David's Soundtrack
A/N – Here's another story. Music is "October" by Evanescence. Again, lyrics will be posted at the end of the story.
2 – October
I heard of Kurt's accident through whispers in the hallways. Other kids would be talking about it in hushed voices, then stop when I approached. Although I didn't directly cause it, I knew they believed it was my fault. Hell, it probably was, at least in part. He wouldn't have been at that intersection, or driving that road even, if I hadn't forced him from McKinley. So, yeah, it kind of was my fault.
Funny thing was, it was actually getting better there for a while. After the halftime show at the game, I was actually thinking about being honest with people. Finn had asked me to go apologize to Kurt and join Glee. Initially I had rebuffed his idea, thinking how could I? But, after a while I figured maybe it wasn't such a bad idea after all. I'd suck it up, and go and apologize. I always talked about 'being a man' and maybe it was time for me to actually be one. But I never got the chance.
I knew I wouldn't be welcome as a visitor at the hospital. But for some god-only-knows reason, I wanted to see him. To speak to him, to apologize even if he couldn't hear me. So, I signed up as a junior volunteer at the hospital. Despite the fact that my initial reasons for doing it were a bit dubious, to see Kurt and it would also look good on college applications, I found it kind of rewarding. I got to help out delivering meals, taking patients to their various tests, even getting to take the new moms and babies out to their cars.
After a few days, I found Kurt's room. He was in ICU and I always quickly grabbed any errand that would take me there. I got to know the schedule of his visitors. After the first few weeks, no one could stay all the time, having to get back to their jobs and school.
The first time I really got to see him up close was early one Saturday morning. I had noticed his family usually didn't come in till the afternoons on weekends, so I signed up for the early shifts. I walked up to the glass walled room and stood there watching him. He looked even more pale than usual. I know the movies always show people in a coma, looking all peaceful like they're sleeping, but they're wrong. Kurt was way too still to be simply sleeping. The only movement was his chest rising and falling from the machines forcing air into his lungs. Even though I hadn't been driving the car that had run the light and hit him, I still felt guilty.
My thoughts were interrupted by a tap on my shoulder. I turned around to see the duty nurse. Forgetting about my blue volunteer's vest and ID clipped to the lapel, I thought she was going to ask me to leave. Instead she smiled. "They can hear us, you know." She handed me some magazines and gave me a little shove into the room. "Sometimes, the families don't even think of talking about everyday things."
As I stepped into the dimly lit room, I could hear the hissing of the respirator and the beeping of the various monitors. It was just wrong. There should have been colored lights flashing and Lady Gaga playing. I took a deep breath and moved to the chair beside the bed. Sitting down I finally looked at the small pile of magazines from the nurse. I only found one that didn't focus on electronics, hunting or sports. Placing the others on the bedside table, I opened Better Homes and Gardens and began to read to Kurt.
Over the next few weeks, the nurses got to know me. I became the main volunteer in the ICU, reading to the few patients there, making sure their decorations stayed fresh and sometimes helping out the nurses themselves. But I mainly stayed with Kurt. I started bringing magazines I had bought myself. Things I figured Kurt would like. Turned out some of the fashion stuff was kind of interesting. And I found myself going to the mall a couple of times. Even in a coma, Kurt was managing to give me a makeover. I'd talk to him about school – how my grades were getting better, what the glee club was doing, even the continuing battle between Ms Sylvester and Mr. Schu. Sometimes I'd borrow the little CD player from the nurse's station and play some music for him. I think the nurses got a kick out of that, especially since I'd often find myself dancing along. Despite the amount of time I was spending with Kurt, I never let his family or friends see me. This was my time… my penance.
One Saturday morning I arrived to find Kurt's room empty. Fearing the worst, I asked the nurse duty. She smiled sweetly and told me that he had woken up the night before. His family had been called in and it looked like he was going to be okay. I felt like I wanted to fly. Kurt was safe. Just as I turned to leave the nurse stopped me. She told me that Kurt had told his family that he had dreamed of a dancing caveman who had been the one that helped him come back. I smiled and thought… just maybe….
A/N – Again thoughts, reviews etc are greatly appreciated.
Lyrics:
I can't run anymore
I fall before you
Here I am, I have nothing left
Though I've tried to forget
You're all that I am
Take me home
I'm through fighting it
Broken, lifeless
I give up, you're my only strength
Without you
I can't go on
Anymore, ever again
My only hope (All the times I've tried)
My only peace (To walk away from you)
My only joy, my only strength (I fall into your abounding grace)
My only power, My only life (And love is where I am)
My only love
I can't run anymore
I give myself to you
I'm sorry, I'm sorry
In all my bitterness
I ignored all that's real and true
All I need is you
When night falls on me
I'll not close my eyes
I'm too alive
And you're too strong
I can't lie anymore
I fall down before you
I'm sorry, I'm sorry
My only hope (All the times I've tried)
My only peace (To walk away from you)
My only joy, my only strength (I fall into your abounding grace)
My only power, My only life (And love is where I am)
My only love
Constantly ignoring
The pain consuming me
But this time it's cut too deep
I'll never stray again
My only hope (All the times I've tried)
My only peace (To walk away from you)
My only joy, my only strength (I fall into your abounding grace)
My only power, My only life (And love is where I am)
My only love
