[This chapter TOW Everything Happens Takes place 3 months after TOW
Twister. Rachel is now 9 months pregnant and Joey and Phoebe are now a
couple but no one knows about it yet. More chapters will follow so don't
freak out if everything you were expecting doesn't happen just yet. Also I
don't own these characters, Bright, Kauffman Crane does okay? NOTE: I
wrote this one in script format instead.]
JOEY: Did you have a good time tonight?
PHOEBE: Yes, fake war movies are always entertaining, and that sub place does have great vegetarian sandwiches.
JOEY: Dude, whatever satisfies your appetite.
PHOEBE: Joey, how many meatball subs would you say you've had in your life time?
JOEY: Oh, at least like a million.
PHOEBE: Uh huh, that's what I thought!
JOEY: We sure had a lot of fun tonight, didn't we?
PHOEBE: Yeah, I really enjoy going out with you.
JOEY: I'm so glad I've found a girl who I can be in a relationship with. I mean sure having sex with 4 women a week is amusing, but it's nothing compared to being in a solid relationship with someone who you really care about, and it's not about sex.
PHOEBE: So you've gone three months without sex?
JOEY: Well, I wasn't going to like cheat on you.
PHOEBE: Aww, that's so sweet.
JOEY: Listen Pheebs, I can't believe I am actually saying this because it's the first time I've ever said it to a girl I was saying but….I love you.
PHOEBE: You what? (Teary eyed)
JOEY: I LOVE YOU PHOEBE BUFFAY!!
PHOEBE: I LOVE YOU TOO JOEY TRIBBANNI!!
* * *
(Chandler and Monica's apartment, Monica's cooking and Chandler is watching TV)
MONICA: OH MY GOD!!!
CHANDLER: What, are you okay?
MONICA: I swear, I must be hearing things, but I could have sworn that Phoebe and Joey just said I love you to each other.
CHANDLER: (in a squeaky voice) WHAT?
MONICA: I KNOW!!!
(Chandler and Monica both run out of there apartment and bang on Joey's door)
CHANDLER: COME ON JOE, OPEN UP!
(Inside the apartment)
PHOEBE: Oh my god, do you think they heard?
JOEY: Heard what? …. (Joey's dumb glance)…OH NO NO NO NO NO!!
PHOEBE: I know, damn it, so much for "our little secret".
(Opening the door)
JOEY: Hey man, what's up? (Casually)
MONICA: I think we need to be asking you and Phoebe that question.
PHOEBE: Why, what ever do you mean?
CHANDLER: We heard you guys, I mean is there something going on with you two?
(Joey and Phoebe look at each other and smile)
JOEY: Well, were trying to keep it a secret like you guys, but I guess three months is long enough. Yes, Phoebe and I are …
PHOEBE: In love.
MONICA: Oh my god, that's so sweet.
CHANDLER: Wow, that's so great, I am really happy for you guys.
(All of a sudden Ross comes running up the stairs).
ROSS: SHE'S IN LABOR!
CHANDLER: What?
ROSS: Rachel is in labor!
MONICA: Oh my god, this is like the most exciting day!
ROSS: I know! I'm going to be a father again.
JOEY: Well, it gets better than that.
ROSS: What do you mean?
PHOEBE: Joey and I are in love.
ROSS: Oh my god!
MONICA: I KNOW!!
CHANDLER: Where's Rachel?
ROSS: She's in the cab, come you guys we have to go NOW!
(They all scramble to get their coats and purses).
ROSS: I've got three cabs lined up but they are waiting, so hurry!
MONICA: (to Chandler) I'm going to be an aunt.
CHANDLER: I'm going to be Uncle Chandler.
PHOEBE: Don't forget about me, I'm going to an aunt too!
ROSS: Yes, I know this is all a lot to take, but do we really want Rachel to have her first born child IN A CAB!
CHANDLER: Geez, calm down Ross, these things take hours.
(Ross's cell phone rings)
RACHEL: (in the phone) Where the hell are you??
ROSS: We're coming sweetie, how are you doing?
RACHEL: I'm in labor Ross, how do you THINK I'm doing?
ROSS: Okay, well just hang in there we just left the apartments.
RACHEL: HURRY!
(At the hospital)
RACHEL: Oh my god, I feel so much better. Epidurals are better than sex!
ROSS: Well I am glad you're comfortable sweetie.
RACHEL: Yeah, I feel really fat; I can't wait to get her out of me. I'm excited to see her.
ROSS: Rach, you're not fat, you are so beautiful.
RACHEL: Thanks sweetie!
ROSS: You know what?
RACHEL: What?
ROSS: I'm really proud of you.
RACHEL: Really?
ROSS: You're handling this a lot better than I thought.
RACHEL: What did you think I was going to be wimp or something?
ROSS: No, but remember when Carol was in labor, she was a wreck. You're…you're so calm. I feel like I'm the one who's freaking out.
RACHEL: I know, but I think I know why I am so calm.
ROSS: What's that?
RACHEL: I'm really happy Ross, I know I didn't really ask for this or expect it, but now thinking about it, I'm so happy that I'm about to have a baby.
ROSS: Me too Rach.
(In the waiting room)
MONICA: This isn't fair Chandler. We've been trying to get me pregnant for three months, and nothing. I wish I were Rachel.
CHANDLER: I know honey, but three months is not that long. We're not going to give up, okay? I mean come on, having amazing sex every night, isn't that bad is it?
MONICA: No, that part I do like, but I've taken seven pregnancy tests and they have all been negative. It's like I get all excited thinking, maybe this time it'll be positive, but then to see all those negatives.
CHANDLER: (looks into her eyes) We're going to have a baby, I know it. And Monica, when we do it is going to be so incredible, because we want it so bad.
MONICA: We?
CHANDLER: Yeah, we. I mean in the beginning, I decided let's start trying…for you, but now I really want this too.
MONICA: Really?
CHANDLER: Yeah.
MONICA: Oh my god, that's so sweet.
CHANDLER: Mon?
MONICA: Yeah.
CHANDLER: I love you.
MONICA: I love you too Chandler.
(They smile at each other)
CHANDLER: You uh want to go for a walk?
MONICA: (looks around) OKAY!
(In hospital room)
PHOEBE: Do you want a visitor?
RACHEL: Oh sure, come on in.
PHOEBE: Come on Joey.
JOEY: So how are you doing?
RACHEL: Good, I'm already 7 centimeters, so it should be pretty soon now.
PHOEBE: You guys must be like totally excited?
ROSS: (looking at Rachel) Yeah, we are.
RACHEL: (smiles) so where are um Monica and Chandler?
JOEY: I don't know, I think they went for a walk.
ROSS: Oh okay, well I hope they are back in time.
PHOEBE: Don't worry, Monica wouldn't miss this.
ROSS: (looking at the monitor) Oh my god Rachel, you're having a big contraction.
RACHEL: Really? I don't feel a thing.
PHOEBE: Thank god for epidurals.
JOEY: Have you guys decided on a name yet?
RACHEL: Yeah, but we're not going to say anything until the baby is born.
PHOEBE: (Whispers in Joey's ear) I know what it is.
ROSS: No you don't.
PHOEBE: Oh come on, I know you're going to name her after me, it's so obvious!
(Doctor enters)
DR. WEST: Hello Rachel, are you feeling?
RACHEL: Anxious, does everything look okay?
DR. WEST: Yep, the heart rate is strong, and your labor is progressing well. I think in about an hour you guys should be parents.
ROSS: Oh my god, that soon?
DR. WEST: From the looks of things.
* * *
CHANDLER: Look, a utility closet!
MONICA: Chandler we can't do it now, Rachel is going to have her baby any minute now!
CHANDLER: Oh come on, you know how fast I can go.
MONICA: Okay…
(The audience knows that Chandler and Monica are going at in the utility closet and you here this from inside)
CHANDLER: Oh that's not good.
MONICA: What?
CHANDLER: A plunger just fell…in places!
MONICA: Chandler! Oh my god, pull it off!
CHANDLER: I'm trying…
MONICA: Damn it, I knew we should have brought the vapor rub!
(COMMERICAL BREAK)
RACHEL: Okay, it is starting to really hurt again. I swear to god, I'm never having sex again! ROSS!
ROSS: Oh my god, are you serious?
DR. WEST: Don't worry, they all say that, it's just because I turned her epidural drip off.
RACHEL: WHAT! Why did you do that?
DR. WEST: Well, Rachel, it's time for you to start pushing!
ROSS: What!
RACHEL: Oh my god!
DR. WEST: Okay, I'm going to need everyone except Ross to clear out.
JOEY: Okay bye you guys, good luck.
PHOEBE: Remember, YOU'RE NAMING HER PHOEBE!
(Joey and Phoebe leaves and Rachel gets ready to have her baby)
DR. WEST: Are you ready Rachel?
(Rachel like nods her head with tears in eyes and Ross holds her hand)
ROSS: It's okay sweetie, I'm right here.
DR. WEST: Okay here comes a contraction now I need you to push.
ROSS: Come on Rachel, you're doing great.
DR. WEST: Good! She's coming Rachel, I can see her, just keep going!
RACHEL: I can't, it really hurts!
ROSS: I know but Rachel, you're doing it, I can see her head.
DR. WEST: You're almost there Rach!
* * *
(Joey and Phoebe are nervously waiting outside the door and they see Chandler and Monica running down the hall)
JOEY: Oh my god, where were you guys?
CHANDLER: I know, we went for a walk but we got lost.
MONICA: Did we miss it?
PHOEBE: She's having the baby right now.
CHANDLER: Is she okay?
PHOEBE: As far as know, she's screaming like hell though.
* * *
DR. WEST: One more push Rachel and you'll be a mother!
RACHEL: Oh my god!
ROSS: Come on you can do it!
(Rachel keeps pushing and finally you hear a baby cry)
DR. WEST: IT'S A GIRL!!!!
ROSS: (crying) Oh my god.
RACHEL: (really emotional) I have a daughter?
DR. WEST: Yes you do, she is so gorgeous. Do you want to hold her?
RACHEL: (nods) Yes!
(Dr. West wraps up the baby in a blanket and hands the baby to Rachel)
RACHEL: I can't believe it, she's so beautiful. Look what we brought in to the world Ross.
ROSS: She looks just like you Rach, "hi, I'm your daddy"
RACHEL: "I'm your mommy, Lauren"
ROSS: Lauren Michelle Geller…I love the name you picked.
RACHEL: Thanks, you were right Ross, this is just so amazing. I can't believe I was worried about having this little angel in my life.
ROSS: Do you want me to go to tell the guys?
RACHEL: Yeah, have them come in.
(Ross goes out in the hall)
ROSS: Hey you guys!
ALL: Is she okay, how did it go? Etc.
ROSS: Everything is fine; Rachel and I just had a little girl, Lauren Michelle Geller. She is so beautiful guys, come on in and see her.
(They all enter the room)
RACHEL: Hi you guys, come here, Lauren wants to say hi.
JOEY: Oh wow, she's so cute and tiny.
PHOEBE: I know, wow she's perfect Rach.
MONICA: Oh my god, she's so beautiful. Can I hold her?
RACHEL: Oh sure (hands Lauren to Monica).
MONICA: Hi Lauren! I'm Aunt Monica. (emotional) Wow, you are such a gorgeous baby.
RACHEL: I know, having a baby, god it's just so amazing Mon.
CHANDLER: (whispers in Monica's ear) just think, you're next.
MONICA: I can't wait.
ROSS: Oh my god, Mon, are you pregnant?
MONICA: Not yet, but…
CHANDLER: Monica and I…are trying to have a baby.
PHOEBE: Oh my god, that's so great!
ROSS: Oh wow, yeah, that's awesome, than Lauren will have a little cousin to play with.
JOEY: Awww….
PHOEBE: You want a baby Joey?
JOEY: Someday…. if I don't have to change diapers.
RACHEL: Wow, I can't believe how much our lives have changed. The past was amazing, but it seems as though my life just keeps getting better and better.
ROSS: I know, this is so great, I can't wait for Ben to meet his sister! Hey, Mon, wasn't Carol supposed to call, I was looking all over for you, where were you guys?
CHANDLER: We uh, took a little walk.
MONICA: Yeah, we kinda made a little detour.
JOEY: Really, where to?
CHANDLER: The utility closet.
PHOEBE: You guy did it in a UTILITY CLOSET!
MONICA: Shhhh…..
JOEY: Damn it, I was sure I had sex in every possible place…CHANDLER!
ROSS: Lauren, do not listen to your Uncle Joey he has a very dirty mind!
JOEY: Did you have a good time tonight?
PHOEBE: Yes, fake war movies are always entertaining, and that sub place does have great vegetarian sandwiches.
JOEY: Dude, whatever satisfies your appetite.
PHOEBE: Joey, how many meatball subs would you say you've had in your life time?
JOEY: Oh, at least like a million.
PHOEBE: Uh huh, that's what I thought!
JOEY: We sure had a lot of fun tonight, didn't we?
PHOEBE: Yeah, I really enjoy going out with you.
JOEY: I'm so glad I've found a girl who I can be in a relationship with. I mean sure having sex with 4 women a week is amusing, but it's nothing compared to being in a solid relationship with someone who you really care about, and it's not about sex.
PHOEBE: So you've gone three months without sex?
JOEY: Well, I wasn't going to like cheat on you.
PHOEBE: Aww, that's so sweet.
JOEY: Listen Pheebs, I can't believe I am actually saying this because it's the first time I've ever said it to a girl I was saying but….I love you.
PHOEBE: You what? (Teary eyed)
JOEY: I LOVE YOU PHOEBE BUFFAY!!
PHOEBE: I LOVE YOU TOO JOEY TRIBBANNI!!
* * *
(Chandler and Monica's apartment, Monica's cooking and Chandler is watching TV)
MONICA: OH MY GOD!!!
CHANDLER: What, are you okay?
MONICA: I swear, I must be hearing things, but I could have sworn that Phoebe and Joey just said I love you to each other.
CHANDLER: (in a squeaky voice) WHAT?
MONICA: I KNOW!!!
(Chandler and Monica both run out of there apartment and bang on Joey's door)
CHANDLER: COME ON JOE, OPEN UP!
(Inside the apartment)
PHOEBE: Oh my god, do you think they heard?
JOEY: Heard what? …. (Joey's dumb glance)…OH NO NO NO NO NO!!
PHOEBE: I know, damn it, so much for "our little secret".
(Opening the door)
JOEY: Hey man, what's up? (Casually)
MONICA: I think we need to be asking you and Phoebe that question.
PHOEBE: Why, what ever do you mean?
CHANDLER: We heard you guys, I mean is there something going on with you two?
(Joey and Phoebe look at each other and smile)
JOEY: Well, were trying to keep it a secret like you guys, but I guess three months is long enough. Yes, Phoebe and I are …
PHOEBE: In love.
MONICA: Oh my god, that's so sweet.
CHANDLER: Wow, that's so great, I am really happy for you guys.
(All of a sudden Ross comes running up the stairs).
ROSS: SHE'S IN LABOR!
CHANDLER: What?
ROSS: Rachel is in labor!
MONICA: Oh my god, this is like the most exciting day!
ROSS: I know! I'm going to be a father again.
JOEY: Well, it gets better than that.
ROSS: What do you mean?
PHOEBE: Joey and I are in love.
ROSS: Oh my god!
MONICA: I KNOW!!
CHANDLER: Where's Rachel?
ROSS: She's in the cab, come you guys we have to go NOW!
(They all scramble to get their coats and purses).
ROSS: I've got three cabs lined up but they are waiting, so hurry!
MONICA: (to Chandler) I'm going to be an aunt.
CHANDLER: I'm going to be Uncle Chandler.
PHOEBE: Don't forget about me, I'm going to an aunt too!
ROSS: Yes, I know this is all a lot to take, but do we really want Rachel to have her first born child IN A CAB!
CHANDLER: Geez, calm down Ross, these things take hours.
(Ross's cell phone rings)
RACHEL: (in the phone) Where the hell are you??
ROSS: We're coming sweetie, how are you doing?
RACHEL: I'm in labor Ross, how do you THINK I'm doing?
ROSS: Okay, well just hang in there we just left the apartments.
RACHEL: HURRY!
(At the hospital)
RACHEL: Oh my god, I feel so much better. Epidurals are better than sex!
ROSS: Well I am glad you're comfortable sweetie.
RACHEL: Yeah, I feel really fat; I can't wait to get her out of me. I'm excited to see her.
ROSS: Rach, you're not fat, you are so beautiful.
RACHEL: Thanks sweetie!
ROSS: You know what?
RACHEL: What?
ROSS: I'm really proud of you.
RACHEL: Really?
ROSS: You're handling this a lot better than I thought.
RACHEL: What did you think I was going to be wimp or something?
ROSS: No, but remember when Carol was in labor, she was a wreck. You're…you're so calm. I feel like I'm the one who's freaking out.
RACHEL: I know, but I think I know why I am so calm.
ROSS: What's that?
RACHEL: I'm really happy Ross, I know I didn't really ask for this or expect it, but now thinking about it, I'm so happy that I'm about to have a baby.
ROSS: Me too Rach.
(In the waiting room)
MONICA: This isn't fair Chandler. We've been trying to get me pregnant for three months, and nothing. I wish I were Rachel.
CHANDLER: I know honey, but three months is not that long. We're not going to give up, okay? I mean come on, having amazing sex every night, isn't that bad is it?
MONICA: No, that part I do like, but I've taken seven pregnancy tests and they have all been negative. It's like I get all excited thinking, maybe this time it'll be positive, but then to see all those negatives.
CHANDLER: (looks into her eyes) We're going to have a baby, I know it. And Monica, when we do it is going to be so incredible, because we want it so bad.
MONICA: We?
CHANDLER: Yeah, we. I mean in the beginning, I decided let's start trying…for you, but now I really want this too.
MONICA: Really?
CHANDLER: Yeah.
MONICA: Oh my god, that's so sweet.
CHANDLER: Mon?
MONICA: Yeah.
CHANDLER: I love you.
MONICA: I love you too Chandler.
(They smile at each other)
CHANDLER: You uh want to go for a walk?
MONICA: (looks around) OKAY!
(In hospital room)
PHOEBE: Do you want a visitor?
RACHEL: Oh sure, come on in.
PHOEBE: Come on Joey.
JOEY: So how are you doing?
RACHEL: Good, I'm already 7 centimeters, so it should be pretty soon now.
PHOEBE: You guys must be like totally excited?
ROSS: (looking at Rachel) Yeah, we are.
RACHEL: (smiles) so where are um Monica and Chandler?
JOEY: I don't know, I think they went for a walk.
ROSS: Oh okay, well I hope they are back in time.
PHOEBE: Don't worry, Monica wouldn't miss this.
ROSS: (looking at the monitor) Oh my god Rachel, you're having a big contraction.
RACHEL: Really? I don't feel a thing.
PHOEBE: Thank god for epidurals.
JOEY: Have you guys decided on a name yet?
RACHEL: Yeah, but we're not going to say anything until the baby is born.
PHOEBE: (Whispers in Joey's ear) I know what it is.
ROSS: No you don't.
PHOEBE: Oh come on, I know you're going to name her after me, it's so obvious!
(Doctor enters)
DR. WEST: Hello Rachel, are you feeling?
RACHEL: Anxious, does everything look okay?
DR. WEST: Yep, the heart rate is strong, and your labor is progressing well. I think in about an hour you guys should be parents.
ROSS: Oh my god, that soon?
DR. WEST: From the looks of things.
* * *
CHANDLER: Look, a utility closet!
MONICA: Chandler we can't do it now, Rachel is going to have her baby any minute now!
CHANDLER: Oh come on, you know how fast I can go.
MONICA: Okay…
(The audience knows that Chandler and Monica are going at in the utility closet and you here this from inside)
CHANDLER: Oh that's not good.
MONICA: What?
CHANDLER: A plunger just fell…in places!
MONICA: Chandler! Oh my god, pull it off!
CHANDLER: I'm trying…
MONICA: Damn it, I knew we should have brought the vapor rub!
(COMMERICAL BREAK)
RACHEL: Okay, it is starting to really hurt again. I swear to god, I'm never having sex again! ROSS!
ROSS: Oh my god, are you serious?
DR. WEST: Don't worry, they all say that, it's just because I turned her epidural drip off.
RACHEL: WHAT! Why did you do that?
DR. WEST: Well, Rachel, it's time for you to start pushing!
ROSS: What!
RACHEL: Oh my god!
DR. WEST: Okay, I'm going to need everyone except Ross to clear out.
JOEY: Okay bye you guys, good luck.
PHOEBE: Remember, YOU'RE NAMING HER PHOEBE!
(Joey and Phoebe leaves and Rachel gets ready to have her baby)
DR. WEST: Are you ready Rachel?
(Rachel like nods her head with tears in eyes and Ross holds her hand)
ROSS: It's okay sweetie, I'm right here.
DR. WEST: Okay here comes a contraction now I need you to push.
ROSS: Come on Rachel, you're doing great.
DR. WEST: Good! She's coming Rachel, I can see her, just keep going!
RACHEL: I can't, it really hurts!
ROSS: I know but Rachel, you're doing it, I can see her head.
DR. WEST: You're almost there Rach!
* * *
(Joey and Phoebe are nervously waiting outside the door and they see Chandler and Monica running down the hall)
JOEY: Oh my god, where were you guys?
CHANDLER: I know, we went for a walk but we got lost.
MONICA: Did we miss it?
PHOEBE: She's having the baby right now.
CHANDLER: Is she okay?
PHOEBE: As far as know, she's screaming like hell though.
* * *
DR. WEST: One more push Rachel and you'll be a mother!
RACHEL: Oh my god!
ROSS: Come on you can do it!
(Rachel keeps pushing and finally you hear a baby cry)
DR. WEST: IT'S A GIRL!!!!
ROSS: (crying) Oh my god.
RACHEL: (really emotional) I have a daughter?
DR. WEST: Yes you do, she is so gorgeous. Do you want to hold her?
RACHEL: (nods) Yes!
(Dr. West wraps up the baby in a blanket and hands the baby to Rachel)
RACHEL: I can't believe it, she's so beautiful. Look what we brought in to the world Ross.
ROSS: She looks just like you Rach, "hi, I'm your daddy"
RACHEL: "I'm your mommy, Lauren"
ROSS: Lauren Michelle Geller…I love the name you picked.
RACHEL: Thanks, you were right Ross, this is just so amazing. I can't believe I was worried about having this little angel in my life.
ROSS: Do you want me to go to tell the guys?
RACHEL: Yeah, have them come in.
(Ross goes out in the hall)
ROSS: Hey you guys!
ALL: Is she okay, how did it go? Etc.
ROSS: Everything is fine; Rachel and I just had a little girl, Lauren Michelle Geller. She is so beautiful guys, come on in and see her.
(They all enter the room)
RACHEL: Hi you guys, come here, Lauren wants to say hi.
JOEY: Oh wow, she's so cute and tiny.
PHOEBE: I know, wow she's perfect Rach.
MONICA: Oh my god, she's so beautiful. Can I hold her?
RACHEL: Oh sure (hands Lauren to Monica).
MONICA: Hi Lauren! I'm Aunt Monica. (emotional) Wow, you are such a gorgeous baby.
RACHEL: I know, having a baby, god it's just so amazing Mon.
CHANDLER: (whispers in Monica's ear) just think, you're next.
MONICA: I can't wait.
ROSS: Oh my god, Mon, are you pregnant?
MONICA: Not yet, but…
CHANDLER: Monica and I…are trying to have a baby.
PHOEBE: Oh my god, that's so great!
ROSS: Oh wow, yeah, that's awesome, than Lauren will have a little cousin to play with.
JOEY: Awww….
PHOEBE: You want a baby Joey?
JOEY: Someday…. if I don't have to change diapers.
RACHEL: Wow, I can't believe how much our lives have changed. The past was amazing, but it seems as though my life just keeps getting better and better.
ROSS: I know, this is so great, I can't wait for Ben to meet his sister! Hey, Mon, wasn't Carol supposed to call, I was looking all over for you, where were you guys?
CHANDLER: We uh, took a little walk.
MONICA: Yeah, we kinda made a little detour.
JOEY: Really, where to?
CHANDLER: The utility closet.
PHOEBE: You guy did it in a UTILITY CLOSET!
MONICA: Shhhh…..
JOEY: Damn it, I was sure I had sex in every possible place…CHANDLER!
ROSS: Lauren, do not listen to your Uncle Joey he has a very dirty mind!
