Chapter 2

Spock's POV

"Captain!" I yelled, seeing Jim walk across the Star Fleet entrance room. He looked at me with piercing blue orbs, and then rolled them, walking away from me. I frowned, chasing after him. We ended up in the elevator. "Captain, I realize now that I should have told you that I filed a report about the volcano. I apologize." I told him. "It's not Captain anymore, Spock. It's First Officer. I was demoted, and you were reassigned." He responded, his arms crossed at the wrists as he held his hat politely. "You were demoted?" I blinked. I was unaware of that. "Spock, I saved your life, and you stabbed me in the back. That's what I know, and that's what bothers me about you." He snapped. I could see the hurt hidden in his face, and I almost squirmed. He was making me feel guilty. Sometimes, Jim made it so hard not to feel. "I was under the impression that you would have been honest in your Captain's log." I tried to defend myself, and the elevator doors opened, Jim walking out in front of me angrily. I didn't like when Jim was upset. "Commander, I wish you would just accept my apology-" I started, and he whirled around, glaring at me intensely with those huge blue eyes. I didn't like that it made something inside me stir. I pushed it away.

"Do you understand why I went back for you?" Jim begged me, hurt rubbed all over his expression. It pained me slightly to see that I was the cause of his sadness. "Quite frankly, no." I admitted. He rolled his eyes. I could tell he was restraining something, but I had no clue what it could be. "Mr. Spock." I turned to see Captain Barry in front of me. "It seems that you have been reassigned. That means you're with me, Commander." He smiled, and I blinked in return. He walked away, and I turned back towards Jim. He was shaking his head, and then looked back at me. "Truth is, Spock, I'm going to miss you." He admitted, and he looked at me like he was waiting for me to say something. I wanted to say that I would miss him too, but Vulcans don't lie. I wouldn't allow myself to miss Jim, because it would hurt too much. He scoffed and walked away, leaving me standing by the door. Ugh. He always makes me feel, and I hate feeling. Not even Uhura coaxes that many feelings out of me. Damn that man.

I sit down next to Captain Barry, fidgeting. Admiral Marcus began speaking about John Harrison, but I couldn't pay attention. I was watching Jim, noticing little details about him. Like the way his eyebrows creased together when he was focusing hard. The way he tapped his fingers on the desk as Marcus made a stupid joke and he refused to laugh. The way his hair always somehow managed to go up, even though he had bangs, just like me. Jim rolled his shoulders back, and then looked up at me. I immediately looked away, my heart thumping nervously. I cursed it angrily. Jim does not make me feel anything, I said to myself. Oh, who the hell was I kidding?

Jim's POV

I sat down next to Captain Pike. I couldn't believe that I was going to be stuck as a First Officer. But more importantly, how could Spock not understand why I went back for him? I thought it was obvious how in love with him I was. Scotty is the only one who actually knows the secret. Fortunately for me, he also knows all the gossip. So I usually ask him if anything is going around about me and Spock, but he says that no one suspects a thing.

I sensed someone's eyes on me, and I looked up, surprised to find Spock staring at me. When I met his eye, he looked away awkwardly, and I caught his face flush slightly. I looked down too, feeling a blush appear on my cheeks as well. Why was he staring at me? Damn Spock for making me feel this way.

Ever since I met him, I knew I wasn't going to like him. And I don't. Like and love are two very different things. Like means that you appreciate cute little things that person does, or the way they dress. The cute little things that Spock does makes me want to punch him in the face. No, love is an aching want. I cherish the way he looks at me, and everytime I see him, I want to kiss him, run my fingers through his always perfect hair, and much more. But I can't. And that is love.

I don't like him specifically, because of how hard I fell for him the second that I saw him. I knew instantly, when his eyes met mine, that I was a goner. And surprise, surprise. It would be my bad luck for the love of my life to be m emotionless robot.

Spock's POV

"Clear the room!" Jim screamed, and then the glass windows started shattering. I ducked under the table, and saw Admiral Marcuz dive behind a cement column. Several Captains and First Officers were already shot, and more were on the move, looking for safe objects to hide behind. The one person I couldn't find was Jim. "COMMANDER KIRK!" I yelled, looking around for him wildly. "Don't be dead, goddamnit Jim." I growled, ducking behind a couch. As I did, I saw Captain Pike struggling to move across the floor to safety. His leg wasn't working. I started to move towards him cautiously, and then he was shot again in the shoulder, knocking him back. I shouted in surprise and raced forward, grabbing him and dragging him into a deep room, away from the gunfire. He was breathing heavily, eyes boring into mine. Tears were forming pools in the edges of his eyes, and I knew he was going to die. I was going to choose not to feel, and then had another idea. I connected two of my fingers to his cheek, and my thumb under his chin, and felt what he felt. I was hit instantly with anger, anger with John Harrison for trying to kill him. Also, there was a blinding fear that he wasn't going to make it, and the smallest sliver of acceptance, like he knew that it was impossible for him to survive at this stage. But most of all, there was a strong blast of desperation, mostly to see how Jim was going to turn out. Pike was eager to know what was going to happen in the future, but there was also a desperation to see the man one last time, as if to say goodbye. I disconnected from his feelings, swallowing hard. It was exactly what I had felt when my planet was destroyed. I shook it all away, and then suddenly, Jim appeared next to me. He looked at Pike and sunk to his knees, breathing hard. His eyes became extremely wide, his breath catching in his throat. He looked at me wildly for a moment, searching my eyes for something. I watched painfully as Jim checked Pike's pulse, and began to cry as he realized that his friend was gone.

I tried not to feel as I watched Jim sob. I felt a small tear in my heart as Jim rested his head on Pike's chest, his fingers curling around Pike's jacket. He lifted his head after a few moments, blinking away fast tears.

I wanted to do something. I wanted to be able to comfort Jim, to let him know that I was here for him, and that everything would be okay. I could have given him... a- a hug. I believe that's what humans do. I tried to tell myself that it was logical in the human world, that it was simply protocol for me to comfort Jim. But I just couldn't. I cursed my Vulcan senses, but at least they allowed me not share the pain that Jim felt, looking at his past Captain. Jim eventually stood up, and put his hand on my shoulder. I froze as I felt electricity shoot through me where he touched me. He didn't say anything, and I knew that he was partly comforting me, though I didn't need it, and at the same time, giving me a chance to comfort him. I just stared at Pike, knowing I couldn't give Jim what he wanted. His hand left my shoulder, and he walked away.