spirited her back to Serenity aboard Rapture, the boat finally up off the ground and flying like a dream. They'd all been looking for her for months and were so happy just to see her safe. Baby Washburne had gotten so big; Jessie had to remind herself that he was already four-years-old and cursed herself missing out on so much because of her own stupidity.

Louie and Sam both reached out to smack Jay upside the head at once, earning a glare from him and a giggle from Angie, Mac, and baby Washburne. For the first time in years, Jessie truly felt like she was home; that feeling didn't make her any less depressed and utterly, completely heartbroken.

They made plans to transport her to Haven, where her mama and daddy had retired with Aunt Inara and Uncle Mal to Uncle Jayne and Aunt River's cattle ranch. They were all so worried about her; they didn't care about anything she'd done and were just thrilled she was home and safe.

But four days out, Jessie went into labor.

Haven's cortex connections were constantly on the fritz; Louisa growled about how they'd been that way since the war and someone should just fix the gorram things already. Unfortunately, they had no way of getting in touch with Dr. Tam and, while he'd trained the assembled crew how to deal with most medical emergencies, delivering a baby didn't happen to be one of them.

Sam got the idea to wave Ginny back on Osiris; their cortex connections were always good.

When Jessie faded out of the fog of pain, the youngest Tam was still in the midst of a rant about how she wasn't doing her ObGyn rotation until the next fall and the best she could do was try to talk them through the procedure she found detailed in one of her textbooks. Sam and Jay were insisting it would have to do.

Jessie's whole body was one fiery ache of contractions and heartbreak and loneliness. She couldn't do this!! She couldn't!! Her world had gone dark and weren't nothin' gonna make it bright again!! No way she could have a baby like this!!

"Don't have her start pushing until she's ten centimeters dilated!" Ginny yelled through the screen, trying hard and failing to make her voice remain clinical and detached.

Double-Trouble looked at each other blankly, blue eyes to black, before turning once more to the cortex and asking in a fearful unison, "Until what's dilated?"

"What'd you think, ben dahn? Her cervix!" Ginny returned, sounding like she was wishing she was there with them just so she could reach out and slap the pair, "I would hope, between the two of you, you somehow managed to figure out over the course of your lives that BABIES COME OUT OF VAGINAS!! NOW LOOK AT IT AND TELL ME HOW FAR SHE'S DILATED!!!"

The twins shared a terrified glance, Jay quickly holding out a fist as he challenged, "Evens."

Sam nodded in agreement, presenting his own fist as he proclaimed somberly, "Odds."

"One, two, three, shoot!" They chimed, every movement made like the fate of the whole 'verse rested on it. Each held out one finger and Sam swore at the top of his lungs.

Grinning impishly, Jay patted his older brother on the shoulder and teased, "Tough break, Sammy. I'll go fetch a ruler... think you'll be needin' one with a level on it?"

"Quit screwin' around!!" Louisa scolded crossly, kindly petting tendrils of Jessie's sweat-darkened red hair back from her pale forehead, her own red-gold curls breaking free from their usual functional ponytail, "This ain't no gorram game!"

Unaffected by the screaming, Jay continued to pout at Lou with big ole dark puppy eyes before she finally rolled hers and snapped, "No, we won't need a level! Now git!"

The twenty-four-year-old scampered off giggling, practically giddy over the fact that he would not have to be looking at or touching Jessie's woman parts... now, Angie's he wouldn't mind but he seemed to screw that up every time he tried so had started figuring that it was hopeless... not that that would stop him from keeping on trying. No, sir.

Sam's face had rapidly drained of color and he was pleading at Louisa with his daddy's ice blue eyes. "Louie, jie-jie, First Lieutenant Washburne-Machado, Ma'am," He begged desperately, "Don't you think that this, uh, sort a' job is something you'd be better at? I mean, you've had a kid before and, plus, you're more, er, well-versed in dealing with the... required equipment, seein' as you've got some a' your own..." He trailed off uncomfortably, wishing someone would just shoot him because that was sounding a helluva lot more inviting than whatever lay between Jessie's thighs.

"I can't let go a' Jessie's hand," Lou answered, a clear hint of the ever-classic "you're such a boob" in her voice as she nodded toward the death-grip currently keeping her captive, "Remember how you and Jay both shrieked like babies when you tried to hold her hands? Since I seem to be the only one on board not made up of fragile little bird bones, I gotta stay right here. Now, quit bein' a wuss and take a gander under that sheet. We don't really need a ruler at all and might as well get this done without Jay in the room gigglin' like a gorram fool."

"Ya, but..." Sam tried to argue, looking desperately to Angie just in time to watch her brown eyes suddenly roll back into her head as her slim body went slack. He darted out and caught her, cursing up a storm as he gently arranged the strawberry-blonde onto a clear counter that doubled as the spare infirmary bed. She was out like a light and, more importantly, incapable of taking his horrible job from him.

Just then, Jessie let out another shrill scream, her face screwed up in pain as she squeezed Louisa's hand hard enough to crush two bones out of place. The only indication of the trauma, beside the sickeningly meaty pop-pop that echoed off the sterile white walls, was a slight flinch and tremble in the warrior woman's clenched jaw. Gorram, that Tam girl had a grip on her.

"GET IT OUTTA ME!!!" Jessie shrieked, hardly aware of anything aside from pain, from the feeling of total emptiness even while she was bigger than a house.

"It's still an it?" Mac inquired brightly as he suddenly came bouncing into the room. The stocky blonde merc was munching on a protein bar, tactlessly spewing crumbs as he spoke with his mouth full, "I thought we were gonna try figurin' out that ultrasound thingy to see if it was a little fella or little girlie."

"MAC!!" Sam squealed happily, the twenty-four-year-old bounding across the infirmary to grab the merc's shoulders, "See how far Jessie's dilated!"

Mac's pale eyebrows shot up under the messy curls covering most of his forehead. After a moment, he stated very frankly, "Whoa... I am so glad I don't work for you." He glanced over Sam's shoulder to his wife, asking hopefully, "You didn't trade me for a new gun while I was off caring for the beautiful child we made together, did you, gosling?"

"'Course not, husband," Louisa answered distractedly, still focused on whispering soothing words of comfort into Jessie's ears even while her hand turned purple and swelled, "You're worth at least three, maybe even four seein' as how the boy's so attached to ya." She suddenly stood up bolt straight, blue eyes going wide as she demanded, "Where'd you leave the boy?"

"Burne's fine," Mac stated, completely ignoring Sam's blustering as he stepped around him and walked over to check Angie's pulse, "He's playin' with some dinosaurs on Rapture's bridge."

Lou's bronze face paled as she immediately demanded, "Did you-"

"Yes, I locked the controls," Mac interrupted, smiling sheepishly as he placed a cool washcloth over Angie's forehead, "Learned my lesson about that. But, you gotta admit, it was pretty ruttin' smart a' him, only four and already flyin' the ship all by his ownself. They grow up so fast. Brings a tear to the eye."

"Least he has a better flight record than Jay," Louie conceded with a smirk, relaxing back into trying to talk Jessie through the increasingly frequent and severe contractions.

"What'll it take to get you workin' for me?" Sam cut in desperately, grasping at straws for an out from his assignment, "I'll double whatever Louie's payin' ya!"

Mac gave him a strange look, inquiring, "You can double the most amazing sex I've ever had?" He made a very pensive face, theatrically stroking his clean-shaven jaw as he mused, "Hmm... I'm skeptical, yet intrigued..."

"Still waiting over here!" The cortex blared, Ginny's voice shrill and impatient, "Any of you fei rens even bothered to look yet?"

"What if I just hold the screen up to it..." Sam suggested, panicking slightly as it began looking more and more likely that he was going to have to actually... gaze into the abyss, so to speak. The dark-haired young man clearly inherited the captain's Puritanical views of the human body as well as his gift for the creative euphemism.

Before he could finish his suggestion, Louisa snarled, "Oh, to hell with this!" In a blink, she drew her large pistol into her free hand, easily cocking the hammer as she held it only a few inches from Sam's forehead. His eyes crossed to stare down the barrel as he gulped convulsively.

Jay chose that minute to come bounding back into the room, triumphantly holding out a sleek ruler-level combo. Soon as he saw the standoff, he dropped it and his hands flew up in a gesture of silent surrender.

"I ain't gonna tell you again, Solomon Derrial Reynolds," Lou warned dangerously, her terrifying voice cracking just the slightest bit as Jessie continued to constrict the dislocated bones in her hand, "Look under the ruttin' sheet. Now."

"Ok, ok," He fearfully agreed, backing away slowly until he was stood right there. After a deep breath and a few moments of internal debate over whether or not getting shot might really be worth it to avoid his fate, he slowly peeked his head under the edge of the sterile blue sheet covering Jessie's bare lower half.

"Ai ya tyen-ah!!" He shrieked, his voice breaking on every syllable as he became scarred irreparably, "There's a head!! Oh, gorramit!! There's a HEAD!!!"

"That's a good sign!" Ginny's voice blared through the cortex, "Hold onto it, but don't pull!! Make sure the umbilical cord isn't wrapped around it's neck!!"

"I ain't touchin' it!!" Sam squeaked, his head popping up and making a rather comical bump in the sheet, "I didn't get no gloves!! For the love of Buddha, someone get me some gloves!!"

"Here's a towel," Jay supplied helpfully, whipping Sam's own bath towel at his brother's back, "Good luck!"

"Jessie, PUSH!!" Ginny instructed, "This is it, Jes! Just a little more!"

"Ni ta ma de! Tian-xia sou-you-de ren dou gai si! Ya'll are goin' to the special hell!" Sam swore wildly from beneath the sheet, "And don't anybody even think about touchin' the showers 'fore me!!... run-tse duh fwotzoo, it's so gooey!!!"

"Shut up, Sam!" Lou ordered furiously, with plenty of her own pain to endure as she tried to counsel Jessie through hers. "Breathe, Jes," The pilot soothed, holding eye contact with the frightened young woman, "Take a real deep breath and then push. This'll all be over soon. Come on, mei-mei, almost there."

"I-I can't!" Jessie sobbed, paralyzed by pain and hopelessness and heartbreak and fear even as she instinctually bore down to bring her child into the world.

"Sam!" Ginny's voice interrupted, "Be careful! Once the shoulders are free it'll slide right out! Don't drop it!"

Sounding highly offended, the man under the sheet quipped, "I don't need to be told not to drop a baby! I ain't that dumb... WHOA! Slippery little fella!"

And the whole room was suddenly filled to the brim with tiny newborn cries, frantic and confused and disoriented. After a brief moment of fumbling, Sam stood with a squirming little bundle tucked safely in his arms. "Well, would you look at that?" He joked, fondly surveying the slimy infant wrapped up in what he had yet to realize was his own towel, "Another male for our ranks. This day's startin' to pick up."

Jessie sagged back into the angled bed, exhausted and sobbing. Ginny was yelling something about placenta over the cortex as everyone else in the room--well, everyone who was conscious anyways--rushed to crowd around the newest crew member.

Slowly prying her bruised and battered hand out of Jessie's death grip, Louisa stayed by her sister's side. She leaned in closer, smiling softly as she whispered, "You got a son, mei-mei. He's beautiful."

"Lou," She whimpered, still in shock as her broken heart throbbed inside her chest, "I can't-"

Her protests were cut off by Sam carefully laying the screaming child on her chest. He was so little, with dark tawny skin still wrinkled and sticky from his minutes-old birth, with a tiny smooshed up face and scrunched up eyes, with a mop of dark scarlet hair on the top of his lopsided head.

"He's..." Jessie gasped, in utter awe of the light and warmth and love she could feel pouring off the tiny creature as she gently took one of his small hands into hers, "He's so beautiful." She was crying still, but it didn't hurt no more. The world was lookin' a lot less dark, a lot less hopeless.

"Absolutely radiant," Mac teased fondly, winking as he tossed an arm around his wife's strong shoulders and tenderly inspected her injured hand, "Just like his mama. You got a name for him, Miss Sunshine?"

"Hey, is that my towel?" Sam accused angrily, earning a dangerous glare from Louisa that sealed his mouth up tight.

Oblivious to the outside world, Jessie looked down into her son's face, holding him closer and feeling whole for the first time in nearly eight months, maybe even for the first time ever. One of her tears fell onto his cheek; she sniffled and wiped it away, running her fingers over the rest of his little body and instantly falling in love. She'd found it, that pure, true, never-ending love she always wanted and it was right there in her arms. To hell with romance; she'd been waiting for the boy her whole life without even realizing it. Nothing else could ever compare and he made the heartbreak she'd suffered at the hands of his father nothing but a distant memory.

"David," Jessie murmured, her voice quiet as the dark child began to settle into her warmth and strong, familiar heartbeat, "Heard somewhere that it means 'beloved.'"

The room got real quiet as David Tam yawned and cuddled up to his mama. They made the perfect picture of love and happiness, peaceful and stunning in the strength they'd found in one another. Their radiance made the whole ship glow like it was a star all unto itself.

"I can't see!!" Ginny's voice erupted out of the cortex, blaring but unable to disrupt the otherworldly calm that had fallen over the old Firefly, "I can't see!! Hey!! Heeeeeeeeeey!! Someone show me my gorram nephew before I come out there and shoot ya'll!!"

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Translations -

ge-ge - older brother

jie-jie - older sister

mei-mei - younger sister

bao bei - sweetheart

wo-nang fei - loser

goushi dui - pile of dog excrement

huli jing - overly seductive woman, slut (lit. fox spirit)

run-tse duh fwotzoo - merciful Buddha

ben dahn - dummy

fei ren - useless person

ai ya tyen-ah - merciless hell

ni ta ma de! tian-xia sou-you-de ren dou gai si! - damnit! everyone in the universe ought to die!

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Author's notes -

Casimir - a Slavic name meaning "destroyer of peace."

Radiance - warm, cheerful intensity; the quality of being bright and sending out rays of light; an attractive combination of good health and happiness.