Author's Note: Okay so continuing on it is. Hope you guys enjoy.


"All set?" Callen asked as he and Sam walked into the boat shed where Kensi had finished getting ready.

All set? Hardly. The memory from Deeks' face was still ingrained in her mind, but Kensi knew it was her job. Hell, so did Deeks. She had to do it. It didn't mean she had to like it. Not right now. Not after everything that had happened between the pair. Now, the thought of some man, some other man, having his hands all over her made her skin crawl. She felt as though she was going into a situation blind. Although very on guard, she would not be entirely in control.

Kensi hated not being in control.

She inwardly groaned as she realised she might be in over her head here.

And not just in relation to the mission.

"Kensi?" Sam prompted snapping her out of her thoughts.

"Oh yeah sorry I just – good to go?" She asked after tousling her hair, closing up her compact mirror and slipping into her purse.

"Yep. Eric's got everything set up," Callen replied handing her her earpiece. "Once we're there, you've just got to work your magic and we should be wrapped up in no time,"

"Right. I don't plan on being too long," she replied with a smirk covering her earpiece with her hair.

"Looking like that, I'd be surprised if you can get the guy to string a sentence together," Sam joked shaking his head.

"Yeah, Hetty certainly loves to play dress-up," Kensi sighed going through her purse once more.

To say she looked good, simply wasn't possible. Kensi Blye doesn't merely look good when wearing the type of outfit she had on. Or ever.

The black dress she had on clung to her curves displaying her toned physique just the right way. Dipping dangerously low in front, and allowing her back to be completely exposed, any man would be willing to sell his soul let alone illegal intel just for her to acknowledge their presence. Her legs seemed never-ending and invitingly touchable due to the dress length that could be considered more dangerous than playful. Combining the dress, the legs, the striking five inch red heels with her wavy hair and smoky eye make-up, she was stunning.

She was drop dead, knock out -

"Beautiful,"

All heads snapped towards the voice as Deeks appeared in the doorway.

"You look beautiful," he murmured quietly.

Eyes fixed on only her, not her body, not her legs, but her, Kensi felt as though the wind had been knocked out of her with his intensity. So much blue shining back at her, so much truth.

So much pain.

She hated having to do this. Had she mentioned that before?

Her eyelids fluttered closed momentarily before she briefly looked down, then back to her partner.

"Thank you," she replied earnestly biting her bottom lip, her eyes never leaving his.

Deeks offered her a small smile as he stood there, silently refusing to approach her. Not like this.

Not when she wasn't his.

God she hated this.

As though sensing his reluctance Kensi offered him one last reassuring smile as she finished going through her mental check list.

"Um. Okay so," Callen said lightly feeling as an outsider witnessing the exchange between the pair. "We'll drop you to the corner of the block, then you make your way to the club. We'll then circle and find somewhere to stay, but we'll always be close, okay?"

"Yep. Sure. That's fine," she stated automatically as she released a breath.

"Chances are you're going to have a lot of distractions coming your way," Sam smirked before growing serious. "Be smart in there, Kensi,".

"Always am," she smiled appreciatively for his concern.

"You've also got...protection right?" Callen asked cautiously.

Kensi huffed out a laugh rolling her eyes. "Of course. Locked and loaded. Got a knife in the lining of my purse too," she opened up to show him. "If security ask I'll just say the purse has -"

"No, no I know you've got weapons. I just..." Called paused before continuing cautiously. "I mean, protection. In case it gets that far...with the mark," he finished slowly.

Oh.

Right.

Kensi closed her eyes briefly releasing the tension building up inside of her.

She really hadn't planned that far. She had convinced herself it wouldn't get that far, that she'd get the information even before they left the club.

Pushing away all her worry, her panic, her guilt; everything she was feeling with regards to one of the three men in the room, she fought to keep her face emotionless. She couldn't crumble. The words "Kensi Blye" and "weak" never appeared in the same sentence, so she was going to fight to keep it that way.

"Yeah – I do," she answered flatly.

Opening her eyes, she kept her stare on Callen. She couldn't look at Deeks. Not after him hearing that. Without even looking though, she could tell, she could feel. The jealousy, the hurt, the worry.

The pain.

Callen continued talking with Sam briefly jumping in here and there, probably reassuring her it wouldn't be necessary, but Kensi wasn't listening. Her eyes were glazed over, fighting to stay strong, to keep Deeks' out of her view.

But she couldn't.

She couldn't. She couldn't not look at him. She needed to just give him once last reassuring smile. Let him know that she intended to keep her promise -

I won't let it get that far.

She needed to see the trust in his eyes, if not for his sake but for hers.

She slowly averted her eyes to the doorway as Sam and Callen continued to talk. More so to possibly cover up the undeniable tension in the room.

There Deeks was, brow furrowed, shoulders tensed and hands shoved into his pockets. His stare seemed fixated upon the ground, never faltering, never wavering.

She needed to talk to him. Just one last time before it all. Before she had to do things she didn't want to do.

Just as she was about to walk over to Deeks, Hetty entered with a smile mentioning something about Chanel and Louboutin.

Shaking her head to clear the constant words of I won't let it get that far, Kensi tried again. "I'm sorry, what did you say Hetty?"

"I said," Hetty began as she walked around Kensi giving her a once over, "this mark, Jackson Thomas, won't even see you coming dressed like that." Standing back once more with her arms folded, she addressed Kensi directly. "My dear, you look wonderful. Now let's get this guy," she added with a wink.

Nodding briefly with a small smile, Kensi collected her things and began to follow the rest of her team out only to stop abruptly at the doorway letting the others walk on.

She felt his presence. He wasn't following.

Pausing momentarily, she turned slowly and looked at him across the room.

"Deeks?" she asked hesitantly.

"Hmm? Oh yeah, coming. I'm coming," he answered in a daze.

As he started to make his way over to the exit , Kensi placed her hand across the door frame, cutting him off from leaving. He stopped, once again leaving a gap that was much too close to be considered professional between the pair. She could feel his warm chest against her arm, his heart beating fast and rhythmically. He raised his hand to hers resting on the door frame, watching as their fingers brushed.

Hesitating quietly, neither spoke. What was there to say? Be safe? I'll be there for you?

Don't do it?

It was all implied. But never spoken.

"I just -" Kensi cut herself off as she tried to regain her composure. The distraction of his thumb rubbing rhythmic patterns over hers was too much. He wasn't even aware of it. She needed him to stop.

She wanted it to go on forever.

"The things – that I'm going to have to say -"

"I know," he cut her off softly breathing in her faint jasmine perfume.

She removed her hand from his now turning to face him, "Deeks the things I might have to do..."

His jaw clenched as he struggled with the raging battle going on inside of him. He couldn't talk. If he spoke now, he'd ruin it. Seeing his Kensi, his Wonder Woman, so unsteady in front of him? He knew he couldn't say anything. She needed to just get this over and done with.

The team were probably waiting for them, so he had to bury all the emotions that were currently flying like sparks of electricity through the air between them. Focus on the job at hand. That's what was most important.

"We should go," was all he managed with a broken voice as he stepped back from her.

Her eyes snapped to his quickly in an attempt to figure out his thoughts. That was it? No, good luck Fern or See you later Princess? She was standing in front of him, trying to tell him everything she was about to do meant nothing to her, only him, and he was shutting her down? Holding his gaze for now what seemed like an eternity, she too took a step back, running a hand through her hair in the process.

"Yeah, right. Okay," she responded with a small smile.

Nodding quickly, Deeks simply walked by her with his fists clenched at his sides. He forced himself to continue down the hall until she was out of sight before he leaned against the wall, squeezing his eyes as tight as he could. He felt like throwing up. How had he not noticed this? How had he let it get this far? Their thing.He hadn't realised it before, and now it was too late. Their encounter in the OSP earlier in the day showed him that apparently it was too late for her too. She would never do that in front of someone else, show vulnerability.

Not unless they meant something to her.


"You seem tense?" Thomas asked as they sat on his couch.

After seeing him in the club, talking to him for a while, Kensi had him eating out of the palm of her hand. Except now, now he didn't seem intent on talking any more.

"Oh? Well I don't know much about you," Kensi replied as his thumb brushed against her shoulder lightly. "Tell me Jackson, what to you do?" she asked leaning into his touch.

"What do I do? Oh, that's not so interesting. Just a businessman. No fun," he replied leaning in a little closer.

"Businessman? What type of businessman?" she asked he began to draw patterns on her leg with his other hand.

"Just importing and exporting. I get by," he replied as he leaned in and kissed the underside of her jaw. Kensi closed her eyes as she bit back her reaction to slap him off. Stay focused. Get the information. Get out.

"What type of importing and exporting?" she responded as she reluctantly placed her hand on the side of his face holding him close to her.

"You certainly ask a lot of questions," he replied pulling back to look at her cautiously.

Suspicion. This wasn't good. Ugh she was always so good at this, but tonight? Yeah, she knew why she was holding back. Burying those emotions deep down, Kensi took charge. She needed to finish this.

Turning slowly to look at Thomas, she sat up leaning into him, nose brushing his.

"Just want to know what I'm getting myself into here," she whispered as her left hand gently cupped his cheek.

"Understandable," he answered cryptically as he began to pull her over to him, "let's just say it's for security,"

Security? Hardly.

"How very secretive. So you're one of the good guys?" she asked following his lead moving closer.

"Not so much sweetheart," he smiled in response.

At this point Kensi was kneeling on the couch with a leg either side of Thomas as he held her leaning into her touch. He was slow to give her what she wanted, but she certainly knew what hewanted. She needed to hurry up before –

"I'm not going to lie, I've heard of you," she whispered into his ear leaning in.

He paused holding her back, caution growing in his features.

"Heard of me? How so?"

"Oh a friend of mine said you could help me import and export things that I might need," she said quoting back his previous line. "And I know, I would certainly make it worth your while if you would be so kind as to help a girl out," she said as her hands moved rhythmically over his chest.

"This friend have a name?"

"Mmm," she half shrugged toying with one of his buttons, "he chooses not to,"

Growing more wary, Thomas lifted Kensi off his lap and stood up.

"Who are you?" he questioned, all playfulness gone.

"What? What's wrong? I thought we were having fun?" she replied taking note of where she left her purse.

"Who are you? Do not make me ask again,"


"Callen I don't like the sound of this," Deeks said on the edge of his seat.

"Give her a minute, she might be able to swing it," Callen responded pressing his earpiece further into his hear.

"Who are you? Do not make me ask again,"

"Callen," Deeks said again.

"Deeks just giver her one min -"

At that moment gun shots sounded in each of their three earpieces, and before Sam or Callen could stop him, Deeks was out of the van running across the street.

"Shit! Deeks!" Callen hissed going after him followed by Sam.

"Knew this would happen," Sam stated in relation to Deeks as he crouched behind Thomas' car.

Deeks made his way stealthily up to Thomas' front door, to where he heard another shot ring out. Without waiting any further, he kicked open the door gun pointed high and trigger finger ready.

"LAPD! Don't move!" he yelled, then pausing at the sight.

Thomas lay on the ground clutching his shin as Kensi was sitting back on the couch holding her shoulder with blood seeping through her hands.

"Kens?" He asked immediately making his way over and kneeling down in front of her. "Kens talk to me, where'd you get hit?"

"Ah it's nothing -" she hissed as he removed her hand clutching her shoulder, "just a flesh wound," she murmured as her face began to pale slightly.

"Kens this doesn't look good. I don't care what you say we're going to -"

"Deeks!" she yelled only in time for Callen to shoot Thomas once more.

Turning around, Deeks saw a motionless Thomas lying in a pool of blood now coming from his chest, his gun loosely clutched in his hand.

"Kensi, you okay?" Sam asked now making his way over to the agent.

Looking from Callen to Deeks, Kensi paused as she got her thoughts in order. "Um yeah I – fine, it's fine. I mean I'm fine,"

"Think you're going to have to get that checked out so -"

"Sam I'm fine," she interrupted.

"Kensi. You're getting that looked at whether you like it or not so come on," he ordered as she stood swaying slightly.

"You're finding me a change of clothes. I'm not going anywhere dressed like this," she huffed as they passed Thomas' car.

As Deeks regained his composure of what just happened, he stood looking at Callen knowing what was coming.

"What the hell Deeks?" Callen demanded, "the first rule is always make sure the enemy is unarmed after a take down. What were you thinking ignoring him?" he challenged stepping closer.

Although Deeks knew Callen was right in what he was saying, he couldn't help but retaliate.

Never shoot back, always shoot first.

"What was I thinking?" he responded stepping closer to face Callen. "I was thinking my partner had been shot and I needed to make sure she was okay,"

"Partner? Are you sure that's all she is to you?"

"What?"

Callen huffed throwing his arms up in the air. "From the very beginning of the op, you were all over the place Deeks. You're too attached!"

Deeks scoffed taking a step back. "Attached? Seriously? You're damn right I'm attached, she's my partner! If it were you and Sam in the same position -"

"It has been me and Sam in the same position, more than once, and we've always cleared the scene first Deeks. Always! So don't tell me she's your partner. I'm not buying that crap,"

"This is ridiculous," Deeks huffed as he began to make his way towards the door.

"No Deeks, the fact that you can't control it is,"

"Control it? The way you did with that brunette wife of yours from a few years back?" Deeks challenged in return.

Callen bit back his words. Deeks knew he had gone to far but he couldn't stop it. Callen had no clue what he was talking about. He didn't understand Deeks and Kensi. Callen was just an outsider who pushed everyone who cared away. He revelled in the fact that he was a closed book.

After calming himself, Callen stepped closer keeping his voice steady.

"Go home Deeks. Sam and I will look after her. I think you need to get your priorities straight,"

Deeks opened his mouth to argue, but Callen immediately cut him off.

"No. There is no room for argument in this. She almost got shot a second time Deeks. Kensi could've been shot again, and you know what? That would have been on you. You also forced me to eliminate our best lead in this case. You made a rookie mistake. Go home and sort yourself out. I'm ordering you as a senior agent. Sam and I will make sure she's taken care of," he repeated noticing his words taking effect. "We'll talk to you tomorrow, do you hear me?" he asked holding a hand to Deeks' chest to get his attention.

Kensi could've been shot again, and you know what? That would have been on you.

He was right. Callen was completely right. Deeks could have gotten her killed if Thomas' shot. And now he had taken out a lead in their case which had taken quite some time to track down. Great Detective skills there.

"Deeks!" Called demanded once more trying to get his attention.

Looking up at Callen once more, Deeks nodded quickly before stepping back. "Let me know how she is," he stated quietly, "please," he added with a little desperation.

Callen nodded as Deeks walked out the door.

"Deeks!" Kensi called from behind the police cars that were now blocking off the scene. He walked over to the van giving Kensi a small smile as he passed.

"Deeks?" She called again confused as she brushed off a medic who was trying to check her shoulder. "What's wrong?" she asked following him as he removed his gun and vest leaving them in the back of the van.

Casting a glance over to where Callen was now talking to Sam, he looked back at Kensi seeing nothing but total concern in her eyes for him.

"How's your shoulder?" he deflected, putting on his jacket.

"It's fine," she answered distractedly, "where are you going?"

"I um – I've got to sort some things out. I'll call you,"

"Sort some things – Deeks what's going on?" she asked wincing as she tried to pull him back.

"Kens?" he responded immediately, holding her waist and dipping his head to see her.

"Dammit Deeks just answer the question. What's going on?"

Clenching his jaw, he removed his hand from her waist once more. Looking back, he could see Sam coming over. "I'll call you," he repeated as he turned, leaving Kensi to stand there in complete pain and confusion.

"We got this," Sam replied to Deeks' silent question as he approached, "go home. We'll see you tomorrow," he added as he continued making his way over to Kensi.

As Deeks began to walk away, he could hear Kensi asking Sam about Deeks, why was he leaving, and to stop bullshitting me and tell me the truth. He smiled briefly at that one.

Deciding to walk the whole way home, Deeks kept replaying what Callen had said to him.

Kensi could've been shot again, and you know what? That would have been on you.

It was a mantra in his head. She could have left with more than a flesh wound. She could have left in a body bag. Deeks' body went cold at that thought. Callen was right in sending him home. He was right in saying he was too attached. He was right in saying Deeks needed to sort himself out.

Only problem was, Deeks couldn't do that. Sort himself out. He couldn't get over her. He had never said the words not to himself, and not to anyone else, but he knew it wasn't possible.

He was in too deep.


A/N: Took me longer than usual, and I had to spilt it into 2 chapters, so the next one is the final one if I manage to do it right. Really love to hear what you guys think of it, good, bad or indifferent. Thanks.