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Chapter Two – Fake Words and Dead Cows

"Hey Luke," Lorelai greeted as her husband entered the house.

"Hi," he replied, pulling a handful of coins from his pocket to throw into the plastic jars on the counter.

"That is so incredibly phycotic, you know that, don't you?" she said as he separated the coins into the different jars.

"It's what?" he asked, a strange look on his face.

"Phycotic," she said, as though it was obvious.

"That's not a word," he informed her.

"How do you know?"

"Because it isn't."

"Yes it is."

"Oh yeah, prove it. What does it mean?"

"It means…" she began. He raised an eyebrow, a small smile forming. "Its like OCD and ADD. Dangerous combination I might add. Hey, ADD spells add," she started laughing.

"You're phycotic," he muttered, walking into the kitchen. "Hi Fredlette," he glanced into the room that had once been Rory's to see the three year old girl lighting a Barbie doll's head on fire. "Winifred!" he exclaimed.

"She melting barbies again?" Lorelai called from the living room.

"And this is okay with you?"

"Hey, I told Liz she wasn't gonna like them," she replied.

"Oh jeez," he groaned, snatching the lighter from the girls hands, burning himself in the process.

"Hey!" she shouted, throwing a piece of fleshy plastic at him before slamming the door shut, with him on the other side.

"That settles it," he said, sticking the lighter in a cabinet where she wouldn't be able to reach it. "She's not allowed to hang out with Lori anymore."

-

"All closed up?" Rory asked when Jess entered the apartment above the Diner.

"Yep," he replied, separating coins into separate jars.

"You know that's completely phycotic, don't you?" she asked him, pouring a bag of popcorn into a large mixing bowl.

"That's not a word," he informed her.

"What makes you so sure?" she asked him, grabbing a bottle of hot sauce.

"Because its not."

"Oh yeah, real mature," she muttered.

"What does it mean then?" he asked.

"OCD. Or ADD. Usually both."

"Yeah, okay. Wait, how can it be both?" he asked opening the fridge and to pull out a hot pocket.

"Do you really want me to answer that? Pass me the whipped cream," she said.

"Sure." He slid the tub toward her, glancing to one side of the room. Then he made a strange face. "We have an extra kid," he said.

"No we don't," Rory replied. "Remember Doyle dropped James off this morning. They won't be picking her up until the day after tomorrow."

"I know. And mom dropped Dula off too."

"Right. So we should have five kids, Lori, Dula, James, Steve and Kwan."

"Then why do we have six?"

Rory looked over at the group of children, all sleeping in brightly colored sleeping bags (except Lori who had a bed).

"Oh jeez," she said. "Call Sookie, tell her she forgot Jonah again."

Jess picked up the phone and began dialing. He was only on the fourth digit with there came a loud beating on the door.

"Come in," Rory called, still making her food.

"Sorry sorry sorry," Sookie said, rushing towards the children to retrieve her youngest.

"It's okay Sookie," Rory said. "We were just about to call you."

"So sorry," she said again, rushing back out the door, son in tow.

"That is the most scattered people I know," Jess muttered, opening the microwave. "Hey, is that a diner burger?" he asked.

"Yep," she said, unwrapping the tin foil.

"So that's where Gypsy's order went."

"Yep," she said again, spooning a mound of something onto it.

"What is that?" he asked, making a face.

"This?" she held up a spoonful of it. He nodded. "Its my special sauce."

"What's in it?" he gagged.

"Popcorn, Tabasco sauce, whipped cream, marshmallows, relish, Italian dressing, chocolate syrup, and vanilla ice cream," she replied, piling three more scoops onto the dead cow.

"That's disgusting, even for you," he said, grabbing his food and heading into their bedroom. The apartment had been remodeled for the third time, allowing for some privacy.

"Its actually quite good, you should try it," she said, following him in, flipping the TV on as she passed.

"Pass," he said.

"Whatever," she shrugged as he began flipping through the channels.

"… And some licorice. And peanut butter. And relish. And a can of cherries. Put it all on a hot dog, would ya?" a womans voice on TV shouted as (presumably) her husband rushed out the door to find her these foods.

"Pregnant women are insane," Rory said, shaking her head. "I mean, seriously, who eats like that?"

She didn't notice the strange look he was giving her until moments later.

"What?" she asked, her mouth full with the strange meal she had concocted. "Wha…" she looked down at the burger in her hands (though, frankly, there was more toppings on it than there was burger).

"Oh my god," he said, sitting up.

"Oh my god," she echoed.


Shorter than intended, but you'll get over it.

Just so everyone know, I really don't know where this is going. I have a vague idea of what's going to happen in the next chapter (even the name : Tattletales and Expectant Mothers). Beyond that, nothing.

So Bob Barker (inside joke), you like how I introduced our word to the world? My goal is to have it in the dictionary by 2011.

Ella