Songfic: Stay - Safetysuit

Walking out the door this morning wondering what it is that's going on with you

Frustration clouded his mind as he existed his sleep quarters. Alone. His bed, once a haven, was now a place of unrest and sleepless nights wondering what he did to make his mate act so cold.

Thinking of a way to say I'm sorry for something that I'm not sure I do

Fighting, that's all they seem to be doing these days. No more loving looks across the bridge, no more whispered 'I love you's' when they passed in the halls. No more anything. Jim hadn't looked his way in days. He apologized for everything under the sun, all his annoying little habits. Everything. But nothing chipped away at the ice that seemed to have formed over the captain's heart.

So come on baby let me in and show me what this really is about

"Jim, please. Just tell me what I did wrong so I can fix it. Please!." Jim looked at him with pity in his eyes.

"You didn't do anything."

"Then why are you doing this to me? Why are you pushing me away Jim? I love you, please talk to me.

Something must have made you say that. What did I do to make you say that to me.

"I don't love you." Four simple words that tore a hole in Leonard "Bones" McCoy's entire existence.

"Jim… I.. Please don't do this. I'm begging you. Please." His knees began to shake, vision began to cloud. His eyes pleaded with his lover's. Ashamed by the words leaving his mouth, seemingly without his control but his heart always spoke quicker than his brain and right now his heart was screaming for forgiveness, not yet realizing he had done nothing wrong.

"You have…" His lover stops to take a shaky breath. "You have too much baggage. Your wife--"

"Ex-wife" He corrects but his captain continues as if he hadn't utter a word at all.

"--and kids. It's all too much. I can't handle it. I can't handle this." Kirk vaguely motions between him and Bones. "I thought it's what I wanted but…" The words are left unspoken but ring clear. It's over. Done. And Bones' world as he knows it is coming to an end around him.

Hoping for a moment that I'd turn around and you'd be coming after me.

A week had passed. 7 days, 7 days painstaking days. 168 hours, 10080 seconds. Each one impossibly seeming more painful then the next. Work consumed him, kept him mind off of things. But there was only so much work to be done. And his mind never failed to conjure up images, memories of better times with James T. Kirk. "Bones." He head snaps up at that familiar voice and his captain comes running toward him. A smile covers his smooth tanned face and his blue eyes are blazing with love and affection. But no matter how fast the captain ran he would never reach his Chief Medical Officer. The hallway stretched on and on, getting longer with every stride he took in his older partner's direction. The only thing worse than being awake and living his nightmares was falling asleep and facing those nightmares.

Cause all that I can say is that its obvious you're all I see.

His eyes followed his captain's every move, he was done with his act. Done felling pathetic and sorry for himself. He was determined to show him, to show him that the only thing he saw in this entire universe was him and him alone.

What can I do to make you say Come Back To Me…