How he made it back to his desk chair with the way his legs were shaking, Cullen wasn't sure. His heart was racing, pounding so hard within his chest that he was certain she could hear it. He gripped the arms of his chair and lowered himself into the soft cushion. "My guard will expect your leave soon," he told her. Cold, hardened, the words were harsh but he couldn't help it. His head was a mass of chaos and confusion; he couldn't think, couldn't breath, as long as she was there.
Solona remained near the door, hand on the handle ready for flight at a moments notice. Silently she scolded herself for her words, quick as they always were without thinking. This visit too was with little thought. She knew she needed help, she ran to the only person she trusted. A templar. Overseen by the Seekers of Truth. His duty alone was cause enough to bring her in for admitting she was wanted by them. She pulled at the hood of her cloak and covered her head once more. "I won't keep you then," she said quietly.
Don't let her walk away again you fool, his inner panic screamed at him. "Wait!" Cullen nearly yelled, so much so that she jumped as his command startled her. "It is not safe to talk here," he said more gently.
Her eyes softened as she looked him. Maybe he would help her? "Tell me when and where, and I'll be there," she replied.
Cullen opened one of the drawers of his desk and retrieved a scroll. Solona stepped closer as he unrolled the parchment to reveal a detailed map of Kirkwall. "This should help you get around for now," he told her. He pointed to a spot in the corner of Darktown. "There is an entrance here that'll lead you to the tunnels below the city. It exits here," he ran his finger along the map to the Gallows dungeon. "I will meet you there at midnight."
Solona placed her hands on the corners of the map as she studied the layout. "These tunnels are safe?"
Cullen nodded. "Once you take the boat back to the docks, you get to Darktown this way." He plotted the quickest route for her to get from the docks to the tunnel entrance. "As soon as we learned about this passageway we had it cleared out. I anticipate you will find no resistance."
She accepted his word and stepped back, allowing the edges she was holding to curl inwards. Cullen rolled up the map and retied it, handing it to her. "Thank you," she said sincerely. "I will be there."
As she turned her back on him, Cullen spoke once more. "Be careful," he asked of her.
Solona smiled, though he couldn't see. "Aren't I always?" she said to him before disappearing out into the hall.
No, he thought but didn't dare say. Careless, reckless, always in over her head. That is what he would say if asked to describe her. But careful? No. Not the Solona he knew, or had fallen in love with. Years may have gone by, but not a single day could escape him without a thought of her. Thinking it was her in the shadows, smelling her scent upon the wind...seeing her today brought it all back, and he feared the trouble she was in would take her away from him again.
If there was something he could do to prevent that, he would. Maybe this time things could turn out differently for the both of them.
._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._.
It was late; much later than she thought it was, and Solona quietly pushed her chair back from the table. The templars in the library hadn't asked her to leave yet, but she knew they were about to. It was always clear when they were tired and hungry, and as the last mage in the room she was preventing them from getting to their meal early.
Before she stood she slipped the parchments under her robe, holding them securely with her thumbs as she folded her hands in front of her. A quick nod to the ever quiet guards that watched her under their helms and she exited the library to the hall of the apprentice's quarters, keeping her back to them as much as possible without looking suspicious.
Around the corner and she was free! She withdrew the pages and looked at them as she took the familiar walk to the large room where she bunked with several other apprentices. Solona frowned as she studied her handiwork; there was much more to be done, but it would have to wait until morning.
"What do you have there?" a male voice asked behind her.
Solona froze. How did I not hear his armor? she thought to herself. What am I going to do? Think Solona...think...
"Please don't make me ask again," the templar repeated. He was getting angry; clear in his tone this one had little patience.
Solona turned around and looked up at the templar. Strange to see one without a helm; even stranger that she didn't remember ever seeing him before. She'd spent most of her years in the tower...how did she not know him? His hand was outstretched, waiting for her to hand over what she was looking at. She did so reluctantly.
He looked down at the paper and then at her, eyes continuing the trail between the two several times. A raised eyebrow of curiosity made her feel a little more at ease. "These are stunning," the templar stated, reviewing three different drawings of a woman. Long light hair, high cheekbones, small thin lips; all a close resemblance to the mage before him, though much older.
"Revka," Solona told him. "My mother. Or what I imagine she looks like."
Her words surprised him, though he wasn't sure why. Most mages were brought to the Circle very young; probably more than half didn't remember their parents. "You know these pages are meant to remain in their books," he now did his duty in scolding her. "Perhaps tomorrow you could ask your instructor for some blank pages, instead of drawing on the back of spells?"
Solona nodded. "My apologies. It won't happen again."
"I should hope not," he told her as he handed the pictures back to her. "Hide those well," he whispered to her as she took them.
The surprise and excitement in her expression nearly caused him to smile, but he resisted. Normally he'd never allow a mage to break any of the rules; doing so would cause him to seem weak in front of the other mages. But they were just drawings he tried to justify to himself. Where's the harm in that?
As he turned to walk away from him, Solona couldn't help but call out to him. "What's your name?"
The templar ignored her and continued to walk on, forcing Solona to enter the room and drill her fellow apprentices that were clearly eavesdropping by the door. She had to know who that man was.
._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._.
It took Solona several minutes to adjust to the smell when she opened the entrance to the underground tunnel. Whatever clearing out Cullen claimed his templars had done, it was obvious they left behind a few things to rot. She lit the torch with a simple fire spell and followed the path he had provided for her on her map.
Somewhere in the distance water was dripping. It was the only sound besides her own breathing and the crackling of the flame she held. The ground beneath her feet was damp, traces of footsteps before her still imprinted in the mud. A chill was in the air, whether it be from being underground or her own fear she wasn't sure, but she quickened her pace.
The light she held did little for the black void that was in front of her. While it illuminated the immediate vicinity, each step was a leap of faith into the unknown. Unfamiliar paths in an unfamiliar city was something Solona was not accustomed to. Though doubtful daylight would've helped a place this deep, she still wished there was a light at the end of this darkness to run towards.
Minutes seemed like hours as she moved. The crumbled rocks she walked upon hurt the soles of her feet through her thin shoes. Occasionally she would reach out for the nearest wall to regain her balance in the disorienting underground. The air seemed thicker the further she went in, and her lungs grew heavy with each inhalation. All she wanted was to get through this, get to safety, get to Cullen.
A large stone boulder up ahead blocked her path, and she stopped to take out the map and study it again. One hand holding the torch made it difficult for her to unroll the parchment but she managed to hold open the portion she needed to view. She walked around the obstacle as she read the map, thinking it best to focus on what she could see rather than what she couldn't. Halfway there she noticed, just a little further.
With her eyes no longer on the ground beneath her, she failed to notice the large shadow she was approaching. It wasn't until she tripped, screaming in the process, that she was able to see the corpse of a very large spider she had fallen over. She scrambled to her feet quickly and continued on into the darkness.
Now she ran, resolved herself to staring only at her feet to avoid falling again. Pull yourself together, she scolded herself. Slayer of darkspawn and archdemon and yet can't walk around in the dark...
Each turn seemed the same; every corner, every wall, the ground, the ceiling, repetitive patterns that went on and on with no difference. Was she going in circles? She didn't know...a rat trapped in a maze, she ran faster as if speed alone would cause her to break free from this nightmare she seemed locked in. It was too dark, too familiar, too much like a place she'd been before...lost in an endless loop of time and desperate to find a way out...
Suddenly something gripped her upper arms and she screamed again, pushing against whatever was attacking her. No, not here, not again! How did they find me here? Quickly Solona thought to mind blast the creature off of her, but just as the magic grew within her it was ripped away from her. "Solona calm down," his voice said. "It's me!"
The fire from her dropped torch lit up his face as she looked up at him. His voice, she knew him, she trusted him...if he was here, that meant she wasn't there... "Cullen?"
He pulled her in close as her body trembled. "It's alright," his soothing voice comforted her.
For a brief moment she fell into his arms, finally able to breath again. She never did do well in dark places, a fear she had shared with him on more than one occasion. But as she found herself finally relaxing in his arms, the effects of his smite reminded her what he did. She pulled away and punched him in the chest. "Don't ever do that to me again," she demanded.
Cullen tried to apologize. "I've been on the receiving end of your magic before remember. I did not enjoy it. When I heard you scream I had to make sure you were alright."
Solona sighed, picking up the torch. "I didn't know it was you," she admitted, her own apology in the tone of her voice. "I haven't slept much, and it's been a long day, and it's really really dark down here."
It had been years since he saw that kind of fear in her eyes, but the memory was as clear as if it were yesterday. Cullen would take her anger any day, even if it was directed towards him, if it meant never seeing her scared again. "Come on. Let's get you out of here."
She followed him through the rest of the tunnels that exited beneath the Gallows in the dungeon. The stone cages and iron bars made her just as uncomfortable as being underground when they moved past each cell. Cullen discarded her torch with a stack of others; no need for it any longer in the lit area. "Quiet down here," Solona commented.
"Not all Circles have need for their prisons," Cullen replied. "I wouldn't have suggested you come in this way had anyone been here."
"Where are we going?" she asked as they approached the stairs that led to the exit of the dungeons.
"Home," he told her. "Quiet once we leave here; I've cleared the route of patrols but we will be passing the templar quarters."
Solona nodded, nerves piercing her insides again. She removed her shoes and carried them so there wasn't a second echo of footsteps in the hall. She tried to match Cullen's stride and stick to the walls as much as possible should someone exit their room.
Cullen appeared a little less fearful, though he too was nervous as they walked. It was late; he chose this particular time for her to enter the Gallows because he knew most of his men would be fast asleep. In the hours that passed between Solona leaving his office and nightfall, Cullen had a surprise inspection and drills to exhaust them. Not that they couldn't use the practice, he justified to himself.
They came to the end of one hall that split in two directions. To the left was the mage quarters; the cold gray stone giving it that lifeless feel. Knowing it was a prison in older times, it was obvious the original structure remained with very few changes. It even felt cold to look down the poorly lit hall that led to hundreds of mages sleeping soundly in their beds.
In the opposite direction was the templar quarters. From what Solona could see from the construction, the salmon colored stone was an addition to the original Gallows and not part of the prison itself. The hall was well lit, the stone carpeted , and several tapestries decorated the walls. Cullen led her down the corridor to the end, where he unlocked the large door to his quarters.
It took her a minute to realize that her mouth was open as she took in all that she could see. The room was much larger than his old pace in Kinloch Hold; a perk to being Knight-Commander she imagined. The main room had a fireplace on the back wall with a red-cushioned couch in front of it. On her right were a few bookshelves and his desk, to the left a large bed and an armoire. Armor and weapon stand along the wall with the door...it was the bigger than some homes she had been in. "Kitchen and washroom," Cullen pointed towards two doors on opposite sides of the room.
"I should've been a templar," she said walking towards the bed, her bare feet sinking into the soft plush of the carpet. "And for someone who's suppose to be celibate, this bed is way too big."
Cullen felt his cheeks burn as they flushed, and began walking towards the kitchen before she could notice. "Uh...tea?"
Solona sat on the bed to test its softness. "Would be lovely," she said. "Thank you."
She watched as he disappeared to busy himself in the kitchen. The vaulted ceiling, the large colored glass windows, it was overwhelming to her that he was now living like this. He seemed happy, content even, and suddenly guilt began to creep up inside her. Solona quickly pushed those thoughts away as she lay down on the bed. Maker she wished she had a bed like this.
Meanwhile in the kitchen, Cullen did his best to try and forget about the woman in the next room. It was near impossible though when he heard the familiar creak of wood under his bed. She was here, in his space, his home, laying on his bed. He busied himself with pouring water into the iron kettle, preparing tea leaves, and then found two cups that they could use. He had never had a guest in his private space before; it surprised him he even owned two cups.
When he gathered his nerve again he left the comfort of the kitchen and entered the main room. "I know you prefer honey," he said as he settled the kettle onto the rack in the fireplace. "I'm afraid I don't have any."
A lack of response caused him to turn around and he saw that she was fast asleep on his bed. Cullen placed the cups quietly on his desk and retrieved the blanket off his couch. He brought it over to the bed and covered her up, careful not to wake her. He had wondered all day why the Seekers would be after her, but he didn't have the heart to wake her to get his answers. He returned to the fire and prepared his tea, and then spent the rest of the night watching her sleep.
