Authors Note: I had originally intended for this story to be a one shot. But I think I'll continue it, at least for now. I'm not sure how long it'll end up being. Pease review and let me know what you think of it. I appreciate comments greatly! This chapter is a little shorter than the last because I didn't want to mess with the flow. Thanks so much for reading!
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Chapter Two : It's Complicated
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"Can't you hear that boom, badoom, boom, boom, badoom, boom, hey! Aria, turn that back on," Hanna glared at her friend and reached over to turn the radio back on.
"No. No more Super Bass. I'm cutting you off," Aria replied, swatting the blonde's hand away from the radio dial.
The drab pavement rushed past as Aria quickly navigated through small side streets. The sun was low and would soon disappear in the darkening ski. There was a slight breeze in the air, ruffling at Hanna's golden hair and tickling Aria's pert nose.
"Emily always lets me listen to the whole song," Hanna wined, her lip jutting out dramatically.
"I'm sorry but, I can only listen to you rap so many times. You miss half the words anyway," she pointed out logically. Aria reached out and flipped through the radio stations as Hanna continued to pout.
"Emily doesn't mind when I miss the words," she muttered.
"Hanna, if you use the Emily excuse one more time…" Aria warned. She knew that Hanna was upset because Emily was leaving. But she also knew that Hanna was being dramatic about things, as per usual.
"I don't even want to go to this stupid sleepover," the blonde grumbled miserably.
"Yes you do. You just don't want to say goodbye to Em. None of us do," Aria replied, reaching out to pat Hanna's arm. The girls were on their way to Spencer's house, where they would have one last sleepover before Emily left.
"I don't know how to say goodbye," Hanna whispered sadly. Aria looked at the blonde briefly, taking in her downcast eyes and slouching shoulders. With a quiet sigh, Aria reached out and backtracked the radio until the car began vibrating with a gentle beat.
"Go ahead," she told Hanna with a small smile. Hanna's eye brightened as the sound of Super Bass filled the car yet again. "Boom badoom, boom, boom," Aria began to sing. Hanna laughed and sat up a bit.
"Badoom, boom," the girls sang together, Hanna tapping her feat rhythmically. "He got that super bass," she sang loudly. The dark emotions that had been swirling throughout the car were soon drown out by off key notes and musical laugher. It was easier to enjoy what they had now, then to dwell on what they would soon lose.
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"Who wants more ice cream?" Hanna jumped up and held her empty bowl in the air. Spencer leaned back and groaned.
"None for me," she muttered, rubbing her stomach. Aria shook her head in concurrence.
"I think I broke my belly," she quietly pondered. Emily laughed and stood up, walking to Hanna's side.
"I could use another scoop," she smiled. Hanna caught Emily's eye and bit her lip, smiling just slightly.
"Shall we?" she asked, holding out her arm gallantly. Emily giggled and linked her arm with Hanna's own. With the sound of Aria and Spencer groaning behind them, the girls made their way down to the kitchen.
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"This is the first time we've been alone since…" Emily trailed off unsurely. She looked down, feeling stupid for mentioned the night they had spent together.
"Since we kissed?" Hanna supplied, smiling lightly. "You can say the words Em, it happened and I'm not going to pretend it didn't," she assured the brunette.
"Yeah. It did happen," Emily agree, blushing prettily. Hanna began scooping ice cream into her bowl, looking up briefly to see the red of Emily's cheeks.
"I don't regret it," she said after a moment. She knew that Emily must have been afraid of what would happen next, of how the kiss would affect their friendship. But Hanna wasn't the type to run scared, not from something she felt so strongly about.
"Good," Emily whispered in return. "I just, it changes things. Right?" she continued, looking nervous.
"Only if we want it to," Hanna replied, putting away the ice cream and dropping the scoop in the sink.
"I don't know, I feel like I don't know anything anymore," Emily admitted, chuckling bitterly.
"We're best friends, we kissed, you're moving, and it's complicated. I get that. I'm not asking for anything Em." Hanna leaned against the counter, looking more mature than Emily could ever remember her looking. She was standing in front of Emily, fearless and honest. She had never been more beautiful.
"So we can just leave things… open?" Emily wondered unsurely.
"Undefined," Hanna agreed, walking around the counter to stand beside Emily.
"Can I…" Emily pause, feeling breathless. "Can I kiss you?" she asked, her voice catching at the end. Hanna's eyes widened at the bold question, but she quickly replied with a small nod.
Hanna felt her nerves tingle with anticipation. Emily leaned forward slowly, her eyes locked diligently on Hanna's parted lips. The kitchen buzzed as time seemed to slow, and Emily moved slowly to bridge the gap between the two girls. Finally, finally her lips found their way to Hanna's own.
"What are you two doing down there?" Spencer called from upstairs. The girls sprang apart, laughing quietly. They could still feel a slight tingle on their lips, though they had only touched for a moment.
"Coming queen Hastings," Hanna's yelled in reply. She caught Emily's downward gaze and quickly took the brunette's hand.
With a solid tug, she pulled Emily's body to her own. She took hold of her neck with her free hand and pulled her forward even more. Leaning up, Hanna placed a sound kiss on Emily's mouth. Their lips moved against each other firmly, applying pressure and fighting for power. Hanna's own confidence had pushed Emily to be bold. With one final peck, the girls moved apart and smiled openly at one another.
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"Let's play a game!"
"Let's not," Spencer replied, rolling her eyes.
"Don't be a party pooper Spence," Hanna warned, poking the taller girl in the arm. The girls were sprawled around Spencer room, bottles of alcohol and bowls of food littered carelessly. The innocence of ice cream and movies had been left behind hours ago, and Hanna had pull out sever bottle of her favorite party favors.
"Yeah Spence," Aria giggle, feeling the effects of her second rum and coke.
"Your games are never fun," she whined, glaring at Hanna.
"Let's take a vote," Aria suggested brightly. She set her cup down and sat up straight, doing her best to look official. "All in favor of playing a fun game?"
"Me!" Hanna giggled, shooting her hand up. Emily laughed at her friend and shook her head, still sipping her vodka and cranberry juice.
"Me," Aria said, raising her own and waving it frantically.
"Not me," Spencer said, crossing her arms stubbornly.
"Em…" Aria prodded.
"I don't know," she answered.
"Come on! Please Em," Hanna popped her bottom lip out and gave her best puppy look.
"Hey! Foul, I call foul. No pleading looks!" Spencer called, pointing accusingly.
"The ref deems the puppy look to be fair," Aria called. Emily laughed and looked around at her friends, knowing that she would never find anything like what she had in this room at this moment.
"Okay, okay fine. I'm in," she agreed.
"Yes!" Hanna cried, grabbing Emily's arm and raising it in the air.
"Woo!" Aria cheered, raising her glass and smiling widely.
"Foul!" Spencer continued to chant.
Nothing could ever compare to this. This moment. These girl. Emily willed her smile to remain in place as she felt the tears prick at her eyes. She didn't know how she was going to say goodbye to this.
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After several attempts at truth or dare, and a failed round of "Go Fish", the girls had finally given up on the games and settled into comfortable positions to talk.
"Do you ever wonder what would have happened if Caleb didn't leave?" Aria asked Hanna. Emily looked at the blonde curiously, wondering if the alcohol would tempt an honest answer.
"No," Hanna replied shortly. The girl looked at her expectantly. She eventually rolled her eyes and continued, "I'll never forget Caleb. But we don't have a future together," she finished.
"So what? He served his purpose?" Aria asked, giggling at her words.
"Shut up," Hanna said, throwing a pillow at the brunette.
"No, I think I know what Hanna means. It's like with Wren, what we had could never have lasted. But it was… special," she admitted.
"Did you and Wren have sex?" Hanna asked suddenly. Spencer 's mouth dropped open and Aria laughed out loud. Emily covered her own laughter with a hand and looked away.
"Hanna!" Spencer exclaimed.
"What? He was really hot, and you said he was…special," she giggled.
" I am not answering that," she refused determinedly.
"She totally did," Emily piped up knowingly.
"Oh yeah, she hit that," Aria added. Shooting Aria a surprised look, Spencer reached out and took the smaller girl's cup.
"That's enough of that for you," she warned, setting the alcohol aside.
"The better question is this," Aria began, unaffected by her lack of drink. "Has Emily ever had sex with a guy?" she finished.
"Oh yeah, have you Em? Or have you only done stuff with girls?" Spencer asked, wiggling her eyebrows. Hanna remained quiet and let her gaze flitter across Emily's long form.
"Um…" she looked down nervously.
"It's okay, you don't have to answer," Spencer added quickly.
"Yes she does," Aria exclaimed.
"No she doesn't," Hanna growled, nudging Aria.
"I will, I mean, I might as well. If I can't talk to my best friends about this stuff, who can I talk to?" she assured them. "I um, I've never had sex with a guy. I've never even wanted to," she explained.
"But with girls?" Hanna asked quietly.
"Yeah, yeah. With Maya…" she replied. Aria and Spencer smiled and "awed" at her admittance. Hanna tried to smile but she felt a pit of something cold in her gut; jealously.
"Was it good," she found herself asking.
"Hanna," Emily turned to her, frowning slightly.
"That's a little personal," Spencer chuckled, unaware of the tension between the two girl. Emily kept her eyes trained on Hanna's face, but the blonde refused to say anything more.
"I uh…" Emily began to speak, knowing that she needed to answer, even if Hanna had asked at the wrong place and the wrong time. "It felt right. Begin with a girl, and being with Maya. But that was then…" she explained.
"And now?" Hanna asked, still not looking satisfied with the response.
"Maya's gone. And I missed her for a long time. But now that I'm leaving, now that I'm leaving all of you… it doesn't seem… I don't know. I missed Maya, but it doesn't compare to the way I'm gonna miss you," her words indicated that she was speaking about all of them, but her eyes locked with Hanna and her meaning was clear.
The girls remained silent for a moment, all of them letting the weight of things sink in. It was easy to laugh and drink and be silly. It was easy to pretend that this was just another sleepover. But it wasn't. Emily was leaving, and they were all terrified about what that would mean for them.
Because it would mean something. And it would change everything.
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