This chapter deals with Henry and Mad's discussion of her revelation to Shawn.
It takes place during MURDER...ANYONE...? in the car in the auto shop, before Shawn comes in...just in case you don't get that.
Henry slowly ran his fingers over the steering wheel of the car, as if trying to absorb its very energy.
"I spent every day of my life here, Mad," he murmured, his eyes growing distant as the long-forgotten memories suddenly washed over him again.
He stared out the windshield, taking in the dark room around them. Surely, the auto shop had changed since Henry had been in high school…and yet, to see his face now you would never know how different it was.
In that moment, in his mind, nothing had changed.
"I know," Madeline smiled gently, settling back into the passenger's seat of the old, beat-up car, watching his face.
She had forgotten how much fun it was to watch Henry's face; to read through the gruff exterior and see the underlying moods and emotions no one else saw.
Even after fifteen years, she could still read him like a book.
He looked back at her, blinking as he brought himself back to the present. "I spent more time here than at home."
"I believe it," she laughed. "You spent more time in the garage when we were married than in the house. You were always tinkering with something or other. Especially once…"
She stopped herself from finishing the thought, but she didn't have to finish it.
They both remembered those last years.
The stony silences…
The excuses to not be home…
The existing in the same space, but living miles apart.
Henry shrugged, looking at the steering wheels as his fingers continued to run over it. "I can fix anything in here, Mad," he said quietly. "I can fix anything…but that was something I couldn't fix. I just didn't know how to fix it."
"You couldn't." she told him, watching his hands moving over the steering wheel. "But I couldn't, either. It was a two-way street, Henry."
He nodded stiffly, dropping his hands by his sides. "I know."
The car suddenly seemed confined as the overwhelming silence engulfed them.
"Shawn told me you told him," Henry offered after an eternal minute, finally meeting her eyes again.
She blinked in surprise, nodding slowly. "Yeah. I did. Henry, I never meant for him to blame you."
"I know."
"I never--"
"Mad," he cut her off sharply, not wanting any further explanations. "I know."
"I couldn't let him go the rest of his life thinking you were…"
She stopped herself once again, this time not even knowing how she was going to end that sentence.
"Shawn'll think whatever he wants," Henry mumbled, shrugging impassively. "He always has."
Madeline laughed, rolling her eyes. "I know."
"I could have told him if I wanted to."
"I know."
"I could have blamed you if I wanted to."
Madeline looked up at him, her eyes flashing with something like anger mingled with sympathy. "What?"
"I could have blamed you," Henry repeated, meeting her gaze steadily. "If I wanted to. But I didn't."
She smiled gently, her hand grazing past his. "I don't blame you, either, Henry. I never did…it wasn't your fault. It was…us. We just didn't work anymore."
Her touch lingered on his hand for a moment before she finally pulled it away.
Henry opened his mouth to say something, but before he did Madeline opened the car door and stepped out.
"I have to find a bathroom," she said quietly
"Right."
She leaned back in the window. "You can fix anything in here, Henry…but not out there. Out there, there are things that not even you can control."
He nodded. "Yeah."
She hesitated before straightening up and walking away, almost as if she had something else to say.
In the end, there just weren't any more words.
She left the auto shop, letting the heavy wooden door close behind her.
Henry sighed, leaning his head back, staring up at the ceiling.
For some reason, he never wanted to leave that auto shop.
It was the one place on earth where he knew he could fix anything.
