Chapter Two: Of Ranmas and Bugcatchers

The manner in which Ranma woke was to her mind quite unusual. She might not have awoken at all to the delicate motions across her scalp if not for the disturbing sensation that this had happened before. Her mother? It was faint but Ranma could almost picture it, caring hands threading their way through her hair back when she was just a small boy and nothing more.

Awakening further, Ranma took note of her body's soft and plushy surroundings. "Snorlax..." Her eyes darkened as she realized the truth, that the stupid bear wasn't trying to comb her hair, it was trying to claw through her skull. Admittedly at this rate it would take weeks to pierce her ki-reinforced skin, but it was the thought that counted.

"Fine, I'll take you with me if that's what you really want." Ranma found companions wherever she could, and at this point in life her standards were very, very low. It probably didn't help that she was only half certain she wasn't still dreaming. Twisting young trees into knots to form a backpack for the lethargic creature she ignored its struggles and strapped it into the contraption. It calmed down considerably after she jumped impossibly high into the treetops, tossing nearby berries into the bear's mouth as she went. A swing on a branch redirected her through another aerial berry patch, a few of which she sampled and shivered in delight at the shockingly juicy flavor. Unable to resist she f swung about the tree like a monkey, feet taking the place of hands as she sated hunger. The bear's whining "..lax" reminded of her mission. Fashioning a cup of leaves and twigs she filled it to the brim with the zesty fare before dropping to the ground to attach it to the backpack's cup holder. "Upsy daisy." The two-ton weight was actually a little less than Ryoga's weighted backpack and umbrella, but the awkwardness of the weight more than made up for the difference. If not for the berry's rejuvenatory powers Ranma might have just left the dead weight behind, but Ranma Saotome was no quitter! Between the options of walking on all fours and expending the ki to stick herself to the ground to keep from falling backwards she quite resolutely took the more dignified approach. "You're lucky you make a good sleeping bag." She didn't mention the other reason – it probably wouldn't look good if it ever got back to Nerima that a wild bear-thing reminded her of her mother.

She relaxed a little as she took her first step, idly titling her new companion Puffy. He – she was fairly certain it was male – wasn't really such a bad travel companion. No rants like Ryoga or awkward glomps like with Mousse, not even the hypocritical lectures of her father. If he was a little loud chewing the berries, well, no one's perfect. And even if she was suspicious that he might still be trying to kill her, at least the clawed paw unoccupied with food running along her scalp seemed a touch gentler than before. She really hoped she wasn't just imagining the change.

"Okay, Puffy's on board, now I just need a bath." Ranma had relatively high tolerances for filth, but that collision with the ectoplasm had left her reeking and stained a light green all over. Her hair – now unbound thanks to Puffy's efforts – was dyed the dark green of a leaf in shade. The whole effect had her feeling vaguely itchy.

A terribly strange conversation drifted on the wind. It only grew stranger as she came close enough to pick out all the words. "I know you like bug pokemon, but do you LOVE bug pokemon?"

"I LOVE bug pokemon, don't you just LOVE IT when you meet a girl who likes bug pokemon?"

"Dude, that's never happened to me, but it would be SO COOL if it DID!"

Ranma steeled herself against the needy nerd vibe coming from the clearing and stepped into view. "Hey, uh, guys, any chance you can help me find-" Ranma just drew a hand down her face at the sorry sight of the two teenage males rocketing back as blood gushed from their noses. Perhaps she should have taken the time to weave a shirt together. Honestly though, it wasn't as if she had ever acted so disgracefully about the subject, so why was it that every boy she met was such a pervert? The ensuing stain ensured that any attempt at stealing or conning them out of their shirts was no longer a viable option. "Not every half naked girl coming out of the woods looking for help is a forest nymph coming to take your virginity!" Ranma wasn't sure where that particular outburst had come from but felt it was probably best to make her exit. Slipping through the shrubbery she quite unexpectedly spawned a second nerd legend that day besides that of a green forest nymph searching for virgins. Blending in as she was with the green undergrowth, the rising bug catchers nearly collapsed a second time as they caught sight of a wild snorlax apparently floating in midair.

Ranma was half tempted to find a dimension without boys, but it was hardly as if she had had much better lucky with girls over the years. Well, even if this dimension did have perverts maybe she'd get lucky and there wouldn't be any furry hellspawn, otherwise known as cats. She was drifting again, she realized. "Err, what are you?" A strange crescent-shaped green cocoon with eyes and a funny nose was staring at her in fear. Noting the bruises that covered its stone-hard carapace she turned to look guiltily at the path of destruction she'd left in her wake. "Sorry... your skin feels a little like the handle of a machete." With deliberate grace Ranma settled the creature against a tree that had escaped the meandering trail of devastation. Its eyes wouldn't stop staring at her. "Berry?" She snatched the treat from Puffy's open mouth, thoroughly baffling him with its sudden disappearance for several minute before he resumed eating, mystery unsolved. Unfortunately her gift went untasted as the cocooned insect refused to move even after she smeared the berry across its lips. "Hey, umm, look! It's Elvis!" Pointing behind it she spun and ran without checking to see if it fell for her ploy, Puffy's tummy bouncing against her back. It wasn't her best exit but she firmly believed she had done what had to be done.

"Snor!"

"Oye, let go!" Both of Puffy's paws were latched around Ranma's eyes in a stubborn deathgrip as they hurtled down a near-vertical cliff face. "It's not like we're all that high." Finally prying apart his claws she settled his weight above her core and relaxed her legs in preparation. Half a second later as her toes reached the ground her muscles tightened, their released power sending shockwaves through the ground, pebbles firing into the air as she sank in to her knees in the rock due to Puffy's immense weight. "See, we're already here." Stepping out of her cement shoes she peered back into the funny bear's face. "You know, maybe you should lay off the berries." She wasn't sure how he managed to turn red through his fur, but any further and he might keel over. "Never mind, forget I said anything."

As they (Ranma) resumed walking, Puffy once more took up his favored activity. Unfortunately he was deprived of his normal catlike grace (or so his mother had always told him) by his lingering preoccupation with his transportation's unholy suggestion. Spilling his pecha berry on the green creature carrying him (for it could not be human) he was quite dismayed when his questing paw splattered the delicate berry throughout the female's hair. She was a rather smelly thing, but he had eaten worse. Fastening his paws on either side of her head he took a delicate lick to test the flavor.

Ranma was rather surprised by the sudden change of behavior from the bear but took it in stride. The lick was sort of refreshing and it seemed innocent enough. Besides, it wasn't as if she was getting any dirtier. "Hey! No teeth!" Puffy just turned his jaw for another try. "Fine, break your teeth for all I care." Ranma wondered if this wasn't how hats had initially caught on back in the stone age. Doing her best to ignore the strange sensations on her scalp she shivered slightly as a rush of cool forest air blew across her saliva-slicked hair following the bear's return to berry-eating. Little did she know the future consequences of her new hairstyle.

End Chapter 2:

I'm sort of getting an Alice in Wonderland vibe to this story but I'm trying to make it semi-serious at the same time... Well, we'll see what happens, ne? Not a whole lot of fans for this cross apparently so we'll just have to make up for it with enthusiasm!

Btw... as of now, after who knows how many years away from Pokemon, I'm sad to say I only remember a handful of the characters, and am quite ignorant of any new ones that may have come along. If someone knows a character beyond those found in the first season of Pokemon who you think is perfect for this story feel free to mention them. Chances are I'll just keep with the OC generation though. Everyone like Puffy?