Diary of a Broken Heart

The crackling fire gave off the only light in the small room. She sat in front of it, watching the flames lick the sides of the chimney; a small lilac book lay open on her lap.

The last entry was from right after her and Harry had started going out. Everything had been so perfect; almost like it was meant to be. But after only one month of being together he decided to break up with her; claiming that she put an image on him and that was who she liked, rather than the real him.

Of course he was right, but she hadn't done it on purpose; she'd give anything to change that fiction-loving part of herself. There was a theory he had that if someone likes someone else a lot, but they don't realize that; it could actually work and be amazing. So he'd given her that chance. But he still didn't feel exactly right about her.

The next day they left school, but managed to remain friends by talking through letters. She thought she was ok. It didn't hurt when he was so far away. But then he'd come to stay at the Burrow the last couple of weeks before school. She was completely fine when Ron told her about it; he was only a friend to her now.

But then she saw him. Her hazel eyes met his crystal blue ones and all the walls she'd worked so hard to build up fell apart as if they'd never existed in the first place.

And it hurt…it hurt more than she ever thought it could. Her legs shook, her heart throbbed, her breath caught in her throat. It was almost unbearable.

She acted strangely for the rest of the day. Hermione asked her if she was trying to be "emo" (which she had to explain to the non-muggle) by hiding her face with her hair.

She joked around about it and made herself smile. They asked her if she was ok. Again she smiled and told them that she was fine.

Her mask was almost flawless, only showing when she would stare blankly at the ground.

The clock struck 11 in the background. She pulled herself out of her thoughts and began to write.

Dear Diary,

sigh I don't know what to do anymore. We broke up and now I don't know what to do, it hurts so much. I thought I'd be ok, I was sure I'd be ok.

But then I saw him; looked straight into his eyes and he was looking right back into mine and it felt like me heart was ripped open! I guess it's just another one of my weaknesses kicking in; being this sensitive and emotional and just doing what my heart wants rather than thinking about it first. That always seems to get me in trouble. Well, not trouble exactly, it just gets me hurt.

Anyways, I miss him. Not like that though. I miss who I told myself he was. I hate that I'm just a stupid dreamer. I can't live in reality for two seconds without screwing something up.

Know what? If things had gone according to my plan I wouldn't be feeling this way. If my friends hadn't been so eager to get me a boyfriend he wouldn't have known. He would've never known.

My plan was to just get to be friends with him, then later on if something happened it happened, and if it didn't then it didn't matter. And when it didn't, I'd still be good friends with him.

Now it's just awkward, and I hate it. It would be better if we could talk. I shouldn't have told them. If I hadn't told them, and gone on with my plan, I would simply be his friend right now, and in a whole lot less pain.

Hey, next time I fall for a guy, remind me not to tell them, ok? As much as I love them, I don't want anyone messing with my "love life" again. I was better off with a non-existent one. A relationship shouldn't start because someone hears a whisper that they should ask someone else out. That's not a good way to start things. It should start with friendship, and I know I'll regret writing this later, but if I could, I'd turn back time and be friends with him from the beginning instead of this.

The clock says it's 11:11. I know you're not supposed to tell what you wish, but I wish that all the awkwardness would go away so I'd be able to just be friends with him. That's all I ask. And I wish that I could cast the spell of Amas Veritas and summon someone who doesn't exist so my dreaming won't be the end of me. Then I could just keep on dreaming for the rest of my life and it wouldn't be a problem! Well, it'd be one to me, but since no one else would be involved it'd be ok.

In the words of Gillian Owens, "Do you ever put your arms out and spin really, really fast?...Well, that's what love is like. It makes your heart race. It turns the world upside down. But if you're not careful, if you don't keep your eyes on something still, you can lose your balance. You can't see what's happening to the people around you. You can't see that you're about to fall." Well, that's about it for now. But one last quote.

"I dream of a love that even time will lie down and be still for." Sally Owens.

Love, Ginny

A single tear ran silently down her cheek as she shut the book and walked back to her bedroom.

Hey! Just a note on the above: I know Harry's eyes are emerald green. If it bugs you completely I'm sorry, but this one is very personal and I had to put that. Well, as always please review and tell me what you think. HazelEyedHottie