I see her walk in with a basin in both her hands and put it on the bedside table next to me.
"Robert, does it still hurt?" Cora asks as she sits on the chair next to the bed." Your head, does it still hurt?"
Robert. Yes, my name.
I note it again to myself.
Robert Crawley.
It is not hard accepting a name, but it is rather overwhelming when some people who came into the room earlier started calling me Milord, Lord Grantham, Papa, Grandpapa and there was this little girl who called me Donk.
Cora whispered to me that little girl's name is Sybbie and that she is one of my three grandchildren. The little girl greeted me several times with, "Good Morning, Donk". I was confused so I just looked at her. She was crying and clutching on me tightly when I could not recognize her. "Donk, do you forget Sybbie?" She asked between her sobs. I did not know what to say, I just patted her little head until she fell asleep. A rather decent looking young man named Tom walked in, he said that he is my son in law and Sybbie's father. He said he'd take Sybbie back to her room; I let him did just that.
It troubles me that I really cannot remember anything about having such a lovely family.
How can I not remember my own mother, wife, children, and grandchildren? How can I not remember so many servants and being a Lord of the estate?
When I try to force myself to remember, my head hurts even more. It scares me not being able to remember anything at all. It also makes me feel so very sorry when I recall their faces of absolute concerns when I could not recognized any of them when they walk into the room - especially Sybbie's teary eyes and little hands clutching on my sleeves.
I feel a soft touch on my arm, it's Cora.
"Your head does it still hurt?" She asks me again, she has been waiting for my answer. She is so patient with me.
I don't want to worry her so I shake my head and smile at her. My head actually still ache a little but if I mention it she will make this worried face. I don't know why but I don't like it when she looks worried.
Satisfied with my answer Cora smiles at me then proceeds to massage my legs and arms for some time. She said the massage is good for my muscle since I am not allowed to get up and move them freely just yet.
I feel like I have to say something or to ask something, but I stay silent. Her movement is mesmerizing.
After a while Cora then turns towards the basin on the table beside the bed, the one that she brought in with her. She touches the water inside the basin testing the temperature; she pulls out a little white napkin from the basin and makes a little twist on it. The dripping sounds of the little drops of water from the napkin fills the room. She folds the little napkin and starts to wipe my face and neck with it, she is pretty careful not to wet the bandages around my head.
Her hands and movement are soft and I can see her face pretty up-close. She has the most striking blue eyes with wrinkles around the sides that when she is gazing attentively at me like this the wrinkles become more apparent, but they really do suit her. Her dark curled hair and hairlines are shaping the top of her face perfectly. Her nose is tiny. Her lips are lovely.
Cora.
I might have stared for too long at her that when I take notice again those striking blue eyes are focusing on me, her brows furrowed deeply. Blushing with embarrassment I quickly turn my gaze down to my hands.
"Forgive me.." I apologize to her. It seems like the only right thing to do for being caught staring at her.
"It is okay Robert, I am your wife. You can look at me as long as you want. I just thought that your head might hurt again." She explains.
I shake my head and say, "No, it is not that. You have the most striking blue eyes." I tell her.
She stays still upon my words and there's moisture start to form in her eyes.
"Did I say something to offend you? If I do I apologize.. Cora." I don't want to make things uncomfortable for her.
Cora shakes her head. "No," she says and chokes up a laugh. She blinks back the moisture in her eyes, "It's just, that's the first thing you said to me when we first met on a ball in London many years ago Robert."
"Was it?" I ask. "How did it go?" I do want to know; perhaps if I know more I might remember again.
"It's the first ball for the season," she starts. "On that evening because of the rumor of my American huge dowry and my mother's influences I already had my dance card filled with names." She blushes a little before she continues. "At the ball if a gentleman's name is on a lady's dance card, it means that the lady already promises him a dance." She explains.
I nod. It sounds familiar.
"I was supposed to dance with the first gentleman on my list. But you approached me and talked to me. You told me I had the most striking blue eyes. You were really kind and funny. The first gentleman I was supposed to dance too already was dancing with another lady he couldn't wait for me to finished talking to you. I told you that and you offered yourself to me. So, you were my very first dance partner for the season. You paid me a visit the next day; you told me that you heard of my dowry after the ball, about yourself and about Downton. You were so young and were so honest. For the coming weeks you made me happy and laugh like none of the other gentlemen could. As the season came to an end, you proposed to me on a walk at the garden. I said yes right away because I knew I'd found love. I knew you were the one the first time I saw you at the ball." She says, looking at me with those eyes. "And because you could stand my mother and her antiques." She laughs.
I chuckle too. It seems like the most beautiful story, but of course I cannot remember anything. I tell her so. She just pats me on my arms and kisses my cheek.
She rinses the napkin on the basin once and moves to wipe on my hands and feet.
The whole ordeal makes me feel warm and clean and it also makes me smells nice. I tell her so. She says it is because she had put some drops of Lavender oil into the water.
"Thank You." I say to her.
She smiles and puts the napkin back into the basin. She holds it up and makes a move to leave.
"Cora?"
"Yes Robert?"
"Will you come and talk to me again later on?"
"Of course I will. I will just be going to get your medicine in town with Baxter. It won't be long. I will be back before the gong. Why don't you rest yourself? I'll wake you up for dinner."
I nod. She smiles and left the room.
Baxter? Another name I can't get myself to remember.
I ease down the bed and close my eyes. The smell of Lavender oil is in the air.
I sleep to the images of Cora's blue eyes, her smile and the feel of the warmth of her hands.
