Home for the Holidays

"Am not!"

"Are too."

"I am not!"

"You are two!"

"I am not whipped!"

"Yes you are," Dani said, grinning at Santana. She leaned over to kiss her oldest girlfriend. "You went vegan for her…."

"So did you."

"Okay, fair point. But I cheat when I'm not at home. You don't. And you bring home extra chocolate whenever she has a bad day. You cleaned the entire apartment when she complained that you hadn't made the bed all week. And you're all tired and grumpy right now because you went back on your solemn vow to never fuck with the crazies on Black Friday. How early did she get you up?" Dani asked, handing Santana a mug of hot chocolate.

"Eurgh… four a.m. How did you get out of it?"

"I told her there was no way in hell I was going," Dani said simply. She sat back down next to Santana. "So how was it?"

Santana just groaned.


"San? Baby? It's time to get up," Rachel whispered.

"Ejfeiwofmdkgjijgflkjfdkfumbbble."

"Baby, wake up. We need to get going."

"Do we have to?" Santana mumbled, trying to pull Rachel back into bed.

"Yes, and stop that. You'll wake Dani up."

"Why does Dani get to sleep in?"

"Stop whining. She's got other things to do today. Come on."

Santana struggled into a half raised position, kissed Dani on the cheek, and rolled out of bed. She wasn't in the mood for this, so she didn't bother showering or anything. She threw on sweats and a hoodie, and made her way out to the living room.

Rachel was waiting there with a thermos and a grin. "Okay, first stop is Best Buy."


"Speaking of…what did you have to do today?" Santana asked.

"There was a Criminal Minds marathon," Dani said airily. "Keep going. What happened?"

"We were way at the back of the line. These crazy motherfuckers camped out – camped out, Dani – so when they opened the door, we were behind the initial rush. But Rachel's nothing if not prepared."


"Right, don't look anyone in the eye," Rachel said, taking Santana's hand and leading her through the chaos.

Santana stared in horror as three fights broke out over a TV. "Oh my god…Rachel," she whispered, pulling the girl closer to her. She dodged an errant elbow. "These people are crazy!"

"Yes, which is why I stressed against eye contact. Come on, all we need is Game of Thrones for Dani."

"What? That's not even a Christmas present! She wants to watch it tonight!"

"Come on, Santana."

The DVD aisle was even worse. Rachel got a look of absolute determination, and turned to Santana.

"You keep a lookout."

"Wait, Rachel! Don't go!"

"I have to, Santana."


"Was this a shopping trip or a war movie?"

"Do you want to hear this story or not?"


Rachel dove into the mass of people. Her height actually worked in her favor this time, and she was able to duck under some people. She grabbed the last copy of Game of Thrones season two and stuffing it under her shirt. She took it back out once she was back next to Santana. "Got it!" she said triumphantly. "We'll get a couple of iTunes gift cards at the register."

When they got in line, they saw paramedics tending to the five fighters, and a broken TV sitting off to the side.

"This is just ridiculous," Santana said. "Shopping shouldn't require first aid. Where are we going after this?"

"Old Navy, and then Target. And possibly Barnes and Noble."

Santana sighed and nodded.

"Okay, that wasn't too bad," Dani said.

"It got worse. Much worse."

Santana growled as a women twice their age snatched a sweater out of Rachel's hands. "Bitch, you best step to the left. She had that – act your damn age!"

"Finders keepers!" the lady said, trying to turn away.

Santana grabbed her arm and whispered in her ear. "I'm an MMA fighter – those people you see scrapping on TV? Nothing compared to what I can do. Give that back to my girlfriend, now."

The lady went pale, but gave Santana a defiant glare. She tossed the sweater back at Rachel. "Fine…take it, dyke."

Rachel automatically grabbed Santana to stop her slugging the woman. "Easy. Let's just go."


"What a bitch," Dani said, tucking into a slice of leftover apple pie.

"Preach. So we got all the clothes she wanted. Target was actually relatively normal, except for when I slipped on a skateboard someone's idiot fuck-trophy left out. Rachel got the toy submarine she wanted for her cousin, and managed to get Skyrim for her dad. It was a quick trip. Barnes and Noble, though…."


"OW!"

"Rachel? Are you okay?"

"Someone pulled my hair!"

Santana threw a few elbows and made it to Rachel.

"Do you see Feast for Crows?"

"I have no flippin' clue what –"

"OW!"

Santana whipped around and got in the man's face. "You got a problem?"

"I'm just trying to get by –"

"Why do you need to pull her hair to do that? Touch her again, and I'll –"

"Got it!" Rachel hollered, holding it up.

Santana led the way back to the main aisle. They were almost to the front of the store when a box came flying out of nowhere and hit her square in the head.

"Santana!" Rachel squealed. "Did someone just assault you with a Nook?"

"I'm fine…."

"You're bleeding!"


"Well, that explains the festive band aid."

"It was a fight over the last one and it flew out of one guys hand when another guy hit him with the hard cover, illustrated edition of the Chronicles of Narnia."

"Like I said, whipped," Dani said, grinning.

"Well, she promised to make it up to me after her nap," Santana said wink.