Explosions Are Friends, Well Naruto Uzumaki Thinks So
"I'm speaking"- Speech
"Demon's speaking, justu names"
"I'm thinking"- thinking
"I'm a thinking demon, i'm thinking my justu"- Demon thoughts and justu's being thought of.
By the way, I am British, so I am using the British spellings.
Chapter 1: Ahem... Don't Know Where He Learned That
Previously On Explosions Are Friends:
Ah! Welcome back, I knew you would return, now as you may or may not know Naruto Uzumaki is the jinchuriki of the nine-tailed demon fox lord... or Kyuubi for short and has been living on Mother-Nature's Earth for five years, he likes few things, that real old guy in the Hokage office, the colour's black and orange and ramen, we mustn't forget ramen, and I believe he likes something else although I can't seem to recall what th-BOOOOOOOOM! Oh right, now I remember what that last part was, anyway let us carry on with the story as I pass this onto Naruto Uzumaki.
THIS IS A LINE
2 Years... It has been two years since that fateful night young Naruto constructed that exploding tag and things haven't been the same since, not for Naruto and not for anyone who lived in the Hidden-Leaf-Village. Since that night Naruto has been repeating that "simple" construction for two years and has quickly constructed over hundreds of exploding tags, each one progressively more booming than the rest.
As for that first exploding tag Naruto made? Well let's just say Naruto has been forever banned from Mr. Hanniki's relaxation parlour for "accidentally" setting said tag off on Mr. Hanniki's back. Thankfully, since it was an exploding tag created by a five year old it really didn't have any kick in besides a slight annoyance and the back portion of his clothes missing.
Anyway, Naruto's exploding tag's these day's weren't exactly much better than that one, I mean they were better than the one before it, just not by much and Naruto's latest tag could probably only crack an Anbu's mask slightly... those masks are hard as FU*K. Anyway, we find Naruto currently running from a member of Anbu, why that Anbu is chasing Naruto I hear you ask... how am I supposed to know, let's take a closer look and find out.
THIS IS A LINE
"Naruto you little twit, you really gone and done it this time" screamed a cat-masked anbu as he shook his left fist threateningly... well as threateningly as a anbu currently chasing after a seven year old with his anbu outfit painted pink with yellow flowers detailing it could be... not really threatening at all really.
Now how did that anbu's outfit end up like that, well it was a complex and tricky little plan set up by none other than young Naruto himself.
FLASHBACK BULL-JUSTU/ LIKE 10 MINUTES AGO
Naruto held some pink paint and a brush as he stood in the anbu's "secret" locker room... "I could get into a lot of trouble for being in here" Naruto mused to himself and then grinned like a Cheshire cat.
"Let's go wild" and somehow, all of the anbu's outfit's located in that locker room, mysteriously became pink... I wonder how.
FLASHBACK BULL-JUSTU KAI!
Now even Naruto couldn't fathom on how he stumbled upon the Anbu's secret locker room, because he in-fact did stumble, just like how he "accidentally" stumbled into a paint show, and he "accidentally" stumbled out with some paint.
Ah! It was one of life's little mysteries.
Anyway, back to the chase, you see Naruto wasn't really looking to get caught on this fine summer's day, so he pulled a magic trick out off his back pocket... and explosive magic trick. Quick as a flash, he turned around mid-run and flung said tag onto the ground.
The trained anbu, seeing said tag immediately halted their chase in worry of the tag, until suddenly is exploded into smoke, hiding Naruto from their vision whilst also masking Naruto's scent, the anbu stood there stunned to their core.
"Since when could Nauto craft smoke-bomb and that's another point, how does Naruto even know what a smoke-bomb is"? the cat masked anbu asked himself in confusion before finally shrugging his shoulders and jumped up onto a roof, returning back to HQ, not before reaching his hand into his kunai/shuriken pouchand heard a SSssss... "Oh fuck m"-boom, one ass-less anbu reporting for duty eh?
THIS IS A LINE
From the hidden location Naruto found himself in he could easily see and hear that poor anbu have his ass explode and Naruto himself couldn't care less, it's all fair in love and war. Naruto stood in that hidden location for a few more minutes, making sure there were no other anbu's waiting for him, after confirming that in fact the only anbu waiting, was the one with the hole in his pants and hole in his pride and dignity.
Naruto shook his head in amusement "wow, I can't believe that actually worked, I mean c'mon, he is an anbu, the elite of the elite and little ol' me managed to blow his bum up... YATTA" as Naruto thought, his body went on autopilot, straight to the Hokage's tower.
AN:(PLEASE NOTE THAT NARUTO IS ONLY SEVEN YEARS OF AGE AND THEREFORE DOES NOT KNOW SWEARS... yet)
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"Ah, smoke-bomb's how I love you, lucky I decided to have a mess about when drawing my usual exploding tag's or I wouldn't have ever found out that special kanji, now only if I could find a way for my explosive tag's to make an even bigger bo- oh! Were already at Jiji's place" It was good being Naruto, such little cares about actual life and more worry about bomb's... typical Naruto.
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The Third Hokage also known as the Professor, also known as the head Sarutobi, also known as... forget it, I'm sure you get the idea of who he was. Right now the Hokage was dealing with a massive problem to him and his village... paperwork, it's not that the kind-old man hated paperwork, he just didn't want anything to do with it, he didn't want to be in the same room as it, yet here he was, sitting in a room doing paperwork... yea a good Katon! Goukakyuu no Jutsu! (Fireball justu) would sort this paperwork problem right out but alas, setting fire to important documents could cause backlash... who knew.
"I wish, something would happen, so I didn't have to do this bloody paperwork, fuck you Minato, you knew sealing the Kyuubi and dying would get you out of paperwork, fuck you Minato, fuck you" while the supposed kind old man cussed his successors name straight to the pit's of hell, little Naruto opened the door and walked into the room, startling the Hokage back into the real world.
Naruto grinned up to his grandfather figure and mulled over in his mind on how to ask something, In the end, Naruto decided to forget all tact and blurt out "Jiji, my bomb's aren't making big enough boom's, I want them to make bigger boom's, how do I make them boom bigger"? The Hokage had to give a minute to process what Naruto just said and filter out the actual question out of the ramblings of a seven year old, once he figured out what Naruto had asked, the old man chuckled "Naruto my boy, you already know how to make exploding tag's at age seven I might add and now you wish to know how to make said explosive tag's make bigger explosions" Sarutobi's half question/statement was spoken in a disbelieving and rhetorical way.
Now, Naruto only being seven couldn't tell that the Hokage was being rhetorical, so he simply replied "well duh... and I also can make smoke-bomb seals" Poor Hokage almost fell out of his seat "I'm sorry Naruto I must have misheard you, did you say you made smoke-bomb seals"? Naruto nodded enthusiastically "yea, yea I just used one on cat-san".
The professor sighed "Naruto, I would really appreciate if you didn't go around causing trouble for my anbu". Although Naruto didn't know what appreciate meant he got the gist of what the old man was saying and nodded in acceptance. The Hokage nodded "good, now when did you manage to craft one of these so called smoke-bomb seals"?
"Last night, I was making a boom tag and wasn't really paying attention and when I was finished the tag looked wrong, so I threw it away and then smoke suddenly appeared it was really cool".
The old man chuckled "Naruto, let me tell you something... there is no such thing as smoke-bomb seals, ninja's only use actual smoke bombs, now if what you are implying is true then that means you have just invented a new ninja tool". You could literality see the happiness and shock sprout from Naruto's face.
Now Naruto has never been known for hiding enjoyment and smugness, so it came to no surprise that little Naruto was now running around the Hokage's office screaming his little head off in happiness "I made a new a ninja tool, can you believe it jiji, I actually invented something no one else ever has".
The Hokage has yet to mention that being able to make exploding seal's without even knowing how to pronounce Funijutsu is a masterful accomplishment, no need to increase Naruto's ego now is there?
Anyway, Sarutobi was getting rather annoyed from seeing Naruto swing from the chandelier hanging in the middle of his office and ordered Naruto to get down from there. Naruto complied and released his grasp and plummeted down onto the hard unforgiving floorboards.
"Owwwwwww" mumbled Naruto as he rubbed his bruised nose. Sarutobi could do nothing but shake his head at the young boy's antics.
After Naruto removed the pain, he jumped in the air and shouted " JIJI, HELP ME MAKE BIGGER BOOMS". The Hokage mulled over this in his head quite thoroughly before gaining a pensive look "Naruto, If I were to help you created bigger explosions, what would you try to accomplish with said explosions"?
That single simple question stumped little Naruto so much that he actually had to sit on the floor, crossed-legged and think on it "What would I actually do with better exploding tag's, what could I do?... I could take revenge on all those mean people who hurt me... I could pull some awesome pranks... no I don't want to cause harm to anyone in the village even if they deserve it, I want to protect everyone who is precious to me, Ayame-chan, Techu-san, jiji and anyone else I make friends with, I want to protect them all... no matter the cost" Naruto opened his eyes and gazed up into the Hokage's eyes not once losing his foxy grin "Jiji, I know what I would do with that help" Sarutobi tilted his head as in a way for Naruto to continue "I- I would use that help to protect all my precious people, NO MATTER THE COST" as Naruto pumped his fist into the air as if saying to Kami itself that it could do nothing to change his ideals.
To say the Hokage was shocked would have been a massive understatement because he was not shocked, he was floored. This child had actually found it, Naruto Uzumaki had found his WILL OF FIRE all by himself with just a simple question.
THIS IS A LINE
Laughter ran throughout the Hokage building as Naruto clutched the scroll containing even more information on how to improve exploding tag's and even some secret seal's courtesy of that crafty old man the Hokage. "Now Naruto I don't want to hear from anyone how you have been abusing this gift I have given you, do you understand"? Naruto quickly stood still, scroll tucked under his right and nodded, a grim expression planted upon his face.
"Understood Jiji... can I go now"? Sarutobi could see that Naruto was starting to become anxious so he nodded and gestured to the door with his right arm. "Fuck yea" stated Naruto with a grin, causing the Professor's eyebrows to shoot of his head "NARUTO UZUMAKI, GET BACK RIGHT NOW" It was as if Naruto used Hirashin-no-jutsu he was in the middle of the office quicker than the old man could finish shouting.
"Naruto where did you learn that disgusting language"? Demanded the aged man with a frown on his face, now Naruto had no idea what was wrong, he didn't know what the word meant, he just heard it once from an anbu wearing a dog-mask or "dog-san" as Naruto graciously calls him "err I-I le-learned it from D-Dog-san" you could literally see the Hokage's eyes go red with rage.
"Dog, in my office yesterday" safe to say that dog appeared pretty quickly "mah, mah what seems to be the problem Hokage-sama" Dog asked as he nervously scratched his silver spiky hair. "Dog, were you swearing in front of Naruto"?
"Eh? Naruto-kun did you grass on me"? Asked Dog rather too innocently "Oh fuck, err c'mon Naruto think fast... I GOT IT".
"Look behind you Dog-san" Naruto said, using his best "I'm scared" look, surprisingly Dog looked and saw nothing but a shelf with some books on it and turned around to Naruto only to find smoke where Naruto once stood.
Dog was sweating rather heavily under his mask now "Ahem... Don't know where he learned that".
"Kakashi-san, I think we need to have a word" Sarutobi stated as the now revealed Kakashi slumped down onto the ground in fear of the old man's rage.
That night, anyone who was still awake would hear a grown man scream rather too high-pitched in fear.
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That night Naruto sat in his own apartment given to him by the top-dog himself and opened that scroll, and let his eyes wonder all over the paper and couldn't help but grin.
"YES PICTURES, I CAN ACTUALLY USE THIS"
Because Naruto still couldn't read kanji to save his life.
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Cut, that's a wrap, put it in the can and give it to all the cinema's... what? You can't watched text?... well FUCK YOU MAN.
Ahem anyway that was chapter 2, I would just like to thank everyone who reviewed chapter one by listing their names:
Iron Reprieve
mecrazyfang
Camn
Thank you so much for reviewing and hopefully that chapter's length will make up for the disgustingly short prologue.
This is IEvolution360I B.I.T.C.H.E.S
signing off... CYA.
