Wow, guys! I didn't expect to get that many reviews on the first chapter - thank you! Now, I know I said this about IDNU but really this fan fiction isn't going to be that long :] I'll try and make ten chapters out of it… I'm still not entirely sure where it's going to end up but we'll see. I'm also thinking about writing a supernatural Fabrevans fic… we'll see ;) Enjoy!
Quinn's vision became blurry. It was almost as if she knew about the words came out of the girl's mouth - her daughter. Beth. She mouthed the name gently, somehow trying to fathom how all of this was possible.
Because it wasn't possible. It simply wasn't. When the adoption papers had been signed, Quinn had been adamant that she didn't want her daughter to find her. What would she think if she knew her mother was some knocked-up teenager? She didn't want that for her and she still didn't.
But that wasn't the only reason - she wanted to protect herself too. She wanted to be able to have a normal life and grow up in the right time. She wanted to marry before she had children and she wanted those children to grow up in a stable environment. Being on '16 and Pregnant' or 'Teen Mom' was not a stable environment.
"I'm really sorry to show up out of the blue…" Beth murmured nervously when she realised that Quinn simply couldn't talk at all. "I should have called or something. My God, I'm so stupid! I'm sorry, I'll come back another time, I-"
Just as the girl was about to walk away, Quinn put her arm in front of her to halt her movement. With a gulp and a long exhale, she finally found the strength to speak up. "No… don't go, please. Come in."
Quinn sat her daughter on the living room sofa whilst she scurried off into the kitchen to make coffee. It was an excuse to buy herself some thinking time, try to analyse the situation before she jumped right into things.
First of all, she questioned things - how did she know who her mother was? When did she find out? What was she actually here for besides to make sure? There must have been some other motive - did she want to tell Quinn she wanted nothing to do with her? Or exactly the opposite?
Then, Quinn wondered what Sam would think. Of course he knew that Quinn had been pregnant before he transferred to McKinley but she was pretty sure he never expected her bastard child to end up on their doorstep. How could she tell him about this. Or would she tell him? It was all so confusing.
And did her father know? Was Puck in on this? Quinn hadn't seen him since graduation. She knew he kept up his pool cleaning business and he worked on cars too but she'd never actually requested his help or seen him around town. It was a small place too, so it was strange that it hadn't occurred.
Finally, she returned to the living room. She was terrified of course but she didn't want Beth to know that she was trying to avoid this conversation. It was incredibly awkward for her and confusing. She hadn't been in a position like this for a long time.
"So." Quinn began with a sigh after sitting down and passing the coffee to the girl, "How old are you now?"
"I've been eighteen a few months now." Beth answered quietly, averting her gaze from her mother. It was only now that Quinn was noticing the uncanny resemblance she could see in Beth - the hair, the face shape, the build. But she also looked like her father. She had the Jewish nose, tanned skin and fathomless brown eyes. Quinn couldn't help but think that she was looking at one of those pictures you can make on sites that mash up two other photographs to see what your child would look like.
A pregnant pause fell between them when Quinn pulled her gaze away. She finally broke it by cutting to the chase. "And why are you here?" she asked. She tried to hide the harshness in her voice with curiosity but it didn't come out too well.
Beth cleared her throat. "I found out that I was adopted a couple of years ago. I think I was about twelve when… Shelby," she looked pained to call her by her first name rather than 'mom', "told me. I wanted to meet you but I couldn't. It's a closed adoption, she couldn't tell me anything. So I waited until I was eighteen… and I found you."
Quinn nodded slowly as the information dissolved in her mind. "Right…" she began, "but that still doesn't explain why you're here." her words were abrupt and with little kindness but Beth didn't seem to pick up on it.
"I just wanted to find you… I want to know you." she admitted shyly. Quinn could see the similar mannerisms that she held in her daughter - the way she sat, the look in her eyes and the way she played with her fingers. Even right down to the way she swallowed after her words as if they were hurting her, which they probably were, were similar.
Quinn took a deep breath. "Okay…" she sighed, "we need to get this out of our system then, I suppose." it was the first time she was being open and honest with her daughter so far but she figured the time would have to come soon, "Do you know why I didn't want you to know who I was?"
Beth nodded almost immediately. "Yeah, I took a visit to the hospital. You were a teenage mom, right?"
Quinn nodded solemnly. "I couldn't handle the pressure - I hope you understand that. And your father… do you-…?"
"No, no." she shot, "I don't know him. I wasn't able to find him. Do you… know him? Do you know where I could find him? I'd like to know him too."
The older woman bit her lip. Did she really want to know Noah Puckerman? Quinn hadn't seen him in a long time but he was kind of a jerk in high school. She may not have knew her daughter well but she didn't want to hurt her. If Noah was still the same person he was then, she didn't want to trust him with this girl. Still, she had to say something. "I don't speak to him anymore…" she sighed. She wasn't sure if it was a sigh of relief or sorrow but it was still a sigh. "We kind of… weren't friends before you were born?" the statement came out as a question.
"Why? How is… that possible if you had me?" Beth inquired curiously. Quinn could feel her heart beating hard in her chest and she was pretty sure her express gave away her fear or the question as Beth shot right up from her seat. "I'm so sorry. Oh my God, I really shouldn't have come here."
Beth tried to escape but Quinn pulled her back. She may not have been comfortable with the situation but she still wanted her daughter to know. "Wait!" she exclaimed, grabbing her by the wrist and turning her around. "I'll explain everything - I promise. Just… sit down." the words came out like a command so she added a hasty 'please' to the end of the sentence and Beth obliged.
Quinn took a deep breath and she prepare herself to pour her heart out. She hadn't spoken about this for an awful long time now. Sometimes her and Sam would brush over it quickly in conversation but they always rushed to get it over with or barely mentioned it. It wasn't an appropriate conversation to have at the dinner table.
"When I got pregnant with you," she began but could already feel her throat tightening and growing agonisingly painful, "I was dating your father's best friend." Beth tried to hide her shocked reaction but it was difficult. Her mouth gaped open slightly and her eyes grew sad, almost disappointed.
Quinn continued to talk though, ignoring her daughter's obvious disapproval. "I felt fat that day. He showed up at my house because he'd been watching me for a while. He liked me. I think he thought he loved me but he couldn't do anything about it… and it he brought wine coolers. He told me I was pretty and I felt kind of good. I know it's no excuse but it's the best I have. You might hate me now, but at least you'll know."
Beth nodded slowly, processing all of this information. "And… his best friend? What happened?" despite the disappointment, she was still curious as to how the story played out. She wanted to know more and Quinn couldn't blame her. Heck, if it hadn't have been her life she probably would have found it amusing.
"I told him it was his kid. We hadn't slept together yet but Finn… well, Finn was simple. And he really liked me so he believed the story that I told him… and I told him that you could get pregnant via hot tub." Quinn took a deep breath. The memories wer egetting to her and she could feel the tears brimming in her eyes, "But your father… he knew. He knew that I hadn't slept with Finn and I told him I was a virgin when we did it." Quinn couldn't hide her discomfort at talking about such intimate encounters with a daughter that she barely knew. "Eventually, Finn found out. My parents had kicked me out for being pregnant and I was living with him… but then the relationship broke down when he found out and he kicked me out too. I was left to live with your father because he was the only person I had."
Beth sighed after she'd taken the time to analyse what had just been said. "Right…" she finally murmured, nodding her head slowly, "I can see why you didn't want to keep me."
Quinn swallowed. "Thank you for understanding."
It was unspoken but both of them knew Beth was going to leave now. They both stood up and headed for the door but just before they reached it, Beth spun around on her heels to face Quinn. "What was his name?"
Quinn paused and tried to think a way out of answering but she knew that if it was meant to be, Beth would find Puck. She figured there was no point in lying because the truth always came out sooner or later. "Noah Puckerman." she replied slowly.
Beth swallowed and made her discomfort apparent before she asked the next question. "And… did you… did you love him?"
Quinn's breath was caught in her throat before she could answer. Many thoughts ran through her head - she thought of high school, the years before she'd met Sam and how she'd actually felt about Noah. At first, she thought he was just another footballer who'd done most of the girls in the school. But when he'd told her that she wasn't fat, she felt amazing. And when he told her he'd loved her, she felt like she'd tamed a lion.
"Yes…" she whispered quietly, looking her daughter in the eye for the first time since they'd begun to talk. "I did." she added, remembering to add emphasis on the past tense. She didn't love Noah Puckerman anymore. It was over and she loved Sam.
Beth smiled slightly at the thought of her parents once being in love. She didn't know them but she liked to think that they had her because they loved each other at least at one point in their lives. Even if they had never had a stable relationship, them loving each other was just enough to please her.
Just as she was about to turn and bid a silent goodbye, the front door swung open. Quinn gulped as she lay her eyes on Sam, back home early from work.
"Sam!" she exclaimed nervously and robotically, "W-Why are you home early?"
"The boss let me off early because there wasn't much left to do… nice to see you too, Quinn." he made his words sarcastic and smiled brightly. Then, for the first time he seemed to have noticed Beth. He studied her for a moment, his eyes scrolling up and down. "Hey, whose this?" he asked, pulling a genuine smile. He held his hand before the girl or nervously took it.
Quinn's stomach turned as the words built up in her throat. "Sam…" she began, walking beside him and laying a hand on his bicep. It seemed inevitable that he would freak out by this point but she at least wanted to make him seem a little calmer in front of Beth. "This is Beth… she's my daughter."
And I bare another cliff-hanger! I have a habit of doing that, don't I? Sorry! You have to admit though, it makes it more interesting :D I'd loved to know what you think of the idea so far, some of your predictions would be interesting to read, perhaps? I always wonder how people interpret my writing… anyway, thank you for reading. Reviews are well appreciated!
