Characters/pairings: ginxtousen (no idea where that came from)
Warning: yaoi implications
Again, set before the Winter War.
Yay, only 342 words! I'm starting to get the hang of this 'drabbles' thing.
You and I
Our only bond is a ruthless man. He is the chain-link between us; he drove us together without doing a thing. He knows— knows it all, although he is never there in those white-hot ice-cold nights. But his presence hangs over the headboard, always him, always watching. Perhaps it thrills us. Danger, screams, salvation, he is everything to us. I know my— colleague likes the feeling, my body and the thought of this man combining into a twisted fantasy in his head. After flight and Las Noches came the desire, the need, the homesickness even, and we fell together like pieces of different puzzles. Then it happened again, again, again until we knew we were trapped. No complaints, no regrets, no pretty words; we come back every night knowing what we search for. Not what we want.
What are we even to each other? Not dependence, not trust, not peace or balance. Just two ice-tailed comets orbiting separate satellites. I was lost, I found him, I'm still lost.
Our only point in common is blindness. He cannot see the utter wrongness, the stupidity of… us, and I refuse to look. He cannot see how he ties himself to that other someone each time we connect; he keeps his singsong voice and plays hide-and-seek with his own feelings. I cannot see him, couldn't even if the light was on, and it is the only time I am glad of my… handicap. And then I am blind because I don't care, don't feel, but some part of me still searches for light inside this shadow of a man.
We're both playing some sort of madness. We settle for cheap substitutes. Gin wants Aizen. I want—I don't know who I want. All I'm certain of, when the brief escape is over and we sprawl again separated and panting and frustrated, is that I want anyone but the man who lies beside me.
