It has now been two months since that day and as I look at you across the room I realise just how hard the last few weeks must have been for you. There are new scars on your face and I can't prevent my mind from wondering how the rest of your body may have changed. Looking over you I can see, even from this distance, that your clothes are baggier than I have ever seen them before. You've lost weight and it scares me. If you have changed this much over a couple of months, how much will you have changed by the time this is done? Will you even live to see the end?

You sit there in silence, staring with a blank gaze at the table, and I see that it is not just your body that is being broken. Your mind is also slowly being destroyed. Your once cheery manner has gone and you no longer fill the awkward silences with a random question or interesting fact. Instead you just sit there, avoiding the gazes of the people surrounding you and ignoring me.

After what seems like an eternity Dumbledore enters and the room falls into silence. As his eyes search the room I notice that his gaze lingers on you and I wonder if he thinks he has made a mistake in sending you on this mission. I hope he does. I hate him for this - for sending you away to live among the kind you have tried so hard to rebel against and to what could very easily lead to your death.

He addresses us and then asks you for your report. As you speak I am shocked to find that your voice is quieter and you avoid making eye contact with anyone, even me. I see too that your hand is shaking slightly and I wonder if it is due to nerves or whether you are trying to repress another, deeper emotion. I notice that you do not stand as you once did to address the Order and this scares me as well. You have withdrawn so far into yourself that it is hard to find the Remus who I know in the broken shell that sits before me – the Remus who I love.

When you finish your report Dumbledore calls you aside and leads you to another room. I don't see you again that night but as I get ready for bed you are all that is on my mind and as I close my eyes I wonder if you are thinking of me as I am of you. I wonder if you dream about me, about us. And I wonder if you will ever realise that we need one another more than either one of us dare admit.