One day while they were having a rare leisurely lunch break at the Busy Bee, Walt offered Vic a couple of choices for their first 'official' hike. "We could start with a pretty straightforward but scenic hike up to Circle Lake. It would be about three miles each way and an elevation gain of about 1800 feet. There's a real pretty lake up there. Or, we could take the Solitude Peak trail and do a bit of a longer loop to the base of the peak and back. That one is nice because we would take one route up and another back, but…" Walt paused and let his sentence trail off, "but that one may not be….hmmm…" Walt seemed to be unable to complete his thought.
"What, Walt?" Vic asked as she gulped her Diet Coke. "I didn't hear that last bit." Walt didn't give a reply. He took another bite of his sandwich.
Vic, knowing 'Walt speak', let him take his time to express himself. Since she had no experience in these matters she let him decide. She sensed that he was leaning towards the first choice. Maybe there was some association with Martha and one of those locations. "What do you want to do? Either is fine with me. You choose."
Walt seemed to breathe a sigh of relief and opted for the first hike. Vic thought to herself, 'maybe that other one is some place he would rather not revisit.' 'Or', she thought to herself, a little disappointed, 'maybe he thinks I'm not capable of doing the other hike?' Walt offered no explanation and Vic decided not to push the issue. She was happy enough to be starting with any hike.
A few days later, they met up for their expedition. Since the hike was going to be a few hours in length, Walt made sure that they both had a full bottle of water, a juice box, sandwich, apple and some trail mix. He had also stashed a couple of protein bars and fruit leather packets in ziploc bags in each of their packs, making sure to point out that these were "for emergency consumption only!"
They shared a laugh at that last comment. "You mean that basic hunger doesn't constitute an emergency?" Vic grinned. "That's right," Walt laughed in return, deliberately bumping into Vic's shoulder with his own.
Vic brought a lightweight rain jacket with her as extra clothing, although the forecast was for warm clear weather. Walt had an old fleece vest and a mini first aid kit with him. And, being old school like he was, he also had a topo map of the area and his compass. Unknown to Vic, Walt had also stowed a micro survival package containing an emergency space blanket, a few yards of flagging tape, about 20 feet of thin cord, a big square of tin foil, matches, a candle and a large piece of plastic sheeting. It all compacted well into a small package at the bottom of his pack. Eventually once they got moving, he was going to walk Vic through some emergency procedures, like how to use the sheet of plastic to rig up a quick shelter, and how to use the foil as a base for the candle. Of course Walt always had his gun and pocket knife with him.
He felt pretty good about their pending adventure. He was glad they were doing the Circle Lake hike. Vic was in good shape (better than he was), and she was sensible. She'd keep her head in an emergency and she had also been quick to catch on to the rudimentary navigational demo he had given her earlier. He had pointed out some of the major landmarks that they would be seeing on their hike, and how they could be identified on the map. He was going to have to explain again what the difference was between magnetic and true north. As well, he would explain again why he had to set his compass declination to +9 degrees (positive/east) for Wyoming, to compensate for the difference between true and magnetic north. He had looked up Philadelphia too, which would mean a – 12 degree (negative/west) declination and was going to use that as an example that Vic could relate to. They could get into all that stuff later. 'Hmmm….,' he thought to himself - that was going to be a challenge to explain, particularly when younger people were always wanting to use electronic devices. He enjoyed the challenge of navigating with a map and compass, but not everyone understood how to do it. But Vic was smart and would catch on quickly. He was determined not to give up this kind of specialized knowledge, in favour of a GPS device. 'Besides', he thought…'sometimes the damn GPS devices don't work in cloudy weather.' On a hunting trip last year, he had witnessed Omar's special device encountering problems in heavily treed areas, or when bad weather got in the way of the GPS unit connecting with satellites. Walt knew that Vic liked learning new things and she often made him feel like there was value in what he had to say.
It also felt really good to Walt that he and Vic would be having some fun together. He began to feel ok about things in his world again. For a long time he hadn't felt good about much at all, but lately he felt as though he might have turned a corner, thanks, in part, to the way Vic had entered and had added joy to his life. He suspected Vic felt that way too sometimes. He felt that they could actually emerge from the past with hope for a shared future.
They really enjoyed the hike up to the lake. The weather was ideal for what they had planned – it was warm with a few wispy clouds high in the sky. Vic was comfortable with all her gear and Walt felt that he was in good enough shape to keep up with Vic and not draw attention to his worries about being "too old" for Vic. He was also looking forward to seeing the lake again.
They enjoyed making good progress uphill, taking only a few short breaks to enjoy the view or to have a sip of water. Walt lingered in place at times, enjoying their brief touches, and the scent of Vic and her slightly messed up hair. At one point, he held his topo map out for her to see, and gave a brief demonstration of old school map and compass operation. He felt very light and relaxed.
On one such break Walt had to catch his breath when he had a flash of a memory of Martha. They had both made this particular hike many years ago, not long after they got married and before Cady was born. The old gnarled lightning-struck tree at the bend in the trail reminded him of that moment and how it represented the life he led many years ago. He wasn't sure how Vic would feel if he let her know of this memory, so left things silent for now. He still struggled with reconciling his past life with Martha and his possible future with Vic. Maybe he should talk to Henry about it again since his old friend had a real knack at helping Walt put things into perspective.
After several hours of hiking, and two snack breaks, Vic needed to stop to use "the little girl's room", as she put it. "Just where am I supposed to go?" she barked at Walt. She really didn't mean to snap at him, but it was the smirk on his face that set her off. Over the years Walt had enjoyed a number of camping and fishing trips with Martha, Henry and Cady, and had heard all the complaints before. "Well, you can go over there behind those bushes," he motioned. "Just don't go near any poison ivy," he chuckled, knowing that there was none in the area. But Vic didn't know that. She quickly took care of her needs, and emerged from the bushes, to find a snickering Walt. "Ha ha," she said.
A while later, they were sitting in some scrub grass just to the side of the trail taking a break. Walt had removed his outer plaid shirt revealing a blue t-shirt. Vic eyed him while she took a long draw of water. She could see a pink scar about two inches long, marking Walt's upper left arm. It was from the bullet graze from Chance Gilbert's gun. She reached over and touched it lightly with her fingers. "Do you ever dream about that night?"
Walt looked off in the distance for a while before he spoke. "Yup. From time to time," Walt answered. He paused. "Sometimes it's more of a flashback than a dream. I can see the dead body of that census worker in the freezer. He had a sort of grimace on his face that was grotesque. And in my mind I can still see your face when you were standing on that porch just before you were let go." Walt reached over to Vic and pulled her into a gentle embrace. "I thought I was going to lose you that night. The thought made me sick to my stomach then…it still does. There was so much I wanted to say to you after all that, but I just couldn't. You were still married to Sean. I just figured that eventually we might be able to talk about it all."
Vic lifted her head from where it was leaning on Walt's chest. Looking deeply into his eyes, she confessed to having some nightmares of her own in the months following the ordeal. "And flashbacks too. They come at the strangest times," she explained.
"You mean like when you saw that baseball bat at the Jacky house?" Walt asked quietly. "Yeah…that was weird and really threw me off. I didn't want to tell you. Walt, how do you know whether it's a flashback or a bad memory?"
"I don't know. I think maybe a memory comes on more slowly and you can think about parts of it if you want or like and you can even revisit a memory, but I think a flashback is more intense and it seems uncontrollable. And I think sometimes people can have both. It's ok Vic…I know this hasn't been easy for you…you didn't give me much detail about what happened that night. I'll be a good listener if you want to tell me more about it."
"I know," said Vic. "The worst trigger so far has been a motorcycle helmet," she added. "Didn't tell you about that part either." Vic let her words hang there for a while and chose not to elaborate. Walt didn't press her for more details, thinking that Vic would gradually let him in on it when she was ready.
Once refreshed from their break, they resumed their hike. At last they reached the lake and enjoyed another break at the water's edge, this time for a longer period of time. "Ever go skinny dipping?" Vic asked with a grin. "Sure, lots of times when we were younger," Walt said with a smile. "Lake's too cold at the moment and I'm too old for that," Walt said (thinking he was a bit too flabby and just maybe a bit too old for that). He and Henry had done that plenty of times in their youth, and he and Martha had shared in that as well when they were first married. They didn't have any money for vacations, and thus hiking and camping were common activities for the young married couple. Skinny dipping should be an Olympic sport for newlyweds, Walt thought.
Thankfully Walt and Vic had the lake mostly to themselves, catching a glimpse of only two other people walking around the path at the far end of the lake. The sun's rays were making dappled lines between the trees, and the shade providing a bit of coolness for them as they made a circle of the lake and then started back home.
The hike was deemed a success. Both were pretty tired at the conclusion, but were happy. Vic was pleased with herself – the hike had been a great chance to be with Walt outside of work, her fitness level had improved, and she was able to adapt to the wilderness challenge and actually enjoy herself. She also wanted to be comfortable in the outdoors and not spoil any of the experience for Walt. Her worst fear was that she would be seen as a sissy. Her strength and comfort in the woods pleased her greatly. Walt too, was pleased. He was able to keep up with a very fit Vic and it brought tremendous pleasure to him, seeing Vic really enjoying herself in a new activity.
Later that night, Vic scrolled through the photos she had taken that day. There were some duds that she quickly deleted. She really liked the ones she had captured of the lake and the trees. She smiled as she paused to look at a particularly well composed shot of Walt standing tall, looking at the lake before him. He was so natural looking, unaware that Vic was taking his photo. He looked so good in that blue t-shirt and jeans. Even with his hair messed up, he was handsome and relaxed. Although the photo captured a private moment, Vic thought she might get it printed and framed for herself. She smiled and had happy thoughts of adventures to come.
