Captain Hannah Shepard, Mindoir

Hannah sat straight up. Her hands rested lightly on the knees of her dress uniform. She carefully kept her face impassive, expressionless. She was placed on the center end of one of the two rows of chairs aligned along the back of the podium being used for the speeches. Her particular row was to the left of the podium itself.

Almost in contrast to Hannah's suppressed nature, her human daughter sat tensely. Like a cornered animal. Hannah noted the flex of her daughter's jaw. How Jane's fingers dug into the fabric of the pants of her dress uniform. The anger radiated off Jane in waves.

And to be honest, Hannah also felt the pain and rage. She wanted to scream and beat on the nearest object. But she couldn't. John would want her calm, if only for the family.

With that thought, Hannah's eyes moved to the front row of seats that filled the central square of the Mindior township. Her eyes looked into her husband's eyes. The asari's golden eyes held their own pain as Hestalia clutched Kelly, to her side as the girl sobbed uncontrollably.

Hannah blinked hard, willing her own tears away before opening them again. In the back of the crowd, leaning against one of the stone archways that led into the square stood the massive form of a krogan.

Wrex had been a member of the Normandy's ground crew. Hannah had heard that he and her son had gotten close. True battle brothers. And the fact that he was even here, at a human memorial, spoke volumes for the respect Wrex must have felt for John. Wrex's reptilian eyes met her's as he nodded slightly, a gesture Hannah returned before her eyes shifted again.

To one of the farther sides sat a turian. Garrus. From the way John had written about him, Garrus had quickly become his best friend. John described him as having almost as fast a comeback as Jane did, as well as being the best marksman he had ever seen. And John had never been one to exaggerate.

Garrus had his arm around a quarian girl, who must have been Tali'Zorah nar Rayya. The girl's purple realk held the swirling patterns of the Zorah clan, just as Hannah remembered. John had spoken about the girl at exhaustive length. She was an amazing engineer, a good friend, funny and strong. Now, however, she shook in violent sobs, her helmet pressed against Garrus's chest.

As her eyes scanned the crowd, Hannah noted the rest of the surviving members of the Normandy's crew. They all sat with various levels of mourning. Some cried, while some sat stoically.

Doctor Karin Chakwas had been a friend of Hannah's from their first posting together. She had helped Hannah keep her shit together when she had gotten pregnant. Now she sat nearly as impassive as Hannah did, herself. Except for the red eyes that showed how she cried when she was alone.

But it was Jeff Moreau, the ship's pilot, that she finally settled on. John had told her that his moniker had been 'Joker', and that he had really liked the man. Moreau was strong, even with his bone issues. And that Moreau was the best pilot in the fleet.

Now Moreau sat staring at the ground with vacant eyes. His face was slack, his eyes, red. He was unshaven and unkempt. His dress uniform was ill fitting and wrinkled.

He was a broken, hollow man.

But then it was her turn. Slowly, Hannah stood, smoothing out her uniform as she approached the podium. Once more her eyes met with those of John's crew.

Just as Hannah prepared to make her speech, she noticed him. In the back, she saw the tall broad man. His once blonde hair, now silver, the left side of his face deeply scarred. His eyes held a pain she had not expected he could hold. Not after what had happened in the past.. She had hated him, once. Now, however, they shared a pain no parent should have to endure. No parent should outlive their children.


Jane Shepard, Mindoir

Absently, Jane chewed at her thumbnail while she stared blankly out over the crowd. Her right arm crossed her chest, supporting her left arm, as she bit off pieces of her already rough nail.

John would yell at me, Jane thought to herself. He always yelled at me when I chewed my nails. Now I can chew them all I want…

The thought brought a fresh wave of anger. With a nearly silent snarl, Jane bit down again, but this time tasted blood. Pulling back her hand Jane glanced down at her thumb and sighed. Wonderful, Jane berated herself. John is gone just over a week and you can't even keep yourself from devouring yourself.

Closing her eyes for a moment, Jane fought to center herself, the way Hestalia taught her. The way Hestalia had taught both of them… Stop. You'll just get yourself worked up more, and right now you need to keep your shit together. Kelly needs you. Be a bitch later.

Thinking of her sister, Jane looked down to where Kelly sat with Hestalia, crying her eyes out. The girl always idolized John. She kept saying how she was going to be a marine like him. It had always kinda pissed Jane off, the way Kelly clung to John. She always had that little spark of jealousy.

Then her mother stepped in front of her. Startled, Jane looked up at the older woman, her eyes widening slightly. "It's over?" Jane asked as she began to glance around, seeing the dignitaries on the stage all standing and moving toward the covered memorial that had been placed for John.

"Yes, Jane," her mother smirked slightly, but Jane could see the exhaustion under it. The woman had to have been made of solid steel. She never cried in front of them, hell, she barely looked sad. "The speeches are over. All that is left it to unveil that goddess awful statue."

With a grimace, Jane stood and slowly walked to where the small group stood near the base of the thing. She hadn't seen it herself, but from what her father had told her, it would have been a hard time being worse.

"Ma," Jane began as she nudged the older woman. "You know you don't have to do it like this."

"Yes, I think I do," Hannah sighed as she watched the mayor say something about honor and sacrifice. "I am too old now to change how I am. I will grieve to myself."

"You are human, mom," Jane said. "We're family. He would want us to- WHAT THE FUCK!?"

Before Jane could finish her sentence, the mayor had pulled a rope, loosening, then pulling down the canvas cover that was over the worst, most tasteless statue Jane had ever seen.

The horrifying monstrosity stood around twelve feet tall and seemed to be made of some overly shiny...chrome? If chrome was a gold color, anyway. But then it got worse. It looked...sort of like John. At least, if John had a cleft chin and some sort of shitty super hero grin.

The body was covered in the type of armor you would see on a children's early morning cartoon show, all odd lines, overly large shoulder pads and some sort of utility belt looking thing around it's waist.

However, the worst part was probably the pose. The body of the thing stood straight and tall, its chest slightly pushed out, while its arms were cocked with its elbows out, its fists resting against its hips.

With a flourish, the mayor spun around, a huge self satisfied grin on his face as a small sporadic golf clap came from various parts of the crowd.

The fucker actually thinks it's a good statue….Jane shook her head as the thoughts ran through her mind. She was so stunned by the horror, that she barely felt anger at the man.

"Well…" Jane was finally able to mutter. "That right there. That's a thing."


Jeff 'Joker' Moreau, Mindoir

Joker stood in front of Captains Hannah and Jane Shepard, John's sister Kelly, and even his stepfather, the Asari, Hestalia. He looked at their feet. He could not bring himself to look at their faces. "I…" he didn't even know how to start. He could hear Kelly sniffing still, trying to hold back her sobbing.

He closed his eyes as he swallowed. Man up, Jeff. You owe it to them, after what you did… "I wanted to say how much I regret...no...I..I am sorry. He died because of me…" Tears began to form in his own eyes.

A hand dropped on his shoulder. The grip was firm. He slowly looked up and met Hannah Shepard's eyes. He could see the grief and pain, but she held it under an steel will. "It is not your fault Mr. Moreau. I read the reports. You did nothing wrong."

Somehow that stabbed Joker harder than if she had screamed at him. He would rather she struck him. "It's because I wouldn't leave the cockpit, I was too stubborn...Maybe...maybe if I had normal bones, I could have done it on my own...I…"

A blue flash next to them caught them all by surprise, Hannah pulling back as they all looked at Kelly. Her blue energy field was powerful and bright. And the expression on her face was rage, sorrow and grief.

"IT'S YOUR FAULT! YOU KILLED HIM! YOU KILLED MY BROTHER!" She screamed the words at him, the same ones he had told himself, every hour of every day. He watches she reared back her fist, an unstoppable strike that he deserved. He owed to the girl. He closed his eye, waiting for it.

But it didn't come. Instead something hit him in the stomach, wrapped around his chest and sobbed.

Opening his eyes he looked down at the girl, holding him and crying against him. "I'm sorry..I'm sorry..I'm sorry…" she kept coughing and crying. Choking out the words.

Joker looked up at Hannah, and Jane, then finally Hestalia. They all had tears in their eyes, and wore their grief openly, but they just nodded at him. "None of it is your fault Joker," Jane said, wiping a tear from her own eye. "It is just a thing that happened."

"We will hold on to what he told us. We will make the galaxy ready, whether they want it or not," Hestalia added. A look of determination on her face. Joker pitied anyone or anything that tried to stop her.

He looked back down at Kelly, crying against him and gently put his arms around her shoulder and hugged her back.

"I didn't mean it...I didn't...I'm sorry…" she kept saying.

"I know," Joker said. His own tears finally falling. "I know."


Tali'Zorah Nar Rayya, Mindoir

It was when the cover fell. It was when she saw the statue. The horrible, disgusting statue. Tali could feel the bile rising in the back of her throat even as she turned away. Even as she pushed her way through the crowd. She barely heard the mutters and curses about her and her people, and she didn't register them when she did. She had to leave. She had to. She couldn't bring herself to talk to Jane, or the rest of Shepard's family. It hurt too much. Keelah, why does it hurt so much!

It felt like Tali hadn't stopped crying since the attack. Her only respite seemed to come when she cried herself unconscious. But even there, even in her dreams, she heard Shepard's last breaths. They rang in her ears, always ripping her apart.

Finally, Tali managed to push her way out of the crowd, and through one of the archways that separated the town square from the rest of the small town. She stumbled a little further before collapsing on a patch of thick grass by the side of the road, near what looked like a small stream. And she cried. She cried harder than she had before.

She had loved him. She had loved him harder than anything she had ever felt, she used her entire soul to love him. But...she never told him. She was terrified of how he might react. He might have laughed at her. He might have yelled, or mocked her. Or worse. He might have been indifferent. But now….now she would never know.

Turning, Tali pushed herself onto her hands and knees as she gasped, trying to bring her breathing under control. Closing her eyes she began to focus on her heart. It was a something Shepard had taught her.

"When you're scared, or angry or distracted, that kind of stuff, just look at your heart," Shepard had told her. He grinned at her sheepishly as his hand rubbed the back of his neck. "It sounds weird, I know, but trust me. When I was a kid, and trying to control my biotics, my stepfather tried to teach me asari techniques. But being human, they didn't work as well as they could have." John shrugged at her, still smiling. "Asari have you focus on your lungs when you breathe. Like, when you take deep breaths and stuff. But it didn't really work for me, so, instead I just focused on my heartbeat."

"But...why didn't she just have you do that to begin with?" Tali had asked.

"That's where it gets interesting!" Shepard's grin had turned sly and childish, like he was letting her in on a great secret. The idea sent a shiver of joy down her spine at the time. "Asari can't feel their own heart beat. Not in their own chest without something like a stethoscope. Isn't that weird?"

They had shared a laugh then. It was one of Tali's most treasured memories. Now it helped her pull herself together, as she sat back on her heels and slowed her breath, listening to her heart as she tried to will it to calm itself.

"You alright?" a gravelly male voice asked from behind her, making her jump slightly. She had been so distracted she hadn't heard the crunch of gravel under his feet as he had approached.

Tali's helmeted head whipped around to stare at the human man. He was tall and broad, much like Shepard. His hair was mostly steel grey with hints of the lighter blonde it probably once was. It was cropped short and slicked back above his scarred face. Large deep scars ran down the left side of the man's face, through what was now a white cybernetic eye implant. His clothes were a sort of suit, similar to the ones the other humans at the memorial service wore, except this one was old, wrinkled and ill fitted. The thrifty part of her quarian mind approved.

"Ah, sorry lass, didn't mean to scare ya," the man rubbed at the back of his neck as he gave her an embarrassed look. "I saw you run out, thought I would make sure you were okay."

Tali's eyes lowered for a moment before she nodded and pushed herself to her feet. "I'm...not...okay. Not at all…"

The man didn't mock her, nor did he give her any hollow words of sympathy. "Yeah. These things are always the shits. Especially when some dumb fuck gets the idea of a statue in his head. Always goes badly."

With a short laugh, Tali shook her head as she dusted off her knees. "Totally. That looked nothing like him."

"Heh, yeah. That thing looks like a pile of cold shit," the man nodded as he pulled a flask from his pocket and took a swig. "I'd offer you a go, but it ain't dextro."

Tali waved a hand as she nodded. "I appreciate the gesture," she said as she looked at the man. "I am surprised you cared enough to follow me out here."

"Bah," the man shook his head. "Nah, never gave a fuck about that species bull shit. I've seen too much of the dark arse end of every species to think any of 'em are better than any other."

"Yeah….He said something similar…" Tali trailed off as memories rolled through her mind.

Suddenly, Tali's eyes snapped wide as she looked up at the man. "I-I mean...that he didn't care! Er, you know..about the species thing. Not that he had looked at them in the anus or any...oh...Keelah…" Tali dropped her helmet into her hands, glad that he couldn't see how embarrassed she was.

After a moment the man chuckled softly, luring Tali to look up at him as he grinned, a surprisingly boyish look on his old, grizzled face. "He got that from his mother. He and Jane both. She taught both of 'em right and wrong. The asari...what's 'er name…" he paused thinking a moment, taking another drink from his flask. "Ah! Right! Hestalia! Yeah, they did right by the kids. Johnny more than his sister though."

"More than his sister?" Tali asked curiously. Even now, with the pain in her heart, she desperately wanted to know more about Shepard.

"He cared about people. Didn't matter to 'im what they were. Asari, turian, quarian," the man said, gesturing to Tali with his flask. "That's what made him better than everybody else. It was the kind of thing you hold onto, makes you want to keep trying to be better."

"I…" Tali hesitated for a moment before nodding. "Yes. I know what you mean. Even if he is gone now. I can still try to do what he would want. I'll be better. I'll try to be like him."

With a nod of his head the man smiled and slowly walked away from her, down the road that led into town. "You do that miss, you do just that. Me, though? I'm gonna get myself drunk enough that I won't be able to find my own dick when I have to piss."

Tali's hands slapped over her helmet's indicator light as her eyes widened as far as they could go in shock. She had never heard anybody talk like that. Ever. And she had been a friend with a krogan.

But then...then Tali realized she wasn't crying. The pain was still there, in the back of her mind, ready to leap out if she let her guard down. She knew there would be more tears, more crying. But right now, in this moment, she thought about how she could live up to the example he had set. It was all she had left of her love. And it would never be enough.


Quarian Lexicon

Realk: Cloth covering used by the quarians. It is used to describe not just the hood seen on most but any material adornment.