Thank you for those who are willing to give this a story a chance, I love you!

First chapter dedicated to my lovely beta reader, Miyuusen!

beta reader: Miyuusen

The disclaimer still applies.

edited: 12/29/2013, 1/12/2014


"Imouto, what are you doing?"

I squeaked in surprise and turned to face my brother, who was silently approaching me. How long had he been there?

"N-n-nii-san!" I tried desperately to hide them behind my back because if he finds out- no, even the scene of how that will play out didn't seem nice at all.

He raised an eyebrow and asked again, "What are you doing?"

"N-nothing." Why did I have to stutter?

He was in front of me now and he was quiet, as always, and stared at me while I fidgeted under his gaze. Suddenly, he placed his hand on top of my messy, dark brown hair and looked straight into my eyes.

"You are a horrible liar." He smirked.

"S-shaddup." My cheeks were terribly red.


chapter 1

equilibrium


Sana knew that she could only trust the woman who bore her and the boy who was supposedly her sibling.

Maybe it was selfish to think that 'I should not be treated like an anomaly, because I'm just a child. I did nothing wrong' because she had never been 'normal' in the first place (reincarnated soul, sealed monster, what else?). At least, she had her family with her, isn't that right? She couldn't be selfish.

She was even given another chance.

That was a good reason enough to stop picturing herself as whom she will never be.

(Friendly gazes, no disgust, no fear, no-)

Though sometimes, she would just imagine, just for a moment, that she was that child shopping across the street who received no bitter stares with an extra apple to keep.

There was a sting somewhere in her chest but she squashed the feeling before it could develop into something more than 'just a sting'.


Sasori was a terribly adorable child.

When he looked at her with those eyes and blinked, she had stop herself from squealing or doing other 'fangirling' actions. (She admits he was very pretty for a boy child).

She would try to stick with her brother of hers by any means possible. When he came home from his errands, she would crawl (later walk) up to him, hug his leg and proclaim a loud 'Nii-chan!', earning a huge smile from him which will never fail to warm her heart. He didn't really seem to mind that she was quite a clingy little child, maybe because he liked the human contact as much as she did.

This 'clingy' behaviour of hers was, perhaps, largely because she found out that there was a war going on.

("Ah, if only I could stay and take care of you both but this blasted war- oh. Never mind, children.")

Their mother would disappear for days and sometimes, months, for her missions (or it could be interpreted as 'fighting with her life on the line for some stupid war'). She was never happy about these missions (those what ifs on her mind were bugging her) and sometimes, Sasori would share his worries about their mother with her but then he would remember who he is, an older brother, and he would stop. The first time he had done so, she realized that Sasori, a four year old, was trying to be strong for their sake, even though he knew that she didn't understand (she understood most of the things he had said), he stopped anyway. He would dismiss his thoughts and go back to playing with her or studying in her room because he knows.

She was utterly struck by how mature he is, even though he is just a four year old.

And what would those children at the same age do? Perhaps cry and play without a care in the world, like what innocent children usually do.

Maybe, her mother had said something about it or just because it's Sasori (albeit a little one, still) but she couldn't stop thinking, worrying, wondering every time Sasori would say 'Mother is strong, it's okay', as if trying to reassure her as much as himself, that this world is such a terrible, cruel and twisted place.

Forcing children to war, really?

No, really?

It was still a foreign concept to her but she tried to smooth out her disgust and disbelief. This wasn't her world anymore, after all. What could she do anyway? Lecture the people who had been running this whole country for ages about how fighting was bad and cruel and not right?

With that conclusion, she left her thinking behind and pushed the concept of violence, ninjas and war into the deepest pits of her mind.

She wanted to enjoy her brief, fleeting, ephemeral childhood and she knew that it was a selfish thought. After all, who doesn't want to enjoy their childhood? But truly, she just couldn't care less.

So she tightened her hold on his hand while he read her a story book and if he noticed, didn't say a word.


"Sasori is a good, obedient child and Sana is the same. They are quiet and understands instructions easily enough."

"Hm, is that so? I may have to take a look."

"Sasori… Are you intending on teaching him puppetry?"

There was a mischievous glint in her eyes as she answered, "Perhaps."

"Then, then- Sana?"

"About that," there was a sigh, "we are not sure as well. If and if she is able to control it, we can ask of your opinions on this."

"If not?"

"Expect the worse."


She didn't trust Chiyo.

She recalled, with effort, that she had lied to Sasori about his parents' death (not this time, she hoped).

However, she understood as she herself would've probably done the same, sparing the boy from grief and torture of the thought of not being able to see his parents ever again and instead lying, lying, lying until he could bear the truth.

This distrust of hers was because Chiyo had been able to lie to her grandchild to cover up the harsh truth of the world out there. Did that mean her distrust was caused by familial love? Most likely. Though, she decided that it may be too early to decide on her character. She could've changed or she may be different, right?

There was no harm in being more wary, of course.

Their grandmother was a respected kunoichi who was participating in the current war but occasionally, she would come back to the village to rest for several days then, head out again.

Resting, sometimes, meant visiting her 'lovely' grandchildren.

(There was a flash of something when the woman laid her eyes on her but it was gone the moment it appeared. She may have imagined it but now, she was able to be wary around her own grandmother without guilt).

Chiyo-obaa-san would do a better job in taking care of them, of course, than those women who looked ready to flee if she were to just to twitch. The old woman was not particularly affectionate but she didn't fear her (visibly) so Sana supposed she was fond enough of the woman especially when she started showing how puppets work to entertain the both of them. Sasori was clearly amazed by puppetry and when grandmother had offered to teach him, he looked ecstatic, like a child receiving a toy he had long wanted for Christmas instead of being promised lessons on how to operate a tool that could be used to slaughter people (she knew that was for later but still).

Oh well, she should be happy for him especially when he's beaming with excitement and an adorable smile was plastered on his face.

"Imouto, I promise I'll show you when I learn, okay?" He looked at her then and she decided to play along.

"Uh! Uh!" Sana nodded, clapped and gave several sounds of affirmation with the best of her abilities (her awkward body was still stiff). She felt slightly embarrassed, all this time, it felt as if she was trying to impersonate a baby which she knew she had failed in. But maybe not so badly, she thought when she saw Chiyo-obaa-san's soft smile and felt Sasori pat her head.

A week later (perhaps?), it was the first time Sasori showed the fruits of his hard work.

It was also the first time she actually saw chakra.

She had actually forgotten about chakra.

(She didn't feel any different, maybe a little warm, but it may just be just her baby temperature or something else right?)

While she was busy calling herself a foolishly foolish fool for forgetting that particularly important detail, especially when Chiyo showed them puppetry, Sasori grabbed his small, wooden practice puppet and attached his chakra strings to them.

She stopped mentally punching herself in the face and soon enough became strangely fixated on that blue… energy that took the form of thin threads that stuck to the wooden surface of the doll.

She couldn't help it but think magic.

Her mind went back to Chiyo's show of puppetry just last week and it seemed that she was able to create chakra strings so thin that the chakra itself was not visible? She thought of it again but was snapped out of her musings when she felt Sasori sitting right next to her.

After that, he moved his finger and the puppet twitched then stood. It then did various things like walking, sitting, dancing, twirling and she was so focused on the moving wooden figure that she was startled when Sasori talked.

"What do you think, imouto?" He looked proud of himself and she briefly thought about his progress. She had forgotten some things about the series but she could still roughly recollect things she had read on the internet (there was a tinge of home sickness there but magic), she pieced whatever she could and came to a somewhat shaky conclusion.

Wasn't his progress a little too fast?

Her older brother was still waiting for her answer, she realized, so she turned to the puppet once more, which was still standing, and then looked at his expectant eyes again.

She had to admit, that was pretty amazing.

"Nii-chan! Su-su-sug-" She stumbled over her words. Well, she was just a little older than one so she had an excuse.

He laughed (she couldn't resist and thought 'how cute') and gave her the wooden doll, smiling before patting her head. "Sugoi, imouto, su-go-i and thank you."

After that, they spent the rest of the day teaching new words to her and showing her his (soon to be discovered) prodigal puppetry skills.


Sana was aware that her old self was slowly slipping away.

She kept on repeating the plot and details of the manga over and over again that when she tried to remember the names of people she recognized in her 'previous' life, she couldn't remember most of them. There were several that she still remembered but even her parents' faces were quite blurry in her mind.

It was like as if she had started shedding the pieces of her last life to make space for this new one. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing as it was inevitable anyway but it didn't make it any less disturbing because she was generally forgetting everything and there was nothing to refresh the lost memory of her past life. She was slightly irritated by the fact that she couldn't do anything about it.

She hoped that at least her mind would still be with her and not to be replaced with a different one. What if her personality changes?

Would she even be herself if that happens?

Then, that would mean she would have to initiate her plan faster than she wanted.

But what would she do after? Even though there was a war going on, there may be a risk of a shinobi guarding her somewhere so if she would even try to write when she was not even taught how to yet especially in a different language, there was going to be a huge problem.

Suddenly, she gazed up from her wooden toy, walked up to Sasori and tugged on his shirt.

"Nii-chan, sleep."


"Ichibi-san?"

He opened his one eye and said nothing. He simply stared at her tiny form and compared to him, she felt like a pebble in the corner of the road somewhere. The only thing between them was the seal (it was almost transparent) keeping him in and that made her even more than nervous.

"Can we make deal?" she continued writing on the sand with her fingers with difficulty. She was tense because he could reject and then- then- everything could and most probably would come tumbling down.

He didn't say anything again so she took it as a chance to continue, even with her broken Japanese.

"We be friends and you can kill if you want, if accept. I let you."

It won't do good to her mind because killing was not a pleasant thought to her at all but it was the world of ninjas where killing is your line of work so she had to try and get used to it. She could- no, she had to go through it and she would be able to do it with her brother and mother with her. It's alright because it was expected of her and this world is different. She would be alright and-

There was a sudden snort and loud, malicious laugh followed.

She stopped writing on the sand and turned to Shukaku. His laugh was disconcerting and she found her apprehension building up inside of her.

"What makes you think you are so special, brat?" He rose up, completely towering over her and turned to face her. His face was twisted with crazed glee.

She found her stomach dropping.

She tried to speak because she was honestly bewildered by sudden change in attitude. What is happening?

"Wha-"

"Just because you are reincarnated you think yourself so special? Different? So what? You are still human, aren't you?" The malevolent aura surrounding him was spreading like poison and despite the seal, her breath hitched. It wasn't even killing intent. It's just his aura and it's starting to slowly suffocate her.

She was absolutely still and found that her mind was repeating the words over and over again.

Special? Different? Human? Doing this to be special? But-

"You think that by 'opening up' to me and spilling everything, I'll be your friend?" He scoffed. "Are you trying to control me by friendship? Hah! Offer it to that damn fox, maybe he'll agree."

He then continued as if not noticing her struggling to control her breathing. "Humans, they think they could control my powers by sealing me here? I control those humans, brat. I make them do what I want. When I say kill, they kill. And you," he sneered at her as if amused by the shock and fear on her face. "would probably end up the same. This seal wouldn't hold me for long, you'll see."

"I- I'm no like that- It's not li-like that-"

She was surprised that she could still speak with the heavy air pressing down on her, it was like she was going to drown and truly, worse than water could ever be.

"Oh, then what?" He paused, as if thinking but it was probably to prolong her suffering. "Ah, I see it's to 'protect' your loved ones, isn't it? As if I would care on what you want to protect. We bijuu are simply above you humans and you're talking to us as if we're equals just because you manage to seal us inside one of you? Pathetic."

She could hardly breathe anymore and her mind was not working properly and all she could think of was that she needed to breathe. She was desperate and she couldn't really hear what he said, everything was jumbled up at this point.

She did the last thing she thought possible.

She passed out.


Tried fluff. And who saw that Ace Attorney reference?

Alright, so she seems Mary Sue isn't she? But I'm trying to change the fact that being a jinchuriki doesn't mean it's easy as long as you forget about the hate and be positive (coughNarutocough) and that it's not Mary Sue if managed to do right. I do try and that's why I need input from readers? What do you think? OOC Shukaku, Sasori or any problems? Tell me.

Yes, I made Sasori her brother. What? He needs love.

Besides, I'm not going to make her life all flowers and rainbows. I just hope that you, my readers, would come to understand her more through my writing and I also hope that I won't disappoint you.

(The snippets before each chapter is some kind of preview on things that I would not be able to include or something. Funny, cute, angst, I'm throwing everything there.)

Also, thank you for the favourites and follows!

It's late but Merry Christmas!