To Make up For Lost Time
Bianca's POV
Walking hurts. That's as simple as it is, especially when you are in three and a half inch heels. But those are just some of the minor sacrifices you have to make for height.
"I hope Cameron is appreciative when I get there," I muttered, turning down another street. I've been walking for at least fifteen minutes and I was almost to my destination. If only he lived closer to school, this would be so much easier.
Eventually I got to Cameron's house and was kind of forgetting the cause. I rang the doorbell anyways and heard the cheery chimes echo throughout the house. It was nice, as far as houses go; with a little garden in the front with miniature lawn ornaments spread throughout the front yard. It was your average suburban home, but why did my heart quicken a little at the thought of it?
That's not important right now, but what is, is that Cameron answered the door. He filled the door frame and looked down at me. He looked a little tousled with the bed head look going on and his shirt being a bit ruffled.
"Hey... Bianca," he said in that awkward way of his.
"Hi Cameron. Look, I know it's a tad bit odd that I popped up at your door unexpectedly and everything, but I really need to talk with you," I said, not missing a beat. He still looked slightly bewildered, but stepped outside anyways. We then sat in the Hawaiian print chairs on his minuscule porch. It was comfy, not to mention peaceful out here. I wonder why he looked so scared.
"Bianca, I-"
"Wait. I have to go first," I interrupted. "Cameron, I have been thinking of you lately and wondering why just as much. I mean, I have a mega-cute boyfriend and everything, but he's no you. I mean he is a model, and pretty much every girl and even a select group of boys are pining over him, and he can tell what colors compliment my skin tone and he has super cool hair that does this little flip-thingy if he bobs his head a certain way." I paused to smile; I am really going to miss Jake.
"Bianca, you don't-"
"I am not done! Anyhow... I have been kind of nervous telling you this, especially when I didn't really believe you when you told me – talk about your average hypocrite – but I think I'm falling for you." I paused once again and waited for Cameron's reaction.
He just sat there.
"Did you hear me?" I demanded, "I just told you that I love you, the least you could do is acknowledge that!"
"Damn it, Bianca! You put this on me now?" he asked harshly, standing up and running his fingers through his already messy hair.
"What do you mean, I put this on you? You technically put this on me first," I pointed out.
"It doesn't matter who did what first, but what matters is, why? When did you 'realize' that you 'loved me'?" he asked, using air quotations.
"Why does that matter?" I could not believe what I was hearing, Cameron had never acted like this towards me before.
"You can't just mess with people, Bianca. They have feelings and emotions that aren't meant to be toyed with. You have done this to me so many times that I don't think I could possibly handle it any more than I already have. I feel as if you take me and everyone around you for granted. You treat us like dolls that you can play with until you get bored and throw us back into the closet as if we don't matter and play with some other thing that fills your attention for the moment. And I can't take it anymore!" He was breathing heavily and looked a little more relaxed after spewing all of his word vomit. I, for one, could not believe my sweet, sweet Cameron used the f-bomb or that he thinks that I use people.
"Now wait a minute," I said, now getting a little angry, "you just can't blow up in my face after I tell you I love you. You're supposed to look surprised, then slowly transform the look on your face into a growing smile, lock eyes, then embrace me like I was a long lost lover that you haven't seen in over eight years, and sweep me off my damn feet. You're not following my dream book!" Now I am pissed, all I wanted to do was check off two more pages, what was the big deal? It's not like there were other girls lining down the block for him. Jeez.
"This is real life, mot one of your stupid fantasy, dream-lives that you made on a day you couldn't hang out with Jake. Why don't you do us both a favor and go back to your floppy-haired, dream boat? Huh? Go on, go. Get!" Cameron shouted, waving at me like I was a stray animal; a vermin.
"If that's what you want," I said, close to tears. This was not the person I fell in love with.
"It is," he said coolly. I could only nod and try not to break down right in front of him. How could I be so stupid?
"Alrighty then. Bye Cameron," I said, walking off his porch.
"Bye," he stated.
"I meant what I said," I called, walking down the driveway. "I love you!"
The next thing I heard was the door slamming and that's when I broke down; right on his driveway in the middle of the world.
-x-
I came home, tired, upset, and tear stained. Kat asked if I wanted to talk about it and go over some feminist ideas, but I couldn't trash talk him yet; it was just all too fresh. If I tried to bandage the wounds, the band-aid would fall off due to it being so blood-soaked. It really hurt that he said all of those things, especially since I knew, with all that force in his voice that he had meant it. And somewhere in the very back of my incredibly confused and clouded brain I knew that he was right. It was just so hard to admit it.
The worst part was that I could not cross off the two pages I've been waiting to do for my entire life; fall in love and have sex. It would have worked too if it wasn't for that meddling boy and the stupid writer. Cameron would have – no, should have – embraced me. It would have made things a whole lot easier and that simple embrace would have lead to several kisses in various places and one sloppily-made bed.
If only...
(A/N: So, huh? Huh? Not like you anticipated, am I right? I am thinking about making this into a series and not just a two- or three-shot. What do you think? Just PM me or write a little review (I allow anonymous ones too). Tell me what you think :DD)
