A/N: Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed! Also, heads up: mild swear word in this chapter.
A Summer To Remember
Chapter 2
Harry stood with Lupin outside of a dingy block of apartments in central London. He waited for a few moments before he turned to his former Professor. "Er - is something supposed to be happening?"
"Sorry, Harry. I though you knew what to do," he said in his kind, patient voice. "Think about what Professor Dumbledore told you yesterday."
He remembered the Headmaster's rather odd farewell. He had taken it in his stride at the time. It wasn't the first time the Hogwarts professor had said something that Harry thought he would have absolutely no hope understanding.
The headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix may be found at number twelve Grimmauld Place.
As soon as these words ran through the forefront of his mind a door appeared between numbers eleven and thirteen. Lupin gestured for them to enter.
Once inside Lupin smiled at Harry's obvious confusion. "Professor Dumbledore had to tell you the location before you can see the house. It's for the Order's protection. He's the secret keeper."
"The Order?" Harry questioned.
Lupin launched into a brief spiel about the secret society. Harry nodded along but his attention was slowly dwindling. The house they were standing in didn't look anything like what he would have pictured the anti-Voldemort headquarters to look like. In fact, it looked more like Death Eater headquarters. He shuddered involuntarily.
"...So Sirius offered his old house as headquarters for the Order," Lupin finished.
"I don't think I'll be doing much else." Sirius's voice came from the shadows.
Harry almost jumped in surprise. He hadn't noticed his godfather entering the room.
"This is your house?" Harry inquired. It was an unexpected turn in the conversation.
"I grew up here. It was left to me when my parents died." He glanced around the room superciliously. "To be honest, I don't really want think of it as mine. I mean I'm sure you can tell by looking at the place, my parents were dark wizards." Sirius gave a heavy sigh. "I never thought I would be back here."
"I can relate," Harry said thinking of the Dursley's and Privet drive.
Harry thought he saw Sirius looking at him quizzically, but when he looked back his features were blank, but he was definitely watching him.
"How was the train ride?" he asked. The sudden subject change did not go unnoticed.
"Interesting, I found out what happens when you use Furnunculus curse and the Jelly-Legs hex at the same time."
"Do I want to know how you found out?" Sirius asked only half joking.
Harry looked at him almost sheepishly. "Probably not."
"What happens?" he questioned, his interest piqued.
"You get tentacles all over your face."
Sirius's bark like laughter filled the room. His eyes lost their Azkaban haunt for a few seconds. It was the first time Harry saw them as the same as his parents old wedding picture. He wanted to see them like that again.
"You remind me of James and me so much sometimes," he said with an amused shake of his head. "We were always messing around with hexes and jinxes, got into loads of trouble too. Not that that's a suggestion, mind you."
"I guess that means I don't get any pointers?" Harry teased.
Lupin shook his head at both of them, smiling. "Enough pleasantries, I'm starving."
Sirius led the way into the kitchen. The three of them ate a quiet dinner together but Lupin had to leave soon after to try to track down more of the former Order members.
Harry and Sirius tried stayed up talking but before long exhaustion began to claim them. Together they set off up the stairs.
Screaming echoed through the house. No one was here, except him and Harry. Harry!
"Shit..." he mumbled, bounding down the narrow staircase. This house was supposed to be safe! He ran towards Harry's room nearly ripping the door off its hinges in his haste.
Harry was thrashing on the bed, but the problem was nothing more than a nightmare. Just a nightmare. Momentary relief coursed through him.
His head snapped up. The panic returned. This situation was very foreign. He was way out of his depth here.
He had actually spent very little time with his godson. Their previous meetings had always been marred with some impending disaster. He mentally ticked them off: the ministry had been after his soul, someone in Hogwarts wanted Harry dead and had entered him into a dangerous tournament, and the last and certainly the most traumatic, Harry had just seen one of his school mates die. It had been all business, no play. His instincts had generally worked when Harry was a baby. He could see no reason why they wouldn't work now. He dragged in a calming breath. He would play this instinctively, that could work. It had to work.
Harry was still mumbling 'no, no,' his head rolling across the pillow as Sirius crouched down beside his bed.
"Harry," Sirius said, gingerly shaking his shoulders, "wake up."
Harry's eyes shot open. "What?"
The question was barely past his godson's lips before he answered, "nightmare."
Heat slid up Harry's neck. He willed it not to come onto his cheeks. "I'm sorry," he whispered dragging a sweaty palm across his face, "didn't mean to wake you."
"It's fine," Sirius replied automatically.
They looked at each other for a while, staying completely motionless; neither of them sure what to do from here.
Sirius finally broke the silence. "I guess you can't go back to sleep?"
Harry stared at him. "You think?" he returned sarcastically. "You can go back to bed. I'll deal with this. I've done it before."
"No. No, that's not what I meant." Sirius said hastily. "I just wanted to make sure you couldn't before I went from there. Sorry, I don't really know – this is new to me," he confessed.
Harry looked deeply apologetic. "Sorry, I didn't mean to snap."
Sirius let out a feeble chuckle. "If you think that's snapping, you've got a lot to learn."
"I can snap if I want to..." Harry darkly mumbled.
"What was that?" Sirius had heard him. He was teasing.
"Nothing..." Harry replied. A ghost of a smile crossed his lips, the mood was lightening.
Sirius took his mini victory with a smirk.
"Do you want to ... talk about it?" Sirius suggested hesitantly.
"Honestly, I'd prefer not to."
"Let's go down to the kitchen and get some hot chocolate then?" Sirius suggested.
"I'm alright. You can go back to sleep, if you want. I can deal with this on my own."
Sirius cocked his head to one side. "But you don't have to."
Harry merely shrugged.
He offered a hand, and hoisted Harry to his feet. "Come on, you'll feel better."
Harry took a huge gulp of hot chocolate. The drink wormed its way to his stomach. The hot liquid actually soothed his worries a little. He remembered Lupin used to give him chocolate after the dementors presence. Sirius must have known the old remedy as well.
"Feel any better?"
Harry felt himself nodding briefly.
Sirius slowly stirred his hot chocolate, eyeing Harry across the table. Harry stared into the depths of his cup, as if trying to read the liquid as tea leaves. For the second time that night Sirius was the first to break the silence.
"Remember what I said in the hospital wing? You don't have to pretend to be alright. No one expects you to be. It's okay to let your guard down a little."
Harry mumbled something incoherent.
"What was that?" Sirius pushed.
"But I should be fine." Harry's voice was barely audible. He was hesitant.
"Why should you be fine?" Sirius asked lightly.
"I don't have the right to feel sad about it. I wasn't his friend. I barely knew him, and," he paused, swirling his cup between his hands, debating whether or not to confess his true feelings. "It's my fault he's dead. No matter what anyone says, I told him to take the cup with me. It's still my fault."
"No. Don't say that. It wasn't your fault. You didn't know the cup was a portkey. You couldn't have predicted this. No one could have."
"It is my fault."
"No, Harry. It isn't," Sirius said firmly.
"Still..." His eyes fell back to his cup.
Sirius regarded him for a moment. "No, I want you to think about it, really think. Did you know the cup was a portkey?"
"No," Harry returned reluctantly.
"Did you know taking it together would bring both of you to the mercy of Voldemort?"
"No." He said with a sigh.
"Did you point your wand a Cedric and kill him?" he asked softly.
"No."
"See?" Sirius said with a gentle smile. "It wasn't your fault at all. If you want to blame someone, blame the person responsible. This was Voldemort's doing, not yours. Okay?"
"I guess you're right..." His voice trailed off. "It just, it just it... hurts."
Sirius crossed the room and put his both hands on Harry's shoulders.
"I was a lot older than you the first time I saw someone die. I can tell you, I felt the same way. It did hurt, it still does hurt. But the pain fades with time. It gets better. Trust me, alright?"
"Mhmm," Harry said half halfheartedly.
Sirius refilled their hot chocolates with a flick of his wand. "At least drink some more."
Harry looked at him. He was steadily getting calmer as the minutes wore by. Harry pointed at the cup. "You didn't lace these did you?" he asked suspiciously.
"No, chocolate is just an old remedy." Sirius said. To be honest the thought had crossed his mind but he'd decided he wanted Harry's trust. A calming draught would only put off put off the inevitable .It wouldn't make the situation go away. Sirius had learnt from experience it was better to get his feelings off his chest, not bury them. His past mistakes didn't need to be repeated if he could help it.
They spent the next few hours reliving the stories of the marauders. Harry's mood lightened as the night wore on. When Sirius finally got a genuine laugh out of him, he suggested sleep again.
Harry consented. Somehow the idea, now, didn't seen nearly as horrible. Together the traipsed up the narrow staircase.
"Next time I see Snape I'll see if I can convince him to give us some Dreamless Sleep." Sirius said as they approached Harry's room. "It's really addictive so you can't take it often, but it wouldn't hurt to have some on hand."
"Snape?" Harry questioned sharply.
"Yeah, he's in the order, a spy for our side, apparently." Sirius chuckled at the look of disgust on his godson's face.
"Ugh."
Sirius grinned at the only person who could make him voluntarily seek out Severus Snape. "My sentiments exactly."
TBC
