I am so happy with the responses to this story so far! I'm so glad so many of you guys like it! I really hope you'll like this chapter just as much!
JustWatchWhatHappens: Thank you so much! You're amazing!
FuriedNight: You are so welcome! Thank you so much for the request! I promise I will start working on the others soon too. I have some ideas but so many things have been happening lately. I'm so excited for them. Thank you for the idea! I'm gonna use that! I hope to update that story next. Fingers crossed!
Teeloganroryflan: Thank you so much!
Fanz4life: Thank you so much! I love writing Jack and Race brotherly things, if you can tell. I'm glad you like it!
BroadwayIsMyPurposeInLife: I was thinking about doing that, but my fear was that I would make them sound too smart and educated. Truth is, they're just not. Also, I think it really helps to hear his voice while you're reading. Thank you so much for reviewing! Love ya, hon!
Selizabethharrisburg: Aww thank you so much! I was so nervous about it and I still am. The one thing that scared me the most was that they would sound too much alike. I did my best, please tell me if I did it right! First person narroration is still new to me. Thank you for your faith in me though I worked very hard on this chapter. ;)
bexlynne: Thank you so much! I am so happy you liked it! I worked so hard on it and I could be happier that you liked it so much! Thank you! Love ya, hon!
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Alright, I would just like to let you guys know that I appreciate every single one of you! I revised this chapter about three or four times to make sure it was the best I could make it before I posted it. I so hope it lives up to the fame of the first chapter.
Enjoy!
I was runnin'. I couldn't look back. If I's looked back... I couldn't. I couldn't look back. It was like all those dreams that I's had just had ova' and ova' again. Ova' and ova' and ova' all's I could see was... him. I could see him with chains and metal sticks and I's couldn't turn around. If I turned around he'd take me back. I couldn't do it! Not again... not fer nothin'!
I was just out sellin' papes. I was alone taday. Crutchie was sick in bed. Poor kid didn't even have much ta keep him warm. Our lousy blankets were tearin' and stiff. I didn't have 'nough money ta get him the meds he needed, eitha'. And I's was sellin' so many papes for so many boys. I didn't want 'em out here, like this. The littles didn't have coats or any good shoes. It was too cold for 'em. I was not losin' one of 'em ta this damn weather. No way.
I's heard the whistle blow. It was loud. And I saw bulls movin' in the crowd. I counted three. And then him. He was closer ta me than any of the others. I ducked into an ally. It was the one I could run through ta get home. Ta get ta my boys. And I hadn't prayed in so long till that day. That day when the last few of my papes fell outta my hand and I was goin' as fast as I could ta get back ta my brothas.
Then, I heard the whistle blow again. But this time, it wasn't behind me...
He was at the end of my shortcut. He had cuffs in his hands. I don't know how he did it, but he was there, blockin' me in, away from my boys. I just wanted my boys. It was cold. I wanted ta huddle tagetha' with 'em and keep 'em as warm as I could. But all's I could do was take a few steps back when the Spida' took a step closa' ta me.
"Jack Kelly..." Snyder had a smile on his face. It made me feel a little sick. "Where are all your little friends on this fine day?" he spat out, closin' in on me. I know I neva' tell my brothas I'm scared... but I am. I's can't go back there. Not again.
"Leave 'em outta this." And my boys were not goin' back there eitha'. Most of 'em have it rough as it is. Ain't no way I'm puttin' any of 'em in danger. Neva'. But Snyda' didn't care. He just smirked that stupid smirk that he always had on his face. He's evil. I knows it. He has ta be. The devil musta been in him. I swear that man didn't even have a heart.
"Sorry, Mr. Kelly, I'm afraid your friends are not going to be left out of punishment for all the crimes they've committed." He ain't sorry. Neva' will be. And I had ta get outta there. So's I did what I had ta do. I ran up ta him and pushed him away with all the strength I had. The bulls were everywhere but I knew the streets. All's I had ta do was get away long enough ta make a run for it.
I grabbed the metal cuffs outta Snyda's hand and pushed him back inta the wall. Then I ran through two a' the guards that tried ta grab me. I slapped the cuffs around their wrists and ran for it. I just had ta make it home. Back ta my boys. I had ta get back ta them.
I kept runnin' till I made it ta the fire escape. I climbed up, like always, before I climbed in the window and shut the thing tight behind me. And then I fell ta the ground. I could heard myself breathin'. Fer a minute, I couldn't move.
"Get up, boy!"
"Stop screaming, you weak little bastard!"
"Your friends aren't gonna miss you. You couldn't protect them anyways!"
I winced when I remembered those words. They still hurt. My friends were more than friends. They was my brothas. I's rememba when I came back. Crutchie was holdin' onta me so tight and Race... he was cryin'. But that kid'll deny it till the day he dies. Told me about all the boys. They's was so hard ta deal with when I was gone, they said. They's was all upset and actin' up. And Race and Crutchie couldn't handle it all by themselves. Hell, I can't even do it all by myself... just... uh... don't tell my boys. And if Spot eva' found out, I'd be done for.
Oh how I wished I could be out in Santa Fe. If only I's could get there. Be away. Away from the bulls and the Refuge. One day... it wouldn't be such a crazy wish.
I sighed and looked around. The room was quiet. Every boy in it was asleep, 'side from one of my boys. My second. Race was at his bunk. I heard him sniffle. He musta been freezin'. I's saw him give his coat ta Romeo this mornin'. The littles were the coldest. The littles and... Crutchie. Race had been givin' up his coat and sleepin' with the younga' kids fer warmth. I's was doin' the same thing fer 'em too. I had ta huddle togetha' with Albert, Crutchie and Finch last night ta keep warm.
I took a glance over at my crippled brotha. Last I'd seen him, he was shiverin' under one lousy blanket. Now he was warmer. I didn't get why. Till I's saw 'em. Blankets. There was more a' them than when I left this mornin'. There was at least five more of 'em. Then I caught sight a' Race. He glanced back at me and then made a rush fer the door. And an odd feelin' burned inside me.
I don't rememba' much... I's only saw him. He was comin' fer us.
"Thief!"
I could hear it. I could see it all happenin'.
"Search the house!"
Oh god, I could see it all happenin'. They'd search the house... they'd find us! They'd drag him away! They'd take Race and who knows who else and all I saw was red.
"Racetrack Higgins, get your ass ova' here!" I was in the hall. I don't rememba' walkin'. All's I could think about was that Spida' that just cornered me less than a half hour ago. And he was comin', I knew it. And Race was not helpin'.
I watched him turn around with his cigar. Suddenly, he did not look like the boy I knew. I's couldn't see my friend. His blue eyes that were normally so friendly, made me feel cold. He looked like he didn't care. Like he didn't care that what he did might get us all locked up. And the next word he said was, "What?" like he didn't do nothin' wrong. Like he was above us. And I didn't like it.
"You know damn well 'what', Higgins!" What the hell was wrong with me? Race? Was I really yellin' at one of my best friends? God, was I shakin'? But then I's looked again. I swear I couldn't actually see my brotha. Snyda was comin' and this kid was gonna get us all caught. This stupid kid that only looked like Race. It couldn't a' been him. My eyes musta been workin' wrong.
The stupid kid in front a' me smirked and shook his head. "I don't know what you're talkin' bout, Kelly." And all's I could see was Snyda'. His stupid smirk was stuck in my head.
"I'm afraid your friends are not going to be left out of punishment for all the crimes they've committed."
Oh, I ain't lettin' it happen. Ova' my dead body. So, when he tried ta walk away, I grabbed his arm. I threw him 'gainst the wall and for a minute his eyes weren't blue no more. They was a really dark brown cola'. And he wasn't the pale, skinny fighter I's knew. He was talla' and bigger and he could cut through me with one glare. And I could feel myself startin' ta lose it. So's I held his arms above him. It was harder ta move that way.
"Get off a' me, Kelly!" His voice was way higher than it shoulda been. And I's could see him again. Kid looked terrified. But I didn't let go. I's could still hear Snyda' in my head. And Race didn't understand. I know he'd been there before, but he didn't get it. So's I was gonna make him understand. "Jack, get off!" His voice cracked and his face started turnin' pink. And somethin' about it felt real familia'. I just couldn't place it.
"You listen ta me, Higgins." My voice was harsher than I wanted it ta be. But I couldn't say what was in my head. Fer some reason, it wouldn't work. And so's I just kept holdin' him down, but I saw less and less a' Race and more and more of... him. And he tried ta fight against me, put I held him back.
"Stop tryin' ta fight it, Kelly. You're not strong enough to protect yourself. Your friends are probably doing just fine without you."
The words from all those months ago made me feel sick...
"Lemme go, Jack!" Race? Suddenly, I was back. Race was strugglin' against me and I still held him down. Fer some reason my hands wouldn't let go. I wouldn't get off a' him. "Lemme go!" The kid was beggin'. His voice as higher than normal and his eyes were so big and scared. And no matta' how bad I wanted ta let him go, I couldn't. "We're freezin', Jack!" He was yellin' at me like I didn't know it. Like I didn't know that my boys were sick and possibly dyin'. Oh God... I couldn't do it. "Romeo and Sniper had ta sleep in my bed last night cause they's was so cold!" I know! Why wouldn't it come outta my mouth? I know, damn it! But I couldn't let him go. He'd go out and do somethin' else stupid enough ta get him hunted down. Ta bring down the whole house. I's couldn't.
I saw the tears in his eyes. He was holdin' 'em back, but I could see 'em. "Crutchie's sick!" My heart stopped fer a second. No... not Crutchie. Not the kid. He'd been through too much ta lose now. He was gonna be fine... he had ta be fine. "What did ya want me ta do?!"
He was bein' stupid. He was gonna get us caught! "You go around, pullin' your irresponsible, stupid, arrogant crap with your damn cocky attitude, you're gonna get caught and you're gonna drag us all down with ya!"
"This is your last chance, Jack. Behave or it's your friends next."
"How about we go find ourselves another newsboy to keep you company? Maybe then you'll cooperate!"
"I'm not gonna rest until all those little thieves are locked up for good!"
I couldn't do it. Not again. But I couldn't even think before the next words were spoken. "We don't need ya, Race!"
Did I say that? It couldn'ta been me. No way in hell. Race was my best friend. Sure, he was stupid sometimes but... why was I sayin' these things?
Before I knew it, more crazy things were spillin' outta my mouth. Things that were no where near true. But then Race was different again. He wasn't the Race I knew. It was all in my head. It had ta be. Race wasn't the evil boy with the smirk and the Devil's glare in front a' me. It was like his body was taken ova'. Like my body was taken ova'. What was wrong with me?
"Ya come around here, smokin' that damn cigar, playin' your little card games, startin' fights with some of the littles and I'm sick a' it. I don't need ya makin' matta's worse, Higgins." What the hell, Kelly?! What're ya thinkin'?! It's Race! Racetrack Higgins! "Kids are already sick. I've been up for days tryin' ta pay rent for all of 'em and you think it's okay ta go out and give the bulls a reason ta search the house?" Why am I shakin?! What the hell's wrong with my eyes?! One minute I'm seein' my brotha, and the next I'm lookin' straight at the devil. I don't get it!
"Jack, stop it." That voice was familiar, but I's was too busy tryin' ta figure out who I was really talkin' to in front a' me. Then I saw those dark eyes again, so's I pushed him back inta the wall ta see the terrified blue ones all ova' again. And then I backed away, not really expectin' the person ta push me back inta the otha' wall. And afta' that, all's I knew was someone was fightin' me and I'd be damned if I's wasn't gonna fight back.
"Knock it off, Jack!" That was when the spell broke. Suddenly, I's could see again. And I didn't like what I saw.
Fer the first time in hours, I actually saw my friend. Race was on his ass across from me. He was absolutely terrified and I could see the tears runnin' down his face. He was grabbin' at his wrists like he was afraid of not bein' able ta do it again. Ta be able ta move his hands. And he was shakin'. He was breathin' too hard and his head was movin' around so fast, lookin' for anyway ta get outta there and suddenly, I knew why it all felt so familiar.
I could see the kid I didn't know yet. He was tied up tight in an old shack out back of a run down house. His hands were tied up ova' his head. His feet were barely touchin' the ground. There was a cloth in his mouth. Poor kid couldn't even call fer help.
He was covered in bruises. Didn't even have a shirt on ta try ta cover 'em up. There was blood in his hair. His hair was supposed ta be blonde. I's had seen this boy before. He spun stories on the street and picked pockets for some extra cash. None a' us had any clue he neva' actually got ta keep it.
When I went ta set him free, I saw the brightest blue eyes I's have eva' seen in my life.
I rememba' when he started yellin' at me when I took the gag outta his mouth. He couldn't barely speak English. He was an Italian boy. I didn't understand a word he said.
It took me foreva' ta cut him loose. I didn't find out till later that that was how he was kept every night. Held down by ropes and cloths and beaten every now and again ta make sure he knew who was in charge.
If I hadn't heard some whimpers, the kid might as well be dead by now. And that thought scared me like nothin' else.
I didn't know what happened till I was back in the bedroom. "Stupid!" I shouted at myself. Why would I do that? How could I do that? Race had been ta hell and back and I had the nerve ta hold him down like that? What the hell kind of a brother am I?
I didn't care if I's was cryin'. I didn't care if I's was hittin' the damn wall so hard my knuckles were bleedin'. And I didn't care that Crutchie was watchin' me from the doorway. All I cared about was gettin' Race back here in one piece. He was my best friend. Him and Crutchie both. I don't know what I'd do without 'em.
"We don't need ya..."
I felt my own words breakin' me. And I turned around and slid down the wall. I knew my crippled friend was waitin' fer me. And it took me a long time ta catch my breath and say somethin'.
"Crutch... I-" I cut myself off. I didn't deserve a friend right now. If there was someone my boys didn't need right now, it was me. Race wasn't bein' stupid, I was. If he hadn't stolen the blankets, I woulda. I knows I woulda. Crutchie was freezin' this mornin' and Romeo was coughin' like crazy. The kid may be reckless but he was not stupid.
"What's goin' on in that head a' yours, Jackie?" Crutchie sat on the bunk next ta me. I didn't say nothin'. I shook my head. I couldn't say anythin'. It was stupid. How could I?! If only I could get on a train. Go out ta Santa Fe and get away these kids. I couldn't ruin 'em anymore.
"Cmon, Jack, I only eva' see ya actin' so stupid afta' ya..." I was glad he didn't finish his sentence. I couldn't think 'bout it no more. It was too close. So's I pulled my knees ta my chest and let my head fall on my arms. "Jack why wouldn't ya tell me that?" It was a fair question. I neva' kept secrets from Crutchie. Neva'. We's have known each otha' foreva'. We's became newsies tagetha' afta' livin' on the streets fer years with only each otha'. But it didn't matta'. I couldn't get myself ta talk. "Jack if ya don't get off your ass right now and go find him, I will. Get your head outta that place out West and get back here! He didn't deserve that and ya know it!" I didn't. Oh God, why didn't I? Stupid kid. If I's had only believed him.
Race... of course he didn't deserve that. None of it. He was still a kid and I put him back inta the prison he grew up in. I knew I was cryin', but I hid my face. My boys couldn't see it. I couldn't let 'em see me like that.
When I looked up, Crutchie was gone. I saw Albert ova' by Romeo's bunk. He was rubbin' the coughin' kid's forehead. He shook his head. "He's gone, Jack." Stupid kid. Stupid, stubborn kid!
I ran. I ran as fast as I could. Crutchie may be a gimp, but damn, that boy could get somewhere real quick when he wanted to. I was screamin' his name. "Crutchie?!" Nothin'. "Crutchie!" Still silence. So in one last, desperate, attempt to find him, I screamed again. "Race?!"
I was shakin'. It musta been from the cold this time. No way I was still that upset. I'm Jack Kelly, for God's sake.
I stepped on somethin'. I thought it was nothin' but when I looked down at it, my heart stopped. It was a cigar. And it wasn't just any cigar. It was Race's cigar. The one he just stole two days ago. And there was no way that kid would just leave his most prized possession layin' in the mud.
I saw the horse tracks and the tire tracks. It didn't take long ta know where they were. And it didn't take long for my panic ta run through my head. No doubt in my mind that Crutchie found Race. And no doubt in my mind where they was.
The Refuge.
I was goin' numb. I couldn't feel my legs no more. It musta been why I was on my knees. But I picked up the cigar. I held it real tight in my hands.
What have I done?
I stared up at the thing. That stupid buildin' that I spent so much a' my life locked inside.
"Ya sure ya wanna do this, Jack?"
I almost shook my head at Al's question. But then I actually thought about it. I could do it. I had ta do it. Fer my brothas. Fer Race and Crutchie. I had ta get 'em out. I could do this. I could do it for them.
"Yeah... I'm sure." I turned around and gave my three friends a hug. Specs, Albert and JoJo. The youngest was holdin' back tears. Poor kid. "I'll be okay." They all nodded, but I ain't too sure they's actually believed me. "Make sure ya get 'em home. Make sure they's safe." And that was all I could say before I was walkin' inta hell.
Some guard grabbed my arm. He was shovin' me forward a lot. But I didn't fall. I wasn't gonna give inta them. Then we was outside the office. His office. He was a hell of a Spida'.
The guard pushed me forward. "The boy says he wants ta talk ta ya 'bout a trade." I saw that smirk. I didn't like it. It was too familia'. And it made me feel sick.
"Mr. Kelly? To what do I owe the pleasure?" He started rubbin' his hands tagetha'. Like he knew this would happen. But I didn't care. I just needed ta get 'em outta here. Crutchie wouldn't make it too far, bein' sick and all. And Race... oh that kid needed out. He couldn't be locked up. Not again. Not afta' the things he's done. The things he didn't have a choice in doin'. Not afta' everythin' he's lived through.
"You have two a' my boys." I crossed my arms and pulled myself away from the guard. I didn't need him ta hold me up. I could stand on my own. I ain't weak.
Snyda' shrugged. He looked down at some papers on his desk. "Higgins and Morris?" The man was evil. I swear he was the Devil. He had a happy look in his eyes. And I nodded.
"I'll serve for 'em. Just let 'em go." I thought it would be harda' than that. I thought I'd have ta fight my way through the rooms ta look for my boys. But I didn't.
"Get the rats." It was that simple. The guard did as he was told. And I waited there in silence with the Spida'. He just smiled at me. I knew right then. This was the plan all along. Drag my boys in so's he'd get me too. Get the money he lost when I's left. Bastard.
"Jack!" Oh, Crutch. When they's pushed him inta the room, he almost fell flat on his face. He didn't have his crutch. I caught him. He held onta me so tight. I won't eva' ferget the way he was shakin'.
"Kid..." It was less than a day. Less than a day in this damn place. My brotha was already shakin'. He was already cryin' in my arms. He was already in pain. They already beat him. And all's I could do was hold onta him tighta'.
"Where's Higgins?!" Crutchie jumped when Snyda' yelled like that. This kid was too young and innocent ta be here. He had cuffs on. Couldn't even give me a real hug. It hurt ta know that. No matta' what the situation was, if Crutchie could just hold onta me, we'd be okay. All those freezin' cold nights in the garbage and those long days when he couldn't walk no more. But we was okay. We made it through tagetha'. It's just... we's couldn't do this foreva'.
"I'm so sorry, Crutch..."
He looked up at me and shook his head. "What're ya doin' here, Jack?" Poor kid... I had ta do this. I had ta get 'em out.
"I'm gettin' ya outta here, kid. You and Race... ya don't deserve this. You's was right." He was always right. Why didn't I listen ta this kid more often?
Then I heard someone else fall ta the ground. I glanced ova' Crutchie's head. I rubbed at my eyes when I saw him. I wasn't cryin'... but... seein' Race like that... it was hard.
His hands was behind his back. They was locked up tight. He was on his knees and his head was almost touchin' the ground. He was folded ova' on hisself like he was gonna throw up. He wouldn't open his eyes and he was breathin' too hard. I barely heard myself callin' his name before Crutchie was outta my arms, droppin' down right next ta our friend. I stood up, not ready ta face him. How could I, after what I's've done?
I watched him flinch and try to shake Crutchie off.
"Johnny...?"
I heard the fear in his voice back from the first day I met him. I watched him cower away from the man that had barged in while I was tryin' ta get him out. Oh, what have I done?
While Crutchie tried ta calm Race down, I couldn't move. I just watched tears run down both their faces. Man, Race was a wreck. He was shakin' and his face was soaked with tears. He couldn't get a full word out. Jeez, this was all my fault.
"Ah, Mr. Higgins..." Snyda' smirked at us. I neva' wanted ta hurt anyone more. That man was ready ta throw my boys back ta the streets. They was both hurt bad. I could tell. Crutchie had bruises all ova' him. And Race couldn't even pick hisself up off the floor. "I believe you know Mr. Kelly."
When Race looked up at me, I felt my heart breakin' inta a million pieces. He screamed because he moved too fast. It was loud and broken and Crutchie couldn't do nothin' ta stop the kid from movin'. His eyes were two different sizes. He had so many cuts and bruises on him.
"He'll be taking your place." The kid was terrified. He started shoutin' at me. It sounded like he was havin' trouble speakin'.
"N-...n-no... Ja... Jack..." the next words he spoke couldn't've been English. They were slurred and broken. What did they do ta this kid? But then he screamed somethin' all in one breath. "You don't need me, Jack!" Those words cut like a knife. They made me feel sick and I could feel the tears fallin' from my eyes. "Let C-Crutchie go! I-I'll stay...! Don't make 'em stay for me!" I barely understood him. The kid was tryin' ta get ta me but Crutchie held him down. He was hurt. He shouldn't be movin' 'round like that. "It's my fault... è colpa mia..." Kid was delirious. Only spoke in that language when we all knew he wouldn't even rememba' doin' it lata'. Brought back too many memories.
All I could do when he started speakin' his Italian was drop down in front a' him. I was happy when no one stopped me. And I brushed my fingas up against my friend's face while Crutchie held him up against his chest. The way he was lookin' at me... it was so familia'...
"I didn't mean it, Racer." He sobbed and leaned inta my hand. "I's didn't mean none of it and I'm sorry fer puttin' ya through that." Put him through the hell he'd already lived through. Dear God, what the hell was I thinkin'?
Crutchie reached out fer my hand. I grabbed it and held onta it tight. I held Race up at the same time. "J...Ja-ack... don't... d-don't do this..." Poor kid. He needed outta here. Both of 'em needed outta here. Race couldn't even keep his eyes open.
I looked back to Crutchie. My best friend was sobbing. His whole body was shakin'. "Get back home." I picked up both our hands and wiped a tear off his face. I hated seein' him cry. Kid was too tough for that. "Make sure he don't do nothin' stupid." I looked back ova' at Race. He tried to rip his hands outta the metal cuffs he had on. He could barely move. I shook my head at him. I didn't want him ta hurt hisself more.
"Jack... he can't stand alone. He can barely move. What's wrong with him?" I held Crutchie close when he asked that and we both looked ova' at our friend. His eyes wouldn't stay open, but he was lookin' straight at us. I still held his face in my hand. He would be on the ground without it.
"Ya gotta get him ta Medda when ya can. She'll know what ta do." Crutchie nodded inta my chest.
When Snyder cleared his throat behind us, Crutchie pulled away. And I's sighed, turnin' back ta Race. "Take care of 'em, Race." The kid sobbed onta me. He collapsed inta my chest. I kissed him on the head. Then I did the same ta Crutchie before I stood up and let the guard in the room cuff me.
Crutchie was a mess. He was sobbin'. And Race wasn't much betta'. "N-no..." The kid was slurrin' his words tagetha'. I couldn't stop the guards from closin' in on my brothas. "Jack... don't do th-this..." And then when Race was grabbed off the floor and both my boys were bein' dragged away, Racer started ta panic and his words were more forced when he screamed. "No! Stop! I'll stay!" He fought so hard and Crutchie tried ta reach ova' ta calm him down but the guard held him still. "Please! I'll stay. I'll stay! Rimarrò, rimarrò..."
"Don't worry, Mr. Higgins. You'll see Jack again in three months." Three months. I felt myself grow more and more worried. Three months of the boys on their own. I couldn't protect them from in here. Three months.
I watched them drag my brothas away. I couldn't stop 'em from pushin' them and throwin' 'em around. And then Snyda ordered them ta take me back ta the rooms. I was thrown in with a mop and a bucket.
"Your friend puked all ova' the place. Clean it up." Then the door was slammed and I's was locked in. I could feel myself startin' ta get nervous. I didn't like bein' locked in. But it was worse when they's would take me out and back ta Snyda'. I hated him.
"You don't deserve anything!"
"What's wrong, Kelly? Can't protect yourself?"
"You're weak, Boy!"
I wasn't! I ain't weak. I hated him. And the stunt he pulled taday would neva' leave my stupid head.
I looked around at the otha' boys. They was starin' at me. I didn't care. I just started ta do what I was told. If I didn't, Snyda' would bring 'em back. I'm young. I ain't stupid. He would do it. So's I started ta clean up Race's vomit. Damn it, I got him inta this. I couldn't stop the tears from streamin' down my face while I started moppin' up the floors. I couldn't stop the memories that passed through my head. The memories of the day I became friends with a new boy. A boy who had neva' had a friend in his life.
I rememba teachin' him how ta speak English. How ta sell. I taught him how ta find short cuts ta dodge the bulls and how ta get ta Brooklyn if he needed to. Me and Spot had an... arrangement of sorts afta' the night I rescued Race. I may have made people believe he was the toughest kid in New York. And Spottie had taken a likin' ta my friend. They was always playin' poka' tagetha'. But that's a story fer anotha' time.
I loved the kid. And he told me his story once. His pop got inta debt with one a' the gangs 'round town. They took the kid as payment. The old man didn't even try ta stop 'em. They's said they's would let him go when they got all their money back. But they didn't. Race was with 'em fer years 'fore I found him. They watched him wheneva' he went outside. Made damn well sure he couldn't make a run fer it.
I shook my head. I hated it. Hated that I couldn't get back ta him, 'pologize fer bein' so damn stupid. But I couldn't.
Ova' the next few days, the boys treated me like a maid. The guards let 'em. I didn't matta' ta them. One time, I yelled at 'em. I was tired. Hadn't slept in days. All I could see when I closed my eyes was Race's face. He was terrified. And Crutchie. So angry and disappointed.
I is an idiot.
They dragged me ta Snyda's office. I kicked and punched and tried ta get away but I couldn't. Snyder soaked me good.
"Stop screamin' ya little bastard!"
I shuddered, draggin' myself back ta my spot. That was just anotha' sentence that I would live with foreva'.
I always slept unda' the window. Made me feel safa'. I wasn't sittin' fer two minutes before I heard it. Tappin' on the window. It was loud and fast and I knew who it was.
Racer. Stupid kid. What the hell did he think he was doin'? "What the hell are ya doin' here, Racetrack?" He looked terrible. Like he'd been asleep fer days. Poor kid. His hair was a mess and his face was bruised up. He looked like he was havin' trouble holdin' hisself up. "You's gonna get caught. Again." I knew my voice was harsh. But I couldn't let it happen. Afta' the kid was in here last time... I just couldn't do it again.
In all the years I's've known Race, he only liked ta talk more and more. When I first met him, he didn't speak English too good, but he still liked ta talk. Always had somethin' ta say. But he didn't say a word. He just put his hand through the bars.
I shouldn'ta taken it. I didn't deserve it. I looked at his hand then up at his eyes. This boy... this kid and I had been through so much tagetha'. I took him unda' my wing so long ago and then he grew up. He did the same thing few so many otha' kids now. And we did it tagetha' too. And we's had saved each othas butts too many times ta count. We had always been there fer each otha'. And I still did that to him. I didn't deserve his fergiveness. But I remembad everything Snyda' had eva' said ta me.
"Bastard!"
"Street rat."
"Weak."
"Stupid!"
"Alone! No one's coming for you!"
I grabbed his hand. I needed him. I needed him so bad. My brotha'. I felt my breaths startin' ta get caught. I tried ta stop it. But I couldn't. I lost it. I held onta his hand so tight. "I's so sorry, Race..." My friend still didn't say nothin'. But he leaned his forehead up 'gainst the bars. It musta been freezin'. But I didn't care. I did it too. Our heads touched and for the first time in days it felt like I's could breathe. I felt like everythin' was okay. "I'm so so sorry, kid." I kept on sayin' it. I couldn't stop. "I need ya, ya know that?" I heard him sniffle and his breath was startin' ta shake. He was cryin' too. "You're my brotha'."
We musta sat there fer hours. Race was sobbin' and I wasn't much betta'. I needed out. When the kid left, I could tell he didn't want to. But Crutchie would be waitin' for him. No doubt about it. So's he had ta go. Couldn't keep our little brotha waitin' like that. Then he left. And I cried harda'.
Snyda' gave me anotha' beatin' that day. I didn't wake up fast enough. But wouldn't eva' tell Race that.
"Keep on screaming, you pathetic rat!"
I sat under the window. I know I shouldn't've been hopin'. But as I sat there prayin' for the train ta come and take me out West I found myself also wishin' fer my friend ta come back.
And then when the tappin' started I think I actually smiled. When I stood up, I saw two faces this time. "Crutchie!"
The kid was already cryin'. He was leanin' on Race. There was no way he made it up with his crutch. Race probably had ta carry him. "What are you two doin' here?"
I barely finished speakin' before Crutchie grabbed fer my hand and held it tight. "J-Jack..." It broke my heart that my brotha' was so scared. Race was rubbin' his back. "I'm sorry, Jack..."
"Shshshsh kid, I'm okay." It was only half true. Only because my two brothas were there. I took his hand and reached through the bars ta wipe away his tears. He didn't need 'em. "Calm down, Crutch. I is okay."
"Sorry, Jackie." I looked ova' ta see Race. He looked exhausted. Crutchie too, but it was different, like he put up a long fight. "He wouldn't let me go without him." I shook my head smiled at them both before lookin' around. It was the middle of the night. Snyda' wouldn't be around fer a while.
"It's okay, Racer." I reached through the bars and cupped his cheek. He leaned into it. Everythin' was okay. "It's okay."
They kept comin' back. Every night fer three days. Good thing too. I don't know what I woulda done if they didn't come back and make jokes with me and... hold my hand. And when they's left, I missed 'em. I missed 'em so much. I didn't deserve my boys. God, I just didn't deserve their forgiveness. But they gave it ta me anyways.
The next few days were hell. I rememba' gettin' beat by a few a' the otha' boys, but I didn't go down without a fight. There was neva' a winner. Always just two boys layin' on the ground covered in blood and bruises. And I couldn't take much more a' Snyda's visits eitha'. He always told me how pathetic I was. How my boys didn't really care 'bout me. Shows how much he knew. But he'd make me say stupid things. Like he was right. Even when I knew he wasn't. But I got myself inta this. If I hadn't been so cruel ta Race, he wouldn't a' been taken.
I rememba' the day I escaped real good. It was Thursday. I wasn't soaked too bad that day. Some a' the otha' boys was pickin' fights but I kept ta myself. The governa' came that day.
It was fate. It had ta be. He came up ta me. Ta me. He asked me why I was here. What I did ta get sentenced ta the Refuge. So's I told him, "They's was gonna hurt my brothas. I told Snyda' they could take me instead."
He said he was a governa'. He said he couldn't break the law. But then he said if a kid snuck inta the back a' his carriage while he wasn't lookin', well who could stop him. So while he got his mug in the papes I got my butt in the back seat and off we rode tagetha'. Back ta the house. Back ta my brothas.
When we passed the house, I jumped out. The gov waved a hand at me. I smiled at him before I was runnin' inside.
I shoved the door open ta the Lodgin' House. I don't care if it slammed er not. My boys was playin' cards at the table, just like always. But everyone stopped when I walked in. "Jack!" Crutchie was the first one up. He was practically runnin' with his crutch till he fell inta me. I caught him. Well, almost. He brought us down ta the floor, but I didn't care. I held onta the kid that I grew up with. The boy that I'd gone through thick and thin with. And he cried onta me while I looked up ta see Race. The kid was sittin' in his chair and I smiled at him. Before I knew it, he was runnin' ova' ta me. Poor kid got his foot caught on the chair, knockin' it ova', and he fell to the ground before he could make it ta me. But I just scooted me and my gimp friend ova' ta him and scooped him up.
"Hiya boys." I don't know if I's was cryin' or not. But I didn't care. I rememba' it bein' cold. I rememba' the beatin's catchin' up with me. I felt Race hold onta me tighta'. He could feel me shakin'. I knows he could. All's I could do was hold onta my brothas tighta'.
"H-how'd ya get out?" Oh, Crutch. I ran my hand through his hair. He was sobbin' so hard. My boys, they knew I was hurt. But it didn't matta'.
I knew they wouldn't believe me. But I told 'em anyways. "I rode out on the governor's carriage." Race's face was priceless. He was accusin' me a' lyin' with one look.
I felt otha' boys wrappin' their arms around me, but I wasn't done yet. "I ain't kiddin'!" They's still didn't believe it. So's I grabbed Race's wrist and wiped away his tears before I helped Crutchie grab his crutch. Then I dragged 'em outside. I could still see the carriage.
Crutchie's mouth was hangin' open and Race laughed. I put my arms around their shoulders and tried ta hang on 'em without lettin' 'em know how beat I was. "You escaped jail on the back of Teddy Roosevelt's carriage?" I laughed at my brotha's expression. The kid was somethin' else.
I heard some of the otha's askin' me how, but I glanced at Race. He just laughed and shook his head at me. I gave him a kiss on the head and watched the carriage keep ridin' off. I was sure this would make the papes the next day, no doubt about it. But I didn't care. All I cared about was bein' back with my brothas that I didn't deserve.
It was lata' when Crutchie came ova' ta me. I was layin' there with my eyes closed. I missed my own bed. It had only been a week, but sleepin' on a bed was somethin' I dreamed of in the Refuge. There wasn't no way I could make it ta the roof, and it was too cold anyhow, so I was gonna sleep inside that night with the boys. Well, almost sleep. Afta' the Refuge, sleep neva' came easy. 'Specially afta' I know it coulda been my brothas if it wasn't me.
"Can I... could I sleep with ya, Jack?" He didn't want ta sound like such a baby. But I didn't mind. I just scooted ova' and let him lay down next ta me. Or on top a' me. And he was asleep so quick. I smiled and kissed him on the head and then closed my eyes.
Only, a few minutes lata', I could feel someone starin' at me. I knew who it was. I opened up my eyes ta see Race standin' at the edge a' my bunk. He was lookin' down at the ground and I knew he felt guilty fer my stay at the Refuge. But it wasn't his fault. It was mine. So I waved him ova' and he sat down next ta me. He looked so sad. I ran a hand through his hair. He had a few tears strollin' down his face. "Ya know I woulda neva' said those things ta ya if I's was thinkin' straight, right?" The tears worked fasta' afta' that. But he nodded.
"I'm sorry, Jack..." Oh I don't know how I coulda eva' did what I did ta this poor kid. I pulled him down inta me.
"I love ya, little brotha'." I wished for that ta make it all okay. But I would neva' forget that day when I had treated my brotha' like my worst enemy. I swore ta myself it would neva' happen again. Race cried inta my shirt. I let him. I rubbed his back. I looked down at 'em. My boys. The two kids who had got me through the hard times in my life. I loved 'em more than anythin' in the world. And I realized somethin'. Somethin' that I hadn't realized before. Santa Fe could wait. My brotha's were here now and we still needed each otha'... yeah...
Santa Fe can wait.
Oh that was fun. Maybe a little bit too fun. Anyways, I know some of you may be a little confused about Race's backstory. Here's the thing, originally I had Jack flashing back a lot to the night he rescued Race. It was a pretty awesome scene, however as I wrote it and reread it, I realized it made the plot seem long and way too drawn out. I have the entire thing almost completely written. But I didn't like it in the chapter. It didn't really fit like I wanted it to. If you guys would like to see the backstory, let me know, if you don't care, you can just ignore it. It still makes sense without it.
Thank you so much bexlynne for letting me bug you with this story! You really help me a lot! Thank you so much! Thank you BroadwayIsMyPurposeInLife for begging me to update. It honestly brings a smile to my face that you want to see more of it so bad. Thank you!
Before I forget, thank you FuriedNight for this request! You are amazing and I can't wait to write more of your ideas! They're amazing! I couldn't of come up with this without you!
Guys! Go check out my friend bexlynne's stories! They're so cute and amazing! I love them! You guys have been asking me for a break from the intensity and you can get some fluff over there! Make sure to go leave some reviews!
As always, thanks for reading! Make sure to tell me what you liked, what you didn't, what you'd change or what you'd improve by leaving me a review! Love ya, kids!
