Author's Note: Sorry for spelling errors and such. Being back to school sticks. Updates won't be as frequent now.
Soubi patted my head like an adult would to a little kid. Suddenly I was furious. It seemed like no one in my life could take me seriously, or accept me no matter what I did. I was started to get made. I didn't want to be treated like a child...not by Soubi. Anyone else could just not him. He knew I stopped being a child when Semei supposedly died. I was no longer a child. I didn't have that anymore. I wasn't as lucky as other kids who didn't have a crazy mom.
"Soubi you don't seem to understand me." I put my hands on either side of his face and made him look at me. He looked straight at me and didn't move away. I could see he was beginning to understand. I didn't love him like a brother or a friend.
Kio walked back in. "Forgot my jacket." I moved away from Soubi then got up and locked myself in the bathroom. Someone was forever going to be ruining my life. I turned on the water in the tub and stripped down. I sat in and let the water fill around me. I wanted to drown everything out.
At times like this I couldn't help but think of Semei. He would've made me feel better. We used to take baths together and stay together. He would protect me and I was allowed to act like a little kid. He never stopped saying that he loved me and I was the best brother ever. He was the best brother too. It was hard to think of him the way he is now. He used to be all hugs and smiles. Now he wrote messages on the wall in blood when it was completely unnecessary. He was cruel. I still loved him though.
I wasn't sure if I'd ever be strong enough to completely reject Semei. The thought crushed me every night before I went to sleep, greeted me in my nightmares, and was still with me when I woke up. I scrubbed myself until I felt like all the bad things were gone. Soubi had been knocking at the door for some time, but I wouldn't let him in. I didn't like to cry in front of anyone. It'd be another reason for Soubi to treat me like I was a baby.
Standing in front of the steamed over mirror I looked like one. I looked fragile. I looked like something that needed to be held or protected. I punched the wall. It cracked and I saw blood drip down onto the floor. "Ritsuka! Open the door!" I unlocked it. My hand was behind my back. Soubi looked at the wall. I shoved him out of the way and went to find some clothes. I needed a walk. He grabbed me before I got far.
He was examining my hand before I could pull it away. I got half dressed while Soubi looked for the first aid kit. My hand was slowing me down to much so I couldn't make an escape in time. "I know you're angry Ritsuka, but you shouldn't hurt yourself."
"Should I hurt someone else?" I looked out the window at the summer thunder storm. The rain was falling like it was being poured from buckets. It looked like waterfalls on everyone's windows.
"Hurt me." Soubi was wrapping up my hand.
"I don't want to hurt you."
"Then don't hurt yourself." Hurting myself hurt Soubi. I didn't want to hurt Soubi. He'd been hurt so much by Semei. I nodded. I was so tired. I plopped down in bed and closed my eyes. Just before I was falling asleep I felt Soubi slide in bed next to me. It was a start.
