Hello Everyone! Wow thank you guys so much for the follows and reviews. It means so much to me to get such positive feedback. I was going to wait until later next week to upload this chapter, but I couldn't wait another day. Enjoy and I hope to hear from you. -sdwash27

Chapter One

First Impressions

Bonnie blindly propelled her arm towards her bedside dresser, her head still buried deep within the crevices of her soft pillow top mattress, to retrieve her cell phone that buzzed aggressively on its surface. Her fingers clumsily navigated around her dresser top knocking over a picture frame before finding its place around the small device.

"Shit," she muttered sheepishly getting out of bed to examine the mess she'd created.

She hit the dismiss button on her phone almost immediately relieved that her ears would soon be reprieved of its repetitive cry.

"Oh no," she said picking up the cracked picture frame from the floor and holding it in place to admire the three best friends smiling before her.

Those were such happy times she remembered, finding it hard to imagine that the brunette proudly wearing her arm around Bonnie's shoulder- she would never see again.

"Elena."

It'd been a year since they'd lost her- the beautiful girl who always knew how to make you laugh when life just seemed like one mistake after another. Elena Gilbert had been the kind of girl that made you remember how important it was to cherish the people you loved, to appreciate time because without it all you had left were memories that seemingly reminded you of your loss.

Elena was only sleeping in a sense; hibernating until her season was abloom-Stefan once said, but Bonnie knew he was only saying what they all needed to hear to cope. Elena was in fact a sleeping beauty but they were not living in the land of fairy tales and fairy god mother's, princes and princesses; true love's kiss would not wake her. If all it took was a kiss from the man who'd loved and adored her every second of her life; Damon Salvatore would not be the wreck that he is today- humanity deprived and murderous.

Sometimes she wondered if Damon had made the right decision by saving her life and killing the man whose obsession for her and his plot for revenge had driven him to his own grueling death. She'd died before, been on the other side of life and nothingness. The sacrifice would not have been too great- not for Bonnie who right now blamed herself for Elena's eternal slumber.

"Damn you Kai," she thought emphatically looking over to her bookshelf.

Wedged between an array of fine literature and her collection of turner classic films stood the urn that held the ashes of Malachai Parker. Her friends never understood why she would incline to keep the remains of a sociopath who murdered, maimed, and tortured every member of his coven not to mention all of the cruel and unforgivable deeds he'd done to Bonnie. Damon however thought she'd kept Kai's ashes as her trophy- because the death of the man she'd hated with every fiber of her being had truly been a prize. Bonnie did not feel triumphant and in need to gloat. She'd kept Kai's ashes for an entirely different set of reasons, reasons her friends would surely disapprove of.

After everything she'd been through with Kai, the lies, the violent fights- you stab me and I stab you back, the betrayal, the fear, and the addictive games of cat and mouse; he'd somehow taken a part of her, siphoned her light, and condemned her to a life where she no longer desired to practice magic. She'd realized he'd been more to her than just an enemy- a villain. He'd pushed her beyond the impossible, given her a reason to fight and without him Bonnie had nothing left to fight for.

She sighed turning her attention to her roommate's bed, made and unslept in. She couldn't remember the last time Caroline had actually spent the night in her dorm; her nights and most days belonged to Stefan Salvatore. Caroline was different. Losing her mother, her humanity, and more recently Elena, Caroline had distanced herself from her friends- especially Bonnie. Bonnie missed her so much but she knew that for Caroline she only reminded her of what was lost and of the life she could never get back.

She glanced at her phone checking the time.

8:30 a.m.

"Shit," she said aloud nearly stumbling over her feet as she hurried to the bathroom to get dressed. Her Lit class started fifteen minutes ago; Alaric was going to kill her.

She nudged the door open greeting her roommate as she moved passed her and grabbed her toothbrush from the cabinet next to her.

She'd gotten a new dorm room the start of the year- one that included a small personal bathroom, and a new roommate to replace the one that as far as Whitmore knew had dropped out to spend a year abroad. That had been Caroline's idea compelling the dean to believe this fabrication of the truth.

"Getting a late start this morning," Serena noted sweeping her red bangs out of her face so that her cat- like eyes could be seen.

"No kidding," Bonnie replied putting her toothbrush away after a full brushing. "I don't even have time to shower," she admitted pulling her now shoulder length hair into a messy bun atop her head.

"Well I hope you are at least going to change."

Bonnie glanced down at her attire; she was wearing a pair of satin night shorts and a pale gray tank top. Damn it she thought remembering she'd forgotten to grab a change of clothes before entering the bathroom.

"Of course not. Haven't you heard? Today's wear your pajama's to class day," she answered back walking out of the bathroom to retrieve a pair of jeans from her closet which was mostly filled with Caroline's things.

Note to self. Move Caroline's stuff to the Salvatore house.

She pulled her jeans over her shorts, not bothering to change her shirt deciding it was warm enough for a tank.

She headed for the door grabbing her book bag that hung from the coat rack near the door.

"I'm headed to class," she called out to her roommate before exiting the apartment.


Bonnie entered the classroom, her head hung low in hopes that no one would notice her creeping into the auditorium and finding a seat a row from the very back. She was grateful that Alaric had been writing something on the black board when she'd come in.

She retrieved her notepad and recorder from her tote realizing that she had forgotten something to write with.

"Need a Pen?" the gentleman behind her offered leaning forward to hand her one of his own.

She looked back at him taken aback by how attractive he was. His hair was coal black, cut low- the ends spiked a little and his eyes were a familiar dark blue.

"Yes, thanks."

She accepted the pen feeling a slight shock as their fingers grazed one another.

He smiled at her.

"No problem."

My god he had a beautiful smile, his teeth were perfectly white and shaped, she thought offering him a smile of her own.

"Ms. Bennett, so nice of you to join us, care to give us your thoughts?" Alaric interrupted.

Bonnie hesitated; she had absolutely no idea what had been the topic of lecture this morning.

"Um… Well… Mr. Saltzman…."

"I think what the lady is trying to say is that while humanity needs to believe that there is a heaven and a hell beyond our earthly lives; we are already in hell. Earth is our hell. Only in Death shall we ever be free of this damning place."

Bonnie turned behind her and mouthed a thank you to the guy whose smile had made her melt.

"Interesting perception Mr…."

Alaric looked down at his notes realizing he had never seen this kid around campus before.

"It's Joe," he answered. "Joe Parker."

Alaric put down his notes and stared at the guy; he didn't know why or what but something seemed very off with this kid.

"Ok Joseph…."

"Joe," he interrupted with a hint of annoyance in his tone.

"Alright Joe tell me if what you are saying is true and Death is merely a reprieve from a living hell, then what do you say to those who have lost loved ones- who's only sanity comes from the belief that there is a heaven- a sanctuary of some sort- an afterlife."

"Simple. There is no afterlife. Only Death," he snickered glaring at the older gentleman. "You know Mr. Saltzman I read about a freak barn fire not too far from here about a year ago. It was some family gathering, a wedding or something. An entire family dead. Some might say that is a tragedy but really at least they're free of this wicked hell hole."

Bonnie gasped watching Alaric as he tried to hide the pain she knew he felt after being reminded of the greatest loss of his life. Why would Joe have said something like that? It's not as if he knew that this was a personal blow for Alaric; there were no names given in the paper. It must have been a coincidence she decided looking back at Joe who was intensely staring back at her.

She turned around quickly twiddling her fingers as she awaited what came next.

"Alright I believe that is all the time we have for today. We will be discussing spirits, apparitionists, ghosts shall you say, so come prepared for a ghoulish lecture."

"Wow that was awkward," Bonnie mumbled gathering her things.

She grabbed her tote preparing to leave when she caught a glimpse of dark and moody walking passed her.

"Hey," she called after him stopping him in his tracks.

"I thought you might want this back."

She waved the pen he had given her in front of him as if she was performing some grand act of illusion.

"It's just a pen," he said disinterested. "Keep it."

He turned to walk away.

"Hey Wait," she said again catching up to him.

"What."

His eyes were smoldering with something Bonnie couldn't quite put her finger on.

"Don't you at least want to know my name," she reasoned.

He glared at her once more.

Bonnie felt as if he was burning a hole right through her chest; she'd never felt something so intense, not since.

She paused.

"I know who you are," he answered, "and so you know I have no desire for friends."

Bonnie stood by silently watching as he walked away from her, she had no words for what had just happened and was completely stunned by his admission.

However, Joe Parker exited the classroom but not without leaving an impression on Bonnie.