I'm Just A Killer For Your Love
Chapter 2 – Delusional
By: StalkerDex
(Author's Note: I'm re-posting this chapter because there was an entire line removed from it when I uploaded it to the Doc Manager. I've noticed sometimes things don't translate correctly when they get uploaded on here...hopefully I've corrected all of the inconsistencies I found. Anyway...new chapter will be up either later this evening or early tomorrow. Thanks for reading!)
"Fuuuucccckkkkk…" Eric whined as he rolled over, pulling the couch pillow over his head to block the sun. His head was pounding forcefully in sync with his irregular heartbeat. He felt utterly wrecked as he squeezed his eyes shut, protesting the morning with all of his might.
"Hey, Dude…you okay?" he heard a nasally, flat voice ask from beside him. Craig? The fuck was Craig doing at his house?
Eric slowly opened his eyes and lifted the pillow just enough to peak out from beneath it. Yup. It was Craig, and he looked fine as usual. Although, there were some slightly noticeable bags under his eyes.
"The fuck happened last night?" Eric asked, struggling with waking himself. He certainly couldn't be bothered with trying to remember anything at the moment.
"We went to Stark's pond and polished off a bottle of whiskey. I'm not surprised you don't remember…you were fucking smashed last night," Craig informed, kneeling down beside Cartman and handing him a mug, "it's coffee. It will help…plus, if you're game, we can go grab something really greasy and deep fried on the way to school."
Eric sat himself up, feeling as though he'd been hit by a fucking train, as he put his hand to his head for a moment. Craig allowed him to put himself together a bit before nudging the coffee a little closer to him. Eric took it from him, a look of utter confusion on his face as he tried to completely open his eyes.
"Dude…we can't drive to school together…that's faggy," Eric said, sounding as though that were completely obvious.
A look of confusion quickly made it's way across Craig's face as he clutched onto his own cup of coffee.
"Well…no it's not. Stan and Kyle go to school together all the time…it's not a big deal."
Eric rolled his eyes. Christ, how was it possible for Craig to be so naïve? He'd always thought he had a little more common sense than the rest of them. Apparently, he was just as fucking ignorant.
"Yeah…and everyone knows Stan and Kyle are totally gay for each other. Jesus, Tucker…"
Craig rolled his eyes before taking a sip of his coffee. Eric watched him for a moment, realizing a smug look was on his face. He knew something Eric didn't…
"What's that? Why is your stupid face like that? What do you know asshole?"
"Nothing…" Craig said, raising his eyebrows a little bit, revealing that he most certainly did. Eric could feel a bit of rage rising in his chest as Craig quietly mocked him. That smug sonuvabitch. He'd get him; yes sir, he would get him.
"What do you know Craig?" Eric demanded through gritted teeth, clutching onto his cup of coffee angrily. He hadn't even bothered to have a sip of it yet seeing as Craig had something on him. That was all he could focus on at the moment. He was utterly fixated on, what he considered at the moment, his enemy.
Craig arrogantly drank his coffee, both hands on the cup as he buried his face in it and ignored Eric's pleas. He wanted to torture the fat kid until he was about to explode before he divulged. This way he was more likely to get what he wanted from him.
"Goddamnit Craig you tell me what you know or I'm gonna kick you square in your goddamn balls you skinny peice of gay shit!" Eric hollered, rambling as he tended to do when extremely irritated. Craig was struggling not to smile, though couldn't help it. Eric felt like he wanted to wring his neck as he looked up towards him, beaming with joy as he spoke.
"You and me had some good old fashioned male bonding last night. You told me things…and did things…that I can hold over your head for the rest of your life if I so choose…"
Eric felt his stomach lurch. Fuck. See…this was why he hated drinking. He hadn't even planned on partaking in the festivities last night; He did remember that. His plan had been to get Craig drunk and torment him all night. Somehow he'd gotten all caught up in the boozing aspect of it all and, clearly, failed miserably at fulfilling his need for sadistic torture of another.
"The fuck happened, Craig!" Eric demanded, still gritting his teeth angrily.
Craig smirked at him arrogantly as he pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his free arm around it. He was so goddamn happy; it was pissing Eric off.
"Well…you told me about how sad you are about your lonely, friendless, fatherless life for one thing."
Eric felt his stomach lurch. Goddamnit. Of course they'd talked about that. Christ. Still…that wasn't the worst thing in the world. He certainly didn't want anyone to know that he had admitted how he felt about all that, but he figured it wouldn't really be a big news flash. People could surmise his dissatisfaction with his personal life if they wanted.
"Whatever, Craig. I don't give a shit about that. You smug little bastard…that's nothing."
Craig chuckled a bit before taking another sip of his coffee, "yeah, well…that's not all."
Eric narrowed his eyes at him, struggling to ignore the pit in his stomach. Craig fucking had something good on him, he could tell. As he waited for his 'friend' to share, he found himself fantasizing about strangling him and burying him in backyard. Then he couldn't open that stupid fucking mouth of his. A wave of euphoria washed over him as he thought about it, dumping than skinny little lifeless body of his into a dirt hole and burying it, never again having to worry about whatever horrid dirt he had on him. Fuck…that would be glorious.
Craig eyed him, looking a little disturbed. Eric had a strange look of pleasure on his face, completely inappropriate for the current situation. Several seconds passed before Craig cleared his throat, commanding Eric's attention.
Eric's euphoria immediately disappeared as he snapped out of it, shaking his head a bit and narrowing his eyes at Craig. He instantly remembered why he had been fantasizing and found himself incredibly indignant towards Craig.
"So, what do you know then asshole?" Eric said, folding his arms across his chest and glaring at Craig.
Craig cleared his throat once more, not looking like he was taking nearly as much pleasure in the situation as he had been before, which pleased Eric. In all honesty, Craig actually found himself pretty uncomfortable and didn't really want to share anymore. However, he figured maybe if he were tactful enough he could pull it off.
"You kissed me last night," he said unenthusiastically, instantly taking on his social persona. He figured Eric would respond better to that than his truthfully more lively personality.
Eric's eyes widened and his mouth opened, giving Craig a small amount of admitted pleasure.
"W…what? Don't fuckin' lie Craig! That's not fuckin' funny!" Eric hollered, angrily standing himself up and glaring down at his momentary enemy. Craig swallowed hard, though didn't want to seem intimidated. There was no way he was going to be a coward in the face of Cartman. He was the school bully so he had no reason to back down. He could take him.
Craig stood up and sort puffed out his chest as he got into Eric's face. Eric was considerably taller than him but, as he learned last night whilst they were fighting, he was stronger and he could definitely put him in his place. It would do Eric some good to learn that.
Cartman glared at him, his teeth gritted and his body shaking with rage. Craig was pretty calm, simply holding his ground and ensuring eye contact. That was usually how he got people to back off of him. After several moments, his tactic of sheer intensity worked, causing Eric to growl and hurl his coffee cup into the wall, shattering it. Craig looked towards the destruction, completely un-phased by it. Eric's tantrums were nothing new to anyone, so it certainly hadn't startled him or caught him off guard.
"Are you done?" Craig asked flatly, his eyes suddenly looking a little sleepy as he returned his gaze to Eric.
Eric glared at him before folding his arms across his chest and composing himself once more. He felt nauseated as he tried to figure out whether or not Craig was being truthful. No. There was no fucking way that was the truth. They both got hammered and Craig was just projecting his secret lust for Cartman onto him. He was lying so that he could have what he wanted, which was so obviously Eric's hot body. Who the hell wouldn't want a piece of that?
"Craig…I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" he said, an underlying sweetness in his tone that alerted Craig to the fact that something ridiculous was about to come out of his mouth. He watched Cartman, folding his arms across his chest with disdain as he went on.
"…I didn't mean to lose it right there. I didn't realize what was going on."
Craig raised one of his eyebrows skeptically as he started to tap one of his feet with exasperation. This was going to be amusing.
"Oh…really…and what is that, Cartman?"
"Well, clearly you're in love with me Craig. And who can blame you? It's not your fault I have such a hot body. But, I'm seriously Craig…I'd sooner fuck a wet napkin than you."
Craig rolled his eyes before letting out a frustrated sigh, "Yep. That's it Cartman. You nailed it. I'm head over heels in love with you," he replied, not really bothering to emphasize his sarcasm. He knew Eric would ignore it anyhow, seeing as he'd already made up his mind that this was the reality of it. Once Eric had determined the 'reality' of a situation that was all there was to it.
"Well…just try and keep your hands off of my rockin' body, fag."
Craig continued to stand, finding himself in utter disbelief at Cartman's delusions. He had to be the most insane person he'd ever met in his life. Still, for whatever reason, he found himself wanting to hang out with him. He was interesting.
"So will you take me to school then?" Craig asked, not really wanting to have to walk. He still didn't have a car. His parents were making him save up money to buy himself a car. They wanted him to be 'responsible' and shit, which he found to be particularly vexing.
"Yeah, sure," Eric replied, walking into the kitchen. He had to find a broom and clean the mess he'd made up. Normally he wouldn't bother to clean up anything around the house, but breaking that cup was something he considered to be evidence of his mental instability and he wanted to hide it.
"Do you want some help?" Craig asked as he realized Eric was gathering cleaning supplies. He figured he was probably pretty embarrassed about the outburst he'd had, though he knew he would never admit it.
"No…can you go grab my backpack out of my room for me though? We can leave after I get this cleaned."
Craig nodded in the affirmative as he made his way up the stairs. He was in a hurry, too, and whatever he could do to make getting out of Eric's house easier he would do.
As he made his way into Eric's room, he found himself further surprised. It was…chaotic, to say the least. His bed was made neatly, pillows all placed in order by size. Then there was his computer desk, which had piles and piles of paper, old chip bags and soda cans. He found himself a little concerned as he noted piles of clothing in one corner, while in another there was complete organization of books, also stacked atop each other according to size. Jesus…who lived like this?
He scanned his eyes across the room some more before locating the backpack, which was on the other side of his computer desk, a few empty bags of Doritos strewn atop it. Christ, he must've come home from school every day and downed like five bags of chips and an equivalent amount of soda. No wonder he was such a chubby motherfucker. It was amazing, he noted as he snatched up the backpack, that he wasn't still obese as he'd been as a child.
Craig casually slung the backpack over his shoulder as he hurried out of the room, eager to leave Eric's house. It was weird. There was definitely a part of him that wanted to hang out with Eric. He'd had a surprising amount of fun with him the night before and he sort of felt like they could have plenty of fun together in the future if they pursued a friendship. However, there was another part of him that really despised him and couldn't wait to get the fuck away from him. It was a little confusing.
"Alright, asshole. Let's get out of here," Eric demanded as he walked up to Craig and snatched the backpack from him. Craig was surprised as he looked towards where the coffee had been to see it completely clean. On top of that, Eric had obviously thrown some cologne on and fixed up his hair a bit. Jesus, he was quick.
"Uh…okay…" Craig submitted, following Cartman out of his house. It was a great relief to step out into the sunlight, "can you swing by my house so I can get my stuff?" Craig suddenly asked, realizing he didn't have his own backpack. That was stupid of him.
"Yeah, whatever," Cartman said, seeming completely uninterested. It was weird how he could go from enraged to indifferent in a matter of minutes. He was definitely an interesting person.
Cartman plopped into the driver's side of the car and started it, waiting for Craig to settle himself before backing out of the driveway. Craig couldn't help but feel uncomfortable as they started to drive towards his house. They weren't conversing at all. Eric seemed to be totally wrapped up in whatever thoughts he was having, which was okay. However, unlike Cartman, Craig felt very uncomfortable in the silence. He wanted nothing more than to reach out and turn on the radio, but figured he risked the possibility of a severe tongue lashing if he did.
Luckily, they reached Craig's house rather quickly.
"Hurry up, fag," Eric instructed as he parked in Craig's driveway and leaned back in his chair. He appeared very cold and uncaring, which made Craig a little nervous. How could he be so carefree with the events from the night and morning they'd shared together? Did he really believe he hadn't kissed him? Was he truly that delusional? There was no way…
"Uh…yeah…" he said cautiously as he hopped out of the car and made his way into his house.
Eric, finding himself in the intolerable, self-loathing silence, flipped the radio on. As he sat there, mindlessly enjoying the sounds of the senseless droll that was pop radio, he found himself running thoughts of the previous night through his head. He had to admit it did vex him that he couldn't quite remember what had happened. Of course, up until this moment, he hadn't had any time alone to think about it.
He stared out his window, his hands placed casually behind his head as he rested against the back of his seat. He narrowed his eyes as he thought about it. What was the last thing he remembered?
He pushed his tongue to the side of his mouth as he concentrated. Well, he remembered everything clearly up until he and Craig had started marathon drinking. What had they discussed though? He vaguely remembered something about Craig pissing on Bebe's face…HAH! Yes…that glorious bit of information had soaked itself in.
He smirked to himself victoriously. He'd remembered forcing himself to absorb that before Craig had shared it. He knew he was going to need it. Still…he couldn't remember if he really had kissed Craig.
He narrowed his eyes once more, lost in thought. However, before he could remember any further details from the previous night, Craig thrust open the passenger door and plopped back into his seat.
"What took you so long asshole?" Eric demanded, knowing damn well Craig hadn't taken long at all. He just wanted to pester him.
"I wasn't even that long!" Craig protested, buckling himself in.
Eric rolled his eyes, irritated that Craig was challenging him, even though he knew he would. That was why he had done it in the first place.
"Whatever," Eric said as he backed out of Craig's driveway and headed towards their high school.
They were now seniors; the big dogs on campus. Everyone was either afraid of them or looked up to them. For once, in Eric's young life, the majority of people around him respected him for at least that.
Craig was sitting, a little more comfortably with the music on, silently for the drive. As he rode he couldn't help but wonder if Eric really couldn't remember the night before. And, even if he didn't, why didn't he believe him that he'd kissed him? Did he even believe that a kiss had taken place? If he did, did he think that it was Craig who had kissed him? What the fuck was running through that warped little mind of his?
"Uh…Cartman?" he suddenly spoke up, his head starting to hurt a bit as he tried to understand the situation he'd landed himself in.
"What?" Eric asked, sounding irritated. He didn't feel like talking.
"You aren't going to tell anyone we kissed, right?" he insisted. He figured if he worded it in such a way that made it seem consensual maybe he would acknowledge the question.
"The fuck, Craig? Why the fuck would I tell anyone that? Besides…we didn't kiss. You were fantasizing dick wad. I'm sorry you want me so bad but can you at least keep your goddamn dick sucking mouth shut?"
Craig normally would've murdered someone for speaking to him like that, but found himself incredibly relieved. Cool. Eric thought (he assumed anyway) that it didn't happen. Not only that, he was embarrassed by the notion. The kiss would forever remain a secret; like it had never even happened.
"Right…sorry. I won't say anything."
"Good…Jesus. I have to take care of everyone around here, don't I?" Eric said, genuinely exasperated. He really thought, in that fucked up head of his, that he did everyone around him good.
The rest of the ride was silent and, once they'd reached the parking lot, both of them were relieved to see their separate sets of friends.
Eric turned the car off and both of them got out. Craig actually did find himself a little embarrassed that he'd arrived in Eric's car for school. Perhaps it did look a little faggy. Even if it didn't, it certainly turned heads. They definitely weren't in the same social circle and was confusing to see the two of them rolling up together.
Cartman, on the other hand, really didn't give a shit about who he'd arrived with. He simply made his way over to his friends, completely oblivious to the situation.
"Craig…uh…what's going on? Why did Cartman bring you to school?" Token asked as his friend walked over. The group consisted of Token, Tweek and Clyde.
"Nothing. He had alcohol so I drank with him last night and he offered me a ride."
Clyde looked him over skeptically, "uh…okay?"
Craig shifted uncomfortably, "dude…don't worry about it, alright? It's not like we're friends or anything. He had whiskey and I wanted some. End of story. Plus you guys know I don't have a car…what's the big deal?"
The three boys shook their heads and shrugged, eyes wide. They didn't want to set Craig off.
"N-nothing. No big deal at all…" Tweek insisted, his eye twitching a bit. He wasn't quite so bad as he'd been as a kid, but he still had muscle spasms from time to time.
Craig eyed them all before adjusting his backpack on his shoulder, "c'mon then. Let's go…" he instructed as he started to walk towards the school. The other three looked at each other for a moment before shrugging and following their unspoken leader.
While all of this was occurring, Cartman had united with his group. No one really bothered to say anything at first about it because social status wasn't as big a deal to them. However, it definitely didn't go unnoticed and once they'd all goofed off for a bit and exchanged any unfinished homework amongst the group, Stan asked about it.
"So, why was Craig with you this morning? You guys hanging out now?"
"No…I'm not fucking hanging out with Craig. I was bored and I had alcohol. If Kahl here hadn't hung up on me so rudely last night he could've had a little fun last night."
"What? Why didn't you ask me dude? I would've came and drank with you!" Stan objected, sounding genuinely offended that he wasn't invited.
"Because, Hippie, you're a goddamn alcoholic. I wanted to share the alcohol, not have you're drunk ass downing the whole bottle to yourself!" Eric retorted.
Stan rolled his eyes, though was quietly a little bothered by what Cartman had said. Cartman definitely noticed and took a small amount of pleasure from it.
"Jesus…why do you have to be so stupid?" Kyle spoke up, irritated that Cartman was feeding off of his best friend's insecurities. Sure, he wasn't really thrilled that Stan had acquired an alcohol problem, but he certainly wasn't about to let Cartman sit there and belittle him either.
"Oh, I'm sorry…was that a gay little Jew I just heard telling me that I'm stupid when he was the one who didn't get to have any free whiskey and unsupervised fun last night?"
Kyle gritted his teeth a bit in irritation, which Eric found wildly attractive and exciting. That goddamned Jew…he was so enthralling.
"Whatever…" he said angrily as he grabbed onto Stan's arm and started to walk away. Eric felt himself start to panic as Kyle walked away from him. He wanted…no…needed his attention. He couldn't let him get away that easily.
"So…what about tonight then? What are you guys doing? It's Friday…" Cartman stammered as he caught up to his friends and walked beside them.
"I'm hanging out with Red tonight…" Kenny answered, walking casually beside his friends. He'd stopped wearing that stupid orange parka of his so people could actually understand him now.
"Oh yeah?" Stan asked, immediately intrigued. Of the whole group Stan and Kenny were definitely the most interested in sex, which had always caught Eric's attention. Why was Kyle so indifferent about sex? Sure, Eric was too…but that was mostly because the sex people around him liked to discuss was a lot less violent than anything capable of arousing him. He simply wasn't interested in your run of the mill, regular day-to-day sex. But Kyle…Kyle was a sweet soul. Why wasn't he more intrigued by sex? Didn't he like talking about women? Everyone else sure as hell seemed to enjoy it…
"Hey Kahl…what're you doing tonight?" Eric asked as Kenny and Stan blathered on about banging Red and how awesome it was going to be for him.
Kyle, slightly vulnerable from the fact that his best friend was providing attention for someone else, spoke rather casually with Eric. That was the nature of their relationship. They would fight and get at each other's throats one moment and be completely friendly the next. It hadn't always been that way, but over the years Kyle had seemed to find some forgiveness in his heart for the awful things Eric did to him on a daily basis. It was…surprisingly, not that irritating. As much as Cartman sadistically enjoyed Kyle's suffering he had to admit that, somewhere deep down in that feminine area of his psyche, he was drawn to Kyle on a rather affectionate level. That was actually partially why he would tease so frequently.
"I dunno. Nothing really I guess. Stan has plans with Wendy."
Cartman nodded, knowing very well that Kyle was bummed out by this. Those two had such a close friendship people probably would've considered it to be unhealthy at times. Cartman always took advantage of these vulnerable moments where Kyle felt stranded and abandoned by his super best friend.
"Do you want to come over to my house? I can probably get us something to drink?"
Kyle squinched up his nose, "Cartman…you know I don't drink."
Shit. He was losing him.
"Fine, fine…I'm sorry. I know…" Cartman quickly interrupted, not wanting to miss his opportunity to spend his Friday night with Kyle. He had to have him over. He just had to.
Kyle raised one of his eyebrows as he looked his friend up and down skeptically. He could see that Eric was about to be semi-nice, which always caught him off guard. It was in those brief moments of genuine sweetness that Kyle would second guess himself and open up. He wasn't sure why, after all of these years, he still thought Cartman could change. Perhaps it was because, in those fleeting moments, he could see that Cartman honestly cared for him. It was times like those that Kyle felt like there really was hope for him.
"…We don't have to drink then, Kahl. We can just hang out and watch TV or whatever. Just…come on. What else are you doing? It could be fun…"
Kyle eyed him for a moment before letting out a sigh of defeat.
"Yeah, okay, fine. But you need to drive because Stan took me to school today."
Eric smirked at him, trying not to look overly excited.
"Killer. I'll see you after class then."
