I Don't Even Like Fish
By: TheNastyBunny
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
Warnings: Vulgar words, not beta-ed so all mistakes are mine.
A/N: This fic suddenly turned to crack in the middle. Sorry. Author's insanity.
Chapter 2
Itachi bit his lip, concern for his mother and possible places she went to flooded his mind. Damn it. Where could she have gone? His mother acquired some odd hobby of hiding at random times. He wished this was one of them too. He stepped on the gas pedal as soon as the annoying red light turned green, ignoring the horns and cussing of some drivers as he sharply turned, almost colliding with a green Camaro. Stupid little fools, wasting his time.
As soon he saw roof of their one-story bungalow, he was jumping on his seat, heart beating fast and adrenaline pumping in his blood. The tires of his Aston Martin N420 screeched as he abruptly put the car on a stop as soon as he was a few meters away from their front door, with Miss Konan looking at the porch looking all but happy. In a flash, the Uchiha was standing in front of her, his hold on her arms hurting as he shook her for answers.
"What happened? Have you searched the house?" his dark eyes full of emotion she expertly read as worry and fear.
"I- When I arrived, the door was already open. I tried calling her a f-few times but it seems her cellphone was turned off. She's not in her room, I looked there too." Itachi let the poor nurse go, kicking the door open.
His scanned the room with fast eyes, noting if there were any of their things missing. But not a thing was out of place, the room still tidy and well-decorated.
"Mother? Are you there? Please come out." No answer.
He strode to her room, the bed was made as usual. He opened her closet, hoping his mother was there, considering that was her favorite place to hide in because she and his "father' were playing hide and seek. However, the furniture was devoid of her, only her silk dresses were there, a hint of her perfume tickled his nose.
"Mother? Where are you?" his usually controlled voice trembled slightly.
He slammed the closet door shut. He walked towards the bed, looked under it, still she was not there. He ran to the kitchen, opening the doors under the sink, under the table, still she not there. The tiled bathroom was cold and empty. The bathtub dry and shining, as if mocking him.
"Mother, please." His voice small and cracked. Itachi ran a hand in hair, his breathing harsh, and various kinds of emotions welling up inside of him. The long-haired man ran towards his room, checked his closet, under his bed, beneath his work desk, under his computer table, still she was not there.
Again and again, he looked throughout the house; still it was devoid of his beloved mother. Itachi sat tiredly at the couch, his lustrous hair covering his handsome face. He rand his hand on his face, his lower lip caught between his teeth.
There were footsteps. "Where have you been.." He snapped his head up to look at his, Oh, Miss Konan was still there. "I-Itachi-san.."
The man cleared his throat, his mask of indifference and apathy was back on his face. Konan was recommended by Deidara, one of his few friends, when he heard that Mikoto got sick. She was a nurse at the Konoha General Hospital. In all actuality, Konan had been a great companion for his mother when he didn't find the time. However, Itachi was never the most sociable person, having one less person to complicate things would be better.
"I'm sorry for causing some problems, Miss Konan. I'll call you as soon as my mother's back. You can leave now." Hurt and disagreement visible on her pretty face, she nodded and walked away silently.
Itachi sighed. There had to be something that would lead him to his mom. What happened to her? Did she run away? Was she kidnapped? If she was, why weren't her kidnappers contacting him yet? Then he needs to go the police as fast as possible. Moments later the neighbors swore they saw a fancy black car raging out of the Uchihas front yard.
The Konoha Police Department was only a 12 minute ride from Itachi's house. Itachi made it there in 5 minutes, even with traffic. The police department was housed in a three story building and 100 odd something policemen, sans the higher ranking ones, were occupying the sizeable receiving area. Some were busy walking, laughing, talking/shouting and giving Itachi the onceover. Having an attractive face and an alluring body, Itachi was never surprised when people showed interest in him although in times like these that he didn't know whether to appreciate or despise his almost perfect features.
When he arrived there, there was a swarm of, in his estimate 80, people waiting to file their complaints or whatever. Some of the policemen were already dispersing the number of people but it was not enough. The people were angry and demanding justice from the enforcers. They didn't want to leave. A man was shouting about him not receiving the right compensation and the woman was shouting about something unfair right beside Itachi's left ear. A child whose face was covered in snot and tears was crying and was sitting beside Itachi while his Mom told him to "be a good boy, sit here and wait for me" Itachi was pissed to the core.
Oh Buddha why the fuck does this huge-ass number of people has to file their trivial complaints at this same day when he fucking needed the goddamned police, his mother was nowhere in sight and his bitch-ass migraine suddenly started to join in with the fun and now a fucking pervert with red triangles on his cheeks was looking at him and telling him to…Oh. Oh. He was saying something about Itachi being here. Oh. He was a police. Good.
"..Sir? Are you okay? How can I serve you?" The scraggly brunette with tattoos inquired with a malicious glint in his eyes. Itachi hated that ugly mug of his.
The pale man chose to ignore the man decided to get down to business. He told Kiba, the officer said to call him Kiba and Itachi wasn't going to make things harder for him by calling him another name, about his mom disappearing and she was not in the most stable state.
"Oh, that seems to be a problem. But she hasn't been gone for 24 hours right? You see we need to wait 24 hours before we can act. Stable or not, those are the rules. I'm sorry. Because what if we make our move now and suddenly she's back from the movies or out with friends or something"
Itachi took a deep breath. A menacing aura started to surround him as he started to talk, "Officer, My mother is missing. I know she's not in the movies because-"
"I'm innocent! Honest! Why would you arrest me when I'm just expressing my love for him, huh? Is that bad? Is love a crime? You're cruel! You have no emotions!" A barrage of words cut Itachi off.
It was a man. He was tall, taller than Itachi, and lanky, with silver hair and a mask covering his face, only one eye visible. He wondered how the man was able to talk without muffling his words. The man was cuffed and being dragged two police officers, with an annoyed expression on their faces.
"Shut up! You were not expressing your love by intentionally getting hit by his car and demand him" he pointed to a shorter tan man with a scar across his nose, who was blushing all the while looking irritated and frustrated "to take care of you and let 'you sleep in his bed, while you moan his name out loud as you bury your thick love inside him'"
Itachi chose to not pay attention to what the police officer was saying because it started to get more disturbing. As he was looking away, the silver-haired pervert locked eyes with him. And he stared. And stared and perfectly executed a professional tackle,
"Your Highness! Why are you here? Where's Kisame? Leave before more of them see you!" he was now straddling Itachi and whispered "You can't let these commoners see you. It's disrespectful to the royal family." Itachi glared at the pervert. "If you're wondering why I'm here, I'm just here to pick Iruka up and then leave."
The raven haired man was about to push the silver-haired man off of him when four policemen pulled the man away from him. Itachi let out a sigh of relief and straightened his button down shirt. Before he could utter a word of gratitude, he was being cuffed. "He's an accomplice! Get him!" The silver-haired man paled to the palest shade of white and lost consciousness, the blushing brunette was now looking confused and awed by what was happening. Itachi hated this day.
Hoshigake Kisame was in deep shit. The King, Fugaku, was pissed at him. Although he was able to get Her Majesty Queen, Mikoto, to Fugaku, he failed to deliver the crown Prince to him. It wasn't his fault that the Queen was like triathlon champion in sprinting and running but a total klutz in swimming. He wondered how she became the Queen of all oceans when she wasn't able to swim even for her life. Also, the crown prince was not there when he arrived! Considering that he had wake up earlier to get there. This totally sucks. His "tattoos" were itching because of the polluted air they had in Konoha, but he couldn't really do anything. He had a job to do, being the best fighter and warrior in the kingdom; he had been assigned to fetch the two royals back to the ocean. Now he was forced to go back to Konoha and retrieve the wayward Prince. As the familiar house came into view, Kisame jogged faster so that he can finish this in no time.
What Kisame saw in the house was the prince all right, though not the prince he was looking for. The man he saw was tall, tan and blonde but Kisame was still taller and beefier. The tan man looked up to him in shocked eyes as he forced the door open with a kick. They looked at each other and Kisame swore he didn't feel the slightest fear when the man charged towards him like a walrus.
Kisame hissed as he touched his busted lip. Damn, the kid can fight, though he was still no match for the darker man. The kid was now sprawled on the floor, bloodied and beaten though he was not in a fatal condition, Kisame made sure of that. He readjusted his coat and his shoes when a sound broke into the room. There was something vibrating on the table. Oh, a phone. Yea. They had that too in the ocean. His eyes widened at the caller, it was his prince. He clicked the green button, he didn't bother saying anything. However that still didn't matter because Itachi was talking 50 words a second.
"Naruto, come get me here at the police station. There was some pervert here and he started talking to me and then the police thought I was with the idiot, they locked me in. Get me some bail. I'll pay you later, Hurry, I still have to find, Mother. Thank you." And only a dial tone can be heard.
Kisame grinned. "I'm on my way, Your Highness."
Minutes later, Kisame was already at the station. He looked around. He saw the information booth and asked where he could pay the bail for Mr. Uchiha Itachi. The man behind the table looked at him with wide eyes and ushered him swiftly at some man's table. At the man's table was a small brunette with scar across his nose, arguing something about someone innocent being jailed. Their talk was interrupted when they saw Kisame, the officer entertained him immediately. After a few more talks, he gave the money and signed something. The officer walked him towards the cells.
Kisame swore that this was the most beautiful creature he'd seen. Look at those sinful lips, red and moist. The silky black hair, Kisame was sure, would be heaven to touch and to nuzzle, that long slender neck with pale creamy skin would look better with love bites on it. Oh those high cheekbones that can-
"Kisame! You're late! Kisame? Hello? Kisame! Stop looking at the Prince and look at me damn it!"
Kisame turned to the familiar voice, "Kakashi? What are you doing here? Where's the Prince? I was supposed to fetch him because I beat his blonde friend's ugly ass and thus is not avai…la...ble."
Then it hit him. Oh shit. The Prince. He was the Prince, which would definitely add up because the Crown Prince was Prince Sasuke's brother, which was the most beautiful merman ever lived. Oh double shit. Kisame was hot for the Prince, and now, for the most part, his dick was also hard for the prince. Which was bad, real bad, considering that the Prince was now looking at him eyes full of maiming, disgust and something else that promised blood and bruises. His cock twitched. The dark-skinned man gulped. OhThreeGreatSannin help him.
Review please. Obviously, I need a beta. Please tell me any mistakes you see. What do you think? :D
A/N:
The obvious lack of response made me sad. However, there are those who wanted to me continue so I will. I will continue writing as long as there is still someone who will spare me a review. Though of course, updates would be scarce.
I would like to extend my gratitude to my three reviewers, FMJ26, Alexa Hiwatari, and Tyranno's girl and those who favorited, my-black-star, Strawberry Girl and alerted, Alexa Hiwatari, kiotsukatanna, my-black-star, Tyranno's girl, this story. Thank you.
OMG TYRANNO'S GIRL OMG! I CAN'T… /FAINTS.
