It was the next day. Scout was making his rounds, capping control points, painting his jackets lime green, spray painting graffiti of ponies from the future, and generally being five years old.

He had nearly forgotten about Spy. It was around 1:00pm, and he and the rest of REDs were storming the BLU team's base. All of the mercs , but Spy. BLU's base was getting pummeled by RED's Soldier and Heavy. They were both randomly calling out invisible sentries that only existed in their head and they called for Medic when Heavy got a hangnail from his hand getting stuck in his hairy Russian ass. So needless to say, it was an average day at the "2 Fort" complexes.

Scout was in the middle of crafting his milk and his soda into metal when suddenly Spy uncloaked behind him. Not his Spy. BLU's spy. He made some weird French noise.

"I assume that your Spy briefed you on the plan?" The Spy started.

"I pahfer boxers." Scout replied half understanding that he was being funny."You are stupid. So as I was saying, your spy should have briefed you on our collaboration."

"Uhhhhh, no?"

"Ok, well, we want you to take pictures of your mom" said the BLU Spy hesitantly.

"MY MOMMY'S GONNA BE A MOVIE STAH LIKE ON THE TV?" said the more stupider of the conversers.

"Yes, totally. Now take the camera we provided you with, and simply place it in your mother's room, and I assure you that you will see your Rollup thing again." Spy explained.

"Ya mean the little picshuh thing ya gave me yestaday?"

"Yes, now I must attend to something. Sniper traded his Razorback for that stupid crocodile thing."And like the RED spy, he fell to nothing.

"Cool" Scout was on his track to getting the snack.

********I have decided to immerse my readers in the battle taking place, so please do not click away or The Cybernetic Ghost of Richard Nixon will find you********

"I AM BOOOOOLETTTTT PROOOOOOOOOF!" the BLU Heavy's big moronic voice bellowed," I AM BEST PLAYER IN WORLD! MEDIC! MEDIC! DOKTOR! MED-"

Just then a sniper shot from the balcony opposite to the one Heavy was firing from penetrated (get your giggles out) his skull. He fell to the ground with his head for some reason still intact.

"GOTCHA YEH POTBELLIED LAUD ASS, SHOULD KEPTYA HEAD DAWN!" Yelled the RED Sniper. He was obviously the best player, as he played Call of Duty.

Meanwhile in the sewers, The BLU Engineer had made a nice sentry emplacement on RED's side. He was in the midst of walking away to put up a teleported exit so his team could be douches and spawncamp, when suddenly he had a primal instinct take hold. His telekinetic powers told him his babies were in trouble.

"SPAI 'ROUND HERE!" he yelled.

Then RED Spy was up to his ass-like ways again. He had just preordered Sleeping Dogs, and he got a cool green Red Tape Recorder . This made all of the poor southerner's buildings flaccid, but Spy was as erect as ever.

Above them, the BLU scout was in the middle of looking at a furry spray of a poorly drawn "sexy" tiger thing. Suddenly the RED medic thrust his….. SAW into the runner's little frame. He had put up the spray, and was quite proud of it. You can view it in his Deviantart gallery.

In the BLU intelligence room, the RED team's demoman had set up some stickies to camp. That was his first mistake. He suddenly heard it. It was a sound of muffled laughter.

"OHHH NO!" Demoman knew what came next.

The BLU team's Pyro came bounding around the corner. He had a dirty Baloonicorn which he had painted purple and originally named "TWILIGHT SPARKLE". He was terrifying. He airblasted the stickies away and proceeded to burn Demoman with his new Phlogistonator he just found.

And far away, the RED scout wondered why the spies wanted to make a movie.

THE STORYLINE OF THIS TALE HAS EXPANDED IN GIRTH.