Disclaimer – Don't own it.
Note – This story will be updated at the start of each month.
Celebrating the Connor Way
By E is for Idiot
February 1st
I am actually going to punch you, Connor.
Pinch, punch, first of the month.
Connor sent the text with a smile on his face.
Connor's phone chirped, alerting him of a new text.
Poke in the eye for being so sly :D
Connor internally cheered, Jess was playing along. Sometimes he and Jess were so alike you'd swear they were related.
A swift kick for being so slick ;)
Abby texted him, even though she was just in the kitchen and he was still in the bedroom. Then again, Jess was only in the next room. When had technology stopped people from actually getting up and talking to each other?
Connor when I see you, I will actually punch you.
Connor frowned at Becker's message and sent back:
But it doesn't rhyme! You can do better than that, Action Man!
A couple of minutes later, when Connor was just about to give up hope, he got a text.
Pinch me or punch me when the calendar reads '1', and you'll be looking down the barrel of a gun.
Connor rolled his eyes. He was trying to think of a witty remark suitable enough to send back when he remembered something, he quickly logged on to the computer, genius having struck.
"Morning, Con." Abby said as she wondered into the bedroom with two mugs of coffee. "Whatcha doing?"
"I forgot to check the website!"
"What website?"
"The daily celebrations website! I usually check it every morning but I was sending the texts and I completely forgot to see-"
"Okay, so what day is it today?" Abby interrupted.
Connor looked between Abby and the computer. Then grinned.
"Happy Working Naked Day, Abby!" he shouted.
"No, Connor." Connor pouted.
"But..." He started but Jess wandered in the room at that moment, having heard Connor shouting.
"What's going on?" She asked, oblivious to the death stares Abby was giving Connor.
"Happy Working Naked Day, Jess!"
"No, Connor!" Jess blushed bright red, no doubt thinking about a certain soldier in the buff.
"Maybe Action Man will agree with me," Connor whipped out his phone.
Happy Working Naked Day, Action Man. Bet you can't wait to see Jess today! ;)
A couple of minutes later he got a text back.
When you get to work, Temple. I am actually going to punch you.
February 4th
Can this be celebrated every day?
Connor had technically cheated, he had looked ahead to see what celebrations were coming up, but there were no rules to say that he couldn't. So, on the 3rd he invited Becker, Matt and Emily round to the flat and made sure that they had enough alcoholic drinks to ensure they couldn't drive home but not enough to give them a bad hangover, leaving them stranded here til the 4th. It was at 6:30am on the 4th that Connor started the brilliance that was his plan.
Fifteen minutes later he had finished and went about waking everyone up, telling them that breakfast was getting hot. Jess was the first to emerge in her polka dot pyjamas, she squealed in delight when she saw what was on the table. Which roused Emily who was sleeping on the couch, she rolled off the side of it and landed directly onto Matt who'd being sleeping on the floor. Matt's muffled 'Ow' had then woken Becker, who had been sleeping in the armchair in a position Jess would've thought impossible to sleep in. Connor almost laughed at the domino display.
Finally Abby came out of the bedroom and the celebrations could start.
"Happy Eat Ice Cream for Breakfast Day!" Connor cheered. "And in celebration I have made you each an ice cream sundae!"
Connor managed to seat his weary guests, Abby had just rolled her eyes and gone along with her fiancé's ways and Jess was practically bouncing in her seat.
"For Jess," Connor produced a sundae "Chocolate ice cream with bits of chocolate brownie and chocolate sauce." Jess squealed in delight, grabbed the spoon Connor handed her and began without delay.
"For Becker," he produced an identical sundae to Jess' "Because you seem to be enjoying chocolate more." Becker ignored Connor's wink and took his spoon and dug in.
"Abby, your favourite," He handed her a sundae "Strawberry ice cream with chunks of actual strawberry and some whipped cream," he winked at the last two words, causing Abby to thwack his head lightly with her spoon, Connor wasn't worried because of the size of the grin she was sporting on her face.
"Lady Emily," Connor said with a mock bow, producing her sundae with a flourish. "Traditional vanilla ice cream with a wafer bar." Emily smiled, Connor had remembered her disliking for other flavours when she had tried them; she had just preferred the traditional.
"And Matt," He handed Matt and sundae that looked like a ice cream store had exploded in it "That's vanilla, chocolate and strawberry ice cream with brownies and a wafer topped with caramel, toffee and chocolate sauce. I thought you'd like to try it all since you wouldn't have had it where you're from." Matt grinned and started eating, even if it was slightly hesitantly.
Connor then grabbed the last sundae, which was the same as Matt's except it had whipped cream and hundreds and thousands on top. Connor grabbed himself a spoon and tucked in.
"Can we celebrate this every day?" Jess asked.
February 5th
You can't eat it from the tub!
Connor had a habit that he had gained as a child. He liked to eat Nutella from the pot with a spoon. Not spread it on stuff like his Mother had insisted, but just sit there with a full pot and a spoon until it was all gone. Shortly after moving in, Connor had found Jess liked to do the same thing. And all out wars started over who got the last pot of Nutella, so Abby stopped buying it. Which prompted Connor and Jess to buy their own in secret, and because they both knew the other did this Connor introduced Jess to the 5th of February. And then they both told Abby.
The 5th of February was National Nutella Day. It was also the only day of the year that Connor's mum let him eat Nutella from the pot (that she knew of anyway).
So Jess and Connor both asked Abby if they could do this, Abby agreed and said that she'd even buy the Nutella for them. To which they'd both hugged her and said she was the best.
It was this that led to Connor and Jess sitting in the back of the car eating from a massive Nutella pots each, with Abby driving them to the ARC. What Abby hadn't realised was that one pot wasn't going to sustain the two for the one day of the year they were actually allowed to do this. Silly Abby. Connor and Jess both had more Nutella pots stashed away; in bags, lockers, Jess had one stored in one of the draws for the ADD, while Connor had hidden his in his stack of spare clothes (as no one dared venture near Connor's socks).
They hadn't even reached the ARC when both Connor and Jess had finished the massive tubs. Abby stared in amusement and shock when she heard the clank of the spoon hitting the bottom of the containers. But it wasn't until later that she found out about the two's secret stashes.
She found out about Connor's when he not so subtly sauntered off saying he was going to put on some different clothes because he didn't like the ones he had on. Abby had followed him to see what he was up to. She'd walked in just as he'd started cramming the chocolate spread into his mouth; he'd looked at her with a 'hand in the cookie jar' look, bits of chocolate round his lips, the spoon slack in his mouth.
"Awwy!" He exclaimed when he saw her "I' is no' wha' i' wooks wike!"
"Mmmhmm." She said, before rolling her eyes and walking back out again.
She'd found out about Jess' via Becker, she had been going to give Jess her weekly updates on the creature when she heard Becker say: "But it's disgusting!" Jess made a 'humph'-ing sound.
"Is no'." Jess' voice sounded muffled for some reason, it reminded Abby of when Connor had been trying to talk with his mouth full of Nutella.
"But, you can't eat it from the tub!"
"Twoo-ay woo can."
"What?" Abby walked in to see Jess swallow something.
"Today you can." She repeated. "Happy National Nutella Day! The one day of the year Connor and I are allowed to eat it from the tub!"
"The one day you're allowed, having rules never stopped you with chocolate before. I bet you're eating it year round and just hiding it." Becker guessed.
"You've still got guns hidden, even though you were meant to get rid of them when the EMDs came in."
"How did you know that?" Becker hissed, leaning in.
"I'm the eyes and ears of the ARC, I know everything." Jess said ominously, before shoving an overflowing spoonful of Nutella into her mouth.
"Well, now I know both secrets." Abby strolled by casually and placed the files on Jess' desk, whose jaw would have dropped had it not been cemented together with chocolate spread.
Abby then turned serious "Jess," she looked at the young girl "I probably should've expected it, and Becker," Becker turned his focus away from the bit of chocolate on the corner of Jess' mouth, Abby rolled her eyes "I won't tell Matt. Now, if you'll excuse me I need to hunt down Connor's hidden Nutella stash before he makes himself sick. Becker, I'm trusting you to make sure Jess doesn't eat too much." Becker nodded.
Jess groaned.
Abby left to the sounds of Becker trying to coax the chocolate off Jess. Good luck with that Becker Abby thought. Now, where would Connor hide his Nutella?
February 8th
Always prepared.
(1)
"The EMDs aren't working!" Emily cried in distress.
"Hang on." Becker called, firing one more useless blast at the creature before turning and sprinting towards the cars. Once there, he opened the back door and leaned in, he pulled up the part of the seat you sit on to reveal a hidden stash of guns. Not EMDs. Guns. He pulled out as many as he could safely carry and ran back to the team in the warehouse.
"I thought I told you to get rid of those!" Matt shouted as he took one of the guns off Becker.
"Yeah, and look what would've happened if I'd actually listened to you for once." Becker bit back, still defensive of his guns.
"Always prepared, aren't you Soldier Boy?" Connor restrained a snort at his comment.
"Shut up Temple." Becker marched over to the creature with the rest of the teams, it wasn't until they'd gone that Connor realised he hadn't been given a gun.
"Hey, where's my gun?" Connor called racing after the team.
(2)
Jess was stomping round the ARC in a foul mood, her heels clacking loudly on the floor; a warning to other workers to steer clear. If they thought dinosaurs were bad, they had never seen Jess in a bad mood before. Becker, ever brave, or ever stupid, depending on which way you looked at it, marched up to Jess and tried to start conversation. 'Tried' being the key word.
"Hey Jess."
Jess just grumbled and continued walking; Becker matched his strides to hers and walked with her.
"Any reason you're in a strop." Becker said conversationally.
"I'm not in a strop." Jess said forcefully and clearly in as strop. Becker ignored her obvious denial and slipped a large bar of chocolate out of one of his pockets.
"Chocolate's not going to work." Becker just raised an eyebrow. By now they'd reached the labs and Connor and Abby had stuck their heads out of Connor's lab to see what was going on. Becker took one large stride ahead of her and then turned to face her, successfully stopping her in her tracks. Before she could object he opened the bar and snapped a large chunk off, he waved the piece in front of her face tantalisingly.
"I'm not eating it." Becker just held the piece in front of her face. "Fine." She snapped after about a minute, she grabbed the piece out of his hands and shoved it in her mouth, raising her eyebrows sardonically. Becker repeatedly broke off pieces and held them in front of her face until she'd eat them, this bizarre routine continued until the bar was gone. And by the time it was gone Jess was in a slightly better mood, if not for the food itself then definitely for the fact that Becker had melted chocolate all over his hands.
Connor and Abby were laughing at Becker's face when he himself realised this fact. He was stood there with an incredibly confused look on his face, holding his hand awkwardly in front of him. Jess was too giggling at his face. This reaction from the previously sour mooded co-ordinator prompted Connor to turn to Becker and say:
"Armed with chocolate, Captain? Devious plan. You're always prepared, aren't you?" Becker gave Connor a confused look. That was the second time today the scientist had said this to him.
(3)
"Look, I need you all to catch up on your paperwork." Lester stated to the Alpha team, all of which were currently sat in his office. He was looking at Connor and Matt in particular, now that Matt didn't have the weight of the World resting on him to keep his job he had become more lax on things like paperwork. And Connor... well, Connor had never really bothered in the first place. Lester knew that after Convergence the team needed a slight break but it had been nearing three months since it happened now and he really needed the mission reports from the Convergence filed.
"I have completed mine and handed them into Jess." Emily said.
"I've already filed them." Jess said before Lester even asked.
"I've been busy with sorting the new arrivals in the menagerie from Convergence but I can get the reports done in the next two weeks," Abby promised. Lester nodded his head. Connor just groaned and asked if he had to, to which Lester said he did and Abby promised Lester she'd make him do them. Emily also said she would pester Matt until he did his.
"I've just sent mine to Jess. I had a feeling you'd want them in." Becker said.
Connor snorted. "Always prepared, aren't you Action Man?"
"Why do you keep saying I'm 'always prepared'?" Becker asked "That's the third time today you've said it."
Connor stared at Becker in shock. "Didn't I tell you?" Becker shook his head. "It's the Anniversary for the Boy Scouts today."
"What makes you think I was a Boy Scout?" Becker scoffed.
"Were you?" Connor asked.
Becker pursed his lips "That's beside the point."
February 13th
Hello Martha and Alan!
Connor strode into the Main Ops room with a boyish grin on his face. It was said grin that had all the techs looking wearily from Connor to his destination; which just so happened to be the ADD where Jess and Becker were. Abby ran in after Connor, repeatedly saying his name in a warning tone. This, beyond all other things, worried the techs the most.
"Hello Martha," Connor grinned impishly at Becker, and then turned to Jess and smiled "How are you, Alan?" Becker gave Jess a questioning look, to which she shrugged. He then directed the look towards Abby who said:
"I don't know what's wrong with him; he's been calling me Reginald since I got up."
"It's Get a Different Name Day!" Connor cheered "For all those people who hate their name, today they're allowed to change it to whatever they want!"
"Why haven't I heard about this day before?" Becker murmured to Jess, who giggled. She knew Becker hated his first name and to this day doesn't know what his mum was thinking when she named him.
"Then why are you giving us names, surely we get to pick our own?" Abby asked.
"Course you do, Reginald!" Connor winked at Abby.
"I don't want to be called Martha." Becker said "I want to be called..." If he got to swap out his name for a day it was going to be good.
"Harold? Harvey? Henry? Harry?" Connor questioned "Remember it can't actually be your name. Haig? Hayden? Harris?" Jess quickly cottoned on to what Connor was trying to do and she started laughing.
"What?" Becker asked.
"He's... he's trying to... figure o-out... your first name!" Jess wheezed out between laughs. "You'll never get it Connor!" After a few more minutes of laughing she finally calmed down enough to explain the situation to Becker "Your file lists you as Captain H. Becker. So Connor knows it begins with a 'H', he's just trying to narrow it down."
Becker glared at Connor, and then smirked "In that case I think I want to be called Wayne."
"That's not fair, Becker!"
"My name is Wayne."
February 14th
Don't you thrust wildly at me!
"What is he doing?" Jess asked. She and Becker were looking through the camera feeds and had spotted Connor stuffing something into someone's locker. Part of the reason the two were looking through the camera feeds was the fact it was Valentine's Day and Jess wanted to play matchmaker; she wanted to see who put cards in who's locker and Becker had just walked in on her, the only reason he stayed was so that if someone put something in Jess' locker he'd know who it was.
But right now they were watching Connor stuff something into someone's locker.
And it wasn't Abby's.
"Can you zoom in? We might be able to read the plaque." Jess did as he asked.
They both stopped dead as they read the little plaque on the locker that said 'H. Becker'. Jess burst out laughing but Becker stood there, gobsmacked. What would Connor be putting in his locker? On Valentine's Day of all days.
"What's he putting in?" Becker asked.
"I don't know but I'm going to find out." Jess span in her chair and ran for the locker rooms, Becker on her heels. They slowed down as they neared the locker room. Jess casually walked in and saw Connor sat at the foot of his own locker fiddling with some wires that were sticking dangerously out of the back of some mangled piece of plastic.
Jess, trying to be inconspicuous, walked over and opened her locker. Just then Becker entered. He too walked over to his own locker and opened it. Unlike Jess' however, when Becker opened his masses of something poured out, it wasn't until Jess looked closer that she realised she was staring at about a hundred condoms. She blushed and looked away. She'd turned her head away from the pile of condoms at Becker's feet straight into the laughing face of Connor.
Who jumped up and cheered "Happy Condom Day!" Becker just stared incredulously at the scientist. And stared. And stared. Until finally...
"What the hell, Connor!" Connor's smile faltered slightly at the anger in Becker's voice.
"Well, I thought..." his grin returned "I thought you and Jess might need them for tonight, you know..." he put his hands on an invisible waist in front of him and started thrusting wildly. He then ducked out of the room quickly before Becker could punch him.
"You still need to get Abby a Valentine's Day present!" Becker called after the man. A loud 'bugger' could be heard several corridors away.
"So..." Jess said awkwardly, trying to look anywhere but Becker and the large pile of condoms. It was easier said than done. Then she noticed a box of chocolates on the floor, she bent down, brushed a stray condom of the lid and picked it up. "Why did Connor give you chocolates?" They had clearly fallen out of Becker's locker with the condoms, but why was it there in the first place?
Becker coughed. "Connor didn't get me those. I got them." He looked down at his shoes and then up towards Jess "For you." He rushed his next words "I mean, I was going to give you them in a slightly different way but, when have our lives ever been normal?" Jess giggled. She looked around, they were in the locker rooms, both blushing, she was holding a box of chocolate and he was surrounded by condoms. Definitely not normal.
"Thank you. And Happy Valentine's Day, Becker."
"Happy Valentine's Day, Jess."
February 22nd
I am going to give up...
"So, what's everyone giving up?" Emily asked. Connor had explained to her and Matt about lent and the fact that, yes, it was a Christian tradition and, no, he wasn't a Christian but it was tradition in his house to give something up anyway. And since Abby was his fiancée and Jess lived with them, they had both agreed to give something up. Jess had managed to talk Becker into it and Connor had persuaded Matt and Emily. Lester had refused to participate. It had now just turned 12 and the team were now discussing what they were going to give up.
"I think Jess should give up chocolate." Becker said casually.
"Only if you give up guns!" Jess replied.
Abby rolled her eyes. The two still refused to acknowledge their liking for the other, despite Becker having bought her chocolates on Valentine's Day.
"Well, I'm giving up destroying the World." Connor said.
"You can't, that was your New Year's resolution." Matt pointed out.
"I think Connor should give up with these Daily Celebrations."
"No!" Connor yelled.
"How about," Abby intervened "You give up eating Nutella from the pot. I found another empty pot in the bin." She gave him her best stern look.
"Fine." Connor sulked, and then muttered "Only if Action Man gives up being in denial about fancying Jess." Becker heard him anyway and threw a pillow at him.
"I'm going to give up procrastinating on my paper work." Matt sighed. "It's only for forty days." He told himself.
"I am going to give up eating meat. Abby was telling me about being a vegetarian and I want to try it." Emily said, and then looked towards Abby.
"I am going to give up trying to persuade Lester to let me have Rex back at the flat. Besides, as Matt said, it's only for forty days. It'll lull him into a false sense of security." She grinned evilly. "Jess?"
"I am going to give up," Jess took a deep breath, as if reading herself "buying shoes."
It was silent for a moment; before Becker put the back of his hand on Jess' forehead "Quick!" he called "Get me her epi-pen!"
"Ha, ha, ha." Jess laughed sarcastically, swatting his hand from her forehead. "I'm serious; I'm going to do it."
Becker eyed her speculatively "Okay, I'll give up my guns, and won't go down to the shooting range at all. And if you go forty days without buying a single pair of shoes, at the end I will buy you whichever pair you want." Jess squealed and hugged him.
"Deal!" she agreed.
"Um, Becker? How are you going to use the EMDs, if you're not allowed to use guns?" Connor questioned.
Becker scoffed "They aren't guns. They're pea shooters."
"Everyone have their thing they are giving up sorted?" Emily asked. Everyone agreed. "Good luck." She smiled.
Jess groaned. "It's going to be a long forty days."
February 29th
Take a leap!
"You have to take a leap!"
"Pardon?" Abby asked.
"You have to take a leap. Do something you probably wouldn't have done otherwise." Connor repeated. The team were sat in the break room listening to Connor try and explain what you were meant to do on a leap day. "That's the rule. Because the day only comes around once every four years, you're meant to take a leap when it does come round!"
(1)
"Matt." Emily said hesitantly.
"Yes?" he replied.
"I am, as Connor said, taking a leap."
"Oh?"
"Yes," she shifted nervously "Jess said it was alright for women in this time to ask, so I wanted to know if it would be possible to move back in with you as I am still currently residing in the guest rooms at the ARC." Matt looked at her nervous form and had to work to keep the smile from appearing on his face.
Matt walked up to her slowly and engulfed her in a hug; he kissed her on the forehead, then her nose and then finally her lips. He grinned. "I'd love for you to move back in." Emily sighed in relief.
"It's funny," Matt said "I was going to take a leap and ask you."
(2)
Abby had been sitting at her desk when Connor had walked in; she looked up from filling out her reports to her fiancé's visibly sweating face. She frowned.
"What's the matter, Con?"
Connor cleared his throat. "I'm taking my own advice. I'm taking a leap." He dropped to one knee. "Abby, there hasn't been a time since I met you that I didn't love you. I love everything about you; from your fierce determination and loyalty to the fact you love all animals and creatures, even if they are trying to eat you. And I know I haven't always been there for you," both their minds went back to the New Dawn incident "but I promise to always be there for you and I think the obstacles in our past have made us stronger as a couple. I know we're already technically engaged but I wanted to do something the right way as the rest of our lives seems to be backwards. Abby Maitland, will you marry me?" Abby had no idea why he looked so nervous, they were already engaged.
"Of course I will, you daft twat. I already proposed remember?" Abby said as she jumped up from her desk and ran into Connor's arms.
They kissed long and hard, only pulling back for much need oxygen.
"Out of all your holidays, I like this one the best." Abby smiled before pulling Connor back into another kiss. Not that he minded.
(3)
Becker looked from the clock to the door. If he left now he'd just catch Jess in time to tell her. It was seven o'clock now so she should be getting ready to leave. If he ran he could still catch her. Becker stood up. Today was the day for taking leaps after all. Becker sprinted through the ARC, his heart pounding in time to the heavy beat of his combat boots.
He rounded the corner and ran into Jess. Literally. His momentum was greater than hers, and so was his mass. So according to physics...
"Oof!" Jess huffed as she landed on the floor with Becker landing on top of her, all the air from her lungs rushed outwards. According to physics, Becker had pretty much run her over.
"Oh God, Jess, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to knock you down. I was actually just looking for you."
"Here I am!" Jess said jokingly. Neither of them had moved; Becker had, however, lifted his weight onto his arms to avoid completely crushing her.
"I was thinking about what Connor said. Taking a leap and all that."
"Yes?" Jess asked, trying not to get her hopes up too high.
"Would you- er," Becker looked at Jess underneath him, staring up at him with her big doe eyes and pouty lips, his resolve strengthened, "Would you like to go out to dinner with me, on a date?"
Jess beamed "I'd love to. But, if you don't mind, I'd like to take a leap of my own."
"Oh?" Becker furrowed his eyebrows.
"Yeah." Jess leaned forward and pressed her lips to his.
Sorry this is being posted so late on in the day, I've had so much stuff going on, I only just got it proof read, like, ten minutes before I posted this. Hope you enjoy!
E is for Idiot x
