I have always loved Morgan Jones and always thought that he would be perfect for Carol. He was kind, gentle, and loving. Then the writers made him crazy, but he was cured 'cause the Muse said so. Carol deserves a chance for happiness with Morgan but I haven't totally given up on Daryl either.
Crazy is the New Normal
Morgan was glad to be out of chains and Carol helped him into the house and made a bed for him in the living room. He was exhausted by the time he got there and only wanted to lie down. He liked the living room. Someone had boarded up the windows neatly and there were plenty of books. The couch was comfortable and there was an oil lamp on the table beside the couch. The place was clean and neat. It felt reasonable safe.
Carol had gone into the kitchen and brought back some sweet tea. She showed him where the first floor bathroom was and sat down in the comfortable chair across from the couch. They smiled at each other like old friends and Morgan thought that she was remarkably beautiful especially when she smiled.
"You aren't from here, are you?" he asked.
"No, I lived in Georgia most of my life. I was married and had a little girl." Carol thought that was enough information to give out. "Where are you from?"
"I grew up on army bases and didn't have a real home until I got married. My wife's name was Jenny and Duane was our son's name. I was teaching history at a small college in Georgia when everything changed. We tried to make it to Atlanta but my wife got bit. Duane and I stayed in that town until he got bit. Then it was just me and I need to tell you that I had some sort of breakdown. I just stayed in that town and cleared out walkers day after day. Month after month. I got a little better when an old friend came by but I wouldn't leave. Then one day, I just got up and gathered up my supplies. I left that town and was lucky enough to find some kind people who took me in and I got better. I knew I was better when I realized how crazy I had been."
Carol thought that Morgan liked to talk; that was probably a good thing if you taught history. She didn't fault him for having a breakdown. "Crazy is the new normal, didn't you get the memo?"
Morgan winced a little but had to agree, "It's the degree that of insanity that matters. I came back from Crazy Town and now live in Not Quite as Crazy Town. And you have that look again".
Carol said, "You need to rest".
Morgan protested, "I really don't. I like talking to you. I think we went to different schools together". Carol looked puzzled, "My mother used to say that. Different schools together means that you met someone who is like an old friend because you have similar experiences".
Carol looked at Morgan. She did feel a bond between them. They had both lost a spouse and a child. They were both alone and had done things that others couldn't understand. "I hated my husband; he made my life a living hell. I happily chopped up his head after he was killed by walkers."
"I loved Jenny and couldn't put her down. I tried time after time but just couldn't do it. She was wandering around on the street and I just couldn't do it. Duane and I were out scavenging one day and she bit him. I put them both down then and went to Crazy Town." Morgan was glad that he had been able to tell the story without falling apart.
"We were hiding under cars until the herd passed by. Sophia was under a different car away from me. She got scared and ran into the woods. We didn't find her until weeks late and she was a walker. Someone in our group put her down in front of me. I was too weak to protect her then. I don't like anyone to get too close to me since then." Carol got up then and told Morgan good night. She went to sleep in the bedroom. The windows were all boarded up on the bottom floor. Carol thought that the couple probably worked together to board up the windows. Sometime after that they had decided to go out together.
Carol wondered why she had told Morgan that she didn't like anyone to get too close. She loved Lizzie and Mika but had been reluctant to take on a guardianship role with them. She loved Daryl but had never expected that he would want to be intimate with her. She had appreciated his friendship though and she missed him. She wondered where he was and if he was looking out for Lizzie and Mika for her. She wished they were here and thought about Daryl being here in this bed with her. She was surprised by the way her body reacted to that thought and laughed to herself. Poor Daryl would probably run from the bed if she touched him.
She dreamed of Daryl that night. He was standing at a window in some building. There were people sleeping around him. Lizzie and Mika were sleeping close together. Daryl seemed so alone in the dream and she had reached out in her dream and hugged him close to her.
…..
Daryl was on watch in a temporary shelter. The remnants that he had gathered together were asleep and he was making sure that there wasn't anything out there that would hurt them. He could see Lizzie and Mika cuddled together like they always slept. Daryl watched over them very carefully. They were Carol's children and he couldn't bear to think that she would lose them too. He wondered where Carol was tonight. He had never found her but somehow believed that she was still alive. She was out there somewhere and someday he would find her. He was going to grab her and hold her close and never let her go when he found her. His body reminded what he had been so careful to suppress around Carol. He didn't even bother with suppressing it anymore. He wanted her and he had been too busy taking care of busyness at the prison to show her how he felt.
Daryl had accepted what Carol had done. He trusted her; she would have only done that if Karen and David were suffering and were dying. He knew her; she wasn't a cold blooded killer. That wasn't her. He couldn't forgive Rick. He had thrown Carol away like a worn out shoe. Daryl could still hear him say, "I told her that nobody would want her". Daryl felt that familiar rage flow through him when he remembered how he had shouted at Rick that day, "I want her". Some day he would say to Carol, "I love you and I want you".
This group was wandering around looking for a place and Daryl was gradually moving them toward higher ground. Carol had once told him that her father's family was from the North Carolina mountains. There were too many walkers here and Daryl was moving his group toward those mountains where there were more trees and less people. He was cautious and they were moving slowly but surely north and west bypassing cities and towns.
Daryl was worried that he was losing it. He was convinced that he was going to find Carol after all this time while he moved farther and farther from the place where she was last seen. He was set upon moving his group out of Georgia and into North Carolina. He was following a ghost and it felt right to him. He must be crazy because he had always thought that crazy people thought they were sane when they did crazy things.
Daryl decided to go with his instincts and they were telling him to get his people out of Georgia because the herds were clumping together. It would take an army to stop a herd and he only had few adults and several children. He would take them to higher ground to find a safer place. That was a rational decision. His belief that he would find Carol there was irrational but it made him start every day with a plan that brought him closer to her. She was out there somewhere and he was going to find her.
