Disclaimer: I don't Naruto or bacon. But I think this disclaimer might own me.
Chapter 1:
Wherein Another Person Narrates the Story
Nishimoto's POV:
"So why are we reading this?" Hago grumbled, referring to the scroll I'd convinced Oka-san to get for me. I could tell he was curious about it, but I don't think he wanted me to know that.
"Because you need to know ninjutsu or genjutsu if you're going to be a ninja!" He was really clueless about somethings. That's why had Oka-san get us a scroll that explains genjutsu, since you can't use ninjutsu while you're in my head! Even if I can't understand much of it, Hago seemed to get it. He always seems to understand things before I do. He says it's because he's older than me. But there are some things he just doesn't get.
"I can't use genjutsu from here either. If you were paying attention, you'd have noticed the part that mentions that some physical energy needs to be mixed into the techniques. Without that, the chakra won't form properly, and the technique won't be affect the target. And since when was I going to be a ninja anyways? That's your job, not mine."
"If you're going to live here, then you're going to be a ninja." It really wasn't that complicated. I don't why he has so much trouble understanding that. Oh, right, I guess I should tell you where "here" is, shouldn't I. We were talking in my head! Hago and I had been talking a lot since he introduced himself to me.
I think it was a little bit after I turned five. I was playing with Kun-kun, the new training puppet Oka-san had given me, when I heard someone talking to me.
"Jos, gie hie ao?"
"Kun-kun? Was that you?" I didn't actually think Kun-kun could talk, but there wasn't anyone else around.
"Hey, kid. I'm not the puppet. I'm-"
"You're not!" I was starting to get a little scared. What if it was an Iwa ninja had snuck into my room!? Oka-san had just left on a mission, and Oto-san wasn't even a ninja! What was I supposed to do!?
"Yeesh, calm down! I'm in your- just close your eyes or something and use your mind voice, not your mouth voice." I wasn't really sure but he didn't sound mean. So, I closed my eyes and then I was in a big white room. There wasn't anything in the room except for a man in white robe, with a wrinkly face, red hair, and a long thin beard.
"Who are you?" He didn't look like an Iwa ninja. Or any kind of ninja. When he just kept staring I decided to try thinking it at him. I think that's what he meant by my "mind voice."
"I am Hagoromo!" It worked!
"Who?"
"The Sage of Six Paths?"
"Who?"
"The inventor of ninjutsu?"
"Wha?"
"Ah ha ha, I see what's happening here. You're face to face with greatness and it's strange. You don't even know how you feel. It's adorable! It's nice to see that ninja never change!" He started singing then. It was really weird. Especially once the room started changing, and he showed me how defeated his Oka-san and made the moon. By the time it was over the thing I could think to ask was:
"So you're Hagor-, Hago-, this Sage person?"
"Nope!"
"You're not!? But then why-"
"Kid. Nishi. Can I call you Nishi? I have been trapped in your head for five years. I have spent most of that time trying to decide how exactly I was going to introduce myself. This was the best I could come up with. But no. I didn't do any of that stuff."
"So everything you just showed me was a lie!?"
"Nope!"
"But, but, but-"
"Everything I just showed is as true as my memory can make it. But I didn't do any of it. And I'm not the Sage of Six Paths either."
"Then, who are you?"
"Great question! I'm-" he paused here. I'm not sure how long I waited, but it felt like forever. Then he changed into a blond kid my age. "I'm your spirit guide. You can just call me Hago or something."
"My spirit what?"
"Your spirit guide. Y'know, the guy in charge of helping you become a splendid ninja and all that crap."
"Does that mean you're going to teach me awesome jutsu or show me how to use puppets!? Cause I wanna be a puppet master, like Oka-san, and join the Puppet Brigade and-"
"Whoa, slow down there for a moment. I don't know any jutsu and I can't really help you with puppet controlling thingys."
"Then what good are you!? he winced a little when I said that."
"I can't help you with any techniques, but I can sense chakra. I've gotten pretty good at it, if only because there is anything else too do in here. But I can also offer you guidance. Even if I don't know any jutsu, I do know a lot about jutsu. And chakra. And a bunch of other things I really shouldn't know but do anyways. In other words, what I have to offer is knowledge-"
I'm not sure how long he kept going after that. I got bored and decided to start working on my Puppet Jutsu again. I still couldn't form chakra strings like Oka-san, but that's why she gave me Kun-kun. Training puppets already have wires attached to them, I just had to figure out to move chakra along them and connect with the puppet. Oka-san said that once I could do that, then I could start learning without the wires. That was waaay more important than whatever Hago was babbling about.
It was a couple months later, after Oka-san mentioned that I needed to know a jutsu before I could enter the academy and start really learning how to become a ninja, that I realized that Hago needed to know a jutsu too. It didn't matter if I learned the puppet jutsu, if all he had was that sensory stuff. Which is why I asked Oka-san to get me a genjutsu scroll. I mean if Hago could show other people the same things he showed about that sage-guy then they'd have to him attend.
Unfortunately, things weren't really going well. Hago keeps insisting that he can't use jutsu and that it doesn't matter either way. He seems to think no one can hear him. Which is why we're here, arguing, instead of doing something productive, like finally learning how to make chakra strings. (I'm so close to forming them too! Oka-san took even took the training wires of Kun-kun last month!)
"Y'know, it's not like I'm here by choice. If was able to leave, I would have done so years ago. Besides, it's not I don't want to learn genjutsu, that stuffs awesome if you can do it, but I can't use any of it. I'm just a spirit. I can't use any kind of chakra if I don't have a body to provide the necessary physical energy."
"What if you just used mine?" At this point I was willing to try anything.
"Because even if you could somehow donate raw physical energy to me, if I don't have a chakra circulatory system, then I can't mix with my spiritual energy. No mixture, no chakra. The only way I can any kind of jutsu is if you gave me control of your body. And then I'd have to learn how to mix my spiritual energies with your physical energies, and I'd have to learn how to use the resulting chakra. After all of that, then I might be able to start learning jutsu. Don't underestimate time you've spent learning to do all that by instinct."
"Great, so that's it then. I'm never going to get into the academy and I'm never going to be a ninja, because my stupid spirit guide can't use jutsu."
"First, no one's going to keep you out of the academy on my account. Most people don't even have spirit guides like me. I don't think they'll bother asking about me. I mean, your parents still think I'm your imaginary friend! No one else is going to care."
"And what if they do!? What am I supposed to do then!?"
"If it really does come down to it, I can just use my chakra sense. I doubt they'll discount that. I could even give it a name: Spiritual guidance: chakra location jutsu. You have nothing to worry about. Just do your usual thing and you'll do fine."
"I don't know…"
"How about this. I'll give you a demonstration of my sensory thing." Maybe…
"Can you tell me where Oka-san is?"
"…" How long was this going to take?
"She's out of my passive scanning range. I can't sense her even if I actively search for her chakra, so she probably isn't in the village right now. Or the neighborhood at least." It was worth a shot.
"How about Oto-san?" I think he's still here at home. I know I lose track of things when I'm talking with Hago but he'd have told if he was going somewhere. Unless he did and I missed it.
"In the workshop. I can't tell what he's doing. Civilians don't really use their chakra to do things the way shinobi do. It makes it harder to learn things about the with chakra sense alone." Hmm… who else is there. Maybe-
"I could lead you to the Kazekage's kid. He's down at the park right now. Everyone seems to be avoiding him. Again." Oh. This again. Hago's always trying to get to talk that Gaara kid. I don't really get it.
"I don't know. Oka-san said I shouldn't go near him. She said he's dangerous." Besides, I had more important things to do. Like train or help Oto-san in the workshop.
"How about this. You go down to the park and say hello to the Kazekage's kid, and I'll show you the most awesome, lethal, super-puppet you'll ever see. I can guarantee it's one that no one has ever seen. Ever."
"I don't know… I don't think I should." He's probably lying. He always fades out when I talk to my parents about puppet stuff. He thinks I don't notice, but I do.
"All right. I guess you don't want to see it after all. I was going to it for when you hit genin, but now… I think I might just end up scrapping it. Then you'll never see it. Ever." But then again, if he's telling the truth…
Next thing I knew I was on my way down the street, Kun-kun folded up on my back. (Oka-san say's I should always, always, keep my puppet with me.) Oto-san, my last real hope, didn't even argue when I told him where I was going. He just told to have fun and to not get in any trouble. I bet Oka-san would've made me stay home.
Gaara had pointy red hair. He appears to be building a sand castle. His partner looks to be a stuffed bear. Having observed the target and gathered intelligence, Nishimoto Shoyo, Jonin of Suna, has decided that the best course of action is to return to headquarters and make his report. Moving carefully, to avoid getting spotted by the target or any of the other rogue shinobi operating in the area, Nishimoto, Jonin of Suna, made his to the exit point, when his radio suddenly crackled to life.
"Hold it Nishi. You still aren't done here." His superior barked over the line. Drat! Nishimoto, Jonin of Suna, had really, really, really hoped Hago had forgotten about the whole "say hi to the creepy, dangerous kid" part of his mission. Slowly, ever slowly, Nishimoto, Jonin of Suna, made his way back to the target. Very slowly. So, he wouldn't be seen. Nishimoto, Jonin of Suna made his way back the large rock that he'd been using as cover while preformed was observing the target.
Nishimoto, Jonin of Suna, made ready to approach the target. And then he made ready to approach the target again. He couldn't be too hasty after all, this was a delicate situation and-
"Just get on with it already, sheesh. Not getting any younger over here." With those words of "encouragement" ringing in his, um, ears? Nishimoto, small child, crept out from behind the rock when-
"HEY, GAARA! WHATCHA DOIN'?" Startled Nishimoto took hid, I mean, took cover behind the large rock again, as an overly exuberant girl bounded towards him.
"Crud. It's her." Only the promise of a brand-new puppet design kept me from racing home at top speed. Aihara Kayo. The girl seemed determined to drive everyone around her crazy. That, or deaf. The only reason I even knew her name was because she'd loudly proclaim it to anyone that stood still for more than three seconds. She'd then proceed to tell you her life story, what the weather was like, and what a great ninja she was going to be, all while interrogating you about your life story. And now she had Gaara in her clutches. I actually felt kind of bad for him. Still, better him than me!
"Target has been compromised. Returning to fallback position." I decided that, in this case, discretion was definitely the better part of valor and turned to leave. Again.
"Don't even think about it, kiddo. Loud girl or not, you still need to go over there."
"Do I have to?" I don't think he'd even notice me with Aihara over there. And what if she sees me?
"Just walk over there and say hello to Gaara. You can run away after you've done at least that much."
"Hrrnnnn." With that very un-ninja-like sound I turned around, again, and walked towards Aihara and her latest victim. Slowly, I pulled Kun-kun off my back and started unfolding him. Maybe I would get lucky and he'd distract Aihara long enough for me to escape.
"Not good. The loud girl. You need to move her. NOW!" Did, did he just yell?
"Um, why?" Nothing seemed off to me, just Aihara chattering while Gaara did his best impression of an inactive puppet. A perfectly natural reac-
"JUST DO IT!"
I didn't know what to do, so I threw the only thing I had on hand. Kun-kun crashed right into Aihara just as the ground she was standing on burst into the air. As the sand settled back down I saw Aihara still lying on the ground, staring at me. Gaara was staring at me too. I don't think I like the way they were looking at me. Then Kun-kun came back down. What was left of him. I don't know if he could be fixed or not. I just ran home and didn't look back.
A/N: Well here it is. The first Nishimoto chapter. There was a lot more exposition here than I originally intended. A lot less singing as well.
Still, I think I accomplished what I wanted.
Also, a note on Kun-kun's nickname: according to google translate, training puppet is ningyo kunren. Since ningyo is puppet Nishimoto decided to shorten the other word. On that note, if anyone knows a more reliable translator, I'd love to hear about it.
PS: to answer the question posed by weaboo2016: Yes. And no. My current plan is to track down as many compatible SI's as my sanity can manage (and my schedule will allow me read) and then watch what happens when all of them end up existing in the universe at the same time. However, the Dreaming of Sunshine-verse is the baseline the others will be measured against. Of course, none of this is going to matter until the chunin exams and those are still a ways off.
PSS: What does "compatible SI" mean? Whatever I want it to. Mostly it means that the SI's can coexist without trampling over each other.
SI's that completely replacing canon characters are also out. DOS is fine, because even though Shikako replaced Sakura on Team 7, Sakura herself continues to exist as a character. Pulling the String's SI, on the other hand, removes Kankuro from the story and replaces with an OC that shares his name. While the story (at least, what I've read so far) doesn't lose anything because of this, it still disqualifies him for this fic.
PSSS: Well, that was even more exposition than what I had planned. And it wasn't even part of the story. Well, anyways, thank you to everyone who reviewed. If you have any questions I'll do my best to answer them, either here on through a PM.
PSSSS: Pease read & review.
12/1/2017 Edit: made it more obvious when Nishimoto is talking to Hago instead of just thinking.
