A/N: Not awfully happy with this chapter, but I promised myself I'd update today since I was off school with a sickness bug that's being spread around. Maybe a little OOC at some points but just remember it's AU. Thank you to my friend as always for inspiring me to write this story. Hopefully back with an update soon!

Disclaimer: As always, I only own the computer I wrote this on and I don't even own the sofa I was sitting on whilst. None of these characters or anything to do with Gilmore Girls has, and ever will, be mine. No copyright infringement intended. (That's what it is, right?)


Jess meets Rory Gilmore on a Saturday. It's not an important Saturday, it's unsignificant to his life as a whole, but in a few years, he'd maybe consider it as the day that saved him. "This is Rory," Luke says, gesturing to a girl with a small frame who's dressed in a preppy uniform. Pretty. Probably a bitch, he guesses. "She's Lorelai's daughter."

"Nice to meet you," Rory says with a polite smile, shaking his hand.

He smiles back as well and repeats what she said, nodding slightly at her. Lorelai has a fake smile on as she watches the interaction carefully, almost afraid of Jess turning her little girl bad.

He's wearing a thin, long-sleeved, white shirt. You can almost see his scars through the thin material, but only if you stare long and hard. It's a bad idea, he knows, but it was the only shirt available to wear and Luke was urging him along, yelling to come on, that they'll be late.

It goes badly, to say the least. He drinks beer, pisses off Lorelai, makes assumptions and upsets Rory. "I'm sorry," he says to her on his way out, shrugging a little. "I didn't mean anything by what I said."

"It's okay," she says. Jess still feels like shit, like he wants to go home and let it all out on himself. But he can't, because he's set himself a goal now. Try and be proud of staying clean. Try and stay clean for as long as possible. Don't die.

"No, it's not."

"It is, Jess, don't worry," Rory says. "Here, why don't we take a trip down to the lake? It's pretty peaceful down there. I know you probably want to get away from my mom and Luke and I can be un-irritating when I need to be."

"You're not irritating in the first place," he says casually, sending a small smile her way. She blushes, her cheekings turning a light shade of pink.

"Mom, Jess and I are gonna go for a walk down by the lake. We won't be late. See you soon!"

They don't talk on the walk, not really. Short sentences and forgetful words are exchanged and it doesn't matter what happens on the walk, not really, but Jess is focused on what's going to happen at the lake. He knows he's unstable, visibly unstable, by the way he shakes when he talks and the hollowness of his face.

They arrive at the lake only eight minutes later—Rory times it—and take a seat on the bridge. "So..."

And then that's when the awkward chitchat begins. It's comprised of talk of school, home life, Luke, Babette and Miss Patty and all of the random shit that he really couldn't care less about but Rory obviously does. He makes her laugh at one point, so hard that she snorts a little, obviously disgusting herself. "Oh, God! I'm sorry, that was probably gross and... I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It was cute." He doesn't let him think about it, not really, but Rory goes bright red.

"Um... I have a boyfriend."

"Good for you." Jess says with a smirk.

"So... you seem pretty mad at the world," Rory says out of nowhere.

Jess is taken aback by the question and takes a minute to recover, but when he does, he decides to only say, "Yeah."

"Why?"

"Why do you think I'm gonna tell you, some stranger that I just met, all of my problems in the world? You're nice but I don't know you. No way." Rory looks hurt slightly but doesn't let it show too much.

"I'd tell you my problems but I don't have many. Paris is still pretty much a bitch but she's one of my good friends and I love her, I guess, so it's okay, and my dad is still partially AWOL from my life, as per usual, but I've got Luke as consolation. And my mom... is still my best friend in the world. So, I'm okay. But you're not."

"No, I'm not. But that's okay, I guess. I'm okay with the un-okayness, if that makes sense."

"It makes sense."

There's silence for a while as Rory fiddles around with a little teddy bear that she keeps in her pocket every day. She throws it into the air and catches it multiple times, and Jess watches in amazement, mesmerised. And then the teddy bear falls into the lake and begins floating around, going downstream, further and further away.

Rory calls out and Jess springs into action. Without thinking about it, he rolls up his sleeves and dives into the water. He swims around until he finally gets hold of it, gripping it tightly in the palm of his hand. It takes a few minutes, but he finally makes his way back to the bridge, where Rory is sitting with a terrified look on her face.

"Oh, my God, I'm so sorry, Jess, you didn't have to-" she starts, tears running down her face quickly.

"Don't worry about it," he says, handing her the soaked teddy bear. "He was looking a little dirty anyway, that was probably good for him."

Rory smiles a little at her new friend, letting a laugh escape her pale pink lips. That is until she catches sight of the bright red marks on his wrists and she comes to an abrupt halt. "Jess."

"Rory."

"What's that? On your wrists. What's that? Are those cuts?" she asks, beginning to feel sick.

"Um..." Jess says, turning paler than he already was (if possible). "It's not what it... I'm not..."

"Have you been self-harming?" The question hits Jess like a tonne of bricks. He doesn't call it that. He calls it stress relieving. This isn't real, he tries to tell himself. This isn't real.

"I guess. But I'm clean. Two days." And it sounds so pathetic now that he actually says it aloud. Two days. Two fucking days. Two days is nothing compared to some people.

"I'm proud of you," she says, but he doesn't feel the pride.

"Yeah."

"I am, Jess. Two days can be a lot to some people."

"It's hard. 'Cause for so long I was used to doing it everyday, y'know? Come home, read a couple of chapters of a book, then I'd go get them out. Or I'd get my lighter. Didn't matter. The pain wasn't painful anymore. I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be a complete and utter stereotype." He says with a bitter laugh.

"It's okay. When did you start?"

"When I was thirteen. There was nothing else to do and my wrists looked too empty. I wanted to make a mark on the world but I was too young, too small, too unknown. I couldn't make a mark on the whole world so I made a mark on my world."

And then it's quiet and Rory can't say anything and Jess doesn't want to, but finally he says, "I tried to kill myself before."

"How many times?" Rory asks, afraid of the answer.

"Three."

"When?"

"When I was fourteen, when I was sixteen and two months, seventeen days ago. The first time was really dark. I was going through a really hard time in my life and I physically couldn't stop it. No matter what I did. He said if I told my mom he'd kill us both, and I wouldn't of listened with anyone else."

"What happened?" she questions, resting her hand on his leg.

"I don't really wanna talk about it. Just know that I'm broken, and that I don't like my life or myself, but I'm not really gonna die anytime soon."

"You'll be okay, Jess Mariano."

It's not really a comfort, but it's nice to know she thinks so.