Hello! Here is the 2nd aka last chapter of this! I hope this can match up to the first one. Oh also, this is still a song-fic sooooo yeah.
Disclaimer!; If I owned Big Time Rush, would I'd be on writing stories? ...Probably. ;D
Warnings: Cutting, Character Death
Music looks like this music. Thoughts look like this 'thoughts'.3rd Person is '3rd person'
*Kendall's PoV*
These words can cut right through,
'Cause all along I knew you were sorry,
but you haven't said it yet.
But I won't forget.
Now, I know I want to die. His words...they probably cutted deeper than any blade could. But, a little part, deep inside me knows James don't mean all of that. He can be over-dramatic, for god's sake! He's James Diamond, the biggest drama king on the planet! But still...he couldn't have said it all in vain...could he?
Secret love, my escape!
Take me far, far away!
Secret love, are you there?
Will you answer my prayer?
Please take me anywhere but here!
I know this doesn't make any sense but...I'm sorry. I know he should be the one sorry but...I just want him back! he doesn't need to say sorry! I just want him here by my side...making me feel better.
"James! I take back everything I said! Just please, secret love, be my escape. Take me far from this reality and to a place of pure bliss...where nothing can go wrong..." I trail off, hoping maybe he can hear me from here.
When were together,
thoughts of her disappear.
If I fell to pieces,
You heal this pain I feel.
When we talked earlier, it sounded like he was jealous...of Jo? Well, that's not even possible, for two reasons. One, he's as straight as a ruler. Two, he is waaaaaaaaaaay better than Jo! When I'm with him...I don't even know who Jo is...all I can think of is James. He's the one I long for, he's the one I love, need, desire, and want to keep happy. 'After getting that thought out of his head, Kendall thought about if James had figured out how broken Kendall really was.'
"I know, if you knew how broken I really am right now, you would have stayed. You know this feeling of despair and loneliness more than anyone. Pleaseeeeeeee, secret love! I need you, before...I do something I'll regret." As I said this I could hear my own desperation and angst. I sounded pathetic, unloved, and scared. "I don't want to feel this way anymore." I said this quietly to myself, before sluggishly making my way out of bed and towards the door and locked it. Then, I walked over the James' bed and laid on my stomach, just smelling the Cuda Man Spray locked into the bed. Just this started making tears come back...it reminded me too much of him. After laying there, sobbing for 5 long minutes, I got up and took a picture of me and James, in Minnesota about two years ago in our teams hockey jerseys' right in front of an ice rink we just played at. Next, I walked into the bathroom and set the picture on the sink. "We look so happy in that picture, don't we Jamesy?" I say sadly, a small smile on my face ,tears starting to stream from my eyes again.
"Secret love, my escape! Take me far, far away! Secret love, are you there? Will you answer my prayer?" I bite my lip before singing the next part. "P-Please...t-t-ake me anywhere but h-here." I sing before, reaching under the sink for the razor I kept there, just for an occasion like this. I haven't used it or at least tried to for about a year. But thats about to change. Before I bring the blade to my wrist, I say one last thing. "James, I know you can't here me but...I love you. More than anything I have ever before...I truly mean that with every fiber in my body. Just please come and save me. Be my hero, my knight in shinning armor...please love, save me." A single tear falls from my cheek to my wrist and reminds me of what I'm doing. I bring my 2nd escape to my wrist and just dig it deep, not caring about the burning sensation, not caring about the blood gushing, just caring that the heart
break is leaving.
*James' PoV*
*A few minutes ago*
'Wow, that was kinda mean what I said to Kendall. I hope he didn't take it to harsh...but he has to see where I'm coming from! Jo leaving really isn't- wait...that's not what he's sad about! I forgot that's what he said! But, if its not Jo he's upset about...what could it be? What else could have him so upset? Well...I'm not just gonna sit here and not find out! I get up from the bright orange couch and march to Kendall and I's room. I go to open the door but...its locked? Why? Before I knock on the door, I put my head to it and I hear sobs...poor Kendall. What has him so upset! The sobs stop and I hear the bathroom door click close. I don't think much of it until the gears start to turn in my head.
"He's going in there...to cut!" I lightly scream, before I start hyperventilating. I fall to the floor and pull my knees to my chest. 'No...no! This can't be happening! He can't be! He can't do that...he can't kill himself...not before I tell him I love him. Even If he rejects me...he has to know.' Just then Logan and Carlos come into the apartment, hand and hand from there date. As soon as they see me, they run to my side.
"What wrong? Why are you freaking out?" Carlos says, eyes already filled with concern.
"K-k-k-endall...we gotta get in there, NOW!" I jump up and start throwing my body against the door repeatingly until Logan grabs my wrist and spins me to face him.
"Wait! Whats the problem!"
"Remember when K-k-kendall used to cut?" I ask, shaking like a mad-man. Carlos and Logan nod there heads before I continue.
"I think that's what he's doing...right now." I say when suddenly I hear bangs. I turn my head to see Logan banning his body agasint the door and Carlos, already equipped with his helmet, running into the door, as well. I join in and we continue our assault on the door until finally, the door falls down. We all rush into the room, all running to the bathroom door. Before I put my hand on the handle, I heard a loud bang come from the bathroom.
"Kendall! Love! Noooooo! I'm coming!" I scream before I harshly grab the door handle and swing the door open. What I saw next will scar me forever.
*Kendall's PoV*
*2 minutes ago*
All I could hear was my sobs, blood dripping from my wrist, and...bangs on the door? 'No James can't see me like this. I want him to save me and-no...I don't deserve him...I'm nothing.' After my already 3 deep cuts, the first to represent my unrequited love. Second, being unloved, and third...for being a pathetic piece of shit, I make one last cut, from my elbow to the beginning of my palm. My vision starts to blur and my knees give out, making me have to sit on the toilet. I look around me and see blood all over the floor, my clothes, and my hands.
Out of nowhere, I hear the door fall down and sets of footsteps come into the bedroom. 'Oh no, Logan and Carlos too.' "Shit" was all I could mutter. Suddenly, everything started to finally break down. First my lungs, I just couldn't breathe anymore, but I didn't care. Next my whole body just falls onto the floor, my head hitting the sink on the way down. Finally, the numbness takes over my body and I just let it happen. The last thing I see before my eyelids close are a horrified James kneeled next to me and a petrified Carlos crying into Logan's arms. With the last bit of my strength, I put my hand to James' cheek and use my dying breathe to mutter my last words to my secret love.
"Goodbye...love."
Sooooooooo? How was it? I'm sorry I killed Kendall! Or did I ;D I might make a sequel...if I get enough requests for it. I mean I might have it were...Kendall lives! Or should I just keep it at this. Reviews are greatly appericated! :D ( Why am I so cheerful...I just killed Kendall! ): )
