Sorry it took so long for this chapter. I don't have them written out in advance like my last story so it might be a bit between postings. Once it gets near the climax, they will come quicker.

Chapter 2: New Friends

Ensign's log star date 44049.4

"This has been an … interesting week, to say the least.

Mum transported back to Earth about an hour ago. We both cried. I guess I never truly realized how much having her near meant to me …" I start to cry again, but I fight not to, "until the thought of … of leaving her behind …" I can't control it any longer and I just let it all out for a minute.

"I'm sorry. I guess the thing I am having the most trouble with is that I don't know when, or even if, I will ever see her again. Its all part of the Starfleet career package, I guess." I wipe away the final tear and reach for something on the floor next to my seat. "She brought me, though, something that has already helped me greatly since she left." I laugh, embarrassed. "It may seen rather childish, but …" I hold up a little burgundy teddy bear. "Her name is Angela, we connected the moment I touched her and she told me that. She wouldn't tell Mum. I love stuffed animals. Hardly a night goes by that I don't sleep with one. When I hug them close to me, I am pouring a ton of love into them brought on by the thoughts of the person who gave it to me. It not only makes me happy, but them as well as they receive the love. Then, when I feel sad or lonely or scared, I just squeeze them even tighter and it's like I am squeezing out some of that love. They don't mind and it certainly doesn't hurt them, they are always happy to give back some of that love when I need it most. Of course, I always give them more love than I take back."

I hold the bear out in front of me and stare at her, then I turn her around and place her in my lap "I know, not very becoming of a Starfleet ensign to sleep with and cuddle a teddy bear, I honestly wish it were a man I could cuddle with, a boyfriend … I haven't really had the time to meet anyone new yet. I am hoping to in these last few weeks of repairs, though. I am just very … picky, choosey about the men I date. Too bad the previous ones proved to be bad apples. The last one, Adam, seemed so nice at first, but I realized a little late that it was all just an act, and I enjoy the theatre but not that kind of acting. I have to credit his performance though, I'd say it'd warrant a standing ovation.

One of the advantages, though, about being on a starship as opposed to back at the Academy, most of the men here are much more mature and responsible then the Academy cadets. And they are almost all very intelligent, the main quality I search for, even before looks. Basing an opinion of a man purely on looks is so … uh … so, grrr, what's the word? Insubstantial? Ex - ah, oh something. I hate when I can't think of the right word and its nearly on the tip of my tongue. This is going to bug me all day now. But you get the idea. I have to get to know someone first, their personality, look into their eyes. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul, which is so true. Maturity is a definite must for me, however. Which is probably why I tend to avoid men my own age, I prefer them older.

Its funny, something I just remembered. I met Guinan the other day down in Ten-Forward where she works as bartender. I was just sitting there, reading my latest book, drinking an iced tea when she came over and asked to join me. She asked why I was sitting by myself. I told her it was because my roommate was on duty. She kind of looked at me and asked about my other friends. I told her I didn't have any yet, that I was still rather new on board. We chatted for a while. I like her, she's very intuitive, more so than even I could ever become. My guardians took a liking to her almost instantly. It almost makes me wonder if she is like me. I'm not sure though, can alien species be witches? But I'm sure they wouldn't use that term. I know some of them possess the same or similar abilities. But I'm not about to ask, that's for sure. I'm not sure how people these days, what with all the technology, would react to … well, someone like me if they knew of my abilities. I'd imagine they'd be more open to the possibilities than a few hundred years ago, but I don't really wish to find out. I realize that's something best kept to myself."

I glance at the time on the panel to my right. "I had better get going. Andrea and I are meeting some friends of hers in Ten-Forward. I am taking Guinan's advice. I'm going to make myself some new friends tonight." (end log)


Ensign's log star date 44051.5

"I had a lot of fun last night. Andrea and I met four of her friends in Ten-Forward. Let's see. I hope I get their names right, I am terrible at remembering people's names: there was a married couple from engineering: the Potts, Marie and Alex. Andrea's boyfriend, Daniel from security. And Drake Grisham, but I don't remember where he works. They are all in their early 30s. We hung around Ten-Forward for a few hours talking, then the Potts had to return to their quarters to put their sons to bed. I hope I get to meet them, I love children. I hope to be able to volunteer in the nursery and school soon, but so far I haven't found the time yet.

They all were very nice. But it almost seemed to me as if they were trying to set Drake and I up. We were the only singles in the group. I'd really rather people wouldn't do that, I don't like being hooked up by others. They almost never possess the qualities I am looking for. I prefer meeting people on my own, even though I don't usually do very well on my own.

Drake is such a practical jokester. He's always laughing and making the rest of us laugh along with him. He's so random though. We could be talking about something as boring as … like reactor coils, and he'll just pop off something out of the blue about Vulcan humor, which I'd imagine they really don't have much of. It'd probably be considered illogical to laugh. But it's just something so off-topic you can't help but laugh.

They mentioned some kind of ski program they are planning to run later in the week and they invited me to come. I said that I'd like to, but I really don't know how to ski. But I think I might go anyway, there might be a skating rink there as well and I would love to go ice skating. And maybe I could learn to ski, too. Drake said he'd teach me. Should be interesting." (end log)


Ensign's log star date 44085.9

"We are en route to the nearest star base. A little boy, the youngest of Marie and Alex Potts who have just gone on sabbatical, is very sick. I'm not sure what happened. Andrea took me down to sick bay when she went to visit him. His name is Willie and he is 9-years-old. She tells me he is normally a very happy boy and gets along well with his older brother, Jake, but he was so melancholy. It can't be fun for a little boy to be confined in a sick bay quarantine. Dr. Crusher expects he will recover fine once we get him to the base's medical facility, she doesn't have the necessary instruments on board to facilitate his recovery. I hope we get there in time.

On a happier note," I laugh meekly, "Drake was able to teach me to ski, it's more complicated than I expected. You have to walk a certain way, be sure not to cross the skies, even standing back up after a fall is something new and complex you have to learn. I liked the hills, though I only did the beginner ones. I would be scared to death to even attempt some of the ones he and the others did. I just watched. But mostly, Drake stayed with me and helped me while the others went off to do their thing. He is really, really nice. He even went ice skating with me. And …" I blush slightly, "we have a date tomorrow. I am so excited! Let's see what happens." (end log)


Ensign's log star date 44088.3

"Well, that date went well enough. I just got back, but … I don't know. He seems … different one on one. I mean, more so than yesterday. There's just something about him that seems a bit off, not like psychotic or anything, … but, from what I could tell, he's hiding something. It could prove to be nothing at all, but I couldn't really tell, and I've learned rather the hard way to listen to my instincts. Also, I couldn't read too much in his eyes, they are veiled in some way and that is a bit unnerving. He wants to get together again, but I'm not sure I want to be alone with him. I think for now it would be best to get to know him along with the rest of the group. Now I just have to tell him that." (end log)


Ensign's log star date 44090.5

"We arrived at the star base medical facility, finally. For a bit it was questionable whether we would in time. Lt. Commander Data commandeered the entire ship and cut off all bridge access and command functions. We ended up around a planet in the sector opposite to where we were heading. A team was sent to the surface to retrieve Data. It turns out his creator had activated some sort of homing device.

But, no great harm done, I suppose. Willie is expected to make a full recovery, we arrived not a moment too soon. His parents have rejoined the ship, a little earlier than planned. They are all happy to be back together.

I told Drake, by the way, what I thought. He seems okay with it, he said he wasn't really expecting this to take off immediately and that he understands. I hate having to tell guys stuff like that. Andrea told me it was for the best, that he really is a nice man, he only has a few major issues he is trying to address at the moment. And also that they weren't trying to hook us up, it just happened to be a coincidence. She didn't go into details and I didn't ask, it's none of my business. If he wanted me to know, he would have told me himself.

Other than that, things have been going great. I really feel like a valued member of the bridge crew now. They all seem to have accepted me fine. And I really enjoy my on duty time. It's interesting, all the conversations you pick up on from everyone else. It's hard not to listen. I like that I am normally stationed up front so they can't see when I smile at some of the comments and jokes they make. Commander Riker is the worst of the lot. Data has caught me smirking a few times and I just shake my head at him. He seems confused when I do that, his not being able to understand human emotions, humor in particular.

I have also very quickly grown to respect many of them, which for me is something that doesn't come easily. Normally it takes a while for someone to gain my respect, but not for the Captain, Commander Riker, Counselor Troi, Data, Worf, even Lieutenant La Forge, though I only work with him once in a while. They all have been doing this for so long together and they work so well as a team, I thought it would be difficult to gain acceptance, but it really didn't take long. I am trying to prove to them, beyond a doubt, that I can be relied on and trusted. I think they are beginning to realize it. I can't really explain how I know this, I can just feel it.

But there's something else, I can't yet put my finger on it. I am always excited about going on duty, but I've realized its more than just work." I become lost in my thoughts and stay quiet for a minute before snapping out of it. "Sorry. My mind is going a thousand miles a second, but I don't even know about what. Maybe I should go spend some time on the holodeck, to clear my head, otherwise I will never be able to go to sleep tonight." (end log)


Ensign's personal log star date 44125.1

"Nothing much has been happening lately, just routine stuff. Andi and I have really been getting to know each other. We've stayed up late just about every night talking, except on nights she has a date with Daniel. Things between them are really going great, they make a cute couple and they seem perfect for each other. I only wish I could find someone as compatible for me. It's really frustrating for me, having met so many men who I had liked at first, only to find out what they are really like, and it usually isn't good. To go from being excited that I've finally found someone to being disappointed as often as I have is disheartening.

Anyway, Tomorrow is my 27th birthday. No big deal really, birthdays for me really never have been. Mum used to always make a big deal of them, always asking if I felt any different being another year older. Honestly, it's just like any other day, I don't feel much different day to day. It's when I go back through old journal entries that I can truly see how much I have changed.

My writing has certainly improved. I have been working a lot on my most recent story. I've based it on a dream I had quite a few years ago, but I still remember most of it quite clearly because the images and emotions associated with it are rather … disconcerting. I also still have the journal entry documenting the original dream the day after I had it. It's by no means the happiest story ever written, in fact it's quite the opposite. It's got a plot line that delves deep into one's psychological self. Mine, actually. But its something I don't think I would ever want read. The reason I'm writing it is more for self examination and discovery than anything else and the content is very personal in nature.

So that's been keeping my mind busy. I have also volunteered a few days last week in the school. The kids are all so wonderful and they seemed to have taken a particular liking to me, better than any other volunteer from what the teacher tells me. I hope to be able to go at least twice a week from now on. Jake Potts, who is one of the children there, has been really down lately. He still feels guilty for what happened to his little brother, Willie, who remains in quarantine, just to be sure. Dr. Crusher told Marie and Alex, their parents, that they will release him in a few days, once they are sure all the tests prove negative for any lingering infection." (end log)


Ensign's log star date 44129.6

"I don't believe those friends I have!" I laugh. "They are mischievous little sneaks, but I love them! They planned a surprise party for me in mine and Andi's quarters tonight. Andi had convinced me to join her on the holodeck after I got off duty. We went swimming in Lake George, a tourism town I used to love visiting when I was younger. And when we got back, Daniel, Alex, Marie and Drake nearly scared the hell out of me. But it was a pleasant surprise. They certainly kept it well hidden. It was a lot of fun. I couldn't have asked for better friends.

Andi and Daniel have gone back to his quarters, so I have the room to myself for a while, which is always nice. I will be able to meditate here before going to bed." (end log)


Ensign's log star date 44148.3

"The Captain was stabbed last night by a human teenage boy we had rescued off a Talarian training vessel.

From what Daniel, a member of the security team who responded to sickbay's call, told us, he dislikes women and doesn't recognize their authority, so the Captain took him under his wing, so to speak.

What's strange is that I saw this boy last night in Ten-Forward. He seemed happy enough.

Another Talarian ship met up with us and we beamed on board their Captain, but it didn't go too well. When he left, it was with the intention that we would be going to war if we did not return his son, this human boy. It was certainly a shock to see Captain Picard walk onto the bridge so soon after the attack. He said that what had happened was a result of Jono's, that's the boy's name, confusion and conflicting emotions. He had been raised by the alien Captain, but now we felt it was necessary to return him to his true family. Only that proved to be the mistake. We did return him, but to his alien father.

I have never seen that side of Captain Picard before. I wonder if he has any children of his own? I'll bet he's an excellent father. But he always seems so … solitary. I don't think he has a wife or children. I wonder if he's ever lonely." (end log)