Nate's P.O.V

"So, do you believe me?" I heard the doubt in there, as if she was expecting me to say no. And that's what reminded me, she may put on a strong front, like nothing ever hurts her, but inside she was still the little girl who was petrified of everyone leaving her. Looking around the room, I saw that this time, she even looked the part. She looked so fragile, lying in the hospital bed, and looking like my answer would break her.

"Yes." I said, making my voice hold the conviction that I felt. Seeing her look so defeated, I knew that she had to be telling the truth. Serena may be an expert in lying to everyone, but I could always see when she was trying to hide something. And I could count on one hand, the amount of times; she was so truly honest with me. Her eyes snapped up to meet mine again then, surprise shining back at me.

"Wh... What?" she asked, stuttering over her words, astonishment clearly in her voice "You believe me?"

"Yes." I replied sitting on the bed next to her, and pushing a strand of her hair behind her ear. "Serena, I know when you're lying. I've been on the other end of your lies too many times, not to notice the signs. But this time I know you're not lying."

"Nate." She whispered, tears forming in her eyes "I really can't say how much that means. But I'm scared Nate, I know I didn't take any drugs but they ended up in my system anyway. I know it sounds ridiculous, and like I'm being overly dramatic, but I think someone gave me them."

"Serena, I'm beginning to think there is no such as overly dramatic in our lives." I sighed. "It's like just when we have everything worked out, something has to happen, to make us re-analyse everything."

She nodded in agreement "But I normally deserve them. I guess I can't really be surprised that no-one believes me over this. I probably wouldn't believe me if I was anyone else. But ever since that night, when everything changed, I promised myself I'd never end up like that again. And it was hard, and I wasn't perfect, and then I got the call about Erik, and that's what really sealed it. I ran away from everything, because it was what I needed. But I failed to realise that maybe Erik needed me there. It was my fault that he..."

"Hey." I whispered soothingly, taking her hand in mine, as he gaze rested on our hands. "That was not your fault. And we know you worked hard to get away from your old lifestyle. And you know Erik loves you, we all love you S."

She laughed a little then gesturing with her free hand around the room "I can see that. Where you careful not to sit on any of those imaginary people who 'love' me?"

"S, don't be like that. Whatever happened that night, it hurt more people than just you." I might have been trying to reassure her then, but I wasn't sure that I managed to keep the hurt from my eyes. I might have everyone convinced that it was the fact that she was meant to have kissed me and Dan on the same night, that made me upset. But what really upset me about that night, was seeing the picture of her kissing Dan. He was suddenly transported back to when he was sixteen and seeing the girl he loved, even though he shouldn't, in the arms of someone else. He had grown up these past few years, but something about her made him act like that shy teenager around her.

She sighed and looked at me, her eyes clouding over and I knew that she was going into her defensive mode. Something that once you let her get into, was hard to get her out of. This is the look we seen so many times growing up, and was normally followed by then looking around the bars of New York praying we would find her, before she managed to harm herself in some way. It was also what happened, right before she shut everyone out. I seen her open her mouth, most likely to find a polite way to tell me leave, so I placed my index finger against her mouth and seen her pause in surprise.

"What am I five?" she scoffed moving my hand away.

"I never meant it like that. And I knew you were hurt more than us, and I don't know how scared you must be feeling right now. All I meant to say was that they need some to let everything sink in. Then they'll realise the truth. That you wouldn't hurt any of us like that. I know we can tear other people apart, but we always had our own rules. They'll come round."

"And if I don't want them too?" she asked softly, so soft I had to strain to hear her. "Part of me hates that they didn't believe me. Or even give me the time to explain. Maybe I should just give up; everyone just assumes the worst from me, why shouldn't I have the fun that goes with the blame?"

"But you won't."

"How can be so sure?"

"Because I know you, S. You've never done anything because someone told you to, or someone expected it of you. You were the unpredictable one, you done what you wanted and everyone else just had to accept it."

"I tried so hard not to let anything bother me. To make the criticisms hurt less, pretend I didn't care that no-one thought I would ever make anything for myself, that Mom leaving didn't hurt, or that... Well there's a lot I used to pretend didn't hurt me, that's why I felt I needed the parties. Cause in those moments, no-one expects anything from you, no-one cares and you get to pretend, even for a second that the you were happy."

She finished her speech in such a broken voice, and her eyes were now staring into space, fighting the tears that threatened to fall. And I squeezed her hand, before she could pull it away. I couldn't do much to handle her wounds, they were too far out of my comfort zone, even Chuck and Blair had never found a way to help heal them, so I offered the only comfort I could. Letting her know that no matter what, at least one person was on her side.

"You weren't happy?" I asked. I knew this of course, there are wounds deep within her, and even she doesn't acknowledge them, and won't let anyone else comment on them. But when she was like this, I hoped that maybe, for the first time she would let me all the way in. I wasn't an idiot, I know that she let me, Blair and Chuck see more than anyone else, but that didn't mean she let us see everything, far from it in fact.

She just gave a delicate shrug, turning around so that her back was facing me, and I knew that the tears were beginning to get too much for her. She never let anyone see her cry if she could help it, actually I could count on one hand the amount of times she had cried in front of me. Then she spoke, her voice sounding as if it was coming from miles away:

"I know we're the 'privileged' ones, and got everything we ever wanted, and really shouldn't complain. Not when you think about all the pain in the world, and what some people have to live through. And I know it sounds like yet another rich person complain about their pitiful problems, but... All I wanted growing up was for someone to stay. Someone who cared enough about me, to actually want to spend time with me. You know, it really says something when your own parents, don't deem you important enough to get to know. I spent my life watching people leave, moving into hotels when Mom decided to detox after she got dumped again. I've never known stable, and I can't... I can't even let myself be open with my friends. I let myself screw up everything up, so that it can't be fixed, so that when people, at least I can blame it on that. It hurts less that way."

Then she turned again and looked me in the eyes, and seen the emptiness shining back at me, and at that instant all I wanted to do was hold her. Hold her, and shield her from everything that had ever hurt her. Not let anything else ever because that look on her face, as is she had nothing, it hurt me more than anything else. And that's when I got it. Truly got it, I had always thought Serena of being the broken little girl, but maybe she never got over it. She just got better at hiding the cracks.

"Nate, I don't get why you're here. I've been so horrible to you. You want to know something funny? When I left for boarding school, I used to think about coming back. Coming back, and seeing you. I don't know, I always thought if we ever got together, that would be the one that would stick. I had the best time with you. But I still couldn't talk about how I felt. And it ruined everything, and then I left, which is a definite contender for the most stupid thing I've ever done. But I had to."

And as much as I could see shad more to say I had to cut in there. I tried to fight it but the months of repressed anger got a bit too much again and it came out before I could stop it. "You had to? What do you mean you had to? I would have done anything for you. I know you where upset with me, but I was trying to do what I thought was best for you. I knew how much he hurt you in the past, and I thought if he left with an excuse it would hurt less than if he just left again."

"I know." She whispered. "And I'm sorry for letting you think that was why, but honestly I got scared. I got scared that, and I know this sounds stupid, but I wasn't scared. I didn't mind if things got serious, and I freaked. I never was that girl, I was the floaty one who done short-term relationships. I never wanted long-term, that's when you get hurt. And I realised that I love you, and I just got scared. I didn't know what to do, so I did the one thing that I could count on. I ran."

"You ran because you loved me?" I asked to clarify. She merely nodded at me, as we lapsed into silence. She loved me. But wait she said love, as in present tense. I was going to say something when the nurse walked in, and paused when she seen me.

"Young man, visiting hours are over." She reprimanded.

"I'm sorry. I was just checking on my cousin. I needed to see if she was OK." I lied. "But you're right. I need to go."

I turned back to Serena then, and smiled at her softly. "I'll see you tomorrow." And while I had planned to just leave after that, but I leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her head first. I seen her blink up at me in surprise, but I couldn't take looking into her beautiful blue eyes without getting lost in them. So I muttered goodbye and left. I stood outside the hospital, leaning against the building trying to digest what had happened since I got there. All I knew for sure was that I believe Serena when she said she didn't do it, which meant I had a lot to do before I went back to the hospital tomorrow.


Serena's P.O.V

He believed me! He actually listened when I said that I didn't know what happened that night. It took him so long to get here, but at that moment, I didn't actually care. He might have taken longest to get here, but he cared enough to listen. More than that, he actually believed what I had to say. Even if I had to go to Ostroff tomorrow, at least I knew there was one other person, and Dan, who would think I shouldn't be there. So with that, I fell asleep happy. That was until I got woken up by someone shaking me. My eyes fluttered open, and I groaned as the bright light of the room hit my eyes. That's when I seen the people staring back at me. Blair, who had woke me up, was next to me, Chuck was leaning against the door and Nate was sitting in the chair.

"Urm... hi." I said looking around trying to figure out what was going on. But as usual they let nothing away through their facial expressions. "Why are you all here?"

"Because Nathaniel here, insisted we listen to you." Chuck explained.

"Nate, seems to believe you when you say you didn't do anything on that night. And when looking back, after everything, I don't think you'd do anything to hurt me and Chuck. I was just angry, and I don't know, you'd been acting weird all day. I'm..."

"It's fine Blair." I smiled. And maybe it wasn't, but who was I to hold a grudge? She forgave me, when I betrayed her in the worst way possible. She even had reason to not believe me, and I may still be hurt but I could use all the friends I could get right now.

"No it's not S." She replied sitting down next to me on the bed. "But I promise to help you find whoever did this to you, and make them pay. We might be allowed to scheme against others, but I will not let anyone hurt those I care about."

"And that's why we're all thankful we're your friends." I laughed. "But seriously? Do we have a plan yet?"

They all exchanged looks and avoided my gaze. "Well I'll take that as a no."

"It's not that we don't have a plan, it's just that we think we might have an idea as to where to start." Blair started. "We got some help from an unlikely source."

"I'm not getting hints here." I laughed, then seen their looks. "Seriously? You guys are actually not going to tell me what you know. I'm in hospital you know. And if I don't have something I can Mom, then I'm going to be going to the Ostroff centre!"

That's when I seen their awkward looks again. "You guys want me to go?" I asked looking around at them all. "But you said you believe me!"

"We do sis." Chuck said from his place next to the door. "It just might be safer for you to stay there while we deal with some problems."

"Problems?" I asked.

"Finding the person who did this to you." Blair said, and I seen the subtle glance at Nate. I followed her gaze and for the first time seen his facial expression. He looked angry, disappointed and slightly pale. And as much as it was horrible to do so, getting answers from Nate was my best bet.

"Chuck, Blair could you two get me some more magazines please? I know I got some yesterday, but I read them all. And it's not like there's much else to do here."

They debated it inwardly, and I could almost see them trying to analyse what could go wrong if they left the two of us together. It may be hard to see from the outside, but the four of us knew that Nate was the worst liar out the four of us. Eventually they left us alone, and I turned to Nate, who to his credit was looking anywhere but me. After a while of him playing the avoidance game, I sighed.

"Spill it, Archibald."

He looked up to me then laughter dancing in his eyes. "Last name's? Really VanDerWoodsen?"

"I'll upgrade you to first name if you tell me?"

He shook his head as the laughter in his eyes died. Was it really that bad? Blair and Chuck seemed mad, but Nate now looked guilty?

"Nate, tell me. Please." I pleaded. "I think I deserve to know why I'm here! What I done that was so bad, that someone felt the need to do this. Nate please, I can't stand not knowing. How would you feel if you were me? It has to be someone close to me, who else would know exactly what to do, to hurt me the most?"

He reached out and placed his hand over mine "Serena, I promise, we're not going to let anything happen to you. I'll stay by your side if that's what it took. If it gets to that point, we'll act as personal body guards. But we don't know the full story yet, or exactly how many people were involved."

"Wait what?" I asked. "How many people? There was more than one?"

He looked at me sheepishly. "We... we know three so far. But, I know at least one of them won't try anything again. They were the one who told us what had happened, or at least as much as she knew."

"She?" I clarified, then seen him blush. "So one of three is a she, who won't do it again, and would be the aforementioned unlikely source. Who Blair seems to have a distaste for. Which is weird because the only person I know who she hates that much is..."

I trailed off when I seen Nate's face. Or more the top of his head, considering his gaze was transfixed on the floor. "Nate. Who was the unlikely source?"

He stayed quite but when he looked up at me eventually I seen the answers written in his eyes. I shook my head and let my head fall against my pillows.

"So, just to clarify, it was Jenny."

"I didn't say..."

"Nate, you're useless at lying. Please don't. So, someone who helped put me here, is probably at my Mom's, sleeping in my room, while I'm stuck here. You know, it sucks when your mother prefers to believe your back-stabbing, lying, manipulate, stepsister instead of you."

"Serena, I know she's done some thing's but she's not that bad." He said, and I scoffed looking at him in astonishment.

"Excuse me? She helped put me in here. She chose being queen B, over the person who was meant to be her best friend. I should have killed her when she upset Erik. I wanted to, he convinced me not to. And there was all the rubbish she pulled with us last year."

I broke off then, the anger from last year flooding back. I remembered walking into his suite, to see Jenny reaching over towards him, and all I could do was think that maybe he deserved someone else. Someone who you know, wouldn't randomly desert him at a wedding to go see their father, who made it pretty clear they don't care about the person. Or see maybe the one person he actually hates, while telling him they were at family lunch.

"Natie?" I said softly.

"You haven't called me that since we were kids." He laughed. "But what is it S."

"Do you think it's best I go to Ostroff for a while?"

"Blair and Chuck said..."

"No! I don't want to know what they think, I know what they think. I want to know what you think."

He looked me in the eyes then, and gave me his protective smile "I would feel better if you did. I know you don't need to be there, but at least they would have methods of keeping you safe, and we don't know where to find the main problem, so at least there I could count on the fact that you would at least be safe."

"I don't want to go Natie." I whispered.

"I know. But even we can't sneak you out of a hospital, especially not when we both know Lily will be here shortly."

"Oh yes, she never does let the chance to remind me of much of a disappointment I am pass. You know she should record the lecture, it would be a lot easier for her."

"You know it's only her way of showing she cares."

"She told me I'd never change." I said suddenly. "It's like no matter how hard I try, she's never going to see any of my achievements. She'll just be waiting for me to mess. Do you know hard that is? Knowing everyone you care about is just waiting for you to mess up? I know you have it hard to live up to everyone's expectations, but at least people expect good things from you. I'll always be the messed up teenager."

"I don't see you like that." Nate said, and I looked at him with a look that showed my disbelief. "I don't. I still see some parts of that girl. I see the fact that you still behind the facade you spent so long building. But more than that, I see the girl who would do anything for her friends, I see the girl who would die for her brother, I see the girl who isn't afraid to try no matter how much she might fail. I see the girl that worked so hard to change. And S, I see the girl who doubts that she has. I think out of everyone you've tried so hard to convince, you still don't believe you have. It would hurt less if you were truly honest with us, didn't it help when everything about Pete came out?"

"There are some things that would make everyone hate me." I replied as the memories played out in my head.

"Serena, there is nothing you could ever do to make us hate you. There's nothing you could ever do to make me hate you."

"I..." was about to tell him that there was some things that would changed the way they all looked at me, when the door opened suddenly.

"Serena, I think we need to talk. Don't you?" My mother asked, I looked over her shoulder and seen Erik, Rufus, Dan and... Jenny! Are you kidding me? She was just going to stand there as if she had done nothing wrong. OK, so I might not know exactly what she had done, but still. But I didn't have time to focus on that, I had to deal with my mother.

"Do you want me to stay?" Nate whispered.

I shook my head. "Someone needs to go and check to see if Chuck and Blair have killed each other yet. And no-one else will get away with it."

He nodded and placed a soft kiss on my head, and I couldn't help the flutter that appeared when he did. I smiled as he left, pretending not to notice the disappointed look on Dan's face. There was no pretending not to notice the sheer look of anger on Mom's face though.

"Would you care to explain, just exactly what you were thinking?" I would say she asked, but it really was more of a demand. I looked to Jenny who was still standing next to the door, not saying anything. Well fine, if she wasn't going to say anything I would!

"Serena, I want an explination!" Mom demanded again.

"And I'll tell you." I replied. "Or how about we have the person who actually knows what happened explain it?"

"Serena, you're not making any sense. If this is your way of trying to get out of..."

"I'm not getting out of anything." I said. "Jenny, care to explain what happened that night. Considering you know more than me?"